


Lightning Strikes Twice

by dinosaursmate



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (not really but kind of?), Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Facials, Famous Harry, Fluff, Groupie Louis, Hand Jobs, It's not as dark as it sounds, Light Angst, M/M, Old Age, Orgy, Outing, Rimming, Threesome, Viagra, brief louis/omc, brief mention of overdose, candid discussions of death, closeting, the dirty kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 104,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaursmate/pseuds/dinosaursmate
Summary: Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh, snaking his fingers up and inwards. “I’m a big fan. You’re so talented, and I have to admit that I actually fancy you a bit.”“Yeah?” Harry reached up to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. “Well, you know, I like to try and be accommodating to my fans.”“You’re quite well known for that,” Louis whispered as he turned his head some more, their mouths an inch apart. “So I hear.”---Rock star Harry Styles was nineteen when he met Louis, a groupie with a huge heart that Harry couldn’t quite shake from his mind. Fate granted him a second chance at the age of sixty, his washed up and lonely existence being transformed by a widower with a bookshop.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> PHEW! Okay first of all, this thing is a beast. Big thank you to [Jacky](https://dimpled-halo.tumblr.com/) and [Sus](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/) for betaing and just generally being a helping hand! The Daddy chat too for listening to me go on and on. 
> 
> As always, you can come and chat to me if you have any concerns or questions! You can find me on [ Tumblr here](http://catfishau.tumblr.com/). As a whole, it's not as dark as it sounds. I promise!!!
> 
> Also, this fic spans over 60 years in total but for the sake of ease and focus on the story, I've not tried to predict the future or anything so things like technology are all essentially the same all the way through. Please grant me creative licence with that. Haha.

**_Harry Styles, 59, shares sweet Instagram snap with cat: ‘she’s the best of my life’_ **

**_\---_ **

Harry pulled on a beanie hat and tucked a few rogue curls into it. He zipped his coat up higher and grabbed hold of the shopping bags he had left for himself on the hall chair.

“I really wish you’d let me do your shopping.”

Harry turned to grin at his housekeeper. “Gwen, I have to cling to my humanity somehow. Anyway, it’s an excuse to get out of the house when I’m not working.”

Gwen tutted. “You get out plenty. You should let me do it. Or order your groceries online.”

“I like going to the supermarket.” Harry smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m gonna be mowed down by a stampede of screaming girls.”

Gwen looked at him, unimpressed. “Pick up some spinach, please? I need it for your dinner tonight.”

“Will do.” Harry grinned fondly. “You can go next time. How about that?”

Gwen rolled her eyes and turned away to go and do some cleaning. Harry left the house and opened the door to his car. He threw the shopping bags onto the passenger seat and headed round to the driver’s side and climbed in. He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel of his Jaguar. He’d been thinking of getting rid of it, if he was honest. He was probably too old for a bloody Jaguar anyway. Did people laugh at him? An old man driving a Jag?

He  _ was _ old. He felt old. His grandkids - or rather, his sister Gemma’s grandkids - made him feel old, but in the best possible way. They didn’t care that he was a washed-up rock star. To them, he was just a sad, old, uncool man. They made him feel the most normal he had ever felt.

Christmas had been exhausting with two young kids running around a house jam-packed with family. They had all gathered at Harry’s: Harry and Gemma’s mother, Anne, Gemma, her husband Tim, their kids Matthew and Susanne, Susanne’s husband Zac, and  _ their  _ kids Christine and Rachel, aged six and nine, respectively. It had been quite the ordeal, but it was worth it. The energy had almost made him feel young again.

But now, Harry was hurtling towards a milestone. In less than a fortnight, he would turn sixty and wasn’t that just  _ fantastic?  _ When he was young and cocky, he thought he would grow old gracefully, still vibrant, still fucking everything that moved. Then again, Harry had been an idiotic human being in his twenties. He was lucky not to be broke. Probably lucky to be alive, if he was honest. 

He pulled into the car park of Waitrose, grabbed his shopping bags and heaved himself out of the car. It was definitely time to get rid of the Jaguar. He could barely get out of the bloody thing these days. Absent mindedly, he pondered what car to get. Maybe a Range Rover? 

He fetched himself a trolley and threw the bags into the kids’ seat. As he slowly pushed it down the dairy aisle, his phone started to ring.  _ Liam. _

“Hiya, mate. What’s up?”

_ “Okay, the charity wants to do a new campaign, so they need you to pop by for a photoshoot.” _

“Yeah, fine.” Harry sighed, focusing his attention on deciding how much cheese was too much. “Send me a schedule, Liam. I’ll be there.”

_ “How are you, mate?” _

“Can’t complain. Just in Waitrose.”

_ “Let Gwen do your shopping for you, for God’s sake! These are the things she’s there to do.” _

“No,” Harry replied flatly. “Hey, did we get paid for that festival thing I did in November?”

_ “Yeah. Why? Short on cash?” _

“No,” Harry said indignantly. “Just wondering.”

_ “You don’t need to wonder, Harry. You know I make sure you get paid for everything-” _

“But there was that time when-”

_ “Once! It was once. And it was, like, ten years ago. Get over it.” _

“Alright.” Harry laughed, trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder as he turned the trolley into the next aisle. “Look, piss off and let me be an actual human being for an hour. I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.”

_ “Excellent.” _

Harry said his goodbyes to his manager and hung up. Liam probably knew him better than anyone. He had been there through the good, the bad, and the ugly. The Grammy wins, the crippling depression, the addiction. Still, he survived. They both did. Even if poor Liam did go grey at the age of 29.

Harry made it all the way back to his car before getting spotted. He was loading the shopping into the boot when he noticed a woman approaching him, wide eyed and gasping. She looked to be in her early 50s.

“Harry Styles!” 

“That’s me. Hiya, love.”

“Oh my God, I used to have posters of you all over my walls. That concert you did at Wembley Stadium when you released your eighth album…”

“God, that must’ve been… twenty years ago?”

“I’ve never seen a concert like it!” the woman squealed. “Can I have a selfie?”

“Of course.” Harry smiled softly, gently pressing his cheek into the red face of the woman. She thanked him, grabbing him for a hug before she trotted off, looking back over her shoulder excitedly. Harry laughed softly to himself, slammed the boot shut, and climbed into the car.

-

Liam had managed to bag Harry’s favourite makeup artist for the photoshoot, and thank God because Harry couldn’t have just anyone attending to his mess of a face. She gently scolded him about his skincare routine and sighed as she tried to tame his curls. His hair was completely grey, thinned to the point where he couldn’t wear it past his ears without it looking ratty. It tended to stick up in all directions and he didn’t even try to style it most of the time. She sighed, stroking his face before tutting.

“Harry, how many times? Please use the moisturiser I gave you.”

“Sorry, Mia. Sorry,” he murmured as she patted him on the shoulder, slipping away as Liam approached.

“Harry?” Liam prompted and Harry swiveled round in the chair. “This is Emily.”

“Hello, Emily.” Harry stood, shaking the young girl’s hand. She was smiling widely and seemed to be barely containing her energy as she bounced slightly on the balls of her feet. She was very pretty, chestnut hair brushing past her shoulders. “It’s lovely to meet you.”

“Likewise, Mr, Styles,” she replied.

“Please, call me Harry. I have to tell you, I love your accent. It’s one of my very favourites.”

“Emily is visiting from Australia,” Liam explained. “She has a friend who works in accounting and she fancied spending the day here just to see how things work.”

“Oh!” Harry brightened. “Welcome. Are you following someone around today?”

“I’m shadowing Janine. Or, I was, until Liam snatched me away.”

“Oh, lovely. Janine is wonderful at her job. Come with me, let’s chat.”

Harry indicated to Liam his assistance was no longer needed, instructing his manager to call him when they were ready to shoot. He tilted his head, gesturing for Emily to follow him.

“So, what exactly is it you’re interested in?”

“Not sure,” Emily said, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I’d love to do some more charity work, and you do wonderful work here for kids.”

“Thank you. Ah, I do what I can, but I’m mainly the face and the bank account.”

“And the name. You know, I really admire when celebrities use their fame for things like this. I obviously don’t know you, but from what I’ve read, you seem wonderful.”

“I try,” Harry said with a grin. “These bloody royalties are only going to gather dust, anyway.”

Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He read the text from Liam, politely requesting his presence.

“That’s me.” Harry sighed, turning on his heel. “I’ll show you around another time, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Emily beamed as they walked back the way they came. “Talking to you was great. Can I tell you something embarrassing?”

“Always!” Harry laughed.

“I grew up around your music. My dad is a huge fan of yours. He honestly never used to shut up about you.”

“Oh! Well.” Harry laughed. “Good to see you turned out to be such a lovely young woman, despite being raised on the likes of me. I can’t imagine I was a very good influence.”

Emily laughed, a soft, melodic sound that bathed Harry in warmth. “Um, also… my dad is coming by in a bit to pick me up. Will you meet him? I hate to ask, and really, it’s fine if you want to say no. I can tell him to wait outside. But I think it would make his week, you know?”

“Oh, come on now. I’d love to meet him.”

As Harry greeted the photographer, Emily stood next to Mia and Liam to watch. It wasn’t much, they just wanted a few shots of Harry in front of reception, and then they headed outside to take some photos in front of the building. Once they headed back inside, Harry strolled around, chatting to staff members, the photographer taking a few candid shots for social media. 

“Not exactly the most exciting day for you.” Harry grinned at Emily as he approached her. “If you’re about, you’re welcome to pop along to some of our events. We’ve got a big dinner coming up. Chat to Janine about it.”

“That’d be great. Thanks!” Emily’s phone buzzed and she glanced at it, rolling her eyes and smiling nervously at Harry. “Ugh. My dad’s in reception.”

“Awesome! Let’s go see him.”

Emily groaned, embarrassed as they headed towards reception. “Sorry in advance if he gets weird,” she whispered to Harry as they pushed through the doors into the lobby. “He’s such a big fan, honestly.”

“I promise I’ve encountered weirder.” Harry laughed, veiling his face with a blanket of  _ Harry Styles Charm _ as he spotted Emily’s dad. All pretense melted off his face as he looked him in the eyes, barely contained surprise washing over his expression.

“Dad, this is Harry. Harry? My dad, Louis.”

_ “Louis Tomlinson,” _ Harry said slowly, shaking his head and betraying a slight grin. “What the fuck are the odds?”

“Small world,” Louis said lightly, shrugging and holding his hand out to Harry, smirk playing on his lips. “Wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”

“Haha! Please.” 

Harry slid his palm into Louis’, grasping and shaking it. It must’ve been… what? Thirty years? 

Emily stared between them in disbelief as Harry took Louis in. He was impossibly handsome, his grey hair still thick and full. It suited him very well, the soft lines on his face only making him more attractive. If seeing Louis made Harry feel young again in any capacity, it was an odd feeling of insecurity at his own looks. The years had certainly been kind to Louis, and Harry felt like a wrinkled bag of shit standing here in front of him.

“Dad!” Emily scolded with a whisper. “You didn’t tell me you knew him. What the hell?”

Louis cocked a discreet eyebrow at Harry. “Oh, well. I wouldn’t say we  _ know _ each other. We met a few times.”

“A few times,” Harry repeated with a nod. 

“Okay…” Emily mumbled, thoroughly confused. “Dad, should we-?”

“Why don’t you just go wait in the car, my love? I’ll be there in a sec.”

Emily cocked an eyebrow, looking startlingly like Louis as she did. She rolled her eyes, turning to Harry. “Thank you for today, Harry. I’ll see you soon?”

“Definitely.” Harry pulled her in for a hug, eyeing Louis as he held her close. “Give me a moment with your dad, okay?”

She nodded, leaving the building. The air between Harry and Louis felt awkward, and Harry shrugged with a smile.

“What do you mean, you didn’t know whether I’d remember you?” Harry grinned softly, reaching to squeeze Louis’ jumper clad arm. “Daft thing.”

“Well, there were a lot of others.”

“Oh, come on.” Harry tilted his head, smiling sweetly. “You know you were my favourite.”

Louis scoffed softly, rolling his eyes and stifling a smile. “Well, it was lovely to see you.”

“You too.” Harry smiled. “I can’t believe you’re here, standing in front of me. God, you look great.”

Louis raised an eyebrow, eyes dragging down, then back up Harry’s body. “As do you.”

Harry tried not to shrink under the scrutiny and changed the subject swiftly.

“Well, I’d love to catch up.”

“That sounds great.” Louis pulled his phone out and Harry snatched it from his hands, typing.

“Here is my number. Give me a call, or something.”

“Is Harry Styles finally giving me his phone number? After forty years?!”

“Excuse me?!” Harry laughed, handing him back the phone. “You had my number.”

“I had  _ Liam’s _ number. Nobody was allowed to have  _ your  _ number.”

Harry looked down at his feet, feeling himself blush for the first time in probably over a decade. It was true. Anytime Harry had been lonely, it had been down to Liam - who was his assistant at the time, not his manager, like he was now - to arrange company for him. He’d had a core of regulars dotted around the world; his favourites that he knew he could trust, at least somewhat. Whenever he had been back in the UK, he had looked forward to heading up north and seeing Louis… and fucking Louis. 

“What are weekends like for you?” Louis asked. “I’m pretty swamped in the week.”

“Hm? Yeah, fine.” Harry snapped out of his reminiscence. “Come round for a beer or dinner.”

“Alright, I’ll text you.”

Louis turned to walk away, waving as he went. Harry watched him leave, before turning away and trying to focus on the job in hand.

-

Harry sat in the relative silence of his conservatory, listening to the pitter patter of the rain on the roof. He still felt rather stunned that he had seen Louis again. He had to admit that he thought about him from time to time, and he couldn’t believe Louis had even uttered the words,  _ wasn’t sure you’d remember me. _ How could he forget? Louis helped him through one of the hardest times of his life. 

He heard the doorbell ring in the distance. He climbed to his feet and headed through to the kitchen. He heard shuffling in the hall before the door opened and Gwen poked her head around the door.

“Harry? Louis has arrived.”

Harry nodded, fixing his t-shirt. “Okay. Let him in.”

A second later Louis was walking into the room, a huge smile on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Harry held up a hand and gave a brief wave.

“This is…  _ some  _ place you’ve got.”

“Oh, thanks.” Harry shrugged. “I’ve been here, oh… six years now?”

Louis silently glanced around the kitchen and conservatory, folding his arms. Louis wore glasses, now, propped on his nose in front of what were still stunningly blue eyes.

“You want something to drink?” Harry asked. “Tea? Beer? Vodka?”

“Haha! A beer would be lovely.”

Harry fetched two beers from the fridge, popped the tops off and led Louis out into the conservatory. Harry loved to watch the rain from here. He had wasted many an afternoon falling asleep on the sofa whilst reading a book.

He was such a different person than he had been last time he had seen Louis.

“How long’s it been, Louis?” Harry smiled as they sat down at opposite ends of the sofa. “Thirty years?”

“Yeah, um…” Louis picked at the label of his bottle. “Like, thirty-five or something, I think.”

“Bloody hell,” Harry whispered. “Can you believe it?”

Louis grinned softly. “Yes and no. In some ways it’s felt like no time at all, but… a lot has happened.”

Harry placed his arm on the back of the sofa and absently ran his fingertip over a scratch in the brown leather. Bloody cat.

“Is this… does this feel a bit awkward?” Harry asked.

Louis wrinkled his nose. “You know what? I’m not sure.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh. “After all we’ve been through together… it seems a bit stupid that it should be awkward. You know what I mean?”

Louis looked away and grinned to himself. “Yeah. But it’s been a really fucking long time, Harry.”

Harry sighed. He had been, like, nineteen when they had first met. Forty years. It really had been a long, long time.

“We’re different,” Louis said quietly. “We’re both different.”


	2. Part 1

**_Harry Styles brings tour home to Manchester_ **

**_\---_ **

Louis chewed nervously on his thumbnail as James approached him.

“Okay, look. I could get in a lot of trouble for this.”

“Alright, mate. I know. Thank you.” Louis gave him a reassuring smile. “No one will ever know it was you who let me backstage. And anyway, I’m not gonna harass him or anything.”

“Hm.” James remained unconvinced, but discreetly slipped the Access All Areas laminate into Louis’ palm anyway. “Be good, for fuck’s sake.”

Louis kissed James on the cheek and then James was gone. Louis headed down the street, round the corner to the one fire exit that was in a CCTV blackspot and, a second later, the door was opened and he slipped inside.

He was executing his plan flawlessly so far, but now that he was backstage, he realised he hadn’t planned this bit. All he knew was that he needed to find Harry Styles. And maybe find an excuse to take his top off. Hey, he needed to impress him somehow.

James had brought him backstage last week on a day when there wasn’t a concert, just as a sort of dry run so that Louis was somewhat familiar with his surroundings. The military-style operation probably wasn’t necessary, but last month’s failed attempt to get into the afterparty down in London had only fuelled Louis’ need to meet Harry. At least up here in Manchester, he had a friend in the venue’s security, unlike in London.

Louis walked down the corridor with purpose, trying to look like he had somewhere to be. He could probably pass for a techie of some sort, right? As he got nearer the stage, he could hear music playing. Harry must be soundchecking or something. Louis felt a rush of adrenaline when he spotted Liam, Harry’s assistant. He looked expectant, and just then, Harry came charging past.

“Liam, I need some Skittles. I’ve got a proper craving.”

“Let’s get you to your dressing room. Then I’ll run out and fetch you some, yeah? I need to go have a chat with Jeff first, but then I’ll run straight out.”

As hard as it was, Louis turned on his heel and walked away from where Harry was. He made his way to the stage door, making a point of greeting the stage door keeper on his way out. He tucked his laminate in once he hit the street and made his way to Sainsbury’s as fast as he could. He picked up a big bag of Skittles, quickly paying before running back to the arena. The stage door keeper let him in after a quick flash of his AAA pass and Louis tried to find his way to Harry’s dressing room.

Signage was pretty extensive backstage, so it didn’t take him long to find the star dressing room. Nerves were encompassing Louis, now. He raised a fist, taking a shaky breath before hammering on the door. He quickly fixed his fringe and wet his lips, setting his face with a charming smile and tilting his head.

The door was yanked open and, oh my God, there he was. Harry Styles, with a blank look of nonrecognition on his face.

“Hello?” Harry looked at him, and Louis could feel his gaze like a dagger, firstly flicking to the AAA pass around his neck, then up and down his body and lastly, to the bag of Skittles in his hand. “Ah, are those for me?”

“Oh. Yeah. Um… Liam sent me.” Louis held out the bag and their fingers brushed as Harry took it from him.

“So… what?” Harry scoffed. “I have to get rid of the orange ones… _myself?!”_

Louis’ eyes widened and he started to stammer. “Oh, I- I don’t…”

“I’m just kidding, mate!” Harry’s eyes twinkled and Louis sighed with relief. Fuck, he wanted to jump this man’s bones. “Thanks a lot. See ya around.”

The door slammed in Louis’ face and he claimed one small victory.

-

Louis stayed backstage for the show because, one, he hadn’t managed to get a ticket to this particular show, and two, he may have had a small victory, but he hadn’t got what he wanted yet.

He was hanging around behind the stage towards the end of the show when Harry ran past to have a wee, returning less than a minute later and stopping in his tracks when he saw Louis. The crowd was chanting his name, stamping their feet and demanding an encore. Harry looked at Louis curiously, ignoring the noise.

“Thanks again for the Skittles, mate.”

“Oh! No problem.”

“It’s funny though, because not long after you left, Liam brought me some Skittles and said he absolutely did _not_ send some lad to my room. Had no idea what I was talking about.”

Louis defaulted to his puppy dog expression and tried not to panic. He chewed on his bottom lip and looked up at Harry shyly.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to meet you.”

Harry laughed. “What’s your name, babe?”

“Louis Tomlinson.”

“Liam! Can you put Louis here on the list for tonight? It seems like he wants to experience a Harry Styles afterparty.”

“Whatever you say,” Liam said with a sigh. “Louis who, again?”

“Tomlinson,” Harry said, smirking at Louis. “So, do you actually work here or did you sneak in?”

Louis just gave Harry a small grin, shrugging. Harry laughed again, his eyes roaming over Louis’ body, taking him in.

“Harry?” Liam said, sounding exasperated. “Your encore.”

“Shit!” Harry’s eyes widened. “See you later, Louis. The party’s at that club down the road, I forget the name.”

Then he was gone. With one last glance at Liam, Louis tore out of the building and got in a cab home. Once he arrived, he reapplied deodorant, fixed his hair, and brushed his teeth. He changed clothes. He’d worn some of his nicest clothes to the concert, but he knew he needed an outfit change. And besides, he didn’t just need nice clothes, he needed _pulling_ clothes.

He forced himself to slow down. He didn’t need to rush back exactly, and it would be better to be fashionably late, anyway. He couldn’t _wait,_ though. He couldn’t actually believe it had worked, especially as he’d lacked any sort of plan, but here he was, about to head off to Harry Styles’ afterparty.

He got a cab back into town, energy buzzing through him for the whole journey. It was a fairly open secret in the industry that Harry Styles fucked anything that moved, male or female, although officially he was straight in the eyes of the media and the general public. Louis wasn’t cocky or anything, but he reckoned with a lot of alcohol and some shameless flirting he’d be able to get Harry into bed.

That was the plan, anyway. The tightest of his skinny jeans and his sheer black top ought to do it. Louis wasn’t exactly lacking in the sexual partner department, in fact when he went into clubs he had to fight them off with a stick. No, random guys in bars were no challenge for Louis Tomlinson. A-List rock stars, however… now, that was a challenge Louis was entirely up for. He had caught Harry’s attention already, he just needed to bring it home.

Louis felt eyes on him from the second he approached the club. He gave his name to the doorman, flashing his driver’s licence as ID, and he was waved on through. Once inside, he headed to the bar to get a drink.

“Sex On The Beach, please.” Louis leaned on the bar, sticking his arse out while the barman made his cocktail. The drink was placed in front of him and when he reached for his wallet, he was informed it was an open bar.

Louis was in an even better mood after hearing his two favourite words. He sipped at his drink, turning around to look for Harry. It didn’t take long to locate him. He was in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by people of course. He was a vision. Nineteen year old indecency on legs, looking absolutely ravishing. Louis immediately made his way over, easily slipping past the hot, sweaty bodies. As he approached Harry, a tall man barged him out of the way.

“Back off,” the man growled.

“Go easy, lad.” Louis raised his eyebrows, affronted.

The man scowled at Louis and turned to drape himself over Harry possessively. Maybe this was going to be harder than Louis anticipated. Harry could, and probably often did, have any guy or girl he wanted. Harry had invited him here, but he needed to catch his attention.

Louis elbowed the tall man out of the way and pressed himself to Harry’s side.

“Hello.”

Harry stopped mid-conversation with some blonde woman to turn and look at Louis. The corner of his mouth cocked up into a smile.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s the Skittles boy. It’s, um… Louis? Right? What are you drinking?”

“Sex On The Beach.” Louis sipped through his straw for emphasis. “My favourite.”

Harry let out a little laugh. “Well, who doesn’t love sex on the beach?”

Louis moved closer to Harry and started to dance, keeping Harry’s attention and he started to dance, too. All of Harry’s other hanger-ons went forgotten as Louis swayed his hips, the flashing lights of the club illuminating him as he moved and Harry’s eyes fell to where the lights rendered his top see-through, putting Louis’ toned stomach on display. Harry reached out his hands to touch, to grasp at Louis’ hips. His mouth twitched with a smirk.

Harry removed one hand from Louis and took his drink from him, downing the remaining liquid before handing the empty glass to the blonde he’d been speaking to a few minutes ago. Harry pulled Louis closer and they continued to dance, grinding on one another for the rest of the song. Some of the others tried to steal Harry’s attention, but it wasn’t working. Harry’s attention was hyper focused on Louis and Louis knew it was time to seal the deal.

He leaned in to speak in Harry’s ear. “Mm, you smell gorgeous,” he said, voice raspy and breathy. “What is that?”

“Some Tom Ford, I forget which,” Harry murmured.

“Hm, no.” Louis hummed. “That’s not it. Maybe it’s… just you.”

“Oh?” Harry rasped into Louis’ ear. “Is this your best chat up line, eh?”

Louis snorted gently. “I don’t need chat up lines, babe. Not with this arse.”

“Hm?” Harry hummed in interest. “Which arse would that be?”

Louis turned around, pressing himself against Harry’s front and arching his back slightly. His bum pressed back into Harry’s crotch and Harry’s grip on his hips tightened. Louis pressed back a bit more, and soon enough he felt Harry’s mouth next to his ear.

“You wanna move somewhere a bit more private? Have a drink?”

Louis didn’t make eye contact with any of the others as Harry led him off the dance floor by the hand, but he grinned smugly anyway, knowing they would all be looking at him. Harry led him all the way through the club to the back, where there appeared to be a few very dark, very secluded private booths. Harry raised his eyebrows in question to Louis, and he nodded.

Harry had a quick word with a host before they slipped inside a booth, a dull, red light illuminating them both enough so that Louis could see the dark look in Harry’s eyes.

“Did this place used to be a strip club, or something?” Louis asked lightly as a curtain swung closed behind them.

“Dunno.” Harry sat down on the plush seat, pulling Louis with him. Louis sat pressed up against Harry’s side. “I guess they keep it so VIPs can get up to sordid things in private.”

Louis let out a quiet laugh. The music wasn’t so loud in here, in fact it was a bit muffled. The heavy curtains made it feel like they were in a cave. Louis licked his lips and just as he was about to slide his hand onto Harry’s thigh, the music became louder and the host was pushing through the curtain.

“As you requested, Sir. A bottle of champagne, and four Slippery Nipples.”

“Thank you, Sandra.”

The host retreated and Louis was laughing again. “Is this you trying to tell me all four of your nipples are slippery?”

Harry shrugged with a grin, goofier than Louis had seen him since he arrived.

“So, you know about my extra nipples. Must be a bit of a fan.”

“Mm, yeah.” Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh, snaking his fingers up and in. “I’m a big fan. You’re _so_ talented, and I have to admit that I actually fancy you a bit.”

“Yeah?” Harry reached up to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. “Well, you know, I like to try and be accommodating to my fans.”

“You’re quite well known for that,” Louis whispered as he turned his head some more, their mouths an inch apart. “So I hear.”

Louis’ heart rabbited in his chest. His plan had worked. It had _actually_ worked. Harry Styles was kissing him as if he wanted to destroy him, and Louis wanted it. He could feel Harry’s cock filling up where his hand was squeezing the very top of his thigh, so he quickly removed his hand and straddled Harry.

“Hm, I like you,” Harry remarked, moving his hands straight to Louis’ arse. “Wanna come back to my hotel, babe?”

“Only if I can suck you off in here first.”

The cocky grin melted off Harry’s face and turned into an expression of awe.

“I _really_ like you.”

Louis smirked as he shuffled back, putting as much space between their bodies as he could manage without falling off the seat. He reached between their bodies and unzipped Harry’s flies with trembling hands. He flicked open his button. Harry wasn’t wearing underwear. His hard cock was just _there,_ as if it was waiting for him.

“Oh, so the rumours are true,” Louis cooed. “Harry Styles has a huge cock. Do you top with this thing, babe?”

“Yeah, usually. Depends on what mood I’m in,” Harry said on an exhale, sighing as Louis wrapped his fingers around his shaft.

“What about tonight? You gonna fuck me?”

“Yeah.” Harry squirmed under Louis, biting his lip and squeezing at Louis’ bum. “Fuck you hard.”

Louis felt his cock twitch in his jeans. It was straining against the tight material as it was, and he’d love to get some relief on it. His focus was on Harry for the time being, though. He moved back, standing to his feet momentarily before dropping to his knees, pulling Harry’s legs apart so he could shuffle in between them. He took a breath, trying to relax his throat as much as he could. He was going to have to prove himself now, give the best damn blow job he possibly could.

Grabbing hold of Harry’s cock once again, Louis pursed his lips and gently suckled at Harry’s tip before licking over it with the flat of his tongue. He started to twist his hand slowly, working the base with his fingers and the top with his lips and tongue. He sunk down a bit further, his mouth coming into contact with his hand, which quickly became covered in his own spit as he sped up, bobbing his head and licking wetly up and down Harry’s shaft. Harry was starting to whimper and Louis felt pleased with himself.

“Jesus, Louis. How’s your gag reflex?” Harry asked quickly.

Louis sunk down even further. He centered his focus, closing his eyes and relaxing his throat once again. His hands found Harry’s and he entwined their fingers and clutched at him, not only to ground and steady himself but to stop Harry from holding his head in place as he knew Harry probably wanted to.

He took a deep breath and then he was moving up and down on Harry’s cock, deep throating to the best of his ability and fighting off the urge to heave every five seconds. By the way Harry was moaning - anyone who was walking past would not have any question about what was happening - Louis knew he was doing well.

Harry’s breathing sped up to the point he sounded like he might pass out. Louis tried his best to concentrate as Harry called his name, along with a string of profanities and then he was coming, hot and fast down Louis’ throat. Louis moaned with exaggerated pleasure and Harry gave one last buck of his hips before going pliant. Louis untangled their fingers and slowly pulled away, Harry twitching when Louis’ tongue came into contact with his tip. Louis’ heart still thumped like crazy in his chest. He felt like he could fly.

He sat back on his heels and they stared at each other for a minute while they caught their breath. Louis fixed his fringe and Harry finally moved to zip up his jeans.

“You from around here?” Harry asked.

“Nah. Well, Doncaster. Not stupidly far.”

Harry squinted thoughtfully for a moment. He snapped out of it, sweeping his hair out of his face and sitting up straight.

“I’m playing Sheffield next week. I’ll put some front row seats under your name.”

Louis smiled wryly. “I didn’t suck your dick for concert tickets. I sucked your dick because you’re fit as fuck and I love sucking dick.”

Harry openly smirked. “Well, I was hoping you’d come and then join me for a drink afterwards.”

“I’m up for it,” Louis said, standing to his feet. The ground was hard and his knees were sore. “You’ve not fucked me yet, though, Harry. I might be a lousy fuck.”

“After that? I doubt it. But even if you are, I can’t just let go of someone who sucks dick like that.”

Harry stood up and, as they made to leave, Harry stopped Louis just inside of the curtain, roughly shoving him backwards. Louis hit the wall with a sharp thud and Harry pressed against him, mouth attaching to Louis’ neck, sucking and biting.

“Oh, God,” Louis murmured.

“I want you to know,” Harry mumbled against Louis’ neck as he slipped his hands under Louis’ top and ran them up and down his sides, causing Louis to shiver. “I’m not selfish. I know you probably think I am, and you probably expected me to be. But when I fuck you, you’ll be begging for more.”

Louis choked out a laugh. “Harry, you just kind of made it sound like you won’t satisfy me.”

Harry pulled his mouth away and frowned at Louis, pouting. “Oh. Yeah. Well, you know what I mean. Aw, you ruined it, now.”

“Aww. You’re gonna fuck me so good, baby. I know.” Louis pushed Harry’s curls aside to nibble on his earlobe. “I’m so hard for you.”

“You are. I am. You’re gonna feel me for days.”

“Can we just... go? Please?”

On the way back to Harry’s hotel, he pulled Louis’ cock out and started to wank him off. Louis spared a thought for the poor driver, but he did seem to be a regular driver of Harry’s, so Louis felt like he’d probably seen a lot worse.

They got into the underground car park of the hotel and quietly slipped into the lift up to the Penthouse.

“Fuck, I’m hard again already.” Harry palmed at himself through his jeans and leaned back against the wall of the lift. He turned his head to look at Louis. “You’re really fucking gorgeous.”

“So are you,” Louis said with a soft smile. He kicked himself. _Don’t make it sound romantic. You’ll never see him again. Say something to counteract it._ “You’re so fit. I wank watching your music videos.”

_Say something better._ Louis rolled his eyes at himself as Harry cackled loudly.

“Seriously? Oh, fuck. Now that is something I’d love to see.”

Louis grinned sheepishly as the lift doors opened and Harry pulled him towards the bedroom. It was all a blur as Harry tore off both of their clothes and fingered Louis open, the pleasure almost painful since he went as fast as he could. When he pulled three fingers from Louis’ arse and reached for more lube, Louis reached onto the floor to pull a condom from his jeans pocket.

Harry just stared at it as Louis quickly tore open the packet. Louis was worried that Harry would be arsey about it, but for Louis, it wasn’t up for debate, and he’d much rather just get on with it instead of trying to argue his case.

Luckily for Louis, Harry seemed too far gone to argue back. He just sat there on his heels, palmful of lube while Louis rolled the condom down onto his shaft. Louis foresaw a disagreement next time, but for now, Harry just lubed his sheathed cock up and pushed into Louis.

Harry was big. Louis knew, but he wasn’t prepared for just how big he was when it came down to it. He wasn’t one to complain, so he took a deep breath and tried to relax. Harry was very eager and bottomed out pretty quickly, and Louis felt dizzy with the painful stretch. Harry stilled for a minute, shifting his weight a bit before starting to move.

“Fuck,” Louis gasped. The burn was delicious to him. Harry grabbed Louis’ legs and pressed his knees down to his chest, and Louis couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He couldn’t wait to see James’ face when he told him.

And then he tried his best to stop thinking about James during sex.

Harry was in complete control and Louis couldn’t do much other than lay there and take it, vulnerable under Harry’s will as he pounded into him, hard and fast. Louis felt like the earth shifted, the sensations Harry was providing to him dizzying and entirely satisfying. Harry was starting to moan loudly and the sound encompassed Louis and he felt like he was going to lose his mind.

“Harry,” Louis croaked out. “Fuck, fuck.”

Harry slowed down a touch. He ground his hips firmly into Louis, pumping deeply into him and Louis cried out in ecstasy as Harry hit him from a new, exciting angle and he knew this was the best sex of his life.

“So fucking sexy,” Harry whined.

Louis knew that Harry had been right, he would definitely be feeling this for days. He clutched at Harry’s muscled, sweat-slick back as he felt his orgasm building, his every nerve ending sensitive to Harry’s touch. By instinct, he found himself reaching up and tangling his fingers into Harry’s hair, tugging firmly. Harry’s mouth fell open and his eyes rolled skyward as his hips stuttered, gurgling out a moan as he came. He pulsed into the condom inside of Louis and exhaled loudly as if he’d been holding his breath.

Louis was desperate, now, reaching for his own, neglected cock, but Harry beat him to it. He quickly and efficiently twisted his hand up and down until Louis came, spurting hotly over Harry’s large hand. Harry moved quickly, pulling out of Louis, discarding the condom and wiping his hand on a towel, draped across a chair. He threw himself down on the bed next to Louis, who was just laying there panting with his legs wide open.

“Fucking hell.” Harry was still panting as he turned his head to look at Louis. “So, you’re definitely not a lousy fuck.”

Louis was coming down and reality was setting in. Harry Styles just fucked him. And it was insanely good. Harry Styles would probably want to see him again, for his blow job skills if nothing else.

“You certainly live up to your reputation.” Louis grinned. “Above and beyond, if I’m honest.”

“Well, thank you.” Harry groaned slightly as he stood to his feet. “You want a drink before you go?”

“Mm, thanks,” Louis said, yawning slightly as he stood up, too. He looked around for his clothes. “Anything wet is fine.”

Harry cackled as he pulled open the fridge and peered inside. Louis found his boxers and pulled them up, feeling Harry’s eyes on him.

“You really are fit as fuck, Louis. How old are you?”

Louis turned around, pushing his fringe out of his eyes. It was damp with sweat and messy and Louis reckoned he was rocking the ‘just fucked’ look. “I’m 21.”

“Ooh, older man.” Harry stopped what he was doing to approach Louis. He placed his hands on Louis’ fleshy hips and pulled him against him. “I do hope I can see you again. There are a _lot_ of things I want to do to you.”

Louis’ poor dick twitched and he hoped Harry hadn’t felt it. The thought of Harry’s hands being all over his body again made Louis dizzy.

“Well, I’ll see you next week. Sheffield?”

“Mm,” Harry agreed, nodding. “Louis, I assume you don’t need to be told, but I have to tell you anyway that this needs to be kept quiet. I have to say this to everybody, I don’t want you to think I’m threatening you or anything, but if it gets out…”

“I know. You don’t have to worry.” Louis slipped his fingers in the tangled curls at the nape of Harry’s neck. He tugged slightly and Harry gasped. “You can trust me.”

“Yeah, well.” Harry smiled softly. “I’ve heard that one before.”

Louis frowned sympathetically. “Mm, I bet.”

Harry gave Louis’ hip one last squeeze before he returned to the fridge. Louis continued to dress, regretting such tight jeans now that he had to enclose his dick in them again. Still, his lucky jeans had never failed him.

“Actually, I think I’ll leave the drink,” Louis said, pulling on his sheer black top. “I need to get off.”

“Alright.”

Louis approached the desk. There was a small pad of hotel branded memo paper sitting in the corner, branded pen laying next to it. Louis picked it up and scribbled his number down.

“If you get any… urges,” Louis said, ripping the sheet of paper off. “Give me a call.”

Harry grinned as Louis pressed the paper into his palm. Grabbing his wrist, Louis pressed his mouth to Harry’s and devoured him in a wet, filthy, eager kiss. He pulled away suddenly, turning towards the door.

“Bye!”

Louis exited quickly and as soon as he was in the lift, he took a deep breath. Walking away from Harry was fucking difficult, but Louis knew he’d played it just perfect. He was careful not to overstay his welcome, making Harry think he had other things to do and with that kiss, he knew he’d left him wanting more.

Louis chewed his lip and smiled.

-

“A gentleman never tells.”

James snorted so loudly that it alarmed Louis. “Please.”

Louis smirked. “Fine. Let’s just say… my plan worked.”

“You didn’t shag him, did you?”

Louis placed his feet on the coffee table and shrugged, smug look on his face. The entire world wanted to fuck Harry Styles, and he’d done it. He’d been one with him. He’d swallowed his come.

“He’s a very energetic lover.”

“Oh my God.” James shook his head. “Well, I hope it was worth me putting my job on the line.”

“It was. It so was! James, I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am.”

“Can’t believe I risked my job so you could get laid.”

Louis reached over to squeeze James’ cheeks. “You did it because you love me!”

“Yeah, whatever. You owe me. Like, big time.”

“I know, I know.” Louis sighed happily. “Hey, guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m seeing him again next week. Front row.”

-

Louis felt nervous as he approached the box office of the arena. He hadn’t heard from Harry and he assumed his ticket would be waiting, but what if Harry had forgotten? Changed his mind? Didn’t remember Louis’ name?

None of that happened, obviously. Louis was issued his ticket and he clutched it, staring at the front row seat number. This was real. He’d fucked Harry Styles and here was his front row ticket to prove it.

Louis didn’t know what was supposed to happen after the show, but he took his seat and waited for the support act to come on. He was sitting, slumped and texting when a security guard stopped in front of him, other side of the barrier. _Shit._ Was he about to be thrown out? He didn’t know why he would, but he felt paranoid.

“Are you Louis?”

Louis swallowed, his heart pounding. “Um, yes.”

“Come with me.”

The security guard indicated to the side of the stage and Louis made his way around, presumably making his way to a break in the barrier. By the time he got to stage right, the security guard was waiting for him.

“This way.”

Louis was led backstage through winding corridors and, when he asked, the security guard just said, ‘You’ve been requested’. A thrill shot through Louis at that and, before long, he was deposited in front of Harry’s dressing room, knocking on the door.

“Louis.” Harry smirked. “Hi.”

He stood aside and Louis walked in. The room was huge, walls draped with black - which felt a bit weird - and there were clothes littering the floor. Louis wondered if they were all Harry’s, or if someone else had been here.

“So, I was summoned.”

“Yeah, well. Look. I’m a bit nervous for this show and I need to get my tension out.” Louis’ mouth twitched into a smile as Harry started to unbuckle his belt. “I was hoping you were already here.”

Louis closed the gap between them, batting Harry’s hands away and taking over the unzipping of his jeans. He made a scene of thudding down to his knees, pulling Harry’s jeans and boxers down to his thighs. He licked his lips, looking up to Harry and tilting his head.

“Anything for you, darling.”

The relay speaker in the dressing room informed them that Harry’s support act had taken to the stage, but the only thing Louis was interested in was making Harry feel good. He could physically feel the tension in Harry’s body, could feel it slowly leaving him as he sucked him off, pulling out all the stops to pleasure Harry in the best possible way. Harry groaned as Louis suckled at his tip, before replacing his mouth with his hand as he dipped his head to mouth over Harry’s balls. He sucked them into his mouth and Harry gasped, sounding strangled and very close to orgasm.

“So good, so fucking good, baby,” Harry whined as Louis popped his spit-slick balls from his mouth and took his cock in once again. Harry looked down on him, long curls framing his face. He thumbed over Louis’ hollowed cheek. “Can I come on your face? When I’m ready?”

Louis bobbed his head, sinking down further so that Harry’s tip nudged at the back of his throat. He stared up at Harry, hoping he was conveying his approval. Harry was still looking at him in question, so Louis nodded his head slightly. He sped up, feeling fucking hard in his jeans as spit started to drip down his chin. Harry was starting to whine loudly and Louis felt him pushing him away. Louis pulled off, swept his fringe out of his face and stared up at Harry expectantly.

Harry grabbed his cock and quickly tugged. Louis closed his eyes and opened his mouth slightly and then Harry was splashing hot come onto his face, cheeks and eyelids coated and Louis opened his eyes just as Harry dropped to his knees to face him.

“Look at that gorgeous face,” Harry whispered. “Can I take a photo?”

“Yes, baby.”

Harry shuffled around, grabbing his phone from the sofa behind him. Louis blinked carefully, drops of come on his eyelashes and sticking to his skin.

“Close your eyes.”

Louis obeyed and a few seconds later he felt Harry kiss him hotly on the mouth before moving to his cheeks, cleaning up his face before Louis felt Harry’s lips on his eyelids.

“Thank you,” Harry murmured. He stood to his feet and held a hand out for Louis. “You need anything? Help yourself to a drink from the fridge.”

“Thanks.”

“So, I’d love you to come to my hotel tonight. I’m having a…” Harry shrugged, pouting thoughtfully. “Party.”

“A party?” Louis smirked. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

Louis grabbed a beer from Harry’s fridge before Harry summoned security to escort Louis back to his seat. Once there, Louis couldn’t stop smirking, knowing he was surrounded by Harry’s fans and they had no idea that Harry had just come on his face. He sipped his beer, feeling very pleased with himself.

-

During Harry’s encore, an unsaved number texted Louis a hotel name and a room number. Louis headed there straight after the show, and…

Well. He didn’t know where to look, to be quite honest. Louis considered himself as someone who’d try anything once, and suffice to say, he wasn’t sure orgies were for him. There were people chatting and there were people kissing and there were people touching each other. Louis had a chat with a cute man, who moved on after a few minutes when he realised Louis wasn’t exactly putting out. Louis just wasn’t that interested in anyone aside from Harry, but Harry was preoccupied most of the time, mostly kissing or chatting up men while women fought for his attention. He gave one of the women a half-hearted kiss and grope before he turned his attention to Louis.

“Hey,” Harry said quietly, striding over. “Not joining in on the fun?”

“I just, um…” Louis cleared his throat. “Never really done this sort of thing before.”

Harry smiled, taking Louis’ hand. “You should’ve said. Come with me.”

Harry led Louis over to a corner and started to undress him. Louis could feel eyes on him, people stopping what they were doing to watch. Louis felt a little uneasy, but part of him felt proud that Harry’s attention was on him.

“Relax, baby,” Harry whispered, tugging Louis’ jeans and underwear down. Okay, now Louis felt really fucking exposed. “I’ll take care of you.”

Harry kissed Louis as he undressed himself. Once he was naked, he flipped Louis around and pressed his erection into the crack of Louis’ arse. Louis let out a strangled moan and tried to lose himself in the feeling, tried to ignore the dozen or so other people in the room.

“Joe,” Harry said, and Louis was confused for a split second before he saw someone walking towards them. Joe was gorgeous, definitely someone Louis would have been interested in under usual circumstances. “Joe, this is one of my new boys, Louis.”

“Hi, Louis.”

Louis had to admit, being sandwiched between Joe and Harry was delightful. Harry continued to thrust into his crack, moaning languidly in his ear as Joe kissed Louis. Louis felt a sort of confused arousal as Joe dropped to his knees and Harry attached his mouth to his neck.

Louis was helpless as Joe took him in and sucked and Harry reached around to hold Joe’s head in place. He thrust into Louis, which in turn thrust Louis into Joe’s mouth. Louis moaned loudly, no longer caring if people were looking at him. He felt on top of the world.

“Doing so well, baby,” Harry murmured, voice strained and breathy. “Feel nice?”

“Really good. Fuck.”

“You look gorgeous like this. Watching someone suck you off is so hot, baby.”

“Glad you’re watching, Harry.” Louis let out a tense whine. “Fuck, gonna come.”

“Go on, Louis. Joe lives off swallowing come.”

Joe agreed by slurping at the head of Louis’ cock and a few seconds later Louis came, pumping hotly into Joe’s mouth and leaning back into Harry, arse cheeks clenching around his cock.

“Good boy,” Harry cooed in Louis’ ear. “You wanna suck me off while I sort out Joe? You could suck us both off if you want.”

Sucking off Harry whilst Harry was sucking Joe off was weird, to say the least, and Louis wasn’t sure it was in a good way. Louis had always had a jealous streak, and Harry having a cock in his mouth that wasn’t Louis’ just wouldn’t do. Maybe he should’ve done both of them himself after all, but the delicious edge of his orgasm was still muddying his mind.

Afterwards, Louis pulled his boxers back on and sat on the bed, watching as Harry snorted a line of coke. He offered some to Louis, who politely declined.

“Not my thing at all, love,” he told him.

Louis was surprised to see that Ed Sheeran had turned up at some point. Ed Sheeran was a singer, just as famous as Harry and not someone who Louis was expecting to see. He joined Harry for a line before sitting in the corner and staying fully clothed, watching the antics unfold. That was basically what Louis was doing, now. Joe had been sitting next to him for a while and shared a spliff with him, but now Louis was sleepy and he pulled himself to his feet and looked for his clothes.

“It was lovely to meet you,” Louis told Joe as he hazily tried to locate his jeans. “You’re good at giving head.”

“See you soon, mate.” Joe took a drag from the spliff and winked at Louis. “If I’m lucky.”

Louis found his clothes as well as Harry.

“I’m off, darling. Thanks for inviting me. It was an experience.”

“Are you going?!” Harry asked, eyes wild. “Don’t go. Well, if you have to. I’ll miss you. Hey! That number you got a text from earlier was Liam’s. If you’re ever around, let him know. He handles my intimate affairs.” Harry was grinning stupidly. “And when I’m in the area and need the best blow job in the world, we’ll contact you.”

Louis smirked and kissed him on the cheek before heading for the door.

-

Louis didn’t see Harry for a couple of months after that. He thought about him constantly, though. He needed to keep his cool, needed to show Harry he was chill and trustworthy. Still, he had to fight the urge to text Liam to see how Harry was, had to fight the urge to spontaneously get on a plane to wherever Harry happened to be doing a show that night.

Louis was in a lecture one dreary Monday when his phone vibrated against his leg.

_‘Free tonight? H is home and wants to see you. Regards, Liam’_

Louis’ dick twitched, which was ridiculous. He tried his best to stifle a smile as he replied that he was free, and a text came through with the name of a hotel, a room number, and a time. Louis hoped it would be a one-on-one situation. He wanted Harry to himself today.

He headed home after his lecture, showering thoroughly and carefully styling his hair. He forewent shaving, and just before he left, he grabbed a strip of condoms and pushed them into his pocket.

Well, you can’t be too safe.

When he arrived at the hotel, he was relieved to discover Harry was alone in his room. Harry bit his lip, smiling as he stood aside to let Louis in.

Louis realised that Harry was wearing a floral patterned shirt, socks, and nothing else. His half-hard cock was peeking out from under the shirt and Louis grinned.

“Had company before I got here?”

“Hm?” Harry looked down at his state of undress and grinned. “Oh. No. I just… I was waiting for you and I was so horny, I almost couldn’t wait.”

Louis found himself letting out a tiny moan. Harry’s eyes were dark, mouth smiling slightly but no trace of amusement on his face. Louis found his hand flying to his jeans to undress himself as Harry folded his arms, watching.

“Forgot how sexy you are.” Harry licked his lips. “Touch yourself for me.”

Louis quickly discarded the rest of his clothes and grabbed hold of his cock. He gasped as he started to move his hand up and down his shaft slowly, the relief overwhelming. Harry watched Louis hungrily as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, fingers digging into his thighs. Louis started to slowly walk towards him, stopping just within arm’s reach.

Louis’ heart was beating so hard. Harry was watching him as if in a trance, wide eyes tracking the movement of Louis’ hand as it tugged and twisted. Harry finally snapped out of it, eyes staying on Louis’ hand but he started to slowly unbutton his own shirt. He shucked it off of his shoulders and finally tore his eyes away from Louis as he laid back and shuffled up the bed. His cock was standing away from his body and, aside from a very slight squirming, he was just lying, waiting.

Louis wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Should he ask? He felt like it would break the tension, ruin the atmosphere. He decided to take matters into his own hands and just… use his initiative.

He climbed onto the bed and straddled Harry’s hips. Harry’s fingers were teasing his own nipples and he started slightly as Louis sat down, Harry’s cock pressing into his arse.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Louis confessed. “About you fucking me.”

Harry groaned and bucked his hips. “Yeah?”

“You felt so fucking incredible inside of me.” Louis whined, hanging his head as he thumbed over his tip. “Nobody’s ever fucked me so good, baby.”

Harry looked very pleased at that, darkened eyes twinkling. He let go of his nipples in favour of grabbing hold of Louis’ hips and rocking him back and forth where he was nestled against Harry’s cock.

“Wanna ride me, Lou?” Harry bucked his hips again for emphasis. “Just like this?”

“Yes, fuck. Please?” Louis placed his palms on Harry’s chest, fingering at his nipples.

Harry reached under his pillow and handed Louis a bottle of lube. Louis cocked an eyebrow and smirked as he pumped some onto his fingers, quickly rubbing them together before reaching back to press against his own hole.

As he fingered himself open, he watched as Harry enjoyed every second. Harry was rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ thighs and when Louis made his to the third finger, his arm was cramping and Harry was panting. Louis slid his fingers out of his own hole and climbed off of Harry.

“Where you going?” Harry whined loudly. Louis pulled a condom from his jeans pocket and held it up. “Aw, Louis. Come on. Don’t you wanna feel me? I mean like, _properly_ feel me?”

Louis straddled Harry at the knees, holding the condom and raising his eyebrows.

“Sorry, darling. I don’t fuck bareback.” Louis shrugged. “It’s condom or no sex.”

Harry’s expression was… curious. Louis had the feeling that Harry wasn’t used to being told no, wasn’t used to his groupies arguing back. He wasn’t used to Louis.

“It’d feel _so good,_ Louis. Your walls against my cock.”

“I can suck you off?” Louis offered. “Or give you a hand job. But I don’t fuck without a condom. Your decision.”

Harry looked up at Louis, and Louis licked his lips and smiled. Harry rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.

“Alright, on it goes. Only because I know you’re worth it.”

“Yes, I am.” Louis gave him a small smile. He’d make it worth his while. He ripped open the condom packet and carefully rolled it on. Harry groaned at the contact. Louis added a little more lube and lifted himself up to shuffle himself forward. He leaned down to kiss Harry before reaching behind himself to guide Harry in.

He sunk down on Harry’s cock as slowly as he could. The guys Louis had hooked up with since seeing Harry last really had nothing on him. He was so sexy and open, comfortably confident in his sexual prowess, and he was incredibly gifted. Louis finally sat flush against Harry’s lap and he stilled his movements to let his body adjust, taking deep breaths.

“You’ve put me in a bit of power here,” Louis said, amused.

“That’s where you deserve to be,” Harry replied, as airily as he could manage. “Sitting on a throne.”

Louis tilted his head and furrowed his brow as he started to move his hips slowly. Harry licked his lips, hands going straight to Louis’ hips.

“Did you just call your dick a throne, Harry?”

“Mm.” Harry’s eyes were fixated on Louis’ hips as they moved, speeding up now that he was comfortable. More than comfortable. As it turned out, this position was incredibly satisfying to Louis. “If my dick is a throne, I reckon you’re the King.”

Louis threw his head back and laughed delightedly. He started to move at a rapid pace, determined to show Harry what he could do when given control. He leaned back, placing his hands behind him and started to grind, dick bobbing back and forth. Harry grabbed hold of it in his left hand, running his right hand up Louis’ torso appreciatively.

“Fuck, Louis. You’re amazing.” Harry dragged his eyes up and down Louis’ body, absently lifting his hips in time with Louis’ movements.

“You are,” Louis said breathlessly. “You’re so big, baby. You fill me up so good.”

Harry was tense from his building orgasm, but the ghost of a smirk passed across his face. He laboriously pulled himself up, placing his hands behind him on the bed. He thrust up into Louis with as much gusto as he could, and suddenly Louis was seeing stars. Harry was nudging at his prostate over and over, and Louis wrapped his hand around his own cock, squeezing and tugging and then he was coming. Harry choked out an appreciative groan as Louis whined through his orgasm, bouncing erratically on Harry’s cock. He slowed before exhaling heavily.

“Shit.” Louis sighed, running his hands over Harry’s chest, unintentionally smearing small amounts of come down his skin. He took a breath and then he started to move again, lifting himself off of Harry’s cock and slamming back down, wincing as he bounced. He was sensitive, so sensitive, and Harry’s cock was still nudging right at his prostate.

“Oh my God. Oh my God.” Harry was panting loudly, lifting himself up as best he could. “Wanna come.”

“Come, baby.” Louis leaned forward to kiss Harry, using one hand to tweak at Harry’s nipple. He groaned loudly against Louis’ mouth. “Come in my arse.”

Harry threw his head back, thrusting up once and shouting profanities before Louis could feel him start to pulse inside of him. Only then did Harry finally collapse flat on the bed. Louis reached behind himself, holding the condom in place as he pulled off. He was sore, but he reckoned it was worth it as he laid down next to Harry.

“Louis,” Harry said, sounding serious. “You’re just… Yeah. You’re good.”

Louis let out a small laugh. “Thanks. As are you.”

Harry turned to look at him. “You like meeting up with me?”

“Obviously.” Louis grinned. “Definitely.”

“Good. I like you.” Harry nosed at Louis’ shoulder before kissing it. “I wanna keep you around.”

“I thought I _was_ around.”

“Mm. Yeah. But I think you’re gonna become a firm favourite of mine. A regular.”

A tiny thrill shot through Louis at this. Harry could fuck anyone in this world, but he had just fucked Louis. _And_ he was one of Harry’s favourites. Louis was somewhat confident in his abilities, but the rush he got from one of the biggest stars in the world telling him he was a good fuck was incomparable.

“Hey,” Harry said quietly. “Remember that party I had?”

“You mean your orgy?” Louis smirked. “I remember.”

“Oh, orgy makes it sound so sordid!” Harry laughed, eyes twinkling. “Free love, and all that.”

“If you say so, babe.”

“Did you like it?”

Louis pouted thoughtfully. “It felt a bit odd. I felt a bit self-conscious, if I’m honest.” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “Which _never_ happens!”

“Only because you were the sexiest man in that room.” Harry was looking at him with a dark, intense stare. “Everyone wanted to fuck you.”

“Oh, that’s not true.”

“Well, Joe liked you.” Harry had moved closer, his nose nudging at Louis’ neck. “Really liked you. Did you like Joe?”

“Yeah. God, that whole thing was so hot.”

“What did you like, baby?” Harry cooed. “People watching? Two of us on you?”

Harry was grazing the pads of his fingers over Louis’ nipple and it was making him feel weak. His poor, spent dick twitched feebly. Louis tried to focus on that night, trying to remember how he felt.

“People watching felt… I was really, like, proud? Because of all the people in the room, you were with me.”

“Mm, go on.”

“But, fuck. Both of you on me was incredible. And when you held Joe’s head? It was so hot.”

“You wanna come to more parties?”

Louis frowned. “I don’t think they were my thing, to be honest.”

“That’s okay.” Harry kissed his temple. “You don’t have to.”

“Thank you.” Louis smiled. “I’m happy to do _anything_ with you, but group sex is not for me.”

“Anything, huh?” Harry giggled softly. “Okay. But how would you feel about inviting Joe over one day?”

“I’d like that.”

-

Louis knocked on the hotel room door. Joe opened it and Harry was nowhere to be seen.

“He’ll be here soon,” Joe said as Louis gazed around the room. “He must be showering at the venue.”

Louis turned to smile politely, and was struck by how good looking Joe was. He hadn’t really noticed through his nerves last time. He was a couple of inches taller than Louis, brown hair sticking up and he had huge, kind eyes. Louis would most definitely have attempted to work his magic on Joe if he’d found him in a club.

Joe approached him and slipped a hand around the back of his neck.

“You seem a bit nervous.”

“Maybe a bit,” Louis confessed. “Is there any kind of… what does he like to do?”

“Well.” Joe moved his fingers to Louis’ shirt buttons and started to undo them. “He’ll really like it if we start without him. If we’re already doing stuff when he gets here. He said once it feels like watching porn and then joining in.”

“Alright.”

Louis let Joe begin to kiss and undress him. Louis, in turn, helped to undress Joe and, once they were both naked, they laid down on the bed and continued to kiss. Joe’s mouth was hot and eager, but also relaxed and Louis felt any residual nerves begin to melt away.

Joe pulled him closer and their cocks knocked together. Louis was dizzy with excitement. His arousal was climbing as every second passed and the thought that Harry would come in any second drove him crazy. It was almost like a fear of getting caught. By the time Harry arrived, Joe had slipped his hand around Louis’ cock and he was slowly tugging him off.

“Oh, my God,” Harry breathed, ripping his clothes off as fast as he could. “Look at the two of you.”

“You took your time,” Louis said lightly, and Joe grinned. “Not sure we even need you, to be honest, babe.”

“Is that so?” Harry smirked and approached the bed. Louis rolled over onto his back and gazed up at him. Harry stood over him, hands on his hips and dick standing hard and proud in front of him. Joe’s hand was still wrapped around Louis’ shaft. “You two having fun then?”

Louis bit his bottom lip and bucked up into Joe’s hand, letting out an exaggerated groan. Harry dropped his hands from his hips, looking a bit like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Look,” Louis said with a sigh. He turned onto his side, shuffling backwards into Joe. Joe stroked over Louis’ thigh as Louis patted the space on the bed. “I guess you can join in.”

Harry dropped to the bed and wriggled in close to Louis, pressing their bodies together and kissing him hungrily. Louis immediately became completely absorbed in Harry, barely noticing as Joe slipped out of the bed behind him and rounded to the other side, laying in the small space behind Harry.

Joe was kissing over Harry’s shoulders and back, rutting against his arse as Harry continued to kiss Louis, tongue dancing and flicking inside his mouth. Harry seemed in his absolute element as he let out little gasps and moans.

“What a welcome home,” Harry murmured against Louis’ mouth. “You two do spoil me.”

Joe let out a groan in Harry’s ear, nibbling and licking over his lobe. Harry was wriggling between their bodies, breathing heavily as his hands groped Louis’ arse.

“Wanna fuck you,” he said quietly in Louis’ ear. “Turn around.”

Louis flipped over, moving forward slightly to make more room for Joe. Harry closed the space, and Louis let out a surprised gasp when he felt a lube-slick finger slip between his cheeks and press at his hole. Harry pressed his finger in and in no time at all he pushed a second in, then a third.

The room smelt of sweat and sex, and the wet sound of Harry fingering Louis mingled with the moans filling the air. Harry pulled his fingers out with a grunt, and then his cock was nudging at Louis’ hole.

“Harry.” Louis found himself arching into the contact even though he was objecting to it. “Harry.”

“Oh.” Harry pulled away. “Joe. Get a condom.”

“Huh?” Joe asked, confused and a little incredulous. “Condom? From _where?”_

“My jeans,” Louis croaked out, still rutting back against Harry’s cock.

Joe waddled over, leaning down to pick a condom from Louis’ jean pocket. He hurried back to the bed, handing Harry the condom. He quickly rolled it on and thrust into Louis, making him gasp.

“Fuck.”

“Sorry,” Harry said with a slight laugh. “Joe, fuck me.”

Harry stilled for a moment, moaning quietly, and Louis realised Joe was pushing into Harry. Harry let out a whimper and started to thrust into Louis shallowly. He grabbed hold of Louis’ cock, loosely circling it.

“Fuck,” Harry shouted. “Both feel so fucking good.”

Louis tried his best to thrust back as he could hear Joe murmuring to Harry. Their bodies were a mess of bumping movement before they found a rhythm, Harry taking most of the control as he thrust forward into Louis and back into Joe. Louis focused his eyes down on where his forward thrusts pushed his cock through Harry’s loose hand.

“I need…” Harry said before huffing. “Joe, pull out.”

Joe did as he was told without question. Harry started to pull out of Louis.

“Hold the base,” Louis panted.

“I know,” Harry replied shortly.

“Well, you don’t use them, do you?”

Harry held the base of the condom and pulled out of Louis. “On your knees.”

Louis flipped onto his front and got up onto his knees, sticking his arse in the air. Harry landed a sharp smack on it before he ran his hands over it appreciatively. He pushed back in, bracing himself with his palms on Louis’ shoulders. Louis felt the weight increase and turned his head to see Joe pushing into Harry.

“This okay?” Harry murmured to Louis. “Not too heavy?”

“It’s fine.” Louis hung his head between his arms as Joe started to move, pushing Harry into Louis and when he sped up, hot, sweaty bodies knocked into each other over and over.

“I’m gonna…” Harry moaned, digging his fingers into Louis’ shoulders. “Gonna come. Oh, God.”

Joe sped up to an absolute punishing pace, nearly knocking them all off kilter, but Harry cried out and started to come, moaning out profanities and thrusting into Louis desperately. A weight was lifted and Joe was gone, and Harry was slowing down and then pulling out of Louis.

Louis flipped onto his back and immediately grabbed hold of his dick, moving his hand. Harry was over by the window, removing the condom as he watched Joe approaching the bed again. He was wearing a condom, slicking himself up with lube as he climbed onto the bed and kneeled between Louis’ legs.

“Can I-?”

Louis nodded quickly and Joe pushed into him. He hooked his arms under Louis’ knees and quickly pounded into him, probably trying to reach orgasm as quickly as possible. Louis turned his head to look at Harry.

Harry was staring at him. Lips parted, cock in hand. Louis kept eye contact as Joe fucked him up the bed, his head hitting the headboard. Harry suddenly crossed the room and got onto the bed, laid down next to Louis and reached between their bodies to grab Louis’ cock. He tugged a few times and then Louis was coming with a shout. His hole clenched and fluttered around Joe’s cock and, as Harry kissed Louis, Joe came. He let out an almighty groan before quickly pulling out and collapsing flat on the bed.

“Well,” Joe said, panting.

“Well done, lads.” Harry yawned. “A job well done.”

Louis giggled softly, turning to smirk at Harry.

Louis must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, the room was freezing and he was shivering. Harry and Joe were asleep either side of him. He groaned and sat up, wincing slightly at the sensation in his bum.

He shuffled down to the end of the bed and climbed off, going for a wee. When he returned, Joe was awake and sitting up.

“Hiya.”

“Hiya,” Louis whispered. He started to pick his clothes up, pulling on his boxers and frowning as he searched for his socks.

“You going?”

Louis shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Hey.” Joe moved into the middle of the bed and patted the space he’d made. Louis crossed the room and sat down next to him. “How long have you been seeing Harry?”

“Not long.” Louis looked over at Harry, who was snoring softly. “Few months? Why?”

“The way you talk to him made me laugh.”

Louis frowned. “In what way?”

“The way you teased him when he came in.” Joe shrugged. “And the fact you made him wear a condom. No one does that. No one speaks to him the way you do.”

“He’s a nice guy though, no?” Louis’ frown deepened. “I’ve always been like that with him and he hasn’t seemed to mind.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s a great guy. It’s not like he doesn’t let people speak to him in that way, it’s just… I guess his groupies are a bit too passive.”

“You’re not that passive.”

“I’m not a groupie,” Joe said. Louis cocked an eyebrow. “I’m a friend of a friend.”

“Oh.”

“He likes you. And I think it’s good for him to have someone like you around.”

-

Louis couldn’t concentrate during his lecture, nor when he went to the coffee shop to study. He absently tapped his pen on his book, staring off into space and thinking about Harry. Harry naked. Harry rutting against his arse. Harry’s mouth.

He started to get a semi and it jerked him out of his daze. He drained his cup of coffee, willing his dick to behave as he got up to fetch another. As he waited, he looked around the place. There were a group of girls sitting by the counter and he raised an eyebrow when he heard Harry’s name.

“His new song is a banger.”

“He’s _so_ fit.”

Louis smirked to himself. Yes. Yes he was.

“Excuse me,” a third voice interjected. “Harry Styles is a dick.”

Louis widened his eyes in surprise before scoffing quietly.

“Shut up, Delia.”

“He is. He shags anything with a pulse. He uses girls and then ditches them. He’s gross.”

Louis took a deep breath, composing himself so he didn’t turn around and flip the table or anything like that. Like she’d know what she was talking about. What kind of idiot believes everything they read in the papers anyway?

He snatched his coffee away and returned to his table to fall back into a daydream about how ungross Harry was. How delicious and skilled he was in bed.

He really needed to focus on reading this chapter. He couldn’t afford to get distracted, but all he kept thinking about was when he might see Harry next. Louis had been very sexually active since before uni, but fucking the most famous rock star in the world really was the pinnacle of anything he’d ever done. He also really needed it to not distract him.

He finally started to read his chapter, getting to the end of the current page before his phone buzzed with an Instagram notification from Harry. It was a video of him lifting weights, topless, and Louis slammed his book shut. Studying clearly just wasn’t meant to be today.

Louis took a walk to clear his head. It was pretty windy and he squinted to keep his eyes safe from the debris that the breeze was whipping up. His hair would be a lost cause by the time he arrived home, which was fine. At this rate, he’d be spending the rest of the day locked in his room with only his hand and Harry’s Instagram for company.

James was snoring on the sofa when Louis got home, so he grabbed a beer and headed into his room. He gave his mum a quick phone call, promising to visit her sometime next week (he was reluctant to make solid plans in case Harry contacted him), and then opened his textbook. It was in vain, he knew, so he pushed his hand down into his jeans and promptly fell asleep.

-

Harry did a secret show down in London and invited Louis at the last minute. Louis expected to see some of the other groupies there, but he didn’t. As he headed to the afterparty, he felt fairly confident he’d be getting lucky tonight.

Harry was, once again, surrounded by people when Louis found him.

“Hi, babe,” Harry said, embracing Louis and kissed him on the cheek. “Was I okay?”

“You were incredible.” Louis tilted his head and smiled. “You’re so sexy when you perform.”

Harry gave him a small smile which, while cordial, didn’t feel too genuine. Louis tried not to take it personally.

“Want a drink?” Harry nodded over to the bar. “Come on.”

Louis followed him over to the bar and they stood side by side, leaning. “So, who were the people you were with? I don’t recognise anyone.”

“Socialites. Randoms.” Harry shrugged. “Don’t really know. Don’t care.”

“Oh.”

“They’re all just people who want something from me.” Harry frowned, shaking his head. “It’s not a night out for me without a hanger-on or two. You never get used to that.”

Louis’ hand twitched with the need to reach out and touch Harry, to reassure him. He stifled the urge. Harry ordered them some drinks and they stayed at the bar, Harry seeming content to be in Louis’ company.

“Will you come back with me tonight?” Harry asked, flexing his fingers against the bar. “I need a release.”

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Great. Well, anyway. We should dance.”

They grabbed their drinks and headed back to the dance floor. As usual, people fought for Harry’s attention but, to Louis’ delight, Harry only had eyes for him. They danced until they finished their drinks and Harry pulled Louis towards the toilets.

“A public toilet, Harry?” Louis giggled. “Really?”

They got into the toilets and Harry laughed, shaking his head.

“I didn’t bring you in here for that.” He pushed at all of the cubicle doors, finding them empty. “I just need a fuckin’ hit.”

Louis stood by the door, guarding as Harry sniffed a line of coke from the lid of the toilet seat. He turned to look at Louis, holding out the rolled up bank note in invitation.

“Nah, love. I told you before. Not my thing.”

“Not even one line?” Harry didn’t sound annoyed or impatient, just curious. “Not even just a little party pick-up?”

“Alcohol and weed is enough for me.” Louis shrugged with a small grin. “Sorry if I’m a killjoy.”

“Not at all!” Harry approached him, giving his hip a quick, sharp squeeze. “Let’s go back out and party!”

Harry was energised and it was catching. Louis matched his enthusiasm and they partied for an hour, Harry heading back to the toilets at one point for a second line and begging Louis not to let him take any more. Harry eventually decided he wanted to go back to his hotel, so Louis accompanied him. He was quiet during the car ride, and Louis assumed he was coming down. He was sort of huddled in on himself, knee shaking and he seemed a bit jumpy. When they got to the hotel, Harry dashed into the lift and Louis had to jog to catch up with him.

“Seriously.” Harry sighed. “Do not let me take any more.”

“Alright.”

“Good.” Harry nodded. “Thanks.”

They got into the room and Harry sat on the bed, slightly slumped as he pulled his boots off. He sighed and laid back on the bed, putting his hands on his face.

“You alright?” Louis asked. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. As he made his way back to the bed, Harry had turned his head to watch him. “Drink some water, love.”

“Thank you.” Harry took the water bottle and smiled softly. “Come here.”

Louis stood over Harry, smiling down at him. He seemed tense. He was on a come down for sure, but he’d seemed tense before he’d taken anything, back when Louis first saw him at the party.

“Come _here,”_ Harry repeated, still laying on the bed, water bottle in one hand and the other hand grazing over his own clothed torso. “You’re the King. So sit on your throne.”

Louis laughed loudly, groaning in embarrassment. He kicked his own shoes off and straddled Harry’s hips, making himself comfortable as Harry sighed contentedly.

“Louis?” Harry chewed at his bottom lip. “Will you…”

Louis frowned as Harry trailed off. “What do you need?”

“I need…” Harry closed his eyes. “Do you think you could fuck me?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah. Anything you need, babe.”

“Is that okay?” Harry asked. “I just… sometimes I need someone else to take over and…”

“Hey.” Louis leaned down to kiss him. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

Harry smiled. “You’re awesome.”

Louis unbuttoned his shirt, dropping it to the floor before working on Harry’s. He pulled Harry’s shirt aside and ran his palms down his chest.

“You got an idea of what you want?”

Harry smirked, moving to unbutton Louis’ jeans. “Slow? Deep. Dirty.”

Louis cocked an eyebrow. “Not that you’ve thought about it, or anything.”

“Fuck. Of course I have.” Harry grinned. “I just feel like I need something intimate tonight. That’s why I brought you down.”

“You picked me specifically?”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded. “Come on. Take your clothes off.”

Louis tucked away the right to dwell on that later. For now, he stood to his feet and, after noticing the rapt attention Harry had on his movements, he pulled his jeans and underwear down slowly, pushing them off of his feet. He stood back up straight and slowly dragged his hand over his dick.

“You relax, Harry.” Louis tilted his head and smiled. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”

Harry nodded with a smile and propped his upper body up on his elbows. Louis fell to his knees and shuffled between Harry’s legs, grabbed hold of his jeans and pulled them down with Harry lifting himself in assistance. He got them off and lifted Harry’s legs onto his shoulders.

“Gorgeous boy,” Louis murmured and started to kiss Harry’s calf. Harry’s legs tightened around Louis’ head as he moved up, sucking at his thigh. “This okay?”

“Yes, yes.”

“If I mark you?”

“It’s okay.”

Louis sucked and mouthed at Harry’s flesh before moving further still. He reached up to pull Harry closer and nudged his nose against the bulge between Harry’s legs, the thin material of his boxer shorts starting to moisten with precome. Louis kissed it before slipping his fingertips underneath the waistband and pulling his boxers down.

He took Harry in his hand, kissing his shaft before licking at the tip. Harry just whimpered, hands all over his own torso. Louis looked up and regarded him.

“Babe?” Louis smiled sweetly. “Drink some water.”

“Uh… wha?”

“Drink half that bottle I gave you, and I’ll blow you.”

Harry whined. He grabbed the bottle of water, twisted the lid off, and sloppily chugged it, dribbling it down his neck and chest. He held up the bottle to show Louis he’d drank just under half.

“Hm, okay.” Louis winked. “Good enough.”

Louis took him into his mouth, flattening his wet tongue against the underside of Harry’s cock. Harry cried out, squeezing his legs closed around Louis’ head again. Louis continued to work over it until Harry was writhing, hips bucking desperately. Louis pulled off and stood to his feet.

“Louis!” Harry whined.

“Shh, you’re alright. I’m gonna fuck you, yeah? Need to open you up first. Got any lube?”

“Um… uh… bathroom. Washbag.”

Louis gave a sharp slap to Harry’s thigh. “Now, what’s it doing all the way in there?”

“I-  I don’t know.” Harry huffed. “Quickly, Louis.”

Harry had repositioned himself when Louis returned. He was flat on his front, head on the pillow. He was rutting against the mattress slightly and Louis let out a little groan. He looked so obscene. Louis’ dick twitched. He was so looking forward to fucking Harry.

He laid next to Harry and slipped a finger between his cheeks. As he fingered him open, the sounds emitting from Harry were ridiculous and indecent. Harry hined and whimpered as Louis took his time, enjoying the feeling of Harry clenching around him. Louis was about to slip in a third finger when Harry’s whines grew impatient.

“I’m ready.”

“You sure?”

Louis had found a condom next to the lube in Harry’s washbag, which was a pleasant surprise. He pulled his fingers out of Harry and rolled the condom on, lubing himself up and quickly lining up with Harry’s waiting hole. He pushed in, gasping at the tightness. He tried to start slow, worried about hurting Harry. Harry’s quiet whines seemed content enough and Louis persevered, stilling once he’d bottomed out.

“You okay?” He leaned down to kiss behind Harry’s ear. “You’re… so fucking tight.”

“I’m good.” Harry turned his face slightly. “Go slow?”

And so he did. As desperate as Louis was to just pound into Harry, he took it slow, languid, deep. Their bodies were close, sweating, and Louis hoped this was what Harry had wanted.

“Feel so good, baby,” Louis murmured in his ear.

Harry didn’t say anything. He continued to vocalise and move with Louis, but he said nothing. When Louis felt his orgasm building, he wished he could wrap his fingers around Harry’s dick, but Harry was still flat against the bed, no doubt getting off on the friction of the bed against it. Just as Louis opened his mouth to announce he was getting close, Harry started to tremble and whine pitifully. His hole clenched and fluttered around Louis, and Harry rutted jerkily against the bed as he came.

Louis pulled out as soon as Harry fell limp, discarding the condom and tugging at his dick. Harry turned to look over his shoulder just before Louis came hotly over his sweaty back.

“Be right back.” Louis pressed a kiss between Harry’s shoulder blades and fetched a damp flannel.

He cleaned Harry’s back before flipping him over and cleaning his chest and wiping in vain at the bed. He trotted back to throw the flannel in the bathroom and when he returned, Harry was laying in the foetal position on one side of the bed.

“You’re lying in the damp patch,” Louis remarked lightly. Harry grunted in response. “You alright?”

“Mm, yeah. Thank you, Louis.”

“Thank _you.”_ Louis stood behind him awkwardly, unsure what to do. He settled for laying down on the empty side of the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Are you going home?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, but let me catch my breath first, love.”

Harry giggled softly, flipping over to face him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering if you would stay. You know, if you can. I understand if you can’t.”

“I’ll stay… if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you,” Harry whispered. “Don’t feel like being on my own. And I don’t trust myself.”

“Okay.” Louis kissed his nose. “I’m here.”

-

Waking up next to Harry was an experience. Louis woke up before him and tried not to be creepy as he watched Harry sleep. He was laying on his front with his hands under the pillow, face squashed against it, and he looked lovely. He was so relaxed and naked and Louis almost felt like he was intruding.

Harry groaned softly and turned onto his side, grabbing the duvet and cuddling it close. He cracked an eye open and looked at Louis.

“Oh. Hello.”

“Hello.” Louis grinned as Harry rolled onto his back and pulled the duvet up around his neck. “You alright?”

“Mm, no.” Harry whined, squeezing his eyes shut. “Feel awful.”

Louis placed his hand gently on Harry’s head and stroked his hair. He wriggled close to press a kiss to his jaw.

“Poor baby,” Louis whispered. “What can I do?”

Harry cracked an eye to look at Louis again. “I’m surprised you’re still here.”

Louis frowned. “Why? Should I- Do you want me to go?”

“No, no. Never mind. Just come here.”

Louis shuffled closer and Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He sighed and the stale, sour smell of morning breath hit Louis’ nose.

“I wish I could stay in bed all day with a sexy boy sat on my dick.”

Louis turned his head into Harry’s armpit and giggled. “Oh my God. I wish you could, too.”

Harry hummed in amusement. “Well, anyway. Thanks for last night. For fucking me, and for staying. You’re amazing.”

_“You_ are.”

When Harry found the energy to get up and shower, he left Louis in bed and, when he returned, thanked Louis properly with a blow job. Harry left not long later and Louis had breakfast in the restaurant of the hotel so they didn’t leave at the same time. He ate as much of the free food as he could possibly stuff into his body and got into his car, satisfied with a full belly.

-

**_Harry Styles stumbles into hotel with FIVE mystery women_ **

**_\---_ **

It had been a month since Louis had heard from Harry and he was going mad. He was horny. He’d gone out last night and managed to pull two guys in the space of an hour and a half, but now it was Sunday morning and he had a sore arse and was still not satisfied. He was stirring a cup of tea obnoxiously in the kitchen, pondering whether he should text Liam and find out where they were, when James came in and slid his cup of tea away.

“What the fuck?”

“You’re being an annoying bastard.”

Louis gasped exaggeratedly. “Harsh.”

“Well, it’s true. What are you doing today?”

Louis sighed and shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe I’ll go home, see my mum.”

“Have you told her you’re shagging Harry Styles?”

_“James!”_ Louis scolded. “Of course not.”

James sat down at the kitchen table and rested his chin on his palm. “I thought you and your mum were close?”

“We are, but there’s still some things you don’t tell your mother. Like the fact you’re sleeping with the most famous singer in the world.”

“Most famous?” James pouted in thought. “Hm, not sure. Ed Sheeran’s pretty famous.”

Louis started giggling stupidly and James stared at him in confusion.

“Oh, God.” Louis sighed as his laughter died down. “Yeah. I’d say Ed is equally as famous.”

“Don’t tell me you’re shagging Ed Sheeran.”

“No! No.” Louis giggled quietly. “He just… nothing. Don’t worry. Anyway, if I was to tell my mum, she’d just worry.”

James scoffed softly. “I worry.”

“Aww!” Louis teased. “You worry? About _me?”_

“Shut up. You’re getting yourself literally mixed up in sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Of course I worry. You’re sleeping with a man notorious for fucking anything that moves.”

Louis softened and smiled at James. “Look, love. You don’t need to worry, yeah? You know I don’t touch drugs, and I’m really insistent about condoms. And I know you probably don’t believe me, but he really is a nice guy. I wouldn’t bother with him otherwise.”

James looked at him, slightly sceptical. “Alright. Just… stay safe. Okay?”

-

Louis stood nervously in his living room, staring out of the window. A car pulled up outside, and his eyes widened as he stood up. The driver got out of the car and approached the front door. Louis rushed out to the hall, pulling the door open before he could knock.

“Hiya, mate.” Louis smiled.

“Hello, Sir. I’m here to fetch you on request of Mr Styles.”

Louis grabbed his wallet and phone and shoved them into his pocket. He followed the driver out to the kerb and Louis wanted to laugh when the driver opened the rear door for him.

“Thank you,” he said instead.

There had been a few times when Louis had wanted to ask Harry why he always stayed in hotels when Louis knew he had a house nearby, but he’d thought better of it. Louis was just a groupie, after all. It was none of his business. And it wasn’t like he would be invited into Harry’s home.

But that was where he was headed. He felt more nervous than usual. What had changed? Why was he now happy to have Louis in his house? It had been nearly a year since they first met, and Louis wondered if maybe it was purely a length-of-service thing.

When they arrived, Harry answered the door in a silk robe, making him look either like the lady of the house or a pimp. Louis hoped _that_ wasn’t the reason he was there.

“Good to see you, babe.” Harry kissed him on the cheek and led him through to a sitting room.

“Wow.” The entire house was huge, extravagant, over the top. It didn’t feel that much like the real Harry, at all. “This place is quite something.”

“Isn’t it?” Harry sighed, turning his head to look fondly at a water feature behind the sofa. “Take a seat. I’ve got something for you.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, watching as Harry approached a posh looking desk and pulled a box out of the drawer. Louis’ heart started to pound. Harry sat down next to him and opened the box, which contained a very expensive looking Rolex watch.

“I saw this, and I thought... ‘this would look perfect on Louis’.”

“Oh… wow, Harry. I don’t know what to say.”

“Look,” Harry started. “You’ve been one of my boys for a long time, now. You’ve proved beyond any doubt that you can be trusted and you’re just so good to me. I look after my boys. You deserve a little something.”

A minute ago, Louis had been looking at the watch with heart eyes, agreeing that it would suit him, and he’d wanted it. But now, it felt tainted. Almost like payment.

“Harry, I don’t want this.” Louis reached for Harry’s hand when he pouted. “No, look. It’s a really nice gesture. And a gorgeous watch. But I don’t need expensive gifts from you. Makes me feel a bit cheap, if I’m honest.”

“Oh.” Harry looked down at the watch and frowned. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come off as sleazy or anything. I just… Usually...”

Louis took the box from Harry’s hands and placed it on the coffee table. He pressed a kiss to his lips and swung his leg over to straddle him.

“All I want from you is sex and respect.” He kissed him again. “I get just as much pleasure from this relationship as you do. We’re equal, yeah?”

Harry furrowed his brow, regarding Louis. “That’s what I love about you, you know.”

“What?”

Harry let out a small laugh. “You treat me as an equal. The others all act like they’re lesser than me. It’s lovely to be worshipped, but sometimes you just want to be treated like a normal person. You don’t feel like a groupie to me. More like… friends with benefits.”

Louis’ heart swelled. Harry was a wonderful man. Maybe sometimes it was more obvious than at other times, but Louis could always see it. Louis was grateful he had the chance to get to know Harry, even if it was a primarily sexual relationship.

“Louis?” Harry asked quietly. “I hope I don’t offend you by saying this, but you have been so lovely to me. I would really like it if you’d take the watch anyway. We both know where we stand, yeah? So, please take it as a gesture of my affection for you.”

Louis sighed. “Alright. But please don’t buy me anymore expensive presents.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Sir?” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “I like that.”

“Yeah?” Harry beamed. “Maybe you should let me take you upstairs, _Sir,_ and I can show you in another way how grateful I am to have you in my life.”

Louis bit down on his bottom lip before climbing off of Harry. Harry stayed there for a moment, eyes dragging up and down Louis. He fixated his gaze on the bulge in Louis’ jeans and grinned.

“I know exactly what I want to do.” Harry nodded. “If you’ll let me.”

-

Louis had never been tied up before. He was the kind of person who was willing to try anything once - which was a valuable asset if you were sleeping with Harry Styles - but he was yet to work out if he would actually get any pleasure from this particular activity. He was tied down on his front, his dick against Harry’s duvet. Harry had tied not only Louis’ wrists, but his ankles too.

“Is it too tight?” Harry whispered, curls tickling the back of Louis’ neck. “Too loose?”

Louis wiggled in his satin restraints. “No, I think I’m okay.”

“Awesome.” Harry placed a kiss behind his ear. “Are you sure this is all alright?”

Louis turned his head slightly. “Of course. I’d do anything for you, babe. I’m excited.”

“Okay. Well, I’m not gonna whip you, or anything like that. But essentially, you’re giving me all the control. Do you trust me? I really want you to feel comfortable and safe.”

Something tickled in Louis’ stomach. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

“Do you ever do this?” Louis asked. “Get people to tie you up?”

“Mm, sometimes. If I feel the need to relinquish all control. And only with people I trust enough.”

“Do you trust me enough?” Louis asked immediately without thinking.

“Of course I do.” Harry replied. “We’ll do it, one day.”

Louis smiled and nodded. “I look forward to it.”

Harry hummed in amusement before he disappeared. Harry’s pillow smelt clean but also very Harry, and it was making Louis’ hard dick leak just slightly. Being surrounded by Harry’s things was a delight. Louis was very much enjoying being in his space.

“You need a safeword,” Harry said, returning to Louis’ side and standing over him.

“A safeword?” Louis replied.

“Just in case,” Harry reassured him. “We probably won’t need it, but we should have one, just in case.”

“How about Rolex?” Louis smirked.

“No.” Harry matched his smirk. “You might call that out in sex naturally, since you’re so excited about your watch.”

Louis giggled. “Fuck off. I’d slap you if I could.”

“Alright, how about ‘penguin’?”

“Why penguin?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know!” Harry whined. “Can it just be penguin? I really want to fuck you.”

“Fine. Penguin it is.”

Harry nodded and disappeared out of Louis’ view. Louis dropped his face back to the pillow and gazed at the window. The sun was beginning to set and the sky was still blue, but the room was cast in dull, dimming light. He idly wondered if Harry was going to turn a light on when he felt the bed dip, and Harry settled between his parted legs.

Harry slapped his large palms to Louis’ arse cheeks and started to massage them. Louis sighed contentedly. He felt the weight of Harry’s body on his lower half, and he tried his best to arch into the contact. Harry continued to massage, until Louis felt warm breath against his hole.

“Fuck!” Louis squirmed as Harry pressed his tongue flat against his hole, licking over it wetly. “Harry, oh my God.”

“I’ve been meaning to get round to this,” Harry said, face between Louis’ arse cheeks. He pointed his tongue and experimentally pushed it in, making Louis cry out. “You have a pretty hole, you know.”

Louis groaned with a slight laugh. “Thank you.”

Louis felt himself pulling his restraints taut. He needed to grip something. He settled for clenching his fists, moaning loudly as Harry licked and sucked and nipped at his hole. Louis nearly lost his shit when a finger joined Harry’s mouth. Spit-slick fingers worked in and out of Louis as Harry licked over his rim, so good but the whole thing was just shy of hitting his spot.

“Harry,” Louis groaned pathetically. “Fuck me. Come on.”

Harry climbed off the bed and walked to the side so that Louis could see him as he rolled a condom on. Louis was actually quite touched by the gesture of reassurance.

“So sexy, Lou.” Harry was panting loudly as he repositioned himself between Louis’ legs. The wet sound of him lubing his cock up made Louis’ hole twitch. Louis felt a burning stretch as Harry entered him, pushing in smoothly but swiftly. He moved slowly at first, building a rhythm until he started to pound, thrusting into Louis at a punishing rate. Louis barely even realised the loud, obscene sounds he was hearing were coming from his own throat. The way Harry was fucking him knocked the breath right out of him and the fact he was restrained was deliciously maddening.

“Louis?” Harry panted, fingers digging into Louis’ hips. “Don’t come.”

“What?” Louis squeaked. “Why?!”

“I’m not…” Harry let out a tense moan, which told Louis he was getting close. “Not finished with you.”

Louis pulled at his restraints again. The satin digging into his wrists felt oddly satisfying. He focused his attention on not coming and tried not to rut against the bed. It was fucking difficult. Every part of him screamed to get friction on his dick. He didn’t have to concentrate for too long, because after a few particularly hard thrusts Harry was coming, grinding deep into Louis until he’d ridden out his orgasm. He collapsed on top of Louis for a few seconds before forcing himself up and pulling out of Louis.

“Fuck. That was amazing.”

“Harry,” Louis said with a whine. “I need something. I need to come.”

Harry leaned down to smile at Louis as he pulled off the condom. “Soon, baby. Not yet.”

Louis whined desperately. Harry disappeared into the ensuite for a moment and when he came out, he started to untie Louis’ ankles.

“Now,” he said authoritatively. “I’m going to untie you, but do _not_ touch yourself. Okay?”

Louis whined again, but he nodded. Harry untied his wrists too, and pressed a kiss to the right one which looked a little red where Louis had been pulling taut. He instructed Louis to flip over onto his back. Louis did as he was told, wincing slightly as he laid in a slight wet patch from the precome that had leaked onto the sheet. He starfished his limbs and Harry quickly tied his wrists back to the bed frame.

“I know it’s difficult, but don’t pull too hard. You’ll hurt your joints.” Harry re-tied Louis’ ankles. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself, love.”

Louis smiled softly. In all honesty, back before he met Harry, Louis would never have guessed that he’d be this caring to his groupies. He was very glad he was.

Harry had finished tying him back up and his eyes had darkened, his dick already hardening again. He was eyeing Louis’ own painfully hard dick, curled up on his stomach, precome pooling on his skin. Harry grabbed the lube and straddled Louis’ waist backwards. Louis furrowed his brow, curious.

Harry lubed up four fingers on his right hand and leaned forward. Louis’ eyebrows shot up as he found himself staring straight at Harry’s hole, eyes widening as Harry pushed two fingers straight in.

“Holy fuck,” Louis murmured. Harry’s cock was grazing Louis’ and he wanted to cry. Harry was having difficulty finding a rhythm, rocking back onto his fingers and pushing them in at a different pace. Louis wanted to reach out and help him so badly. Still, Harry quickly worked up to four fingers and Louis watched in awe, dick jumping every time Harry’s grazed it.

Harry finally pulled his fingers out, wiping them off on his own thigh. He grunted as he shuffled around to crouch between Louis’ legs. He took Louis’ cock in his hand and licked over his balls before taking them in his mouth.

“Harry, please.” Louis moaned. “I’ll come.”

Harry sucked at Louis’ balls as he pulled off of them. “Don’t.”

“Harry!” Louis cried out, crazed.

Harry licked up the underside of Louis’ cock and Louis thought he was a goner. If Harry put Louis’ cock in his mouth, he’d come. No doubt about it. Louis was equal parts relieved and distraught when Harry let go and hopped off the bed.

“Harry, what now?” Louis whined. Harry turned to pout at him sassily, and held up a condom, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh. Oh, yes.”

Harry let out a quiet giggle and approached the bed, ripping the foil packet open and rolling the condom down Louis’ sensitive cock. Louis tried to think of as many unsexy things as he could, but he really didn’t think it would take more than a few seconds of Harry riding him before he’d come. Hard.

Harry quickly straddled Louis once again, facing him this time, and immediately sunk down on Louis’ cock. Louis gritted his teeth. _Do not come,_ he demanded to himself. Harry started to rock back and forth, making a show of it, whining and moaning loudly. Louis wanted nothing more than to hold onto his hips and fuck up into him, but he had to settle for bucking up into him shallowly.

Harry leaned forward and braced himself on Louis’ chest. He lifted himself half off of Louis’ cock before slamming back down again and as he started to bounce up and down on it, Louis saw stars. His vision went blank as he came, vaguely wondering if it was okay with Harry that he’d let go, but honestly, he couldn’t hold on for even another second.

When his vision came back, Harry looked undeterred as he continued to bounce on Louis’ frightfully sensitive cock, head thrown back and eyes clenched closed. Louis watched him, panting. He really was a sight. His curls cascaded down his back, bouncing with his movements as his hard cock slapped up against his stomach. He opened his eyes, looking down on Louis. He gradually slowed his rhythm.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He slowed to a stop. “Hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Hurts so good, Harry,” Louis slurred out. “Ugh, God.”

Harry stayed sitting on Louis’ cock, catching his breath. After a minute, he pulled off and shuffled up Louis’ body until his knees touched Louis’ armpits. Louis looked up at him, panting, before looking down. Harry’s cock was in his hand, red, angry, hard. Harry was just staring down at him, so Louis opened his mouth.

Harry beamed, but reached up to push at Louis’ chin, closing his mouth. He shuffled slightly closer and gently pressed the tip of his cock to Louis’ lips, rubbed it along the bottom one, leaving a trail of precome behind it. Harry pushed his thumb into Louis’ mouth, opening it ever so slightly.

“I’ll never get tired of how gorgeous you are,” Harry said quietly. “Do you know? How beautiful you are?”

Louis blinked up at Harry, whose thumb was still in the corner of his mouth, tip of his dick still pressing on his lips. Louis pouted, pressing a kiss to it. Harry bit down on his bottom lip and stifled a moan, nudging against Louis’ mouth some more. Louis poked his tongue out and licked over Harry’s tip.

“Please,” Louis said, voice small. “Please let me.”

Harry’s eyebrows knitted together. He huffed out a breath as if to calm himself and he moved up on his knees, held onto the headboard, and looked down at Louis, who nodded.

Harry started to move his hips, pushing into Louis’ eager mouth. He sped up quickly, and Louis closed his eyes and just relished in the sensation. His body was aching with the need to sleep, but he happily took Harry’s cock in over and over as Harry thrust into his mouth desperately.

“Gonna come. Fuck.”

Harry let out a loud growl before releasing, spilling hotly into Louis’ mouth. He pumped his hips slowly through his orgasm before quickly pulling out of Louis’ mouth and climbing off the bed. He untied Louis, wrists first and then ankles. He crawled back onto the bed at once and embraced Louis, holding him close.

“Are you okay?”

“Mm.” Louis sighed contentedly. “That whole thing was… the fucking best, honestly.”

“Yeah?” Harry smiled.

“Yeah.”

Louis quickly drifted off and when he woke up again, it was about an hour later and Harry was still cuddled up to him, snoring quietly against his chest. Louis didn’t want to disturb him, but he had to. He needed a wee, and desperately.

He tried to somehow slip out, planning to push a pillow in his place, but Harry stirred, blinking up at him.

“Are you leaving?”

“Don’t have to.” Louis pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Just popping to the loo.”

When Louis returned, Harry was sitting cross legged on the bed, squeezing lotion into his palm. He tilted his head to gesture Louis over.

“Here.” As Louis sat on the bed, Harry took his hand and started to moisturise his wrist.

“You’re very lovely, Harry.” Louis smirked when Harry stilled his hand for a moment before resuming his task. “I hope people tell you that.”

Harry gave no sign of hearing him until he gave a minute shrug. He took Louis’ other wrist, staring down at it as he rubbed lotion into the reddened skin.

“You need to understand something,” Harry said, barely above a mumble. “All the other people I fuck, they don’t give a shit about me. They’re only it in for the gifts, and the alcohol, and the drugs. And, I guess, good sex with an attractive man.” Harry smirked briefly before frowning again. “They don’t give a shit if I’m a nice guy, or if I’m a dickhead, or whatever.”

“Why do you keep these people around you, then?” Louis asked incredulously. “You deserve better.”

“Do I?” Harry let out a humourless laugh. “Look, I just wanna have sex. I use it to relax. I use it to release pent up energy. I use it to get out my frustrations. I use it for comfort. It doesn’t matter that they don’t care about who I am. They provide me with what I need. End of story.”

“Okay.” Louis sighed, turning around on the bed and offering Harry his ankles. “So you just don’t care that you’re being used?”

“They’re using me, I’m using them. Equal footing.”

“You don’t believe that.” Louis frowned as Harry pointedly ignored him, rubbing his left ankle a little firmer than was necessary. Louis thought it actually felt quite nice. “What about Joe? You can’t tell me he doesn’t care about you at all.”

“He’s a friend of a friend. That’s different.” Harry shrugged. “Anyway. Joe’s gone.”

Louis raised his eyebrows. “Gone? What do you mean, gone? Where?”

“Just gone. You won’t see him again.”

“Aw, that’s a shame. The three of us got on really well.”

“Yeah, well.” Harry huffed. “Everybody leaves eventually.”

-

Louis often went months at a time without seeing Harry. Harry’s schedule was jam-packed and even when he was in the UK, he tended to stay down in London. Louis was rarely summoned to outside of the Manchester/South Yorkshire area, and when he was, it was usually for a specific reason.

He’d got a phone call just as he was pondering what to have for dinner. It was a Friday night and Louis was kidding himself if he thought he wasn’t just going to settle for a takeaway. He looked at the display of his phone and raised his eyebrows when he saw Liam’s name.

_“How quickly can you get to Birmingham?”_ Liam had asked. _“Harry needs you urgently.”_

Louis jumped in his car and took off towards the motorway as quickly as he dared. His mind was occupied, wondering what was up. He even joked to himself that, if he hadn’t insisted on using a condom every time, he’d be worried it was bad news.

And then Louis worried that it _was_ bad news. What if Harry had caught something and wanted to tell Louis, just in case? His heart hurt for Harry. What if it was something incurable? He couldn’t stop thinking about it and when his SatNav told him he was two minutes out from his destination, his heart started to pound.

He pulled into the car park of a small country inn on the outskirts of Birmingham. He’d never, ever known Harry to stay anywhere like this and he became even more suspicious. Liam met him by the entrance.

“Hey, man.” Liam shook his hand. “Thanks for getting here so quickly.”

“It wasn’t that quick.” Louis shrugged. It had taken him an hour and a half on a Friday evening, which, to be fair, was quick for the journey he had made. “Is Harry okay?”

“Well…”

“Liam.” Louis raised his eyebrows, trying not to look as scared as he felt. “Is he okay?”

“Look, he’s fine. He just has his down days. Today is one of them and he’s had a couple of panic attacks this afternoon. He won’t let me in his room, but he asked me to get you.”

“Wow.” Louis exhaled heavily. “Okay. Is there anything I need to do, or…”

“Just be there for him,” Liam said quietly. “He probably just needs to be cuddled, if I’m honest.”

Louis nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Thanks,” Liam said again. “He’s in room 8. It’s down that hall, right at the end. You’ve got my number if you need anything.”

Louis thanked Liam and made his way down the short hall. When he arrived at the very last door, he took a deep breath. He hesitated in knocking to gather himself. If he let himself think about it, he was very touched that Harry wanted him here. All his fear that he had built up in the  car had melted away and he just wanted to take care of Harry. He quickly knocked and promptly became very nervous.

There was no response, and so he knocked again.

“Harry?” he called tentatively. “Harry, it’s Louis.”

Nothing. Louis didn’t know what to do. Maybe he should head back to the lobby to see if Liam was still there? If not, he could ring him. He tried to quell the worry yet again bubbling in his stomach as he tried to decide a plan of action. Just then, Louis heard rustling and the door clicked open.

By the time Louis pushed the door open and stepped inside, Harry was climbing back into bed, facing the window. The dull light from outside was the only light in the room and Louis’ instinct was to flick the light on. He caught himself. Harry clearly preferred the darkness.

He could hear Harry breathing, quietly sniffing every few seconds. Louis didn’t know what to do with himself. He pushed his shoes off and unzipped his hoodie, slipped it off and threw it onto a chair. Approaching the bed, he hesitated for a second before climbing in, getting under the covers, and pressing himself against Harry’s back, cuddling him.

“This okay?” he whispered.

Harry nodded minutely. He sniffed again and leaned back into Louis’ contact.

“Thank you.” Harry sighed. “For coming. And… um...”

“I’m here for you, okay?” Louis pressed a gentle kiss behind Harry’s ear. “Just tell me what you need.”

“This is perfect, for now.” Harry sniffed again. “Except…”

“What, love? Anything.”

“Do you think, like… I mean, not like _that,_ but… Will you take your clothes off?”

“No problem.” Louis slipped out of bed and started to undress.

Harry flipped over to face him. It was hard to really tell in the dull light, but his eyes were puffy and red. He was unshaven - not that Harry ever managed to grow much facial hair - and his hair was matted.

“Keep your underwear on, it’s okay.” Harry managed a miniscule smile. “It’s not- I just… the skin on skin contact is good for my mood stability.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Louis slipped back into bed and when Harry looked down at his lips, Louis pressed them to Harry’s mouth gently, chastely.

It was basically the only chaste thing Louis had ever done to Harry.

“Will you take a nap with me?” Harry asked quietly.

“Of course.”

-

“Louis. Louis! _Louis!”_

Louis was jerked into consciousness. The first thing he acknowledged was that Harry’s breath indicated he hadn’t brushed his teeth today, and the second thing was that Louis was absolutely starving. Harry was kneeling beside him, looking down.

“You okay?” he croaked at Harry.

“I’m feeling a bit better.” Harry smiled down at him. “I’ve sent Liam to get us food, since your stomach has been rumbling ever since you got here.”

“Mm, when Liam rang me earlier I was just thinking about dinner. I grabbed an apple as I ran out the door, though.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Harry leaned down and kissed him. “I’ve not eaten a thing today.”

“Nothing?” Louis replied. “But Liam’s bringing us both food, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll eat.” Harry smiled sweetly. “Promise.”

Harry laid down next to Louis and there they stayed, in silence, staring at the ceiling. Their arms pressed together, and Louis slipped his hand into Harry’s. He looked over and noticed that Harry had closed his eyes. He looked peaceful, until there was a  tentative knock at the door. It was Liam with a pizza delivery. Harry exchanged a few quiet words with him before shutting the door.

Louis tried not to shovel food in as eagerly as he would’ve liked. He was starved, but Harry was reluctantly nibbling at a slice of pepperoni, so Louis forced himself to eat slowly.

“Thanks for coming, Louis.” Harry sighed, pulling a disc of pepperoni from his slice of pizza and sniffing it. “I feel a bit embarrassed. Pulling you away from your life like that.”

Louis smiled softly. “The only thing you’ve torn me away from is a night in front of whatever crappy Friday night film Channel 4 are showing.”

Harry gave him a small smile. “Well, I’m sorry anyway. I hate that my problems are affecting your life.”

“Don’t you worry about it.”

Harry finally took a proper bite from his slice of pizza, chewing with an expression that told Louis he still didn’t have much of an appetite. He swallowed before looking up at Louis, who gave him an encouraging smile.

“Um… I’m going off on tour soon,” Harry said. “I’ll be gone for ages. Six months, almost.”

“Oh, yeah. Asia and Australia, right?”

Harry nodded. “Yep. Then America. Award season’s right in the middle of that, so I’ve got a couple of weeks off shows. And then I’ll be back in the UK and Europe.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly. “You and your world tours.”

“Yeah.” Harry smiled coyly. “So, you think you’ll still be around when I get back?”

Louis shrugged. “I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

Harry’s resulting smile was the most genuine Louis had seen since he’d arrived. He ate with a little more enthusiasm then, and Louis felt pleased. If he never saw Harry again after this, he’d be content to know that, if only just for today, he’d made Harry feel better when he was down.

After dinner, Louis gave Harry a hand job and then cuddled him through a little tearful episode. He didn’t know why Harry was feeling the way he was, and he didn’t ask. Louis kind of got the impression that Harry didn’t know, either.

They fell asleep and stayed that way for the night. Louis woke up to Harry disentangling himself and heading to the toilet. Louis blearily rubbed his eyes and sat up.

“Hey,” he said when Harry came back. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Harry grumbled. “I’m heading down to London today and I have to leave soon, so…”

“Oh!” Louis raised his eyebrows, climbing out of bed at once. “Sorry, I’ll get going. Do I have time for a shower?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

Harry’s tone was curt. He sounded almost angry, but Louis was worried that his mood was even worse than last night. He hoped Harry wasn’t just trying to get rid of him so he could wallow on his own. He took a very quick shower and when he returned, Harry was dressed and scrolling his phone.

“I’ll just get dressed and I’ll be gone in 5,” Louis told him.

Harry sighed. “I’m still in a bit of a funk, Louis, I’m sorry.”

Louis’ expression softened. “It’s okay. That’s allowed.”

Harry chewed his lip, watching as Louis got dressed. As he tied his shoes, Louis felt Harry’s gaze burning into his back. He turned to look at him.

“Sorry about all of this,” Harry said.

“Stop apologising.” Louis grinned. “If I don’t see you before… have a wonderful time on tour.”

Harry climbed to his feet as Louis made his way towards the door. As he went to pull the door open, Harry pressed his palm against it.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear, pressing close behind him. “For everything. And not just last night.”

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, hugging him from behind.

“Take care of yourself, Harry.” Louis leaned back into him, rubbing over his forearm.

-

As it turned out, Harry invited Louis to a party before his tour.

Louis immediately declined, and half an hour later Liam texted him to inform him that Harry said it wasn’t _that_ kind of party, and so Louis agreed to attend.

When Louis arrived, he spotted Harry immediately. He was high as fuck, talking excitedly and loudly. Louis watched as Harry snogged about seven people he came into contact with before he spotted Louis.

“Hey!” He planted a kiss right on Louis’ lips. “So glad you’re here!”

“You alright?” Louis asked with a smile. “You, um… taken something?”

Harry giggled into the back of his hand. “I’m high as fuck, babe. You want some?”

“Nope. Still not into all that.”

“Aww.” Harry pouted. “Want a drink?”

Harry fetched him a drink and then disappeared. Louis sighed, standing on his tiptoes and looking around for anyone he knew. He didn’t see any of the groupies he’d met or any celebrities. He spotted Liam and decided to go and talk to him. He cut through the crowd easily and found Liam standing at the bar, sipping his drink through a straw and watching everybody dance.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Louis. Found Harry?”

“Yeah. He’s a bit, um, gone. I think holding a conversation with me was a bit too much of a daunting concept to his attention span at the minute.”

Liam laughed, a tinge of sadness in his voice. “Yeah, he went a bit hard tonight.”

“How’s he been?” Louis asked. “Last time I saw him was Birmingham, when you called me down.”

“Oh.” Liam sighed. “Yeah, he’s alright. I think he’s looking forward to getting out on tour again. Being constantly busy helps him, you know?”

Louis watched as Harry bounded through the crowd towards them. “You’ll look after him, Liam?”

“Yeah.” Liam frowned, looking troubled. “I’m gonna do my best.”

-

As much as Louis had no interest in drugs whatsoever, he had to admit he got a kick out of Harry snorting coke from his body. The sex that followed was always out of this world and, if Louis was honest, he knew that whenever Harry was with him, he was at least safe.

After two rounds, Louis was laying on the bed on his front, arse a little sore. Harry was twitchy, pulling his clothes back on, seeming slightly manic.

“Going somewhere?” Louis asked.

“Back to the party!” Harry said. “Did you see that blonde guy behind the bar? He’s so fit.”

“Fucking me twice wasn’t enough?” Louis said with a laugh. “God.”

“No. Not tonight. I need to fuck until I pass out. And Blonde Boy is next.”

“I’ll get off then, shall I?” Louis scoffed as he got out of bed and started to dress.

“Yeah. Cheers.” Harry was now at the mirror, trying to tame his hair.

Louis shot a glare to the back of Harry’s head. It wasn’t that Louis was jealous or put out, but Harry was acting a little strange and Louis wondered if he’d done something to upset him. It was just that Louis was used to being Harry’s favourite, and right now Louis was being treated as disposable.

Louis finished dressing and Harry was still at the mirror. Louis cleared his throat.

“Bye, then,” he said, and Harry turned around. “Have fun on tour.”

“Oh, my God!” Harry whined and approached Louis. He pulled him into a hug. “I’m gonna miss you so much. Your arse is my favourite place to be.”

Louis let out a little laugh, but felt rather unimpressed. He said his goodbyes and made his way back downstairs to the party. Not long later, he saw Harry reappear, flirting with the blonde guy behind the bar.

Louis didn’t know why he was still here. Harry was obviously finished with him and he didn’t know anybody else. It crossed his mind to say goodbye to Liam, but Liam was chatting animatedly with someone so Louis grabbed a bottle of water from the bar and slipped out.

-

**_Harry cuts a trendy figure in loud pink trousers as he touches down in Tokyo ahead of live shows_ **

**_\---_ **

Louis hated that they’d parted on sour terms. Harry had been wasted and likely had no idea, but Louis remembered it all in too vivid detail and he hated it. Harry had gone off to tour in Asia and Louis was left behind, letting uni and work take up his time.

When James was out, the flat felt cold, unlived in. Louis tended to stick to his room and one evening when he was feeling sorry for himself, he did a bad thing.

He got on YouTube and watched footage of Harry’s concerts.

He was, as usual, sin on legs and flirting ruthlessly with the crowd. He was wearing a blue, floral suit and Louis kept getting distracted by the fact he could see Harry’s dick bulging in his trousers. It was indecent - as Harry generally was - and Louis missed him. His bitterness from their last encounter together all but melted away the more videos he watched.

As pathetic as it felt, he couldn’t help but touch himself. He was horny, sue him, and yes he could have just gone out and easily pulled a cute guy but it was never good enough. No one quite satisfied him the way Harry did and as far as Louis was concerned, it was less hassle to bash one out himself rather than going out and finding someone to do it for him.

He came, cleaned himself up and made a cup of tea. He was a bit embarrassed about wanking to a concert video but really, Harry owned the stage. He practically made love to the stage. Who wouldn’t get hard over that?

Louis scrolled through Instagram as he sipped his tea. Harry had posted a picture of new boots and some of Louis’ friends from home had posted some pictures of a night out. Louis pouted sadly. James was always on at him to make new friends but Louis didn’t have much time for friends, really. If he wasn’t at lectures he was in the library, and if he wasn’t doing that then he was at work. Any spare time he had he left open in case Harry called.

And that really was the epitome of pathetic.

-

Louis became absorbed. He kept up with every concert that Harry did, swelled with pride at every rainbow flag he waved, admired every outrageous or eccentric item of clothing he wore. He also tried to work out how Harry was doing from the videos. Was he high? Was he happy? Louis couldn’t tell. Harry was always elated on stage either way.

Louis was sitting in the living room, earphones in and watching last night’s concert footage when James walked in and raised his eyebrows.

“Studying?”

“Um…” Louis raised his eyebrows. He was studying. Of sorts. “Of course I am.”

James nodded and chewed his bottom lip. He looked… nervous? “I wanted to ask you something. A... a favour, I guess.”

Louis hit the spacebar on his laptop to pause the video. He pulled his earphones out slowly and narrowed his eyes at James.

“Hm. Alright.”

“Um… well.” James sighed. “The thing is, I’m seeing this girl, and she’s a huge Ed Sheeran fan.”

“I don’t know Ed, James.” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “Did you not believe me when I told you I hadn’t fucked him?”

“No, no. But I- I just know that Harry’s really good mates with him.”

“Oh,” Louis replied awkwardly.

“I tried to get tickets to his tour but it’s impossible. I just wondered… if…”

“You know I don’t have direct contact with Harry, and I won’t see him for-”

“The tour’s not until next year. I was just wondering if maybe you’d mind asking Harry, just, you know, next time you see him.”

Louis sighed with a discreet roll of his eyes. “Remind me nearer the time, okay? I can’t promise anything but I’ll definitely ask for you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Louis knew he would do anything for James, and that the feeling was mutual. They’d been best mates ever since Louis’ first year, and he had bonded with James at a party when they were both stoned. They found a place together once James had graduated and that was that. James might have even been Louis’ platonic soulmate.

“If I’ve got to listen to all your Harry stories, I should at least benefit from the connection.”

“Fuck off,” Louis said with a laugh.

-

_‘GUESS WHO’S BACK! 2x front row under your name at box office. Bring a friend and ditch them after the show? H. x’_

Had it been six months already?

Who was he kidding? Louis knew full well how long it’d been, and he’d spend the past two weeks anticipating Harry’s Sheffield concert. He brought James along - after all, James was the reason this whole thing kicked off - and as they approached the venue, Louis laid down some ground rules.

“Once we get to the arena, you can’t mention that I know Harry, especially in the capacity in which I know him. Okay? We’re just a couple of fans who happened to bag two front row seats.”

“Don’t forget I’ve worked Harry’s shows. Everyone knows his front row is all competition winners and groupies.”

“That’s not true!” Louis replied, overdoing the outrage before completely backtracking and tagging on, “Okay, so we’re competition winners.”

“Like I’d mention that you’re a groupie when we’re in a crowd.”

“I could just picture you like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re fucking him!’ in the middle of the show.”

“How dare you,” James said, acting offended.

“Well, anyway. Did you want to meet him? I mean, he told me to ditch you, but if you wanted to meet him, I know he wouldn’t mind.” Louis grinned filthily. “Especially not if I promise a blow job in return.”

“No, no. You’re alright. You two can just get on with… whatever it is you wanna get on with.”

“Hm, well.” Louis scratched his chin. “We’ll probably-”

“I didn’t ask!”

It was lovely to watch Harry perform live again. He didn’t seem as exhausted as Louis thought he would, quite the opposite. He looked fresh and energetic, and his wicked smirk every time they made eye contact sent a thrill through Louis over and over.

“This is weird,” James remarked quietly to Louis when Harry was rambling on stage about something or another. “I feel like a fucking third wheel.”

Louis smirked, shrugging and cocking an eyebrow. “I’m just that great in bed, James.”

“Ew, stop!”

When the show finished, Louis and James slowly made their way out of the arena. Louis hadn’t heard from Liam yet, and just as they hit the street and Louis was pondering what to do, he received a text with a hotel name and room number.

Louis was a little nervous as he knocked on the door, which was ridiculous, but it had been ages. He was excited, too, and he was looking forward to seeing how Harry was. He’d not been great last time they’d seen each other.

“Hi,” Harry said, smirking as he opened the door.

Harry’s growing smile was blinding. As Louis stepped into the room, he wrinkled his nose and looked at Harry disapprovingly.

“Uh…” Harry laughed, bashful. “That’s me, sorry. Just jumped in the car straight after the show. You want me to go and shower?”

“Um…” Louis laughed. “Yeah.”

“Come here.” Harry openly looked Louis up and down, licking his lips. Louis frowned as Harry moved closer. “I chewed some gum, I’m minty fresh!”

Louis rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Harry. Harry reached out to grab him, pulling him abruptly against his chest by the waist and licking into his mouth instantly. Louis stumbled as their bodies crashed together and he moaned softly as Harry bit down on his bottom lip.

“It is _so_ good to see you again,” Harry mumbled against Louis’ mouth.

“You too,” Louis replied, wrinkling his nose again. He pulled his mouth away and pushed at Harry’s chest. “Okay, come on. Go and shower, you seriously stink.”

“Hm.” Harry reluctantly pulled away, slapping Louis on the bum as he turned towards the bathroom. “Why don’t you get yourself ready while I’m in there?”

Harry bit his bottom lip, walking backwards towards the bathroom as Louis rolled his eyes and started to unbutton his jeans. He pulled them down to reveal a small pair of black boxers, tented by his semi-hard cock. He looked up for approval, and Harry let out a small groan as he finally entered the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

When Harry came out less than ten minutes later, naked and ruffling his hair with a towel, Louis was twisted on the bed with two fingers in his arse, whining helplessly. He looked up at Harry with dark eyes and gave a tiny smirk.

“You look amazing, babe.” Harry hurried over to the bed, leaning down to nip at Louis’ bum. He groaned as Louis’ fingers squelched in and out, and Louis groaned back in response. His wrist was starting to hurt and the angle wasn’t exactly satisfying, but he seemed to be doing a good job of enticing Harry. Harry grabbed Louis’ wrist, yanking his fingers out - pulling a painful whine from Louis - and covered Louis’ body with his own, humping against his wet, gaping hole.

“Enjoy my show?”

“I always do.” Louis moved his body to meet Harry’s movements, their hot, lube-covered bodies moving together. “You’re very good.”

“Gonna fuck you so hard. So, so hard.”

“You taken something, love?”

“Did a line.” Harry nudged at Louis’ hole with his hard cock and Louis moved forward, away from him.

“Harry? Condom.”

“Hm?”

_“Condom,_ Harry.” Louis turned to look at him, eyes gesturing to the armchair. “My jeans pocket.”

Harry sighed, sounding a bit annoyed. Louis rolled his eyes, horny though he was.

“You know, Harry, we don’t have to fuck if you hate condoms so much.”

Harry let out a high pitched whine. “No, no, no. Need to fuck you. I’m sorry. So sorry. You’re worth it.”

Harry pushed at Louis to lie flat, and he looked over his shoulder as Harry rolled the condom on, lining up and pushing inside of him. Louis was crazy tight and could probably have done with being opened up a bit more, but he didn’t protest, instead crying out in ecstasy as Harry quickly bottomed out.

“You okay?” Harry asked, trembling as he struggled to hold himself still.

“Fucking burns,” Louis murmured. “Move, Harry. It’s fine.”

Harry began to pound into Louis, pulling back and slamming into him so erratically that he kept slipping out of him and having to reposition himself. Louis began to lift his hips the best he could, pushing back into Harry on his every thrust and soon enough, Louis was seeing stars. The thrill of seeing Harry again after so long coursed through him like a drug until it felt like Harry wasn’t the only one who was high.

“You’re so… fucking sexy,” Harry rambled. “Oh my God. Wish you’d let me come in you. Wish you could- Hope you’re gonna feel this all day tomorrow. Think about me all day.”

“Always think of you, baby.” Louis panted, and gurgled out a sob as Harry grabbed his hair and yanked. A delicious thrill shot through him. “When I’m not with you, I just- I just wish you were inside of me. Never stop thinking about you.”

Harry leaned down, balancing himself on his forearms which he placed either side of Louis, kissing and nipping at the tender skin of his neck, clearly intending to mark him.

Louis had wondered the past couple of weeks if he’d hyped Harry up too much in his mind, if his memory had exaggerated just how fucking good it felt to be with him. He knew now that Harry completely lived up to everything he’d been anticipating, lived up to all those memories he had played over and over in his mind.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck…”_ Harry sounded frantic. Louis wondered if it was residual concert adrenaline, the coke, or if he was feeling the same as Louis. “Louis, Louis, you’re so fucking- I’m gonna-”

Harry cut himself off with a choking sound as Louis started to rut against the sheets, desperately clamouring for friction and release. Harry grabbed hold of Louis’ hips, hoisting him onto his knees and reaching for his cock. A few hurried tugs and Louis came, spurting over Harry’s hand on and on the sheets.

“Harry, God.” Louis panted, looking over his shoulder. “Fuck, that was amazing.”

“Feel so good, baby, I-” Harry’s breath was ragged and his voice pitchy as Louis’ hole fluttered around his shaft. He pulled out, pounding back into him again. “Gonna come.”

“Come on, Harry,” Louis said, strained. Harry’s relentless thrusting was bordering on painful, his hole feeling sensitive after his orgasm. “Fuck me. Harder, Harry.”

Harry growled, digging his fingertips into Louis’ hips so tightly that Louis already knew he’d leave bruises. Harry continued to hammer into Louis before emitting a low growl then moaning loudly, filling up the condom inside of Louis and collapsing onto his sweaty, spent body.

“Missed you,” Louis mumbled.

“Mm, wish I could take you on tour with me.” Harry sighed, laboriously forcing himself into action and pulling out of Louis.

“I have a life, you know,” Louis said airily, wincing as he sat up. “You’d have to pay me.”

“I mean, I’m okay with that.”

Louis let out a short laugh, standing to his feet and walking over to Harry. He clapped his hand to Harry’s cheek, slapping playfully.

“I’m not a bloody prostitute, Harry.”

Harry grinned and rolled his eyes. “Alright, I didn’t think of it that way. Come for a cuddle?”

They both laid on the bed. Harry started to shiver and so he pulled the duvet over the both of them.

“Louis?”

“Harry?”

“I’m so glad you came. And that you’re still around. You know, I think a lot of my UK lads are gone.”

Louis frowned. “What do you mean by ‘gone’, exactly?”

Harry shrugged. “Dunno, man. Got into relationships? Moved away? Realised what they’re doing is gross?”

“Oi!” Louis nudged Harry. “Sex between consenting adults isn’t gross.”

“Easy for you to say, because you’re always safe and careful. You’re not gross.”

Louis shrugged noncommittally. They never really spoke about the condom issue. Harry sort of mostly accepted it, now. Incidents like earlier were few and far between, to Louis’ relief.

“I don’t know,” Harry continued. “Most of them just disappear without a trace. The ones I contact via Liam just stop responding to invitations and the others just stop turning up at shows and parties.”

Louis can’t imagine how any of the others could spend time with Harry and then just ghost him like that. On the other hand, Louis already knew how the others treated Harry, so he wasn’t sure why he was even surprised.

Harry was probably well shot of the lot of them. Not that it was in any way up to Louis, but Harry deserved to have people surrounding him who respected him. Surely he could find people to sleep with who respected him too?

“So, I might call on you a bit more often.”

Louis had become so busy the past few months, juggling uni and work. He barely had time for a social life, but Harry was different. Worth making time for.

“No problem.”

-

The next few months passed by in a blur for Louis. He met up with Harry a handful of times and each time, Harry was higher than the previous instance. Louis was beginning to feel… frustrated. Frustrated and worried.

It was a rare occasion, but this time Louis didn’t think Harry was on anything. He’d had a couple of days off and was home in Holmes Chapel visiting his family. He’d invited Louis around to his home and they were sitting on his balcony sharing a post-coital spliff.

“Can I ask you something?” Louis said, pushing his sex-sweaty fringe out of his eyes.

“Sure,” Harry replied warily.

Louis sighed. He didn’t know how to broach the subject, and the weed was clouding his mind. He looked to Harry. As good as the sex was when Harry was on coke, Louis adored how soft he became when he was stoned. He was swaying his head gently as if listening to music and Louis couldn’t help but smile.

“I know I’m just a fuck, so forgive me if I’m overstepping, but is everything okay with you?”

Harry furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?” he drawled, even slower than usual.

“I just, I feel… um…” Louis cleared his throat. “You used to take coke at parties. But now, I kind of feel like every time I see you, you’re high? I just wondered if everything was alright.”

Harry leaned over to snatch the spliff from between Louis’ fingers. His face had set into an expression of petulance, of childish grumpiness.

“I’m fine, Louis.” Harry scoffed softly. “It’s hard being Harry Styles sometimes, okay? I’m tired. All the time. I have down days, too, but I can’t take a sick day, so sometimes I need to perk myself up. Is that awful?”

“No, no.” Louis sighed, rubbing over his face with both hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Yeah.” Harry scoffed again. “Well.”

Louis no longer felt very welcome in Harry’s home. They finished the spliff together in silence and Louis made a swift exit, leaving a reluctant but willing Harry with a kiss.

Once he hopped on a train home, he sent a text to Liam.

_‘Can you tell H I’m sorry? Louis x’_

-

They’d left off on bad terms yet again. Louis felt a sadness in his heart and he wondered if maybe their time was coming to an end. It had to finish sometime, right? The last thing Louis ever wanted to do was upset Harry. He didn’t deserve it. This whole thing had probably always been too good to be true, anyway.

Louis moped around while James was on the phone to the girl he was seeing, telling her he’d managed to pull some strings and get them some fantastic seats for Ed Sheeran at Wembley Stadium next year. Louis was of the opinion that it was a bit foolish to commit to something so far ahead in time with someone you’ve not been seeing for too long, but then again, what did Louis know?

“She’s so excited, Louis. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he murmured in response. “You wanna order pizza?”

“Oh, well. Um. Julia’s taking me out for dinner as a thank you…”

“Okay,” Louis responded sadly. “I’ll order pizza by myself.”

“I’ll bring you back some dessert,” James said with a smile as he left the living room.

“It should be me she’s taking out for a meal!” Louis called after him.

-

He wasn’t sure if he was paranoid, but Louis felt like he’d been getting summoned by Harry a lot less.

Ever since he’d asked Harry about his coke consumption, Harry had felt rather cold towards him. Sex was quick and rather clinical and, afterwards, Harry would dismiss Louis if he took too long to make himself scarce.

“You know what we never got round to?” Louis asked one Tuesday night, mid-hand job. “Tying you up. You said you wanted to do it. You still want to?”

Harry furrowed his brow, staring at Louis’ hand as it expertly tugged at his dick. Harry was sitting in a hotel room armchair and Louis was on his knees between Harry’s legs. Louis looked up, blinking prettily, and Harry shook his head.

“Aww,” Louis replied, pouting. He thought that maybe he’d lost Harry’s trust, and that was something he was disappointed in himself for. Still, he reckoned he could still win Harry round, and he used the only tool at his disposal - his sexuality. “You don’t want me to take control of you, Harry? Tie you to the bed?”

“No.”

“Service you with one of those slow, long, wet blow jobs you love?” Louis smirked. “Eat your arse until you cry with the need for me to fuck you?”

Harry bucked his hips, thrusting into Louis’ hand. He huffed, squeezing his eyes closed. Louis released his hand from Harry’s dick and Harry let out a pathetic whine and pouted. He kept his eyes closed and Louis quickly shed his own clothes and sat his arse over Harry’s dick and started to grind down on it, nestling it between his arse cheeks.

“Fuck,” Harry muttered, fingers grabbing hold of Louis’ hips and attaching his mouth to his shoulder. “How have you got such a hold on me?”

“I find you very easy to read, Harry,” Louis said lightly. “Sexually, that is.”

“Mm.” Harry started to buck his hips rhythmically, bouncing Louis on his lap with the kind of enthusiasm Louis had been used to. “You always get me, baby.”

“God.” Louis moaned. “I- I never wanted to upset you, Harry, I-”

“Shh.” Harry soothed. “Let me fuck you. Do you have a condom?”

Harry opened Louis up, starting and ending with two fingers before fucking him senseless. Louis expected his thighs to ache in the morning, but for now he laid sweating and panting, sticky with come, on Harry’s lap and draped back across his chest.

“I dread the day you leave me,” Harry whispered in confession.

“Mm. Not going anywhere.”

-

_**Ed Sheeran claims Harry Styles is well-endowed** _

_**\---** _

Louis was startled, a month later, to receive a text from Liam with a hotel name and room number. As far as he knew, Harry was in London recording his next album. It was a pleasant and welcome surprise, though, and he cancelled plans with his friends from home to answer Harry’s summons. He spent some time making himself look nice and he smiled sweetly as Harry opened the door.

“Hi.” Louis walked through the open door, smirking as Harry noticed his sheer top. Harry had seen it before, and loved it, so Louis had thought it was time to drag it back out again. “Alright, H. My eyes are up here.”

Harry gave him a small, knowing smile as he shut the door. He took a deep breath in, and immediately Louis knew something was wrong.

“Harry, are you alright?”

He burst into tears. Louis’ eyes widened with mortification and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He took a step forward and embraced Harry, holding him close and gently shushing him.

“What’s happened?” Louis asked quietly before catching himself. “You don’t have to tell me. But if you wanna talk…”

Harry pulled away with a sigh and sat on the bed. Louis perched himself cross-legged at the end, watching Harry carefully.

“Um…” Harry cleared his throat and inhaled a shaky breath. “Someone I slept with sold a story on me.”

“No fucking way,” Louis deadpanned. “Who?”

“I don’t know!” Harry shrugged helplessly. “All I know is that it’s a guy.”

Louis’ heart sunk. He’d very much like to wring the neck of the bastard. “Are you, um… gonna be outed?”

“No, no.” Harry shook his head, staring down at the bed sadly. “It won’t go to press. Tabloids sell their soul to the highest bidder, you know. They contacted my team and they paid them off.”

“Oh. Well, okay.” Louis exhaled.

“But it’s the _betrayal,_ you know? God! I’m just trying to live my life and have fun. I don’t want to have to get everyone I fuck to sign a bloody NDA, you know?”

Louis climbed to his knees and shuffled up the bed to sit next to Harry, his back against the headboard. He went to wrap his arms around Harry’s shoulders, but all at once Harry got up and quickly straddled Louis. Harry clung to him as if for dear life and Louis melted. He absolutely melted. Harry quietly sniffled in his ear and Louis felt like he was holding an overgrown baby.

“Hey,” Louis soothed. “Look, you’re a celebrity. You’re a huge fucking celebrity. You’re gonna have a lot of people who betray you in your life. But you have people in your life you can trust, yeah? You’re close to your family, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Harry sniffed. “I am.”

“You have to put your energy into the people you know you can trust, you know?”

Harry pulled away, staring down and nodding his head. Tears were streaked all down his cheeks and he looked so tragically beautiful that Louis had to avert his gaze, looking down between their bodies instead.

“You called me,” Louis said suddenly. “You didn’t think it could be me?”

“Oh, no,” Harry said immediately, shaking his head. “No, I knew it wouldn’t have been you.”

Louis felt rather touched. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Harry ducked his head to nuzzle at Louis’ neck. “We’ve known each other for… how long?”

“Um…” Louis closed his eyes as he felt Harry’s lips on his neck. “Nearly two years?”

“Nearly two years,” Harry repeated. “You would’ve sold your story long before now. Anyway, you know I trust you. That’s why I’ve brought you into my home before.”

Louis smiled to himself. “That’s really sweet, H.”

“Plus,” Harry pulled away again and gave Louis a watery smile. “Some of the details they gave were totally not you. Apparently he was bigger than me, for a start.”

“Dick wise?” Louis teased.

“Please!” Harry laughed. “Build wise.”

Louis laughed too, and swiped at Harry’s damp cheeks with his thumb. “Definitely not me.”

“Thank you,” Harry whispered. He kissed Louis sweetly, sweeter than he ever had. Something fizzled in the pit of Louis’ stomach. “You know what?”

“Hm?” Louis asked, eyes closed.

“I think I need…” Harry sighed. “I need you to take control.”

Louis felt his cheeks flush and he quickly opened his eyes. “Are you saying-”

Harry bit his bottom lip and fluttered his eyelashes. “I need you to tie me up tonight, darling.”

“Fuck. Stop it,” Louis said as Harry fluttered his eyelashes again. His heart had started to pound. “You don’t need to try to be any sexier, Harry. You’ll finish me off.”

Harry tilted his head upwards proudly. “I always finish you off.”

“Hm.” Louis smirked. “True.”

Harry smiled. “So. Will you?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Louis smiled before frowning thoughtfully. “Do you have the, erm, stuff with you? Restraints and stuff?”

“Hm, no.” Harry looked around. “I’m sure we can improvise.”

“Is that wise?” Louis asked, concerned. “Like, safe?”

“Not everybody can afford such premium bondage gear that I can, and they get by.” Harry climbed to his feet. “You know what? I’ve got just the thing.”

He rummaged through his duffel bag and with a cry of success, he pulled out a bundle of material that looked like headscarves. He used to use them to hold his hair back on stage when it was shorter, and Louis had seen him wearing them during sex a few times.

“Wonderful, seems very safe,” Louis remarked. “How do you feel about being blindfolded?”

“Oh.” Harry smirked. “I feel great about it.”

Louis grinned. “Okay, good.”

He watched Harry sit on the bed and pull the headscarves away from each other, observing the thought process of deciding which ones to use. Louis was in a state of arousal, but he couldn’t help but think about the betrayal Harry had suffered. He really hated it. If only he could protect Harry from shit like that.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think this is the right time to be throwing all your trust in me? Like, you’ve just been betrayed, and-”

“I know I can trust you.” Harry smiled reassuringly. “Right now, what I need is to put my trust in someone who won’t let me down. It’ll really help me.”

“Alright.” Louis nodded with a smile. “I promise I won’t.”

Harry smiled back and stood to his feet. He undressed, keeping eye contact with Louis. He approached him and as he slid his hands down Louis’ body, fingering the hem of his shirt, Louis stopped him.

Louis reached down to the bed and grabbed a green patterned headscarf. “Turn around.”

Arousal flashed behind Harry’s eyes before he obeyed. Louis folded the headscarf into a strip and gently placed it over Harry’s eyes, carefully tying it firmly behind his head, making sure not to catch any hairs in it. He turned Harry back around to face him and started to undress. Harry’s breathing was already starting to labour, a small gasp emitting from him when Louis unzipped his jeans. Once he was naked, Louis took a step closer to Harry and Harry immediately slipped his hands onto Louis’ bum.

“Harry?” Louis whispered. “When you say you want to be tied up… do you mean specifically to the bed?”

Harry tilted his head, a small smirk on his lips. “Why? What did you have in mind?”

Louis let out a small laugh and kissed his mouth. “I’ll show you. If you don’t like it-”

“If I don’t like it, I’ll Penguin.”

Louis let out a laugh as he picked up another headscarf from the bed. He stood behind Harry and reached around to grab his wrists, crossing them over each other behind Harry’s back.

“Oh,” Harry remarked. “Alright!”

Louis tied Harry’s wrists together carefully, Harry curling his fingers to brush Louis’ skin. Louis giggled softly as he swiped playfully at Harry’s hip.

“How’s that?”

Harry wiggled his wrists a bit. “Perfect.”

Louis walked back round to face him. “On your knees.”

Harry abruptly dropped to the floor, so heavily that Louis winced for Harry’s poor knees. He sat back on his heels and tilted his head upwards, opening his mouth expectantly.

Louis’ hand flew straight to his own cock. Harry looked… otherworldly. What was the purpose of other men being on this planet when Harry was here? Louis stifled a whine, tugging eagerly at his cock as he took a step closer to Harry. His open mouth was so inviting, and Louis sighed as he slipped his fingers into the hair at the back of Harry’s head. Harry gurgled a whine.

“God, Harry,” Louis murmured. Harry moved his head forward, mouthing and sticking his tongue out, blindly trying to locate Louis’ cock. Louis smirked. “You’re… you’re so…”

_“Please,_ Louis.”

Louis guided his cock into Harry’s waiting mouth. Harry took him in eagerly, bobbing his head and slurping noisily. Louis looked down on him, absolutely mesmerised. His full, pink lips slid up and down Louis’ shaft purposefully, and the only thing better than being able to see Harry’s eyes while he sucked him off was him being blindfolded.

“So good, baby,” Louis said quietly, thumbing over Harry’s cheeks where they were hollowed. Harry turned his head slightly, pushing Louis’ cock into his cheek so that Louis could feel it bulging against his thumb. Louis whined pitifully. “God. Okay. We need to stop or I’ll come.”

Louis stepped back, reluctantly pulling out of Harry’s mouth.

“Aww,” Harry whined and pouted.

Louis quietly dropped to his knees and shuffled close to Harry. He leaned in to kiss him, making contact only with his lips before he stood up again. Harry leaned forward, seeking him out.

“Louis? Lou?”

Louis stood over him, once again twisting his fist over his own cock. He hadn’t wanted to come yet, but his brain was fogging and he couldn’t focus. Harry deserved focus.

He stifled a groan. He didn’t want Harry to catch on, but from the way Harry was licking his lips, Louis reckoned the subtle sounds from his throat and of his hand on his dick made it obvious. Louis looked at Harry again, his dick hard between his legs and dribbling precome onto his thigh. He tilted his head and his curls brushed his gorgeous neck and Louis felt his orgasm swiftly building.

“Lou?” Harry said again. “Please? I need you, I need-”

And then Louis was coming. Harry groaned loudly in surprise as Louis hit his lips and cheeks with hot come. Louis sunk to his knees, still twitching.

“Oh.” Harry licked over his lips. “That was a lovely surprise.”

Louis gently placed a kiss to each of Harry’s concealed eyes before kissing him hotly on the mouth. Harry groaned and shuffled forward clumsily as Louis clung to him.

“Hey,” Louis whispered. “I want you to stand up now, okay? I’ll help you.”

Louis stood to his feet and cupped Harry’s elbow to help him up. He stood in front of Harry and ran his thumb through a splash of come on his cheekbone. He pushed his thumb into Harry’s mouth and Harry sucked it immediately with a groan.

“Harry,” Louis said with a sigh. “You’re the best sex I’ve ever had. By far. I can’t believe that one day I won’t get to fuck you.”

“No!” Harry whined, mouth still full with Louis’ thumb. “Don’t leave, Louis. I’m not ready to lose you.”

“Hey, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m going nowhere.” He wrapped an arm around Harry’s narrow waist and turned to lead him towards the bed. “Do you think you’d be uncomfortable on your back with your hands like that?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Alright. Sit.” Louis helped lower Harry to the bed and gently pushed him onto his back. “Let me know if it gets uncomfortable.”

“I’m not a porcelain doll, you know, contrary to popular belief.”

“Haha!” Louis shook his head as he pushed Harry’s legs apart. “I think you have a reputation as unbreakable, actually.”

The smile melted from Harry’s face. “I think you’ve seen me break a couple of times though, Lou.”

“No. Not broken. Just a bit dented.”

Harry’s smile returned and Louis settled between his legs. Harry’s breath hitched as Louis grabbed hold of Harry’s cock and licked a stripe up the underside, lapping at the precome on the tip.

“Louis, don’t tease,” Harry said with a frustrated growl.

Louis squeaked out a laugh. “Says you?”

Harry groaned grumpily and bucked his hips. Louis made a tutting noise and resumed his task. He took Harry’s balls into his mouth and sucked gently at them, swirling his tongue around and he tried not to smile as Harry groaned indulgently.

“Fucking hell.” Harry writhed, whining when Louis released his balls with a wet pop. “You’re so _good_ at that.”

“Ball sucking?”

“Yeah!” Harry laughed, writhing again. “Not a lot of people are, you know.”

“Hm.” Louis sunk down, taking Harry all in at once.

Harry bucked his hips and it felt strange to Louis not to have Harry’s large hands gripping his head. He pressed his lips against Harry’s shaft and dragged them all the way up until they were pursed against the tip and he sunk down again.

“Lou. Lou. Lou!” Harry whined pathetically, bucking his hips. “Lou, fuck me. Fuck me.”

Louis scurried off to find some lube and when he returned he worked on opening Harry up. He stroked inside of him slowly and indulgently, closely watching Harry’s expression. Louis crooked his fingers and watched as Harry’s lips drew back, revealing rows of clenched, white teeth, a tense growl emitting from deep in his throat.

“Fuck, Louis. There. Fuck.”

“Feel amazing, baby.” Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s thigh. “Want me to fuck you, now?”

“Yes! Yes. Please.” Harry was almost sobbing. He licked his lips. “Um, can I turn over for it? Hands are getting sore.”

“Yeah. Yes.” Louis pulled his fingers out of Harry, causing him to wince. “Sorry, baby.”

Harry just sort of gurgled in response and Louis carefully turned him over. Harry winced again as his dick squashed against the mattress, face pushed into the pillow. Louis rolled the condom down his shaft and lined up behind Harry, taking a deep breath before starting to push into him.

There was something about looking at Harry’s hands, bound behind his back as Louis pushed into him. It heightened every sensation for Louis, watching as Harry’s fists clenched around the tail of the scarf.

“Feel okay?”

“Fuck, yes,” Harry moaned. “Need it, Louis.”

Louis placed a hand in Harry’s two bound ones and started to move in and out of him. Harry’s body was pulling him in gratefully and, although Louis was still a little sensitive from coming so recently, it felt incredible and he wasn’t sure how long he’d last.

Harry was rutting into the mattress below and whining pitifully. Louis loved seeing Harry desperate like this. Before he’d met Harry, he’d reckoned Harry fucked the way he performed. Energised, commanding, mesmerising. That was definitely true but, like on stage, he could also be quiet and vulnerable and honest. Harry surprised him sometimes, which was something that Louis loved about him.

“Lou. Louis?”

“Yes, love?”

“Need to come, Lou. Can’t…”

“What do you need?” Louis asked, continuing to thrust into him.

“Really hard, please. Fuck me hard.”

Louis squeezed Harry’s bound hands, using his free one to grab his hair and tug sharply. Harry let out a loud, throaty moan and Louis started to pound relentlessly, as hard as he could. The indecent sound of his balls slapping against Harry filled the room and just as Louis felt the beginnings of cramp in his left leg, Harry started to tremble, his hole clenching and fluttering around Louis’ cock.

“Ah, fuck!” Harry cried out. “Oh, God.”

“So sexy, Harry.” Louis slowed his movements. Harry was making quiet sobbing sounds and Louis wasn’t sure whether to be concerned. “You okay?”

Harry nodded. “I’m sore. Will you come on my face again?”

Louis carefully pulled out of Harry and tore the condom off. He flipped a spent, sweaty Harry over and quickly straddled his chest.

Once again, Louis was struck by how lovely Harry looked, and now even more so, panting and glistening. Louis reached down to adjust Harry’s blindfold, and Harry smiled brightly.

“Louis? Get on with it!”

Louis laughed tensely. His cock was red hot when he took hold of it, and he gazed down upon Harry as he tugged, biting his lip. As he felt his orgasm approach, he shuffled closer to Harry’s face, and Harry opened his mouth expectantly. Louis gasped a split second before he came, spurting hotly onto a pleased Harry’s waiting lips.

“Thank you, thank you.” Harry sighed and licked his lips, catching as much come as he could. “Louis, I…”

Harry fell silent and Louis climbed off of him. He turned Harry onto his side and freed his wrists. Harry rolled down onto his back and smiled, flexing his hands.

“You okay?” Louis asked softly.

“I’m great.” Harry held his hands out, fumbling to find Louis, who slipped into bed next to him and flung an arm across Harry’s torso. “Am I keeping the blindfold on, then?”

“Well, you have the use of your hands. You can take it off.”

“That’s your job,” Harry said with a grin. “If you wanted it off, you’d have taken it off.”

“I think it’s pretty,” Louis replied. “It matches the colour of your eyes.”

Harry pouted sassily. “So you’re saying the headscarf is prettier than my eyes? I look better with my eyes covered?”

“No. But there _is_ something about your eyes being covered that I just can’t get enough of.”

“You’re never gonna let me look at you during sex ever again, are you?”

Louis giggled, shuffling in close. He reached in to pull the blindfold up and smiled as he looked into Harry’s dancing eyes.

“Aw, there he is!” Louis grinned. “I dunno, because looking you in the eye as I make you come is really something special.”

For the first time ever, Louis thought he saw a little pink colouring Harry’s cheeks.

“Yeah?” Harry replied quietly. “You always make me feel special.”

“You _are_ special,” Louis whispered, pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips. “And I hate that people don’t treat you with the kindness you deserve.”

“Yeah, well.” Harry’s lips pressed into a line, and he blinked rapidly before a few tears fell from his eyes. “I don’t deserve it. Or you.”

Louis frowned sadly. “Of course you do, love.”

“I don’t,” Harry replied, somewhat coldly. “Let’s face it, I’m just a cokehead who can’t keep my dick in my pants.”

“No. Nobody’s perfect, H.” Louis sighed, wiping Harry’s tears away with the back of his index finger. “You’re a wonderful, loving, caring man. Of course you deserve respect and kindness.”

Harry hurriedly sat up and wiped his eyes. He found his clothes and started to dress as Louis looked on, frowning.

“Harry, where are you going?”

“Fuck this. I need to get high.”

Louis suddenly felt the urge to cry. It took everything he had to stamp it down, sighing sadly as Harry pulled his boots on.

“Don’t do this,” Louis said, trying to keep his tone even and the tremble out of his voice.

Harry turned to look at Louis. “Thank you, Lou. I had an incredible time. You made me feel loads better.”

“Just not enough?” Louis smiled sadly and stood to his feet. “Please be careful.”

Harry hesitated before approaching Louis, placing his hand at the back of his neck and kissing him.

“You’re really something else,” Harry said with a smile. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

And then, suddenly, Harry was gone. Louis rubbed over his face, sighing in frustration. When did Harry get so flighty?

-

Louis felt like he was losing touch with Harry. He didn’t hear from him for a good few months after that. Once upon a time, Harry had liked Louis because he wasn’t passive and he was honest. But now? Maybe Louis told Harry truths that he didn’t want to hear. Louis just wasn’t sure why Harry didn’t want to hear that he was worth something.

One dreary Monday, Louis walked into Tesco to get some lunch and stopped dead as he walked past the magazines. A photo of Harry stumbling out of a club had caught his eye, plastered with the headline _‘Harry Styles Breaks Down!’_

Louis sighed, anxiety thrumming through him. He absolutely wouldn’t buy the magazine - they were trash tabloids, after all - but he couldn’t help but worry. He pulled his phone from his pocket, opening a text to Liam before thinking better of it and pushing his phone back into his pocket. If Harry didn’t want to see him, well. Louis wasn’t one to be overly clingy. But he needed to find out if Harry was okay.

Lous took to the internet. He stayed off the scary places like Tumblr and Twitter, but he managed to find out that Harry was filming a TV show down in London the next day. He supposed yet another sick day from uni was in order.

He got in his car late Tuesday morning and headed down to London. When he stopped off for petrol and a spot of lunch, he texted Liam.

_‘Hiya! It’s Louis. Can you let H know I’ll be in London today and free later. Cheers!’_

He nervously sipped at his coffee, starting when his phone buzzed with a reply.

_‘Might be in contact later. Regards, Liam’_

-

Louis didn’t receive a hotel name this time; instead he had a club name. His name was on the guestlist and, once inside, he started the usual task of trying to locate Harry by looking for clusters of people.

To his surprise, he spotted Harry in a booth with Liam. Louis wasn’t sure whether he should approach or not. They both looked a bit serious, but Louis was invited, right?

He walked over, trying to get Harry’s attention without walking right up to the booth. He finally succeeded, and Harry gave him a small smile, saying something to Liam and nodding in Louis’ direction.

“Hey,” Louis said as he approached. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Not at all.” Harry shuffled over to make room for him. “Liam was just leaving.”

“But…” Liam sighed. “Okay, but this isn’t over, Harry. Hi, Louis.”

Louis gave Liam a small wave as he hastily retreated. Louis could feel Harry shaking his leg compulsively, and he was flipping a bar mat between his fingers.

“It’s really good to see you,” Harry said, staring at the bar mat. “How’ve you been?”

“Yeah, yeah. Not bad.” Louis frowned, watching him. “You?”

“Fine, yeah.”

Louis sighed to himself. Well, this was awkward. “Funny not to see you out on the dance floor.”

Harry turned his head sideways to look at Louis in his periphery. “Didn’t feel like it.”

“Alright. What _do_ you want to do?”

Harry huffed, clutching the bar mat tightly. “Get high. Liam won’t let me.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “Isn’t he just your assistant?”

“And my best friend,” Harry mumbled. “I just can’t- I feel like fucking shit. I keep trying to tell him that I will get clean when I have a break, but he won’t fucking let it go. He expects me to work when I’m in a fucking state? I can’t perform when I’m in withdrawal, Louis. I really can’t.”

“He loves you, Harry. You know that?”

“He doesn’t _understand!”_ Harry growled. “If I leave this booth, he’ll be on me like a ton of bricks. The fucking barman has the fucking coke for me, but Liam won’t let me anywhere near him. I can’t fucking…”

Harry trailed off with a whine. It hurt Louis to the core to see Harry like this. The bags under Harry’s eyes, the tremble in his fingers, the sharp pain in his empty gaze. Louis clenched his eyes shut and sighed, his heart sinking.

“Okay, look. I’ll get it for you if I can. Only because you’re in such a state.”

“Oh my God!” Harry’s eyes were wide and hopeful when Louis opened his own. “Serious?”

“Promise me you’re going to get clean when you’re off.”

“I promise! I promise.” Harry kissed Louis. “Okay, it’s the barman with the hairy arms. Get us some drinks as a cover.”

“Do I need-”

“I’ll just give him a nod and he’ll hand it over.”

Louis couldn’t quite believe what he was doing. He retrieved the coke from the barman and brought Harry back a glass of wine. As he sat down, Harry beamed at him, sweat glistening at his hairline.

“You’re the best!”

Louis couldn’t quite manage to smile at him. After all, he didn’t feel like the best. In fact, he felt like a piece of shit. “Yeah, well…”

Harry grinned, grabbing the glass of wine and sipping. “Give it a couple of minutes and we’ll head to the loos. If Liam asks, I’m giving you a blow job. Which… I think you deserve, anyway.”

“Mm, yeah. I do.” Louis took the wine from Harry and sipped.

“Thank you, Louis. I know you don’t agree with this stuff.”

“I can’t watch you suffer,” Louis said moodily. “Come on, then. Let’s go.”

They headed to the toilets and Louis didn’t watch as Harry snorted a line. He was rapidly becoming angry at himself for aiding Harry and he was just about to turn around to walk out when Harry came out the cubicle with a grin on his face.

“I appreciate you, so much.” Harry licked his lips and took Louis’ hand. “I wanna show you how much.”

Louis was weak, especially when Harry pulled him into the cubicle, dropped to his knees and wasted no time in pulling Louis’ jeans open.

Harry very eagerly sucked him off, and it didn’t take Louis long to forget all his worries and sink into the feeling. Harry let Louis fuck his mouth and he came down his throat, snorting a second line straight afterwards.

“Um…” Louis cleared his throat, still slumped against the wall. “I’m gonna head off.”

“What? You just got here.”

“I know, but I…” Louis sighed. “I just have to go.”

“Can I see you soon?”

Louis smiled. “You have my number. Or, at least, Liam does.”

When Louis walked out of the club, he wandered the streets for a while before he found a Travelodge to book into and when he turned off the lights to sleep, he found himself starting to cry.

Harry was getting out of control, and Louis didn’t like it. Of course, it wasn’t really anything to do with him. He was just a groupie. But he couldn’t pretend not to care about him, and if something happened to Harry, Louis wouldn’t be able to stand it.

On top of that, he’d facilitated Harry tonight. Harry would’ve gone without if it wasn’t for Louis. He’d assisted Harry in evading Liam, his best friend, who _actually_ had Harry’s best interests at heart.

Fuck.

He had just hated seeing Harry suffer. He couldn’t bear it. But at the end of the day, Louis had helped Harry continue the habit that could and probably would hurt him long term.

He contemplated ringing Liam, but what could he do? He just needed to learn his lesson and hope that Harry was okay tonight.

He tried for another three hours, but he couldn’t sleep. He gave up, taking as hot a shower as he could bear and headed down to reception. He checked out, grabbed a strong coffee from the vending machine, and hit the road.

-

Louis couldn’t face even looking at a photo of Harry.

If his music video came on TV, Louis had to turn it off. He couldn’t shake the self-hatred of assisting Harry and the guilt was immense and overwhelming. He was too scared to venture onto the internet to see if Harry was doing okay so instead he just… prayed. If Harry was seriously not okay he was sure he would hear about it, but in the meantime, he just blindly hoped. It was all he could do.

Of course, receiving phone call after phone call from Liam didn’t help his panic.

Louis stared out the window. When his phone started to ring _again_ , his eyes flinched and he stared even more stubbornly, tears pooling along his bottom lids.

He finally broke, blinking down to look at the display on his phone. Liam’s name was flashing up for the fourth time and, as Louis’ tears fell, he growled and snatched the phone up.

“Hello?” he asked, irritated.

_“Louis! God, you’re hard to get hold of.”_

“Hi, Liam.” He sighed. “Is everything okay? Is Harry alright?”

_“Yeah, yeah. He was just really insistent that I get in contact with you and see if you’re free.”_

Louis rubbed his forehead. “Is he, um… is he high?”

_“No, no. Actually, he’s in withdrawal and I think he just needs a bit of company. A bit of comfort, you know?”_

“Oh,” Louis said in surprise. Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting Liam to say that. “Alright then. Well, where are you?”

_“He’s up in his Manchester house.”_

“Alright. Can you pass a message on for me?” Louis chewed his bottom lip. “Can you tell him… I’m not gonna do… the thing I did last time.”

_“Yeah, uh, I’ll tell him.”_

Louis gave a small smile to himself. Fuck knows what Liam thought he meant.

“Cheers. Drop me a text if he changes his mind.”

_“Um… okay.”_

-

Louis never heard back from Liam, and he remembered where Harry lived, so he just turned up, feeling nowadays like he could do that kind of thing and need not follow any specific instructions. He was buzzed through the gate and when he knocked on the door, it was answered by a huge, bald, burly man who was definitely not Harry.

“Are you Louis?”

“Um… yeah.”

“Do you have any drugs on you?”

Louis frowned at him sassily. “No.”

“Okay. Come this way.” The man led Louis into a utility room. Louis gasped in delight as a Springer Spaniel trotted over to them. “Harry insists the dog sniffs everybody who comes in. Just to be sure.”

“Seriously?” Louis raised his eyebrows with a slight chuckle, bending down to scratch the dog behind its ears. “I mean… alright.”

The dog’s tail was wagging like crazy as it sniffed Louis excitedly. Louis tried not to coo over it too much, since it was doing a job.

“Alright,” the security guard said. “You’re fine. Harry’s in the kitchen. You know the way.”

“Yeah. Cheers, man. Can I just-?” He pointed to the dog.

The security guard smirked. “Yeah. Go on.”

Louis fussed over the dog for a minute before tearing himself away and setting off to find Harry. He was indeed in the kitchen, sitting at the island tapping away on his laptop with a glass of wine in hand.

“Oh, hey!” He beamed. “It’s you.”

“It’s me.” Louis approached with a small smile. Harry slid off the stool and they stood opposite one another until Louis stepped forward to hug him. “You’re doing it, then?”

“Getting clean? Yeah.” He smiled, looking strangely apologetic. “Fingers crossed. Sorry about the security.”

Louis let out a laugh. “I can’t believe you went and hired a bloody sniffer dog.”

“Hey,” Harry drawled with a small smile on his face. “I thought you’d be proud that I’m going to such extreme measures to make sure I don’t fall off the wagon.”

Louis’ face softened. “I am proud. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Harry took Louis’ hands in his own. “And thank you for coming out here.”

“You’re welcome. You’re looking good.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I’ll probably turn in five minutes. Plus, there’s, like, no visible symptoms. I can look okay but feel like shit inside. Liam’s got the dog handler checking on me every ten minutes to make sure I’ve not hurt myself. A symptom of withdrawal, apparently.” Harry shrugged.

Louis raised his eyebrows. “Jesus.”

“I have to go to therapy as well. But my management didn’t want me going to rehab and letting it get out or anything.”

Louis frowned. “Really?”

“My image is the most important thing, Louis,” Harry said with a fake smile. “Oh, and speaking of my image and my team…”

Harry led Louis through to the living room and they sat at opposite ends of the sofa. Louis felt like something had shifted between them recently. The days of carefree, filthy sex were gone. There was something else between them now, dynamic and unknown, something that Louis couldn’t quite touch.

“Um… So.” Harry cleared his throat. “There have been a few more… kiss-and-tells filtering through.”

“Are you joking?” Louis scoffed. “Seriously, if you ever find out who’s sold a story…”

“It’s shit.” Harry shook his head sadly. “But, yeah. So. Because they’ve been on the increase - even though I’m hardly sleeping with _anyone_ now, I swear - my team think it’s just a matter of time before I’m outed. So, they think I should come out.”

Louis raised his eyebrows. “Wow. And how do you feel about that?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess it’ll be a weight lifted. I always wanted to come out at some point. But it sucks that I’m being pushed into it because people are dickheads.”

“Yeah.” Louis sighed.

“Oh, and I’ll be coming out as bi, not gay.” Harry shrugged again. “Supposedly easier to swallow. I mean, let’s face it. It sucks. But my therapist says I need to stop dwelling on the negative all the time.”

“Fair.” Louis kicked Harry with a socked foot. “You do seem different. Settled.”

“I don’t feel very settled.”

“You’ll get there, love. Just remember you have people you can surround yourself with who love you very much.”

Harry nodded, staring at the back of the sofa where he was picking at a loose thread of a throw. He inhaled slowly, exhaling with a sigh.

“Well, I need a distraction. And since I have to rely on natural highs to make me feel good… wanna go upstairs? Get a bit naked?”

Louis giggled. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Harry frowned at him for a couple of seconds before painting on a small smile and standing up. He pulled Louis to his feet and led him upstairs.

-

“Say it.”

“Argh, fuck,” Louis said with a groan, pushing his arse back against Harry. “You’re the- the best…”

“Louis…”

“You’re the best I’ve ever had. _Fuck.”_ Louis saw stars as Harry slammed into him over and over.

“Yeah,” Harry panted. “What else?”

“Your dick is a throne.” Louis cried out as Harry shifted slightly and slammed straight into his prostate. “A-and I’m the King.”

“Yeah, you are.” Harry was fucking him harder than ever, and Louis felt like Harry was letting out all his frustrations. All his withdrawal, all the betrayal. If Louis was but a mere vessel, he didn’t mind too much. “I could listen to you being fucked all day.”

“Maybe you should…” Louis groaned, hanging his head and clenching his eyes shut. “Fuck me all day, then.”

“You know what I wanna do?” Harry panted, leaning down to lick sweat from Louis’ back. “Suck you off on stage. Imagine. Wembley Stadium. Ninety thousand people watching you come into my mouth.”

“They’d be so jealous, babe. Everyone wants to fuck you.”

Harry landed a sharp slap to Louis’ arse, just east of where he was pounding into him. “They’d all wanna fuck _you,_ if only they could see you.”

“Don’t wanna, only wanna fuck you.” Louis let out a loud whine. “I’m so close, Harry.”

Harry displayed surprising strength as he shoved his arm under Louis’ body, pulling him up straight. He awkwardly shuffled them both forward a couple of inches before Louis got the idea and braced himself against the wall. Harry began to grind into him, deep and languid. He grabbed hold of Louis’ cock and tugged twice before Louis started to chant Harry’s name, spurting all over the pillow and headboard.

Harry ground into him one last time before stilling, panting in Louis’ ear.

“Remember that time I came on your face and took a photo?”

“Yeah,” Louis replied.

“Sometimes, when I’m horny but want to be left alone, I wank looking at it.”

Louis groaned. “I’m so glad, baby.”

“Can I do it again?” Harry panted, whining slightly as his hips couldn’t help but twitch. “Come on your face?”

Louis nodded quickly. Harry pulled out as slowly as he could manage, standing to his feet and ripping the condom off. Louis slipped off the bed and onto his knees, tilted his head back and smiled reassuringly up at Harry.

“God, you-” Harry scoffed softly, shaking his head. He was holding his dick in his right hand, slowly dragging over it, and he ran his left thumb delicately over Louis’ bottom lip. “You’re the absolute fucking best, do you know that?”

Louis couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t think Harry had ever said anything to him with such sincerity before. He parted his lips and drew Harry’s thumb in, sucking at it lightly.

“Please,” Louis said, mouth full. “Come on me.”

Louis sat back on his heels, back resting against the side of the bed. Harry took a step forward and Louis fluttered his eyes closed just in time, hearing the tense whine from Harry a split second before a splash hit his eyelids, cheek, lips.

“Can I?” Harry said quietly, shuffling about. “Can I take another picture?”

“Course. Shall I open my eyes?”

“Yeah, babe.”

Louis carefully opened his eyes. Harry’s come was swiftly cooling on his face, but it was worth it to see Harry’s expression. His eyes were wide and he was chewing on his bottom lip, hands trembling as he opened the camera on his phone.

“Louis, honestly. You’re so sexy.”

Louis smiled. He tilted his head sideways and down, giving the camera puppy dog eyes as Harry snapped the picture. As soon as he had, he dropped the phone to the floor and dived towards Louis, kissing and licking all over his face until he was clean.

“You’re better than any drug,” Harry murmured, lips still pressing over whatever skin they could find.

“Yeah?” Louis giggled softly. “Maybe you should become addicted to me instead, then.”

Harry pulled away slowly and looked into Louis’ eyes with a smile.

“Maybe I already have.”

-

Louis was sitting with James in his flat when he watched Harry Styles win his first Grammy.

Album Of The Year was his and Louis was so pleased that he thought he could cry. He didn’t, of course. James would never let him hear the end of it. Still, Louis clapped and cheered and punched the air and his heart swelled with what felt suspiciously like pride.

“He deserves it,” Louis told James. “He’s so talented.”

James snorted. “You’d know.”

“Shut up.” Louis tried to hide a smile. “He’s good at everything.”

James narrowed his eyes, observing Louis. Louis stuck a middle finger up at him, focusing on the TV as the adverts played.

“Louis, when was the last time you went on a date?”

Louis rubbed over his chin, stubbornly ignoring his best friend. James was the best in a lot of ways, and always wanted the best for Louis, but _God._ He could be annoying.

“Look, I know you have fun with Harry, but I just wondered if you considered that it might be holding you back.”

“In what way, James?” Louis sighed, irritated. “It’s just sex. I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”

“Maybe you should have ‘just sex’ with other people.”

Louis laughed. “Oh, trust me. No one can fuck me the way Harry does.”

“Ugh.” James rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious. He’s so fucking good in bed, James.”

“Well, as long as you’re happy.”

“I’m _satisfied.”_ Louis told him with an air of finality. “And that helps me concentrate at uni.”

James laughed incredulously. “Seriously, Lou? Last week you said you couldn’t focus on a single thing, because you were deliriously horny, because Harry was out in LA.”

Louis shrugged with a grin. “He’s a fucking _rock star,_ James. We just watched him win a Grammy.”

“So?” James rolled his eyes. “Look, fine. Each to their own. But you guys have been shagging for years and you’ve been single the whole time. Don’t you miss all that relationship stuff?”

“No.” Louis rolled his eyes, feeling his hackles starting to rise. “I’m young, James. I just wanna have fun. I’m not ready to settle down.”

James raised his eyebrows. “Okay, fine. Fair enough. I just worry about you.”

“I’m happy and safe. I’m okay.” Louis sighed, deflating slightly. “You have nothing to worry about.”

-

Louis hadn’t lied to James, but there were two things that brought him down.

One: Harry was on tour yet again, and Louis was increasingly horny. He meant what he’d said: no one else satisfied him the way Harry did. He’d still just as sooner have a wank than go out on the pull.

Two: Louis was in a constant state of worrying that Harry would fall off the wagon.

Harry was touring Asia and Louis knew how relentless Harry’s schedule was as well as how hard he found it sometimes. Louis had to kind of put his faith in Harry’s inner strength and Liam’s support, but he still went into a blind panic when he popped on Twitter and saw Harry’s name trending.

It turned out that Harry had fallen over on stage and everybody was having a good old laugh about it.

His next panic - albeit momentary - came one Saturday afternoon when he was studying and his phone rang, Liam’s name flashing up on screen. When he went to pick up the phone, he realised it was a Facetime call.

He held the phone up in front of his face, fixed his hair, and pressed _answer._

_“Hiii!”_ Harry said cheerfully on the screen. _“It’s me!”_

“Hiya, Haz!”

_“How are you?”_ Harry smiled, wide and genuine and Louis felt something fizzle in his stomach.

“I’m great. Congratulations on the Grammy!”

_“Oh.”_ Harry giggled shyly, which wasn’t something that Louis ever thought he’d see. _“Thank you, Lou.”_

“How are you? How’s the tour?”

_“Oh, it’s fine. It’s hard though, without my rock.”_ Harry giggled at Louis’ confused expression. _“You, silly! I’m still clean, if that’s what you’re asking. It’s difficult at times, especially when I can’t just call you up to serve as a distraction.”_

“Well, you did now.”

_“True.”_ Harry bit his bottom lip. _“I miss you. I’m so fucking horny.”_

Louis stifled a grin. “Yeah? Me too.”

_“I was hoping you’d say that.”_ Harry tilted his phone downwards and Louis widened his eyes to see Harry was fully hard in a small pair of white boxers. _“I just finished my show and I’m buzzing. I can’t get to sleep before I sort this thing out.”_

“Harry,” Louis whispered as he scrambled to his feet, leaving his books on the sofa and heading straight for his room. “You didn’t feel like going out? I’m sure you could find someone?”

_“Can’t risk going out.”_ Harry’s hand, clad with his signature rings, rubbed over the prominent bulge in his boxers and Louis stared with wide eyes. _“Wanted to talk to you. See you.”_

Louis switched his phone to his left hand and tried to shuffle out of his joggers with the help of his right hand. He wasn’t very successful, especially now that his attention was on Harry’s hand, which was rubbing over his cock with increasing vigour.

“Looks great, Harry.” Louis gave up for now and just pushed his hand under his waistband and gripped his cock. “What do you want?”

_“Will you just… talk to me?”_ Harry sniffed and his hand stilled. _“Are you touching yourself, too?”_

“Yeah,” Louis replied, squeezing at his cock.

_“Just need to hear you.”_ Harry withdrew his hand and slipped his fingertips under the waistband of his boxers. _“And see your face. Keep the camera on your face?”_

“Okay, baby. I will. You gonna get it out so I can see?”

Harry pushed his hand in further, grabbed his cock and pulled it out of his boxers. Louis groaned indulgently and Harry squeezed his shaft.

_“Wish you were here. I could really do with one of those Louis Tomlinson blow jobs.”_

Louis laughed lightly. He looked at his own image in the corner of the screen. He looked like shit, if he was honest. Still, Harry didn’t seem to care. Louis licked over his lips so they glistened and he tilted his head slightly.

“I miss you,” Louis said, whining with a seductive pout. “God, I wanna sit on your face.”

Harry let out a choked whine, his hand speeding up as he tugged at his cock. He stopped for a second to rub his thumb over the tip, smearing precome around it and Louis found himself sighing, finally starting to move his hand over his own cock.

“That’s it, baby. Why don’t you twist your fist a bit?”

Harry groaned as he did as he was told. _“Genius. What would I do without you? Fuck. Can’t believe you’re watching me have a wank.”_

Louis felt a delicious rush at giving Harry instruction. “It’s gorgeous. Can I sit on your cock when you get back?”

_“Yes, fuck yes. Absolutely. I-”_ There was a flashing on the screen before it fell black. _“Shit.”_

Louis stilled his hand as he smirked ever so slightly. “You alright, Harry?”

_“Dropped the phone.”_ Harry’s face came into view, cheeks pink and eyes blown wide. _“Sorry.”_

“Silly boy,” Louis teased with a smile. “Let me see you, babe. All of you.”

Harry held his phone up at arm’s length and chewed his bottom lip. His cock sat stiffly by his hip and Harry ran a fingertip up his shaft, watching Louis closely on the screen.

Louis licked his lips again. Something about this whole thing was so ridiculously hot.  “Very, very nice. Gonna make it wetter, love? You got any lube?”

_“No.”_ Harry quickly brought his hand up to his mouth and licked a wet stripe across his palm. _“This will do.”_

“Harry Styles with no lube?” Louis teased. “What has the world come to?”

_“Therapist set me a task.”_ He grabbed his cock in his wet hand and tilted his phone down again. _“No sex this week.”_

“Wow.” Louis raised his eyebrows. “And you’re doing well?”

_“Yeah.”_ Harry hissed as his hand grew rougher. _“No sex so far.”_

“Good boy,” Louis praised. “You’re allowed to touch yourself?”

_“She insisted, actually,”_ Harry said with a tense laugh. _“Said I shouldn’t go cold turkey.”_

“Okay,” Louis said, beaming. “So I’m helping out with your mental health, really?”

_“Yeah!”_

Louis absently stroked his own cock as he watched Harry with rapt attention. Harry was becoming more eager and rough on himself, tugging sharply and bucking into his hand, and Louis just really missed being with him.

_“It’s such… such a turn on, having you watching me.”_

“It is for me, and all.” Louis sped up his hand. “Really can’t wait to watch you come.”

_“Yeah? Then can I watch you come?”_

“Definitely, babe.”

They fell quiet, and Harry was determined. He started to whine and dropped his dick for a second to pinch at a nipple before grabbing his cock again, pumping hard and fast.

_“Gonna come,”_ he growled and then he did, pulsing as he shot come onto his stomach and fist. Louis let out a loud groan, stilling his hand and squeezing.

“Fucking beautiful. One sec.” Louis placed his phone on his stomach and used both his hands to quickly push his joggers down to mid-thigh. He picked his phone up again and switched to the rear camera. Harry’s face filled the screen and Louis watched him raptly, imagining spilling onto Harry’s lovely face. He watched Harry’s eyebrows raise as Louis started to come. His orgasm was surprisingly intense, trembles wracking his body as he watched a delighted smile spread across Harry’s face.

_“Oh, Louis. I can’t wait to get home and fuck you.”_

Louis sighed, switching back to his front camera before smiling and throwing his head down onto his pillow.

“Can’t wait, either.”

-

**_Ten times Harry Styles fell over on stage in pictures_ **

**_\---_ **

Louis didn’t hear from Harry again, but he was counting down the days until Harry was likely coming home. He was starting to feel a physical longing for Harry, and he stubbornly ignored it. He pretended not to hear the alarm bells and he vowed to make sure James didn’t catch wind of it, either.

He threw himself into his uni work and he was exhausted by the time the summer rolled around. He allowed himself a week of freedom before taking on full-time hours at work. He needed the money, if he was honest. James had invited him on holiday to Rome, but he couldn’t afford it.

Well, that, and he didn’t want to schedule anything in case Harry came home, but he didn’t tell James that bit.

With his best friend out of the country, Louis found himself staying in most nights. He was still horny as fuck, and probably would have benefited from going out, but he just didn’t feel up for it. Maybe he was just… getting old. Back when he’d first met Harry he was going out most nights, sometimes pulling a few guys a night. Nowadays, Louis would rather get an early night, maybe have a nice soak in the bath.

Okay, so he was definitely getting old.

He was back watching concert videos. He didn’t know why he tortured himself like this. Not only did it make him miss Harry more, but in the back of his mind, he could never stop wondering if Harry was high. He believed in Harry, he really did, but he was a worrier. He was always an energetic performer either way.

The next morning, Louis woke up to the news that Harry had _casually_ mentioned in an interview that he’d ‘dated men in the past’.

Louis was simultaneously very proud and concerned. He hoped Harry was okay, but he knew it was likely a burden lifted. It must’ve been very trying, having to hide all the time, and Louis was surprised no one had quite managed to out him up until now. He was glad Harry could reveal it on his own terms. Well, his _team’s_ terms, anyway.

As the day went on, some pap pictures of Harry emerged. Something in Louis’ gut told him Harry was absolutely fine.

-

_“Did you hear Harry Styles is gay?”_

_“He’s not gay. He just fucks anything that moves. Surprise, surprise.”_

The coffee shop was not a great place for Louis to be, today of all days. Harry’s coming out was big news, as low-key as the admission had been. Still, Louis felt like he could relax a tiny bit. There wasn’t quite as much at stake if someone found out about them.

And Harry may have been one of the most famous musicians in the world, but Louis could never get used to hearing people talk about him.

_“I’m telling you, Sophie, he’s fucking Zayn Malik.”_

_“Don’t be stupid. You and your theories.”_

Louis rolled his eyes. There had been some blind articles inferring that Harry had slept with Zayn Malik, the popular R’n’B singer, after the two happened to be photographed leaving a party together. Harry had told Louis that they had both been high as fuck and just happened to be heading back to the same hotel. Louis had seen the photos and, despite the two of them being draped over each other, Louis could tell they weren’t fucking.

_“Did you hear? Harry Styles-”_

Louis grabbed his coffee and got the fuck out of there before he snapped.

-

“I’m not gonna make it in today. Really sorry,” Louis said, trying to make a cup of tea as quietly as he could. “To be honest, I can barely get off the toilet. Must’ve eaten a dodgy curry or something. Sorry again!”

Louis hung up the phone. He wasn’t a stranger to pulling a sickie, but this was the mother of all sickies. He’d received a phone call from Liam an hour ago asking (slash telling) him to catch a flight to LA in a few hours. Harry requested his presence, it would seem.

Louis was thrumming with nervous energy for the entire flight. He’d never been in business class before, but here he was, sipping champagne for the sake of it, and he wouldn’t even have started his lunch break yet, had he been at work.

Liam was sitting next to Louis, tapping away on his laptop. Louis didn’t know why Liam wasn’t already with Harry. Surely he hadn’t been sent back to England solely to fetch Louis? Either way, he didn’t want to ask. He’d never spoken to Liam much, and wouldn’t know what to say to him if he had to speak to him for this flight. Luckily, Liam was working and so Louis busied himself with the in-flight entertainment.

Louis was relieved when they finally touched down at LAX and Liam bundled him into a fancy car and said goodbye. It was a long half-hour car ride and Louis’ eyes were glued to the window. He knew nothing about LA, had never been, but pretty soon he could tell they were getting into expensive territory. The car slowed at a pair of big, black gates that retracted to let it in. A minute later, they came to a stop and the driver immediately got out.

“Have a good day, Sir,” the driver said as he opened Louis’ door. Louis grabbed his backpack - he’d not packed much - and climbed out the car. Harry was stood at the door, arms folded.

“Well, well, well,” Louis said with a smirk. “How horny do you have to be to fly me halfway across the world?”

“Really, _really_ fucking horny,” Harry said helplessly. He took Louis’ backpack from him, placing it at the foot of the stairs as he led Louis through to the rear of the house.

“I have a life, you know. Outside of you. I can’t just drop everything on your say so. I have a job.”

“Aww.” Harry pouted. “I can… pay you for being here?”

Louis laughed in surprise. “That’s called prostitution, Harry. That’s illegal.”

“I guess.”

“Come on, Harry. You’ve got to know some really hot boys out here. Why did you need me?”

Harry shrugged, musing. “Don’t you ever… like, you can have all the finest food in the world available, but sometimes you just want a pie and chips?”

Louis cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms. “Is that how you see me, Harry? Pie and chips to your LA boys’ haute cuisine?”

“No!” Harry grinned, poking Louis in the ribs. “I just mean sometimes you just need your home comforts.”

“So, I’m a home comfort.” Louis let out a short laugh as Harry led him out the back. He stifled a gasp. They were on a hill and the view was breathtaking. The pool was impressive and the whole back garden was just gorgeous.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Harry replied. “Look, I just… I was feeling a bit weird and I needed someone familiar with me. I craved your company. That okay? I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience.”

Louis smiled. “Nah, it’s okay. Kinda nice to have an excuse to pull a sickie. How long am I here for? If you’ve flown me out for the day, I might kill you.”

Harry smirked. “I was hoping you’d stay all weekend. I’ll get you home by Monday evening.”

“Yeah. I’ll stay.”

“Good.” Harry beamed. “Now take your clothes off.”

Louis laughed loudly, immediately moving to unbutton his jeans. He was semi-conscious of the fact they were outside, but he knew better than to think Harry would live somewhere that someone could see into. He pushed his jeans down, using his feet to pull them off with his trainers as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

“It’s very warm here,” Louis commented. “I’m not used to it. I could do with cooling off a bit.”

Harry watched him undress, chewing on his bottom lip. He raised his eyebrows, stifling a grin.

“Are you saying you wanna fuck in the pool, Louis?”

“No, I’m saying I wanna _get_ in the pool.”

Harry pulled his t-shirt over his head, tossing it carelessly onto the ground before placing his hands on his hips. Louis felt his fingers twitching with the urge to touch. He hadn’t seen Harry in the flesh for a few months and clearly he’d been keeping fit. Very fit.

“Feel free. I want you to enjoy yourself this weekend. You’re not just here as my plaything.”

“Ooh, I do feel special.” Louis took a run and jumped in the pool. He made an almighty splash before quickly breaking the surface of the water, head emerging and hearing the tailend of a squeal.

“You little shit!” Harry whined, quickly unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down. “I’m coming for you, now.”

Louis took in the sight of Harry in just a tiny pair of hot pink boxers, just tight enough to fail to leave much to the imagination. He looked like he was about to take a run up.

“Stop!” Louis shouted. “Do _not_ run.”

“So I’m not allowed to have fun, now?”

“Harry, it’s wet. You _will_ slip. You’ll hurt yourself. I couldn’t live with myself if I was responsible for breaking that million dollar face.”

Harry let out a loud cackle, relenting and walking towards the pool carefully. He sat down at the edge and lowered himself in.

“You’re so caring, Louis.” Harry sighed, cutting through the water towards Louis. Louis drifted backwards to the edge of the pool and let Harry pin him in against it. “Sometimes, I wonder why you waste your time fucking the likes of me. You could have any guy you wanted.”

“Mm, well.” Louis loosely wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. “I fuck exactly who I want, thanks.”

Harry smiled, pleased. Louis could tell by now when Harry was insecure, when he needed reassurance. He could see it in his face.

“I’m really glad.” Harry smirked, his rockstar confidence back. “You know you’re my favourite, right?

“Yeah, yeah. Bet you say that to all the boys,” Louis said lightly, touching their mouths together before Harry could deny it. Harry eagerly pressed against him, snaking his tongue into Louis’ mouth as he bumped their crotches together. Louis felt his body relax into the contact. Fuck, he’d missed Harry.

“Thanks for coming out here,” Harry whispered after pulling away slightly. “I really just… I needed…”

“Show me to your bedroom?” Louis said quietly. “We don’t wanna contaminate the pool.”

They headed inside to the bedroom. Louis slowly took Harry apart, fucking him slow and deep, both of them eager for the other. They took a nap, but when Harry had to slip out for a meeting, he kissed a sleepy Louis hotly and told him he’d be back in a couple of hours.

“Make yourself at home. What’s mine is yours.”

Louis took a shower and then headed for the pool, stopping off in the kitchen to grab himself a beer. He had a swim, naked and feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time. To think, when he went to sleep last night, his Friday night was going to consist of watching TV and treating himself to a Pizza Hut takeaway.

Louis had seen a plaque for one of Harry’s albums in the hallway and he had the title track stuck in his head. He was singing under his breath as he made it to the edge of the pool and reached for his beer. He jumped out of his skin when he saw a lady coming out of the house.

“Hello,” she called over, not seeming surprised to see him and not looking at him as she straightened up some of the chairs.

“Hiya,” Louis called back awkwardly, shifting to hide his nudity.

“You want some lunch?” She fluffed a couple of cushions. “You are hungry?”

“Oh, um… no. I think I’m okay, actually. But thanks!”

She sighed loudly. “Ah, English. Okay. I make you lunch. Any allergy?”

“Uh - no. No allergies. Thank you.” Louis grinned to her and she waved a hand dismissively, disappearing back into the house.

Harry arrived back home not long later, his meeting running shorter than he thought. He stripped all his clothes off immediately and slipped into the water with Louis.

“Ah, that’s nice.” He slid a wet hand into the hair at the back of Louis’ neck and kissed him. “Been having fun?”

“Your, um, housekeeper or whoever is making me lunch.” Louis grinned. “I told her I didn’t want anything, but she insisted.”

“Ah, yeah. She thinks English people are too polite. Whenever I tell her I’m not hungry she decides that I’m lying out of politeness.”

“To be fair, I am hungry. I _was_ just being polite.”

Harry laughed as he crowded Louis into the corner of the pool and then kissed him again, immediately pushing his tongue into Louis’ mouth. Louis moaned, going pliant under Harry, happy to let him take whatever he needed.

Harry started to rut against him and Louis was swiftly rethinking his no sex in the pool thing from earlier on. Harry pulled his mouth away from Louis’ to look him in the eye and bite his lip.

“I know I said you’re not just here to be my plaything and that I wanted you to enjoy your weekend here, but I’m really hoping you’d like to enjoy it by the way of lots of sex.”

Louis laughed softly. “Anything you want, babe. I’ve missed you a lot.”

Harry dropped his hand into the water and wrapped it around Louis’ cock. Louis gasped, moaning as Harry kissed him once again and they melted into each other, arousal muddying Louis’ mind and he barely acknowledged the sound of somebody walking towards them. Harry didn’t react at all at the sound of someone standing by the edge of the pool.

“Sandwich,” Harry’s housekeeper said, placing a plate down somewhere nearby before retreating quickly.

Louis started to giggle against Harry’s mouth.

“Don’t worry about her,” Harry murmured. “She’s used to it.”

“Yeah, I bet she is.” Louis bucked into Harry’s hand for emphasis.

They got each other off in the pool, the pair of them coming into the water, which felt a bit weird to Louis. The sandwich and his hunger both laid forgotten as they got out of the pool, Harry handing Louis a towel before calling through to his housekeeper to ring his pool maintenance guy.

“Let’s have a shower,” Harry said, taking hold of Louis’ hand and leading him inside. “Then I need to make a phone call. But I want to take you out for dinner later on.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” They walked into the bathroom, which was _obscene._ The shower could easily fit ten people, and the far wall was just a glass window which was concealed from the outside with trees. There was a huge bath on the other side of the room and, as nice as Harry’s London and Manchester homes were, this was the first time Louis wished he was rich and lived this lifestyle. “I know some discreet places, and anyway. Haven’t you heard? I’ve been known to date men.”

Louis smiled softly. “I did hear. Well done, I’m very proud. How did it, um… was the response okay?”

Harry’s mouth tightened and he shrugged. “It was… what was to be expected. I mean, yeah. It was fine.”

Louis reached out and took Harry’s hand. Harry smiled, recovering and reaching his free hand out to whip the towel from around Louis’ waist.

“Get in, you. Make that water nice and hot.”

Louis did as he was told as Harry took the towel to the hamper in the corner. Steam quickly filled the shower and just when Louis was starting to wonder where Harry had gone, ambient lights flooded the shower and the door opened. Steam billowed out and Harry stepped in, grinning.

“Lighting’s cool, right?”

“Yeah.”

Harry smirked at him, grabbing his hips and pushing him harshly backwards into the spray of the shower. Louis pouted, closing his eyes as the water fell onto his hair and over his face.

“What was that for?! Dick.”

Harry’s mouth was by Louis’ ear as he giggled softly. “You know I just _love_ making you wet.”

“Oh, you are so funny!” Louis said sarcastically. He grabbed Harry by the elbows and pulled him closer. “You deserve to be wet, too.”

Harry kissed him and Louis responded immediately. They stepped sideways out of the spray and their wet, dripping faces slid together easily. Harry slipped his tongue into Louis’ mouth and they moved together as one, clinging to each other.

It was… different. Between the two of them, kissing was usually a prelude, used to initiate sex or to enhance the bond during. But Harry made no move to take it further, his hands still firmly on Louis’ hips and for some reason, something about that really, really pleased Louis.

Harry finally released his grip and moved his hands to Louis’ face. He cradled Louis’ head as he continued to kiss him, sucking and licking at his mouth, and Louis felt dizzy. His mouth felt raw and swollen, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He pulled Harry closer and when their cocks bumped, he noticed Harry was half hard. Just from kissing.

Louis moaned softly as he nibbled gently on Harry’s bottom lip. He held it between his teeth and tickled it with his tongue and Harry whined pitifully, going a little limp in Louis’ arms. His fingers were gently rubbing behind Louis’ ears and butterflies fluttered wildly in Louis’ stomach. He ignored the foreboding feeling that replaced it immediately afterwards.

Harry finally pulled away, panting. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Louis replied dumbly.

“Let’s, um…” Harry cleared his throat. “Let’s wash, then we can head to dinner.”

Louis let Harry lather him up, writhing as his hands slid all over his body, finding their way to his cock. Harry ground against him as he tugged him to orgasm and Harry quickly washed himself as Louis braced himself against the glass window and caught his breath. When Harry was all clean, Louis dropped to his knees and blew his cock _and_ his mind.

Once they managed to get out of the shower, Harry lent Louis some smart clothes and they dressed, before Harry drove them to the restaurant. Louis had never seen Harry drive and it was a bit weird. The whole thing was weird. It almost felt like a date and Louis was nervous. The strange, niggling feeling he kept experiencing was back, prodding at him throughout the entire car journey and turned into full blown anxiety by the time they were seated at their table.

“Ooh,” Harry said indulgently as he looked over the menu. “I think I fancy steak.”

Louis held his menu open in front of him but he was watching Harry as he furrowed his brow and mused over his choices.

“Do you do this a lot out here, then?”

“What? Go for dinner?” Harry asked with a smirk.

“Take your groupies for posh meals.”

The smirk melted off of Harry’s face and he looked at Louis in confusion, hurt swiftly building in his expression. Fuck. Louis searched his brain for something to say that would soften the blow.

Harry looked back down at his menu, staring at it stubbornly.

“We’ve never been out for a meal before,” Louis said, feigning enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’s nice. Right?”

A small, forced smile appeared on Harry’s face. It crushed Louis a little bit.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

“We’ve eaten together a lot of times, though.” Louis looked at the menu with nervous eyes. “Might get steak, too.”

“Yeah, whatever you want.”

Dinner was quiet. Louis felt like a piece of shit for ruining the evening, maybe even the weekend. No. He was determined not to let that happen. As they drove back to Harry’s, Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh and squeezed.

A small smile crept onto Harry’s face as he kept his eyes on the road. When Louis slid his hand further up, his smile got bigger and his lips parted to show his teeth.

“Behave, you. I’ll crash this bloody car.” Harry glanced sideways. “Two hand jobs and a fuck not enough for you?”

“Can never get enough of you.”

“Hm,” Harry replied, smile still on his face.

-

Louis rode Harry like a pro and, as they laid side by side on Harry’s bed catching their breath, Louis hoped he’d made up for upsetting him.

“Fuck, that was intense.” Harry sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Well, I missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” Harry draped an arm across Louis’ stomach. “Hey, Lou?”

“Hm?”

“Um…” Harry paused before sighing. “You do know you’re more to me than just a groupie?”

“Oh. Well…” Louis shrugged noncommittally.

“You’ve done so much for me. You’ve let me trust you and you haven’t let me down. I rely on you a lot, you know? I don’t know what you are to me, but you’re not a _groupie,_ Louis.”

“Okay,” Louis said quietly. He stubbornly tried not to think about the implications of what Harry was saying. It all felt very real, very scary.

Harry hesitated before leaning in and kissing Louis’ cheek. “You know what I fancy? A hot chocolate. You want one? Not to brag, but I really make the best hot chocolate.”

Louis grinned. “Ooh. Grammy Award winning lothario rock star. Good at performing, good at sex, good at making hot chocolate.”

“Shut up.” Harry chuckled. “I know you don’t believe any of that crap you read about me.”

“What did I say that wasn’t true?” Louis laughed. “No, no. You’re right. No one should believe those horrible rumours that you’re good in bed.”

Harry smirked widely and shook his head. “You take that back.”

“No, no. You’re… awful.”

“Your gaping arsehole begs to differ.”

Louis’ jaw dropped. “Excuse me, I have a lovely, tight hole.”

“Not right now, you don’t.”

“Harry!” Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck, giggling. “Stop it.”

Harry ran the back of a finger over Louis’ cheek. “Alright. You have a lovely, pretty little hole. Better? I’m going to make the hot chocolate.”

-

Louis woke up alone and feeling very rested. He popped to the bathroom for a wee and was alarmed to see a message written on the mirror in what, on closer inspection, Louis realised was red lipstick.

_‘Gone for a meeting! BORING! Back for lunch. ENJOY YOURSELF. H xx’_

Louis grinned, before catching his own reflection through the scrawled message. He stared at himself and sighed. The situation was getting out of hand. He needed to do something.

For now, he might as well enjoy being here. He briefly entertained the idea of going out but quickly decided against it. Maybe he could convince Harry to take him to the beach later, but for now, he headed to the kitchen where Harry’s housekeeper promptly placed a plate of food out for him.

“Thank you, um… I don’t know your name!”

“Wendy,” she replied. “And you are Louis.”

“I am.” Louis smiled. “Thanks for the breakfast.”

“You are welcome. Pool is clean. Go out in the sun. You need sun.”

“Oh!” Louis laughed. “Thanks very much.”

“Too pale. Go. I’ll bring iced tea.”

Louis did as he was told and, after he’d eaten breakfast, he changed into his swim shorts. He laid in the sun for an hour until he couldn’t take the heat any longer. He slipped into the pool to cool off and he enjoyed the sound of birds chirping as he neatly cut through the water.

When Louis was a kid, he loved swimming. Was even pretty good at it. If he was rich and had a pool, he reckoned he’d swim every day. As it was, he swam for so long, he didn’t even realise Harry had returned.

“Honey, I’m home!” Harry grinned as he emerged from the house. “What you up to?”

Louis cocked an eyebrow as he came to a stop at the edge of the pool. “Brushing up on my javelin throwing.”

Harry laughed. “Well, you’re stuck with me for a bit. I have to pop out later to get papped, but until then-”

“You have to go out to get papped?”

“Yeah.” Harry let out a nervous laugh. “I’m an interesting story at the moment, aren’t I? Shocking revelations about my sexuality, and all that.”

Louis snorted. “Take it from me, someone who used to be your fan: there was nothing _shocking_ about that _revelation,_ to anyone.”

“Oi, what do you mean, _used_ to be?” Harry raised his eyebrows. “You aren’t a fan anymore?”

“Oh, shut up.” Louis grinned. “‘Fan’ is hardly the label you’d put on me now.”

“True.”

Louis placed his palms on the edge of the pool and pulled himself up. Harry tracked his movement as he sat on the edge of the pool and pushed his hair away from his face, water trickling down his back.

“So.” He climbed to his feet and stood in front of Harry, grinning. “You fancy going inside and easing a bit of tension from that meeting?”

Harry looked away and inhaled deeply. “Um, not right now. Maybe later? Let’s just chill out, relax.”

“Oh.” Louis raised his eyebrows. “Very unlike you to turn down sex on a plate. You okay?”

“I’m fine. I do other stuff apart from fuck, you know.”

“Hm.” Louis sat down on a sun lounger and squinted up at Harry. “Well, what do you wanna do?”

“Oh, I dunno.” Harry started to unbutton his shirt. “Just hang out.”

Harry stripped to his boxers and laid down on the sun lounger next to Louis. It had been years since Louis had been on holiday. He’d been so jealous of James going to Rome and now he was in LA, sunbathing at a rock star’s million dollar house.

That part didn’t feel as good as it used to. Louis turned his head to look at Harry, who was an absolute vision as the sun hit his beautiful face, his skin starting to glisten with sweat. His brow was furrowed and Louis wondered what was going through his mind, if something was troubling him. He was likely still clouded with symptoms of withdrawal, and Louis ached for him. He was so, so worried about what would happen if Harry fell off the wagon.

Harry hummed, and Louis darted his eyes away. “I’m gonna go and ask Wendy to cook us some lunch. She makes the most amazing turkey burgers. They’re more interesting than they sound, I promise!”

Harry leapt off the sun lounger and disappeared into the house. Louis sighed and looked out at the view. He wanted to commit it all to memory: the view, the house, Harry. Louis had one year of university left and he wondered where he’d be in a year’s time. What he’d be doing.

“Is there anything you want to do while you’re out here?” Harry asked as he returned from the house and took his place on the lounger. “Anything you wanted to see?”

“We should go on one of those tours where they tell you where all the celebrities live!” Louis grinned.

“Ha! We can take a walk down the street and I can do that for you for free.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Louis sighed airily. “No, there’s nothing, really. I’d like to go to the beach, though. Do you think you could get away with that?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve got a bit of freedom around here, actually. No one really cares who I am. You wanna go tomorrow?”

“Sounds good.”

Harry nodded and leaned over to kiss Louis. “Perfect.”

-

When Harry returned from his obligatory pap walk, he seemed tense so Louis gave him a full body massage which left them both with boners. Harry thanked Louis with a blow job and insisted that Louis just watch him wank himself off, which was an entirely different type of obscene. Like when Louis watched him on Facetime, Harry was rough with himself and it spiked arousal in Louis. When Harry came, it was whilst straddling Louis’ waist and kissing his mouth.

“I might take a break from music,” Harry mused later that night when they went to bed. “Maybe do some acting?”

“Hm?” Louis yawned. “Yeah, I think you’d be good.”

“My therapist says she thinks it would be good for me to have the new challenge.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Whatever you decide, I think you’ve got a long career ahead of you. The world’s at your feet.”

“Thank you,” Harry whispered.

-

As Louis stirred into consciousness, he could tell it was light before he’d even opened his eyes. He could hear soft, little grunting sounds and he frowned in confusion as he pulled his eyes open. As he turned over he recognised a familiar, wet sound and he gasped when his eyes fell on Harry.

Harry had three fingers in his arse, thrusting in and out of himself and moaning softly, stifling himself, likely to keep from disturbing Louis. He had his back to Louis, who watched in fascination for a few seconds before reaching out to place a hand on Harry’s bum cheek.

“You need help, babe?”

“Ugh,” Harry croaked. “N-no. Just wanna… can I ride you?”

Louis stifled a yawn. This was a lot to take in when he wasn’t fully awake yet, and the pounding of his heart contrasted with his sleepy body. “Yes, absolutely.”

“Condoms in the drawer,” Harry told him, and Louis felt pleased that Harry had finally started keeping his own condoms. He reached into the bedside table and tore open the packet, laying on his back and rolling the condom down his surprisingly hard cock.

Harry pulled his fingers from his hole and quickly turned to straddle Louis. He sunk down fairly quickly and Louis didn’t feel awake enough to cope. Harry started to fuck himself on Louis’ cock immediately, hard and fast, bouncing and whining indecently. He arched back, changing position and shouted obscenities as he desperately ground down, faster and faster until he started to come, completely untouched and he trembled and swore before slowing to a stop.

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned. “Thanks for letting me do that.”

Louis looked up at him, trembling and helpless. Harry panted as he pushed his sweaty hair away from his face. He pushed his fingers through the come streaked on his ribs and grinned down at Louis.

“One day, I’ll be too old to come this many times in 24 hours.”

“You?” Louis giggled softly. “You’ll never get old.”

Harry smiled and slipped his thumb into Louis’ mouth. Louis sucked at it and his cock twitched where it was still nestled deep inside of Harry.

“Sorry,” Harry said and started to move his hips again. “Ah, that’s sore.”

“Babe, I can sort myself out.” Louis groaned as Harry moved in a delicious circular motion. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Feels good, Lou.” Harry built up to a rhythm, snapping his hips sharply, which he knew did the job nicely. Louis was caught off guard by his orgasm as it built and crested, and then suddenly he pulsed inside of a grateful seeming Harry, filling the condom and panting with relief.

“Louis?” Harry climbed off of him and discarded the condom. He grabbed a tissue from his side table and wiped over his torso. “Do you get tested?”

“Yep.”

“So, why won’t you fuck me without a condom?”

Louis sighed. “We both need to be clean. It’s not just a case of who comes inside who.”

“Oh.” Harry pouted. “If I got tested, would you do it?”

Louis looked at him, chewing at his bottom lip. “Well, I suppose. Only, like, immediately after you get the results.”

“Hey!” Harry complained with a laugh. “I really don’t have that much sex, nowadays.”

Louis sighed inwardly. He didn’t want to be having this conversation, if he was honest. He didn’t want to come across as if he didn’t trust Harry, but…

“Anyway, I was just wondering. That’s all.” Harry sighed, throwing himself down on the bed next to Louis. “Wendy goes to church on Sunday mornings, so I’m afraid I’m going to make the breakfast.”

“Don’t burn the cereal!”

“Ha! Cereal.” Harry shook his head, his face set in false sincerity. “I’ll make you a proper breakfast.”

“Full English?”

“You’re in LA, mister. I don’t think so.”

Harry disappeared to get started and Louis pulled himself out of bed. His muscles were stiff. Having sex before his body had really woken up was quite the shock to the system. He stretched indulgently before checking his phone. It was 9am. Just over 12 hours until his flight. He sighed, plugging his phone in to charge and heading into the bathroom.

When he walked into the kitchen, Harry was wearing just an apron, dancing and humming along to the radio as he plated up the breakfast. The song playing was his own, and Louis shook his head and laughed.

“Your own music? Really?”

Harry spun around and grinned. “Well, I know the words to my stuff.”

“Barely.” Louis grinned. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Red velvet pancakes with a white chocolate drizzle.”

Louis stared, wide eyed. “Well. I’m impressed.”

“You haven’t eaten it yet,” Harry pointed out. “So, um. We’ll eat, then head to the beach? Maybe we can have a late lunch? A big meal to tide you over until you get on the plane.”

Louis nodded along as he cut through his stack of pancakes and popped a chunk into his mouth. He groaned in appreciation and Harry grinned.

“This is amazing.”

“You should’ve learned by now, Louis. I’m good at _everything_ I do.”

-

When Louis splashed into the ocean, he was full of joy. Three days ago, he was bored and lonely in Manchester, pondering whether he should use the weekend to catch up on a bit of spring cleaning. He could live with the flat being a bit dusty if it meant he was here instead. He turned back to the beach where Harry was waving over to him and Louis felt… happy. Content. If this was his life, he would be able to live with that.

But it wasn’t. Nothing about this was even remotely his life. In 12 hours, he’d be on his way back home, chilling in business class as he soaked up his last bit of luxury before returning to his dingy, damp flat. He probably wouldn’t see Harry again for a month or more.

Louis waded out of the water and returned to Harry, laying down on the beach towel next to him.

“Got bored already?” Harry asked with a grin.

“No. I just realised I should be with you while I can be.”

“Aww.” Harry beamed. “That’s lovely.”

They laid in the sun for a while before Harry took Louis on a little walk, showing him some of his favourite places. Contrary to what Harry had said, he got recognised twice and stopped to chat to fans as Louis tried to look casual. They headed to lunch at a restaurant owned by a friend of Harry’s and were seated in the back.

“This weekend has been so nice. Thanks for bringing me out here, H.”

“You’re welcome.” Harry smiled sincerely. “We never got to play in my game room though!”

“You could have told me you have a game room!” Louis scoffed. “Although it’s probably good I got a bit of sun. Wendy told me I was too pale, you know.”

Harry cackled loudly, undignified in such a nice restaurant. Louis smiled, endeared.

“I told you, she’s just intolerant to us Brits. She thinks we’re all polite, pasty liars.”

As they headed back to Harry’s to fetch Louis’ things, Louis wondered to himself what Harry would be like as a boyfriend. He was a very loving man, for starters. He was generous - maybe to a fault - and he could be very gentle when he wanted to be.

But aside from practicalities such as the fact he was always away on tour, Harry was in no state to commit to another person. He had trouble looking after himself at times and Louis reckoned a relationship with Harry would be an unfulfilling and frustrating one.

They arrived at the airport and Harry was pouting worse than ever. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face Louis.

“I wish I could take you inside to say goodbye.”

“Aw, don’t worry.” Louis smiled reassuringly. “Um. See you soon?”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Definitely.”

He cradled the back of Louis’ head and kissed him gently, sighing against his mouth.

“Bye, Louis.”

-

Louis couldn’t stop thinking about Harry and he hated himself for it. Why the fuck had Harry dragged Louis out to LA like that? He’d just been selfish. Louis felt itchy with the need to see Harry and that wasn’t okay. This was supposed to be just sex. Nobody was supposed to pine for anybody.

It was just that it had been a few years now. And yes, Harry was incredible in bed, but he was also a wonderful man. Brilliant company. It was inevitable that Louis would grow to care for him.

Louis went back to uni for his final year and couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d do once he graduated. He had taken on Linguistics on a whim, if he was honest, and all his career options seemed a bit grown up for him.

He was sitting in the university library and was Googling what qualifications he needed to become a clown (there was a Clown Academy down in London, he discovered) when someone approached and leaned close to him.

“Is this seat taken?”

“No.”

“So… can you move your bag?”

Louis looked up to see a large, blonde man smirking down at him. Louis scoffed softly, moving his bag and quickly closing his Chrome tab where he’d Googled _‘help i want to be a clown’._ He discreetly angled his laptop away as he opened Harry’s Instagram.

His latest photo was of him and Ed Sheeran hanging out in the studio. Louis smiled to himself, recalling his only memory of Ed in the flesh, as an observer of Harry’s sex party where Louis had first met Joe.

Louis wondered where Joe had disappeared to. He decided he’d ask Harry next time they met. Whenever that would be.

“Excuse me?” the blonde man next to Louis whispered. “Can I borrow your pen? Just for a minute? This one, sitting here? Since you’re not using it.”

Louis looked at him like he was mad. “What? Yeah, whatever.”

“Thanks. I’ll give it back.”

Louis double clicked on the picture of Harry and Ed to like it before clicking through to Ed’s profile. It was mainly full of photos of concert crowds but a few rows down, Louis found a photo of Harry.

He was wearing a cap backwards and was mid-cackle, shrugging with his hands spread out in the air. Louis propped his elbow on the table and put his chin in his palm, sighing loudly. A jolt of something, panic or anxiety, or something like that, shot through him and he suddenly snapped his laptop closed and packed his things up. He darted out of the library, no doubt attracting strange looks from people as he passed them. Once he was outside, he took a deep breath of fresh air. He didn’t know what his problem was, he just needed to get out of the library.

He pulled his phone out and quickly tapped out a text to Liam.

_‘Where are you guys atm? Louis x’_

Louis adjusted the shoulder strap of his laptop bag as he stared at his phone, waiting for a reply.

“Hey. Hey!”

Louis turned around to see the blonde guy from the library running towards him. Louis took another glance down at his phone before looking back up at the man.

“You forgot your pen, mate!” He spoke with a thick Australian accent and Louis was surprised he hadn’t noticed it back in the library. “I’m a man of my word. I said I’d return it, so…”

“That’s extremely honest of you, lad.” Louis nodded in acknowledgment as he took the pen. “Thanks. Are you Australian?”

“Yeah, I just arrived this year to study. Neuroscience.”

“Fucking hell!” Louis laughed, just as his phone vibrated in his hand.

_‘Finland, sorry mate! Regards, Liam.’_

Louis sighed inwardly and slipped his phone into his pocket. “Well, it’s a great campus. I’m Louis.”

“Craig.” Craig held his hand out and Louis shook it. “I really have to go, but… thanks for the pen!”

Louis grinned, waving as Craig walked backwards for a few steps before turning and heading off. Louis sighed. He’d had little hope that Harry was nearby, but he was disappointed all the same. Still, he’d planned to go for pizza later with James, and if he’d bailed on James again he’d never have heard the end of it.

Not that he ever heard the end of _anything_ with James, as he discovered that night.

“I’m not trying to be mean, but now that I’ve left uni, you’ve not really got any friends there.” James smiled condescendingly and Louis bit his tongue. “All your social time is spent with-”

“Yes, I know,” Louis snapped. He was getting sick and tired of talking about Harry with James. “Just don’t… don’t say it.”

“Did you know the university has an LGBTQ Society? It feels like the kind of thing you’d be interested in, Louis. You could help out, or just meet up with some of the members for a coffee.”

“Oh. No, I don’t think-”

“Will you please just go? Just once? For me?”

-

_“I baked these especially,”_ James had said. _“If you don’t go, I’ll literally kill you.”_

Louis sighed as he walked into the small hall and approached the table filled to the brim with baked goods. He frowned, trying to work out where to put his cakes.

“Need some help?”

Louis turned around to smile helplessly at a small, smiley girl with purple hair.

“Oh, um. I’m trying to find a place for my cupcakes... that I definitely baked myself.”

The girl smirked and cocked a thumb behind her. “Help me bring that table over here?”

Louis agreed and as they grabbed either end of the table the girl said, “I’m Jade. You’re new, yeah?”

“Um… yeah. Well. Not new to uni or the community, just… new here.”

Jade’s face brightened as they released the table. “Okay, fantastic! Welcome! Do you have a name?”

“I’m Louis. I was coerced into coming.”

“You’re here, that’s the important thing.” Jade reached out to squeeze Louis’ arm. “And thanks for the cupcakes that you definitely made yourself. What flavour are they?”

“I think they’re red velvet. But with pink icing. And rainbow sprinkles.”

“A nice touch!” Jade laughed as Louis’ phone started to ring. “I’ll find you later, okay?”

Louis nodded and smiled. He felt more at ease than he thought he would. Maybe James was right, not that Louis would ever tell him so. He pulled his phone from his pocket and was startled to see Liam’s name on the display.

“Hello?”

_“Hi! It’s me!”_

“Hi, me!” Louis grinned. “How are you doing?”

_“I’m good,”_ Harry said. _“What’s going on?”_

“I’m actually at an LGBTQ bake sale, about to stuff my face.”

_“Oh? That’s so awesome! I’d love to go to something like that. Will you take a photo and send it to me? To Liam’s phone?”_

“Sure, I’ll take some after we hang up.”

_“Thanks. Sooo, I’m home Tuesday. I was wondering if you were free.”_

“In the evening, yeah. Just get Liam to text me.”

_“Wonderful! Okay, umm… I’ll see you Tuesday, then. I’ll let you get back to your cake party.”_

Louis giggled. “Alright, see you Tuesday. Bye!”

Louis snapped a few photos and sent them to Liam’s phone. He spotted Jade walking over and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“There’s tea and coffee over by that wall, and we’re expecting a few more cakes yet. Do you want to meet some people?”

“Maybe later,” Louis said with an apologetic smile. “I’d rather just take it all in for a bit.”

“Come find me if you need to.”

“Thanks, Jade.”

Louis leaned against a wall and dwelled on the unusual sensation of feeling a bit shy. Louis Tomlinson was not a shy boy, but for some reason he was a little nervous about being here. In a club, Louis knew how to own the room. He’d pulled a rock star for God’s sake.

Being here wasn’t about sex, though, and Louis didn’t know how to function.

“Hi!”

Louis turned to his left and was surprised to see Craig walking over to him.

“Craig, hi.”

Craig pushed his hands into his pockets, gave Louis an awkward smile, and looked around awkwardly. His shoulders were tense and Louis wondered if he was nervous, too.

“You been to one of these before?” Louis asked him.

“A bake sale?”

Louis rolled his eyes with a grin. “An LGBTQ event.”

“Oh! Nope. Thought I’d give it a go, for the sake of cake.”

Louis giggled. “Same. It’s my first time, or I’d introduce you to people. Although I have met one person. Come with me.”

Louis introduced Craig to Jade, and Craig seemed to grow less tense as they chatted. He had to admit that James had been right. It was nice to meet new people. And he already felt good about the fact that he had a hand in making Craig feel welcome here.

The bake sale officially started and Louis made himself a cup of tea. He watched everybody milling around, hoping he didn’t look creepy. Jade brought over a few people to meet him, and after a while he decided to mingle. He approached Craig who had been doing a much better job of it.

“So, how many cakes have you eaten?”

Craig turned his head and laughed, eyes twinkling. “I lost count somewhere around eight.”

“Did you, um, try the red velvet with pink icing and rainbow sprinkles? Because I definitely made them.”

“They were amazing. You’re a really talented baker, Louis.”

Louis smiled, amused. “Thank you. Well, I lied about making them. But I will happily pass on the compliment to my flatmate.”

“So, you’re a liar.” Craig smirked. “I’ll bear that in mind.”

Louis cocked his head and opened his mouth to speak when Jade bounded over, her previous mark of professionalism slipping and a wild look in her eyes. She was trailed by another girl who had dirty blonde hair scraped up into a messy bun.

“Guys? This is Jesy, my girlfriend!”

Louis grinned at how excited she seemed. Jesy smiled and held a hand up in greeting.

“Hi,” Louis said.

“Hi! It’s good to meet you.” Craig smiled, glancing at Louis. “It’s, um. It’s our first time here.”

“Jade told me. She’s very excited about it. I’m fairly new here. I met this one a few months ago and she dragged me along, and I’m so glad she did. It’s so nice to be able to spend time helping other members of the community.”

Louis nodded and smiled, knowing there and then he’d be attending more of these events.

-

At £1 a cake, they’d somehow managed to raise over £200 during the bake sale, and Louis couldn’t believe it. He and Craig left together, promising Jade they’d be back for another event soon. Before they parted ways, Louis pulled Craig into a hug.

“See you soon,” he said. “Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it. If you need anything…”

“Oh. Thanks!” Craig handed his phone over after they pulled away. “That’s so nice.”

“Well, I _am_ nice!” Louis smirked. “Take care. Good luck with all the neurology.”

Craig snorted in amusement, throwing Louis a smile as he turned to leave. Louis headed towards his own flat, cake tin under arm. When he got home, James was sitting in the kitchen.

“Well?” he asked.

“It was… yeah. Fun.”

“And…”

_“And_ I made friends. Happy?”

“Yes. And…”

Louis rolled his eyes. “The cakes went down a storm, thank you very much.”

-

The LGBTQ Society took a group trip to the cinema and, by the time the film ended, Louis was feeling a bit delicate. The film had been horrendously gory and, if he was honest, when Craig asked him to go for a coffee afterwards, he was grateful to not have to go home just yet. James was out and Louis didn't want to be alone.

“One tea, milk, no sugar,” Craig announced as he placed a cup in front of Louis and sat down opposite him.

“Thanks,” Louis murmured. “What do I owe you?”

“Oh, no. Don’t worry about it.”

Louis smiled. “Thank you.”

“You okay? You seem distracted.”

Aside from feeling traumatised from the film, Louis was thinking about the fact he was seeing Harry tomorrow night. He was really, really looking forward to it and he resented himself for that. He needed to get out of his Harry rut. He knew that.

“I’m sorry.” Louis fixed his face with a smile. “You have my entire attention.”

“Something you want to talk about?”

Louis sighed. “No, no. Don’t worry. How are you? Settling in?”

“Yeah! Everyone’s really nice. And I’m so glad I decided to check out the LGBTQ Society. They’ve been so welcoming.”

“They’re great.” Louis sipped at his tea, wincing when he realised it was still too hot to drink. “My flatmate made me go to that bake sale. Said I needed more friends. To be honest, I wish I’d gone sooner.”

Craig sipped his coffee thoughtfully. “I’m happy you did. I’m so glad I got to see you again.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiled softly. “Me, too.”

Craig cleared his throat. “I, um… I had a bit of anxiety about being out in a new place. I knew there was a society but you never know how these things work in practice. You know?”

“Yeah. You picked a great place, though. You don’t have to worry about that here.”

Craig smiled, relieved. “Good.”

“So… what did you do in Australia? Did you surf? Or rugby? You look like a lad who plays rugby.”

“Yeah!” Craig laughed. “I do play rugby. Never surfed though.”

“Ah. Disappointing.” Louis grinned as his phone vibrated. “It’s like you’re not even Australian.”

“I resent that, mate!” Craig replied, putting on a strong, stereotypical Australian accent.

Louis laughed as he picked his phone up and read the text from Liam on his screen.

_‘Come to mine? I’ll be home from about 4pm, come round whenever you’re free. H x’_

Louis smiled, replying to say he’d be there around six. He looked up when Craig sighed, and refocused his attention.

“It’s good to come here and get a fresh start, in a way. I was from quite a small town, so it’s good to come here, you know, a huge city where nobody knows me. Nobody judges me.”

Louis looked at him and smiled encouragingly. “Well, I hope we’ll always make you feel welcome. No judgements here. And it sounds like the LGBTQ Society will be good for you.”

“Thanks, Louis.” Craig grinned shyly.

They were kicked out after their drinks as the coffee shop was closing, so they parted ways with a hug and Louis reluctantly headed home. To his surprise, James was already home.

“And where have you been?” James asked. “Harry?”

“No. I went to the cinema with some of the society, then went for coffee with a friend.”

James beamed, looking pleased and a little bit smug.

-

**_Zayn Malik reveals the SHOCKING TRUTH behind Harry Styles rumours_ **

**_\---_ **

When Harry opened the front door, he was wearing just shorts and a huge smile. He tilted his head and stood aside to let Louis in.

“No security patting me down, today?”

“No,” Harry said as he shut the door. “But I can give you a once over, if you’d like.”

Louis hummed out a laugh as he started to strip off his clothes. Harry folded his arms, watching with a grin.

“Not wasting any time?”

Louis laughed again. He approached Harry and grabbed his hips, pulling him close. His heart skipped a beat as he watched Harry’s eyes dancing, twinkling in the light of the hallway.

“Well, I missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” Harry kissed him sweetly. “You been alright?”

Louis closed his eyes and revelled in the feeling of having Harry close again. He inhaled the subtle scent of Harry’s deodorant and sighed.

“Yeah.” Louis ran his palm down Harry’s body and slipped his fingertips under the waistband of his shorts. “How have you been?”

Harry gasped quietly as Louis slid his hand in further and his fingertips grazed his cock. “Been good. Missed you.”

“You already said that, babe,” Louis teased quietly.

Harry nodded. His breathing quickened as Louis wrapped his fingers around his cock. His eyes fluttered closed and Louis grinned to himself.

_“Really_ missed you,” Harry said.

“Yeah?” Louis softly kissed Harry’s neck. “Tell me how much.”

“Um…” Harry stuttered, moving even closer to Louis. “Wanked over you as soon as I got home.”

“Oh, yeah?” Louis stepped around Harry to stand behind him. He pushed Harry’s shorts down and they hit the floor with a soft thud. “What else?”

“I…” Harry sighed and gripped onto Louis’ hand. “I haven’t fucked anyone since I last saw you.”

Louis stilled. “Seriously?”

Harry nodded and pushed his bum back against Louis’ cock. Louis automatically thrusted into the contact and was taken aback when his cock hit something solid.

“Harry?” Louis asked, slightly amused. “What’s this, hm?”

Louis slipped a finger between Harry’s arse cheeks and fingered the base of the plug. Harry let out a soft groan.

“Please?” Harry whispered. “Will you fuck me?”

“Of course, darling.” Louis pushed and pulled at the plug experimentally, delighting at the way Harry’s breath caught in his throat. “Get upstairs, then.”

Harry quickly stepped out of his shorts, leaving them on the floor and trotted up the stairs with Louis following closely. Harry led Louis away from his bedroom and into what looked to be a spare room.

“What’s wrong with your room, eh?” Louis asked as he got his hands back on Harry, poking at the plug teasingly.

“We’ve already had sex in there,” Harry replied. “Come on, fuck me. Wanna fuck in here.”

Louis scoffed as Harry scrambled onto the bed and stuck his arse in the air. Louis moaned and started to stroke over his own cock.

“Harry? Do you have condoms?”

“Oh… uh… in my room.”

“Can I go in and get one, love?”

Harry nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

Louis hurried down the hall to Harry’s room. When he got inside, the bed was messed up and there was an uncapped bottle of lube sitting on the crumpled sheets. The bedside table drawer was left open and Louis trotted over to fetch a condom from it. As he tore one from a strip, he stared at the bed and imagined Harry on it earlier, fingering himself open, thinking about Louis.

“Harry fucking Styles,” Louis murmured to himself. “What do you do to me?”

As Louis made to leave the room, he noticed a pad of Post-It notes on Harry’s desk. He quickly grabbed hold of a pen.

_‘Miss you already, you lovely man xx’_

Louis chewed at his bottom lip, wondering if it was a bit much. He knew Harry would like it, and that was all that mattered. He picked up the condom and made his way back to the spare room.

“Fuck.”

Harry had removed the plug and had four fingers in his arse, groaning as he rocked back onto them. He turned his head to look at Louis as he walked back in the room.

“Please, Lou.”

“I’m coming, baby.” Louis rolled the condom on as he approached the bed, settling behind Harry and grabbing hold of his wrist to gently ease Harry’s hand out. “You ready?”

“Come on!”

Louis let out a breathless laugh as he pushed into Harry slowly. Harry groaned in frustration, rocking back as best he could. Louis grabbed his hips and quickly bottomed out, not wasting any time in increasing his speed to fall in time with Harry’s desperate movements.

“Louis, Lou. I…” Harry paused to growl out a moan. “I want you to…”

“Baby, what?” Louis pounded into Harry, knocking the air out of him as he tried to speak. “What do you need? Anything.”

Harry whined. “Come in me, Louis. Just… I know you won’t, you know, but…”

Harry started to bounce his arse upwards and Louis interrupted him with a loud, languid moan. Harry’s train of thought was lost and Louis felt his orgasm building, the way their bodies slammed together feeling and sounding delicious to him and as he felt the tension in his body cresting, he reluctantly pulled out of a loudly complaining Harry and ripped the condom off.

He tugged at his cock, staring at Harry’s hole as his tip nudged against it. He smeared precome around Harry’s rim, and Harry groaned loudly in pleasure.

“Louis! So good, my God…”

It was. Harry’s puckered, wet hole against Louis’ sensitive, bare tip felt absolutely incredible. Louis stroked over his cock, nudging at Harry’s rim and gasping. Harry was rocking backwards and Louis’ tip pushed inside Harry.

“Fuck,” Louis said with a groan. It felt every bit as satisfying as he always imagined it would and he knew he should pull out but Harry’s body was drawing him in and, in the moment, all he could think about was how fucking amazing it felt. He pushed all the way in - to the absolute, vocal delight of Harry - and snapped his hips desperately. It only took a few seconds before he came, deep inside Harry, pulsing and trembling. Harry was whining pathetically and Louis pulled out slowly and sat back on his heels, panting.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I… I didn’t mean to…”

“Thank you, thank you.” Harry was trying to catch his breath. He looked over his shoulder. “Put the plug back in. Please.”

Louis picked the glass plug up from the bedside table and slowly pushed it into Harry’s hole, watching as Harry flinched.

“I, um…” Louis mumbled as Harry flipped himself over and started to tug at his own cock.

“You okay?” Harry asked before biting his bottom lip and stifling a groan.

Louis nodded and watched as Harry quickly and efficiently brought himself to orgasm, spurting onto his stomach before sighing in relief.

“Mm,” Louis hummed. “Gorgeous.”

Harry gave him a tense smile. “Come here, love.”

Louis laid down next to him. He was disappointed in himself, it he was honest. He’d done so well for such a long time, even with Harry practically begging at times. Oh well. It was done.

“Louis?”

“I got carried away, Haz, I’m sorry.”

Harry giggled softly. “Don’t apologise to me. I’ve wanted you to do it for ages. But are you alright?”

Louis sighed and kissed Harry on the shoulder. “Yeah.”

“It felt amazing.”

“Yeah, it did. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Well, it’s good to know you’re human.” Harry giggled softly. “We all make mistakes sometimes, as you once told me.”

“I suppose.” Louis looked up at Harry. “I didn’t know you were into plugs.”

“They’re not something I use often. I was just so horny when I got home and I didn’t wanna waste any time once you got here.”

“And now?”

“Just wanna keep you in there a bit longer,” Harry replied with a coy smile.

-

Louis walked out of the Sexual Health Clinic, feeling sorry for himself. He’d already had a little freak out about it earlier, but he’d pulled himself together enough to get practical. Once he did, he knew the only option was to get up early to come and get tested before class, but now he was fucking tired. To top it all off, they sent him away and told him it was far too early to even test for anything. He booked an appointment for a few week’s time and trudged off to class.

Of all the people to have unprotected sex with. He mentally kicked himself. He had just got carried away in the heat of the moment, and he absolutely could not let it happen again. Surely Harry got tested sometimes. It would be a miracle for him not to catch something, with the amount of unprotected sex he had. Louis wondered if he should encourage him.

As he walked through campus and past the coffee shop, he spotted Craig coming out, looking very much like he needed the huge coffee he was carrying. Coffee sounded amazing right now.

“Hi! You look how I feel,” Craig said.

“I’m knackered.” Louis sighed. “How are you?”

“Up too late writing an essay. Thank God for coffee. Were you studying too?”

“No.” Louis sighed and grinned shyly at Craig. “In the interests of encouraging good sexual health, I’ll tell you that I had to go and book an appointment to get tested. I was a very bad and irresponsible boy last night.”

Craig raised his eyebrows, staring down at his coffee. “Oh.”

“I would like to state for the record that I’m usually very good.”

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Louis.”

Louis laughed. “I don’t want you thinking that I make a habit of being irresponsible. You might follow my example.”

Craig shook his head with a grin. “I don’t need your encouragement to be irresponsible.”

“Is that so?!” Louis replied, shrugging in interest. They walked through campus and Louis looked around at the autumn leaves that covered the grass and the paths. It was Louis’ favourite time of year and a feeling of content washed over him. “I’ll bear that in mind.”

Craig was smiling, seeming pleased and thoughtful. Louis took advantage of his distracted demeanor and snatched his coffee out of his hand, taking an almighty gulp.

“Oi!”

“Thanks, love.” Louis handed the coffee back and flashed a sweet smile. “Right, I’d better dash. See you soon?”

“Um, Louis?” Craig cleared his throat. “Everyone’s going out on Friday night. You going? It’ll be my first time in Canal Street!”

Louis snorted. “Bless. Um, sure. Pencil me in.”

“Pencil you in?” Craig smirked. “Who even says that?”

“Well, I might have… something else to do!”

Louis never really made many concrete plans. It had just become his way. He’d never said no to Harry and he lived his life making sure he never had to.

“Something else to do? ‘Pencil me in’. Honestly.”

“Fine, fine!” Louis laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll come. Happy?”

-

Of course, Louis got a text from Liam asking him to see Harry on Friday evening. He considered flaking but he knew Craig would never let him hear the end of it.

_‘Sorry, can’t tonight. I’m free Sat? Tell him I’m really sorry! Louis x’_

Louis sighed. Anxiety thrummed under his skin at telling Harry no, but he felt like he needed to start doing it more. Harry couldn’t and shouldn’t be his entire world. James was right. It wasn’t healthy.

Louis spent a good while getting ready on Friday night and by the time he left his flat, he felt on top of the world. It wasn’t exactly that he’d dressed for pulling - he didn’t really have any desire to do that - but he’d definitely dressed for pulling. He used to get a kick out of disappointing every man in a gay club, and it was time to see if he still did.

He grabbed himself a vodka and lemonade as soon as they got inside and Jesy got a round of shots in. There were only five of them there: Louis, Craig, Jade, Jesy, and a fresher named Tim. Louis danced with Tim for a bit while he waited for the alcohol to take effect.

He shrugged off every man who tried to interject and Louis realised he definitely still got a rush at turning people down. Did that make him a dick? Maybe. But Louis loved being made to feel sexy. Harry made him feel sexy.

A man finally succeeded in interjecting between Louis and Tim, and it was Craig.

“I brought you another shot,” Craig shouted into his ear.

“Yeah!” Louis took it and downed it, wincing. “Ugh, what the fuck was that?”

Craig just giggled and started to dance with Louis. The club was playing relentless trance music and Louis jumped up and down, waving his arms around until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Think I’m gonna sit down,” Louis told Craig.

“Alright. The girls got a booth in the back.”

Louis headed towards the back and found Jade and Jesy in a booth. They were kissing - sucking face, more like - slow and filthy, and Louis slipped in opposite them, eyes wide.

“Get a fuckin’ room.” They ignored him, and Louis felt his cheeks flush slightly when he remembered his first encounter with Harry, which happened to be in a private booth. He’d sunk to his knees and sucked Harry off, so he was one to talk, really.

Jade’s hand disappeared up Jesy’s dress and when Jesy moaned softly, Louis shuffled out of the booth.

“Ew, guys.”

As he turned away from the booth he walked straight into Craig. He teetered backwards slightly and Craig grabbed hold of his elbows, steadying him.

“You alright?” Craig laughed.

“You do not wanna see what is going on in that booth.”

“Oh? Shall we get a drink, then?”

Louis was extremely pleased to see Tim getting off with some lad on the dance floor. Craig leaned on the bar and Louis took a brief second to appreciate his large, athletic build before leaning on the bar next to him.

“It’s nice to see Tim looking so confident.”

“I know, bless him.” Craig ordered them both beers and handed the barman his debit card. “He deserves to get a bit of action.”

When their beers were placed in front of them, Louis took his and turned, leaning back on the bar.

“No one around here you got your eye on?”

“No, don’t think so.” Craig raised an eyebrow to Louis. “What about you?”

“Oh, no. I didn’t come here to pull, or anything.”

“Really?” Craig asked, cynical. “Well you could. You could have any man in here, I think.”

Louis turned his head to look at Craig and he was staring down at his beer bottle, picking at the label.

“Maybe.”

“Let’s dance.”

Louis let Craig drag him back out onto the dance floor. The trance music had eased off and was replaced with dance mixes of popular songs. In the back of Louis’ mind, he pleaded that they didn’t play anything of Harry’s.

Song after song played and Louis pushed Harry to the back of his mind, focusing on Craig who had moved closer, or had Louis moved closer? He didn’t know, but the next thing he knew, they were kissing and, in Louis’ alcohol-riddled brain, he reckoned it was nice to cut loose and have fun for the first time in a long time.

-

_‘H is in the studio all day, so not free I’m afraid. He says see you soon. Regards, Liam.’_

Louis sighed. He probably wasn’t in any state to see Harry, anyway. His head pounded with every movement and the smell of whatever James was cooking for lunch was turning Louis’ stomach like crazy.

Reluctantly, he threw on some sunglasses and left the flat. He needed the fresh air. He made the short walk to campus and sat on a bench outside the library, stewing in his own misery. He watched people come and go and thought over the night before.

He felt absolutely awful, but it was worth it. If he was honest, whenever he went out with Harry he couldn’t truly cut loose because he was always worrying about him. Louis scoffed quietly to himself. It wasn’t fair, really.

Just then, he spotted Craig coming out of the library. He wanted to call over to him but he’d hurt his own head so he settled for texting him.

Craig turned his head a few seconds later and smiled, making his way over to Louis’ bench.

“Think of all the times we must’ve walked past each other before we met. We’re always bumping into each other.”

“How do you look so fresh? That’s not fair.”

“I don’t feel very fresh.” Craig sat down next to Louis and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry about last night.”

“What about? What happened?! Did I forget? Oh, God.”

“Oh, um.” Craig widened his eyes and a blush coloured his cheeks. “We kissed?”

“Oh.” Louis sighed with relief and clutched his chest. “Don’t worry about that. I always snog all my mates on nights out.”

“Oh,” Craig said with a nervous laugh. “Okay.”

Louis looked at him. “You feel okay about it?”

“It was just, um…” Craig smiled sheepishly, staring out across the campus. “It’s just… the other day, I was kind of considering asking you out. But then you said that you’d been for a checkup and I-”

“God, what? You thought, ‘shit, I don’t wanna catch chlamydia’?”

“No!” Craig laughed in surprise. “I thought that maybe you were seeing someone.”

“Oh. Oh. No. Well…” Louis sighed. “Not in _that_ way.”

“Oh, right. Okay.”

Poor Craig looked tense, the air thick with awkwardness. It was unnecessary.

“So…” Louis started. “Am I supposed to give an answer?”

“What?”

“Well, I’m not sure if you’ve asked me out.”

Craig laughed. “I didn’t. But… I guess… do you wanna go out? For dinner or… something.”

-

Louis bit his bottom lip and threw his head back. A moan bubbled from his throat and, from the feeling surging through him, he knew he was close.

“Fuck,” he murmured. “You’re so good at this. How’d you get so good at sucking dick?”

Harry groaned loudly for emphasis as he sunk down further, the tip of his nose pressing into Louis’ skin. Louis’ arse was still twitching from where Harry had just fucked him and he knew it was a matter of seconds before he’d come.

“H-Harry…” Louis groaned.

Harry groaned again and looked up, making eye contact with Louis. Louis held his gaze as he started to come into Harry’s mouth and down his throat. Harry’s eyelids fluttered closed as he swallowed gratefully before slowly pulling off of Louis and shuffling to lay next to him.

Outside of sex, Harry had been uncharacteristically quiet today. He clung to Louis’ body as if he was scared that Louis would just disappear into thin air. Louis threw an arm behind Harry’s neck and started teasing the curls atop his head with his fingers.

“I’ve had the best time with you, you know,” Louis said quietly. “I’m so glad I snuck backstage at that concert.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh. He spread his palm across Louis’ stomach. “Me, too. You really are my favourite, you know?” He scoffed softly. “My only, at the moment.”

Louis felt an uncomfortable pang in his heart. “Oh?”

Harry shrugged. “Just… haven’t seen anyone else, that’s all. It would be different if I was on tour, but… Like, I’ve been mainly up here, close to you.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m heading down to London tomorrow to shoot a new music video.”

“Oh, yeah? What song?”

“Glass Half Empty.”

“Nice!” Louis tugged gently on Harry’s hair and Harry hummed in pleasure. “Can’t wait to see it, love.”

On Harry’s insistence, Louis stayed the night. Harry left early the next morning, leaving Louis in his bed. Louis stayed awake after Harry kissed him goodbye and let himself wake up gradually. He moved to Harry’s side of the bed and laid his head on his pillow, soaking up the natural smells of him. He took a shower and washed with Harry’s shower gel, got dressed, and used Harry’s deodorant and aftershave. He drove home feeling like Harry was in his car and, once he got home, he climbed into his bed and burst into tears.

-

“You look nice.”

Louis turned to see James walking into the living room. Louis finished tying the laces of his Vans and stood up. He straightened his shirt and approached the mirror to check his hair.

“It’s mine and Craig’s one month anniversary.”

“Ooh, one month!” James mocked. “When’s the wedding?!”

Louis turned to James and raised an eyebrow sassily. “This is what _you_ wanted, so don’t take the piss. I’ve not had a relationship last this long since I was seventeen.”

“Aw. I’m sorry. I’m very happy for you. You know I am.”

“Hm,” Louis hummed, grinning.

“Have fun.” James smiled. “Be good.”

“Aren’t I always?” Louis smirked. He checked the clock and he was running early for maybe the first time in his life.

A shock of anxiety hit him like a ton of bricks. Since he had the time, maybe he should just get it over with.

He pulled out his phone with shaking hands. He really, really hated that he was doing this over text.

_‘Hey, Liam.’_ Louis took a deep breath, trying to hold in his tears. He could do without a blotchy face and swollen eyes, today of all days. _‘Can you do me a favour and let H know that I’ve met someone and won’t be able to see him anymore? I’ve had a great time with him, but it’s time to move on. Take care of him. Louis xx’_

He hit send before he chickened out, and threw his phone onto the coffee table, where it promptly bounced and slid onto the wooden floor with a thump. Maybe he should have met up with Harry one more time and told him to his face. Looked the disappointment and hurt in the eye, faced the reality of what he was doing.

He never would have done it. It may have been a cold and detached way to break things off, but he felt it was better that way. Anyway, lads just like Louis had left before, and Harry always found others to take their place. Harry would have a new favourite before long.

He felt his bottom lip wobble. _Don’t cry, don’t cry, do not fucking cry._

Louis’ phone buzzed and he leaned down to read the screen, thinking it might be Craig, but it was from Liam. His heart leapt into his throat.

_‘Alright. Thanks for letting us know, at least. I’ll try and break it to him gently. Regards, Liam.’_

Well, that made him feel shittier. Louis took a deep breath, held it, exhaled. He stood up and pocketed his phone just as the the front door buzzer sounded. He dabbed at his eyes and resolved to put Harry behind him and enjoy his anniversary dinner. If he could.

-

**Five months later**

Louis clung to Craig’s arm as they stumbled into Craig’s flat. They often came back here. It was much bigger than Louis’ place. If Louis was honest, he’d practically lived here the past month. Craig giggled as they tiptoed through to his room, trying not to wake his flatmate.

“Tonight was awesome, Lou,” Craig whispered. “I can’t believe we’ve been together for six months, now.”

Louis sighed happily as they closed the door to Craig’s room behind them and collapsed on the bed. “I know.”

“Ugh, I’m so drunk. We didn’t need to get so drunk.”

Louis giggled. “It’s fun, though!”

“Mm, won’t be fun in the morning.”

Louis giggled again as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and tried to focus his eyes on the text he’d received from an unsaved number.

_‘Hi everybody! Liam here. This is my new number. Old one is no longer active. Regards, Liam.’_

Louis stared at his phone. His thumb hovered over the option to save the number.

“You alright, love?”

Louis’ eyes snapped up to Craig’s. “Yes. Yeah. Just. Heard from someone who… it doesn’t matter.”

He went through his contacts and deleted Liam’s old number. His heart was pounding, but as he looked into Craig’s concerned, loving eyes, he knew he was doing the right thing as he hit _delete_ on Liam’s text.

It was time to close that chapter of his life.


	3. Part 2

The rain pattered on the roof of Harry’s conservatory as he picked at the label of his beer. Small puddles had formed on the patio outside and Stevie, his cat, expertly avoided them as she darted across the garden and thumped through the cat flap.

Turning sixty had been something that Harry had dreaded practically ever since he had turned fifty. He absolutely hated getting old. The fear of ageing probably came as part of the package of being a rock star, to be fair, but that didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

Louis was a little older than Harry, if he remembered correctly. He didn’t look it. He was in great shape and had obviously been taking good care of himself over the years. Harry wondered where he had been, what experiences he had lived. 

Sitting here in front of Louis now was surreal. It had been thirty-five years. Louis had a daughter with an Australian accent and Harry practically itched to know where Louis had been, what he had been doing.

“Emily was a bit taken aback that I knew you,” Louis offered, breaking the awkward silence that had settled. “Got a bit of a grilling from her.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Harry grinned. “What did you say?”

“She was all like, ‘It’s obvious you dated him, Dad.’ So I just agreed with her. Just told her we dated briefly in my youth, and… yeah. She accepted it.”

“That’s lucky,” Harry remarked. “Save her the sordid details of your sex life.”

Louis laughed, grinning down at his beer bottle. “I know she’s an adult, but there’s some things you just don’t wanna tell your kids about, ever.”

Harry smiled and took a swig of his beer. Harry’s memory was hazy at the best of times - his twenties were a bit too wild to really  _ remember -  _ but with Louis sitting here in front of him, memories were flashing into consciousness. Louis tied to the bed. Louis touching himself. Louis’ face covered in Harry’s come.

Harry averted his gaze from Louis and felt the ghost of a blush on his cheeks.

“It’s lovely that you’ve got a family,” Harry said. “So, you live in Australia?”

“Oh.” Louis cleared his throat and looked up at Harry with a small smile. “No. I did for most of my adult life, but I live here in London now. Been back, oh… five years?”

Harry nodded and smiled politely, not wanting to intrude. “Oh. Nice. Well, Emily is lovely. And beautiful. She looks a lot like you, you know. I see so much of you in her.”

Louis let out a quiet laugh. “Thank you, Harry. She’s actually not my biological daughter. She was my husband’s daughter and I adopted her when we got married. She was three at the time, so we raised her together.”

“That’s great. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks. What about you? I mean, I’ve been keeping up with what you’ve been doing, obviously, but… no secret love child, or anything?”

“Haha, no, no. You know, I haven’t slept with a woman for…. God. Since probably not long after I met you.” Harry sighed. “No. It’s just me. I inflict myself upon Gemma’s family all the time, though. She’s got kids, and grandkids. We just all spent Christmas together, in fact.”

“Oh. Well, that’s great.”

Harry shrugged and chewed his lip as he stared at his lap. “It’s not the same as having my own grandkids, but it’s close enough, I suppose.”

“I bet you’re great with them.”

“They all think I’m a hundred years old! Gemma’s older than me but I must just be  _ that _ uncool.”

Louis let out a light laugh. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

Harry tutted with a grin and lightly swatted Louis’ arm. “So, if I can ask, what brings you back?”

Louis forced a smile and took a deep breath. “My husband, Ethan, died the year before I came back and I found myself just so desperately lonely. Emily had flown the nest and was off galavanting around the world, so I decided to come back to be close to my family. Did you know I have six siblings? I have, like, twenty great nieces and nephews. It’s great to be near to them.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry about your husband, Louis.” Harry frowned. “Was it sudden?”

“Fairly.” Louis turned to stare out of the conservatory at Harry’s garden. The fingers on his right hand moved to the wedding ring on his left hand, absently turning it around his finger. “Heart attack. He was okay for a bit. And, then…”

Harry sighed. “Louis.”

“I miss him every day, but you learn to cope. You know?”

Harry reached out and squeezed Louis’ arm briefly. “Do you want a tour of the house?”

Louis smiled, nodding gratefully. Harry showed him around the house, chattering as they went about the hows and the whys of all the customisation he had put in himself. The indoor pool, the games room, the cinema. 

“I can’t believe you live alone and you have six bedrooms,” Louis said with a laugh and a shake of the head.

“I like to be prepared for every eventuality,” Harry replied. “You wanna stay for some dinner?”

“Oh, Um… I’d better be off,” Louis said, sighing. “Got a lunch date with Emily tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Harry nodded, walking Louis to the door. “It was really great to see you.”

“You, too.” Louis hesitated before opening his arms. Harry moved in and held him close. “Can I see you again?”

A smile broke across Harry’s face. “Yeah. I’d really like that.”

-

**Bromance! Ed Sheeran and Harry Styles: 40 years of friendship in pictures**

**\---**

Harry sighed, pouting and absently strumming his guitar. The sun was close to setting, and the weak light was casting long shadows across Ed’s living room.

“You wanna order a pizza?”

“Hm?” Harry looked over to Ed, who had a cat on his shoulder and was jiggling his knee compulsively. “Dunno, man. Can’t you get your cook to make us something?”

“I gave him the day off. It’s his dog’s birthday.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Alright then. Yeah, pizza’s fine.”

“I fancy one with loads and loads of fucking meat. Sound good?”

“Yeah, fine.”

Ed punched at his phone screen with his thumbs, watching Harry from the corner of his eye.

“You alright, mate? You seem distracted today.”

Harry looked up at Ed, who raised his eyebrows in question. Harry sighed, chewing the inside of his cheek and twanging a string on his guitar obnoxiously.

“I just… something weird happened a few days ago.”

“Go on,” Ed replied curiously.

“I ran into somebody from the past.” Harry put the guitar down next to him on the sofa and folded his arms. “Someone I used to fuck.”

Ed snorted. “Okay. Please don’t tell me it was a woman with a kid.”

“No, God,” Harry replied with a slight laugh. “A man.”

“Alright. So? Why has bumping into a groupie messed you up?”

Harry winced at the word. “Not sure. He came round to mine and we had a bit of a catch up. He told me about his life, and his family. And, I dunno. Made me feel a bit old and lonely.”

“We  _ are  _ old, Harry.”

Harry threw an exasperated, petulant look at Ed. “I was just… He moved away to Australia and I didn’t cope very well when he left. It’s lovely to see him again, but it’s kind of depressing.”

“Oh, it’s  _ him?” _ Ed raised his eyebrows and let out a short laugh. “Mate, just shag him.”

“Ed! He’s a bloody widower.”

“Harry.” Ed scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You know full well that there are plenty of 20-year-olds with no baggage willing to sit on your cock.”

“Ed, for God’s sake! That’s not what I meant. I’m not interested in all that stuff anymore.”

“What? Sex?” Ed threw his phone down next to him, pulling the cat off his shoulder and onto his lap and scratching at its belly. 

“I just meant… well, yeah. I guess.” Harry fiddled with the ring on his thumb. “Sex just isn’t an important part of my life anymore. It kinda got… old. Like me.”

“Well, I never would’ve thought I’d hear you say that.”

“I’ve not had sex in, like… what? Three years?”

Ed blinked at him. “Mate, seriously.  _ Plenty _ of twenty year olds. You’re in the unique position of being a sixty year old man who is irresistible to hot boys a third of your age. It’s your duty to take advantage of that.”

“Ugh. You’re disgusting.” 

-

Harry was pleased to see Emily at a charity dinner he attended, and set himself to fussing over her all evening. He took her around to meet as many important people as possible and sat down to chat with her afterwards. 

“So, Emily. How long are you here for?”

“I’m actually leaving on Tuesday. I’m a teacher, so I need to get back and get over the jet lag and stuff before term starts again.”

“You’re a teacher? That’s so cool.”

“Yeah! It has its challenges but it’s definitely rewarding. I grew up watching Dad teach and he just loved it so much. I was always going to follow in his footsteps, to be honest.”

“Your dad was a teacher?”

Emily paused, smirking curiously at Harry. “Yeah. Louis.”

“Oh, nice.”

“You didn’t know that?” Emily asked, hiding her expression behind her wine glass as she sipped. “Interesting.”

Harry grinned. “No. It really was a long time ago that we knew each other.”

“How long were you two seeing each other, exactly?”

Harry was walking on eggshells. He didn’t want to drop Louis in it, but he didn’t want to lie. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d known Louis for. A few years?

“It was a long time ago,” he said again. “He’s not an ex, or anything. It was super casual, it had to be. I was off on tour constantly.”

Fuck. She knew. Emily was clearly an incredibly intelligent woman and the way she was looking at Harry told him she was easily reading between the lines. Harry fixed his face with a casual expression as he sipped at his own wine.

“So, I suppose you’ve been here for Christmas?”

“Yeah. It’ll be summer holidays back home, so I always come over. Dad wanted to come to me this year, but I won’t let him. It’s such a long flight.”

“Do you only see him once a year?”

Emily smiled sadly. “Yeah. He used to fly over for the summer to visit me and all his old friends. Nowadays he’s got the shop to worry about, and I just don’t think he feels up to travelling, really.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “The shop?”

Emily rolled her eyes with a smile. “Didn’t you two catch up the other day?”

“He didn’t tell me!” Harry grinned. “I assumed he was retired.”

“He retired from teaching after Dad died… he did tell you about that?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. Well, after Dad died, he retired from teaching and just moped around the place. He cut himself off from basically everybody. He wasn’t doing well. As hard as it is having him on the other side of the world, moving back here was the best thing he did.”

Harry sighed to himself. It wasn’t easy hearing about Louis being in pain, even after all these years. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Anyway, he isn’t one for sitting around doing nothing, so he used my dad’s life insurance to set up a used bookshop in Camden.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”

“He’s very proud, and was probably worried you’d ask how it was going.”

“Oh?” Harry’s heart sunk.

“The shop isn’t doing too well.” Emily shrugged sadly. “He’s thinking of chucking it all in.”

“That’s awful!”

“Yeah.” Emily sighed and looked at her watch. “Um, I need to get going.”

Harry walked Emily outside and flagged down one of the waiting cars. He turned to smile at her.

“Well, it’s been lovely to meet you. Have a safe journey home.”

Emily reached out to squeeze Harry’s arm. “Thanks for everything.”

“You’re welcome.” Harry held open the car door for her.

“Oh, um…” Emily stopped just as she went to climb into the car. “If you’re gonna be seeing my dad again, please take care of him. He’s the most important person in my life, you know.”

Harry softened, feeling touched. “Of course. Of course I will.”

“I mean it. If you hurt him, I’ll come after you.”

Harry laughed. “I promise I won’t. We’re just going to be friends, anyway. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Hm.” Emily grinned. “Take care.”

-

Gwen brought Louis through just as Harry was taking the roast chicken out of the oven.

“Great timing!” Harry grinned. “How are you?”

“Yeah, I’m great. Thanks for inviting me over.” Louis slipped his trainers off and leaned on the worktop, staring at Harry.

“Well, it’s… what?” Harry giggled when he noticed Louis staring at him pointedly. “What have I done?”

Louis scoffed and pulled his phone from his pocket. “When were you going to tell me you’re sleeping with my daughter?”

Harry widened his eyes in utter confusion, frowning as Louis handed him the phone. He’d been papped with Emily outside the charity dinner and The Sun had run the photos with a story about the  _ mystery brunette _ with plenty of thinly veiled jabs at Harry’s age and his promiscuity. Harry rolled his eyes, glancing back at Louis to check he hadn’t been serious. Louis was smirking openly and so Harry sighed.

“If I so much as look at another human being, it means I’m sleeping with them. Honestly, it drives me nuts.”

“I would’ve thought you’d be used to it by now.”

“Well, it didn’t wind me up so much when I was younger and I actually  _ was _ sleeping with them.” Harry let out a small laugh. “But seriously, they do it with everyone. There was a photo of me and my nephew once and the tabs were wondering who the mystery young man was.”

“That’s gross! I remember once there was a photo of you and your mum on a yacht and they thought she was one of your conquests.”

“Ugh.” Harry laughed, pulling a face. “I know. You’d think they’d leave me alone by now.”

“Sorry, mate. You’re Harry Styles for life.”

“Mm.” Harry gestured to the chicken. “Breast or leg?”

“Leg, please,” Louis replied. “How was the charity dinner, anyway?”

“Yeah, it was good. Me and Emily had a good chat.”

“Oh? Why do I feel worried?”

Harry laughed. “Uh, I might’ve let the cat out of the bag. I let on that I didn’t know you were a teacher, and she asked how long we were seeing each other for. I told her it’d been casual since I was always off on tour and, I dunno, I think she read between the lines.”

“Ah, well. I just hope she doesn’t ask me about it. I couldn’t bear it.”

“She’s very clever, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Louis beamed. “She is.”

“She told me about your bookshop. I can’t believe you’ve been in Camden this whole time. I’ve probably walked past your shop without realising.”

Louis sighed as he followed Harry to the dining table. “Yeah, I probably won’t have it for much longer.”

Harry chewed on his bottom lip as he watched Louis take a seat. He busied himself for the next minute or so, bringing the potatoes, vegetables, and gravy boat to the table and pouring them each a glass of champagne.

“Are we celebrating?” Louis asked.

Harry smiled. “I’m an old, withered rock star. All we do is drink champagne.” He took his seat and lifted his glass. “But maybe we should celebrate our reunion.”

Louis nodded with a smile, lifted his glass and clinked it against Harry’s. “To old friends.”

Harry snorted in amusement before nodding in acknowledgment. “To old friends.”

Harry took a sip and watched as Louis dished himself up some food. He put three potatoes on the plate and went to scoop a fourth before changing his mind. Harry grinned to himself.

“Have as many as you want, Lou.” Harry smiled as Louis let out a little giggle and scooped a fourth potato onto his plate. “I, um… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Louis put the bowl of potatoes back on the table and looked up at Harry. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “What’s that, then?”

“I’ve been thinking ever since I talked to Emily, and I’d really love it if you’d let me help you out.”

Louis cocked an eyebrow. “In what way, love?”

“I wanna help out with the shop. In whatever way I can. I won’t let you lose it.”

“Help out? What do you mean? Like-”

“Financially.”

Louis sighed, staring down at his plate. “Harry, no. I told you forty years ago that I don’t want things from you, and that still stands. I don’t need your help. I can get by on my own.”

“Louis.”

“You’re welcome to come along and buy a book,” Louis said with a small grin. “But I won’t take a handout, Harry.”

“Can I come and buy  _ all _ the books? Then donate them all back to you?”

Louis glared at him playfully as he picked up the veg. Harry finally dished himself up some food, watching Louis’ strong hands as he placed the veggie bowl back onto the table.

“Louis?”

“Hm?”

“Nice watch.”

Louis looked down at his own wrist before freezing. Harry smirked to himself as Louis’ ears turned a shade of pink. He cleared his throat, fixing his expression and looking at Harry with a smile.

“Thank you.” He shrugged with a grin. “It’s very special to me.”

“I can’t believe you kept it all this time,” Harry said quietly.

“Of course I did. It’s a bloody Rolex. What did you think I’d do? Sell it?” Louis grinned. “No way. This watch and my daughter are the two most precious things in my life.”

Harry felt pride swell in his chest. “You’ve been taking good care of it, then?”

“Yup. Had it serviced a few times.”

Harry nodded, impressed. They finally fell silent and started to eat. Louis hummed in pleasure the entire time and gave Harry a few compliments on the meal. Harry kept Louis’ glass topped up and by the time they’d finished and moved into the conservatory, Louis was staring at his full glass and groaning.

“You trying to get me drunk, Styles?” Louis let out a small burp. “I drove here, you know.”

“You can’t let something like that stop you from indulging.” Harry shrugged as he sat down on the sofa. “So, tell me about your life.”

Louis laughed, surprised. “I sit in a dusty bookshop and stare into space for the majority of my day, and then I go home and eat a microwave meal for one.”

“The only difference in my life is that I often eat dinner with my housekeeper, which doesn’t make my life any more exciting, I don’t think.” Harry nudged Louis. “I meant in general. So, you were a teacher?”

“Yeah.” Louis took a deep breath. “Back when I was still seeing you, I was studying linguistics and I was about to graduate when I met this guy at uni, Craig, and we fell in love so quickly. It was ridiculous. We’d been together about eight months when his mum got ill and he had to head back home. To Australia.”

“Ah,” Harry nodded in acknowledgment.

“So I did what any rational human would do. I followed him out to Australia.”

“Oh, my God.” Harry laughed in mild surprise. “When you’d been together eight months?”

“Yup.”

“When you know, you know. Right?” Harry shrugged with a smile. “When did you get married?”

Louis frowned in amused confusion. “Craig wasn’t my husband.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” Harry rolled his eyes to himself. “I’m old. Sorry. Um… Ethan right?”

“Right. So one night, I went out with the woman from next door, Tabitha. We went for a meal and then to a bar, but she promptly started to throw up after one drink. We think she’d eaten something off in the restaurant. Anyway, we come home, I walk her inside and what do we see?”

“What?” Harry whispered, wide eyed.

“Tabitha’s husband fucking Craig on the kitchen floor.”

“Shut the fuck up. Are you serious?”

“Yup. Well, Tabitha promptly threw up right there on the spot and I was close to joining her, to be honest.”

“That’s awful. Disgusting. And after you’d moved your entire life across the world for him.”

“I know.” Louis sighed.

“I’m sorry, Louis.”

Louis gave him a soft smile. “Harry, it’s okay. Thank you. But I think I’m okay. It’s been thirty years. I  _ have  _ been married since then.”

“Fair point.” Harry grinned. “So, you stayed?”

“Yeah, I stayed. I was studying to be a teacher by then; I couldn’t really afford to leave. I got accommodation through uni and not long after that, I found myself head over heels for one of the uni Administrators. If you thought I had baggage, you should’ve seen Ethan’s. When I met him, he was in a terrible marriage with a pregnant wife.”

“Wow.”

Louis nodded. “Yeah. when Emily was born, Ethan left his wife and got full custody. We got married when Emily was three, and I officially adopted her.”

Harry smiled softly. He couldn’t stop looking at Louis, his face wide with pride as he spoke about his daughter. Harry’s heart twitched with the faint, familiar feeling of regret he always had when he was reminded of his lack of partner and children.

“For the record,” Louis said with a slight laugh. “We didn’t get serious until he’d split with his wife. There was kissing, and a lot of emotion, but-”

“Oh, Louis.” Harry scoffed and shook his head. “You hardly need to justify yourself to me, of all people.”

Louis looked at him and exhaled sharply, as if he’d been holding his breath. “Okay, so. What’s been going on with you? As I said, I’ve been keeping up from the outside, but…”

Harry sighed. Despite all his success, his life felt a tad inadequate. “Not much to tell. I went through a lot of shit, some of which you were there for, most of which you weren’t.”

“Go on.” Louis cleared his throat. “If you want.”

“I mean, the main thing is that I’m here, and I’ve calmed down a bit.”

“I’ll say!” Louis laughed. “You do seem more settled. I have to admit, I worried sometimes. Every time I saw your name trending somewhere, I-”

“You thought I’d dropped dead?” Harry smiled sadly. “Yeah. My mum used to say that all the time.”

“You can’t blame us.”

Harry sighed, folding his arms. “No, I know. I was pretty wild. I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t come close a couple of times.”

“Seriously?” Louis asked quietly.

“One time, I slipped into some kind of coke coma and fate must’ve been smiling down on me, because the guy I’d been fucking was a bloody doctor.” 

“God.”

“And another time I OD’d and Liam found me. He was fucking  _ livid,  _ let me tell you. He somehow managed to get me to hospital without the likes of TMZ finding out.”

“Fucking  _ hell.” _ Louis shook his head in wonder.

Harry hated thinking about that time. It was the period that directly followed Louis leaving and it was the darkest time of his life. He shuddered with the memory.

He sighed and shrugged. “Then there was the time I got into a car accident.”

“I remember that!” Louis gasped. “You got pretty hurt, no?”

“Yup.” Harry sighed. “I was in hospital for a week, and they didn’t want me to leave, but I had a bloody album to record. I had a punctured lung and my shoulder was fucked. Still is, in fact. To make matters worse, I became dependent on my painkillers.”

Louis gave him a sad smile. “What happened? I assume you weren’t drunk or high. I’m sure I would’ve heard.”

“No, well. It was entirely my fault. I was going through withdrawal and I really shouldn’t have been driving because I just couldn’t focus in the slightest. I went into the back of someone and the person behind me went into me. I was the worst hurt out of everyone involved, thank God.”

“Fucking hell.”

Harry paused to take a breath. He was somewhat detached from it all, being so far in the past, but there was a dull ache in his heart. “That’s when Liam staged an intervention and forced me into rehab.”

“No way!” Louis’ eyes widened. “I had no idea you’d been to rehab.”

“My team worked so hard to keep it under wraps. Had a couple of slip ups since, but not touched the stuff for over twenty years.”

“That’s brilliant,” Louis said sincerely. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Harry looked at Louis and tilted his head. “When you read all these stories about me, you must’ve thought, ‘What a fucking idiot’.”

“No, no.” Louis frowned. “I told you, I worried about you. Despite your demons, you always were a lovely man.”

“Oh.” Harry laughed softly. “Thank you.”

“We always had fun, even outside of the sex.” Louis coughed. “I did miss you, sometimes.”

“Yeah? Me too.” Harry bit his tongue, which tickled with unspoken confession. He nodded to Louis’ champagne glass. “You want a top up?”

“No!” Louis whined and leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “I should call a cab soon.”

“Not yet! We still have dessert.” Harry nodded in the direction of the kitchen. “You know what, you should just stay.”

“Harry, I-”

“I have six bedrooms, Louis. Come on. You can sleep on the other side of the house from me, if you’d like, and if you need to get up early for work, it’s not a problem. Gwen can make you breakfast.”

Louis glanced at Harry and pouted. “Hmm.”

“Come on.” Harry flashed his best, most dazzling smile. “I’ve got orthopedic mattresses…”

“Oh, God,” Louis said with a moan. “Stop with the dirty talk.”

Harry threw his head back and cackled. “Come on. Throw a lonely old man a bone, here.”

“Oh, fine. For old time’s sake.” He shot Harry a stern glare. “I’m not doing anything else for old time’s sake, though.”

“Ugh.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Louis, I’m not sure I’m even capable of doing anything we used to get up to.”

Harry thought he spotted a light blush on Louis’ cheeks. “We got up to some crazy stuff. Do you remember the night we met?”

Harry winced. “No, sorry. I don’t remember many specifics at all.”

“It’s okay.” Louis laughed. “We were in a club in Manchester, and you took me into a private booth and I sucked your dick.”

“Oh, God.” Harry laughed.

“Now?” Louis scoffed. “I get down on my knees to get something from under the bed and I walk funny for the rest of the day.”

Harry giggled. “How relatable.”

Louis sighed and smiled shyly at Harry. “I might go for that top up. Just one more glass, though. I’m too old to deal with a hangover.”

They giggled together about the past and getting old until the wee hours, and Louis insisted he needed to go to bed.

“I’m gonna be useless at the shop tomorrow.”

Harry led him upstairs and down the hall. “It’s been so good to catch up though, Lou. Right?”

“Absolutely.” Louis nodded. “You know, there were times when I was single and you were touring over in Australia, and I thought… but I decided it’d be a can of worms.”

Harry smiled sadly, tipsily. “That’s okay. You probably wouldn’t have wanted to see me in the state I was in.”

Louis pouted. “Aw. Don’t say that.” He smiled wistfully. “You know, I never told my husband about you. You were my little secret.”

“No way, really?”

“Mmhmm. I mean, he knew I was a fan. He wasn’t keen, himself, but he surprised me with tickets to your concert, once.”

Harry raised his eyebrows and laughed.

“It was a bit weird,” Louis said. “He must’ve sensed something from me, because he never even suggested it again.”

“That’s so crazy.” Harry shook his head in wonder. “You were out there, in the crowd, and I had no idea.”

Harry opened the bedroom door and stood aside to let Louis through. When Harry felt unsettled, he sometimes slept in this room. The view of the grounds was incredible from the window and it always had a light, comforting smell. It was only right he put Louis in here.

“Um, you’ve got an ensuite. There’s loads of toiletries in the cupboard under the sink. Use whatever you want. I’ll bring you something to sleep in and I’ll throw your clothes in the washing machine, they’ll be ready for you in the morning.”

“Thanks. You are quite the host.”

Harry beamed stupidly. “I’ll be right back.”

Harry hurried to his room and quickly picked up a few bits. He headed back into Louis’ room just as he was taking his top off.

Harry cleared his throat. “Um. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Harry.” Louis grinned. “Those for me?”

“Yeah. Um, here’s some pyjama bottoms, and an old t-shirt.” Harry smirked and held up the t-shirt. It was an old merchandise shirt from one of his tours two decades ago.

“That is sick!”

“And I brought you a jumper, in case you get cold. I mean, you don’t have to wear any of it, if you don’t want. But, um, it’s here if you want it.”

“Thank you, love. Very kind.” Louis grabbed the pyjama bottoms. “Be right back.”

Louis headed into the bathroom and Harry sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He glanced at the t-shirt and giggled softly, and before he knew it Louis was re-emerging.

Louis was still so lean, and a little toned. Harry was a bit soft and podgy and, faced with a topless Louis, he felt himself wanting to suck in his stomach. Louis looked fantastic for his age and if Harry’s dick wasn’t settled into permanent hibernation, it might have even shown a little interest.

“Here ya go.” Louis lobbed his boxers at Harry who didn't react in time. They hit him in the face, and he heard Louis giggling childishly. “Oopsie!”

Harry chuckled dryly. “I’m gonna spit in your porridge.”

“Yeah, yeah, rock star.” Louis tilted his head. “Now, leave me to sleep.”

Harry gathered up the rest of Louis’ clothes, shaking his head with a smile.

-

Harry woke up stupidly early and busied himself with replying to a bunch of emails. After he was done, he headed downstairs. Gwen had started on the breakfast and it smelt amazing. Harry folded Louis’ washed and dried clothes, and glanced at the clock. There was no sign of life from Louis’ room yet. It was getting on for 8am and Harry wondered what time he needed to be at work.

He padded quietly up the stairs and knocked softly on Louis’ door.

“Lou? It’s eight. There’s lots of yummy breakfast downstairs.” Harry heard a faint groan from inside. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Louis was tangled up in the duvet, eyes still closed, small smile on his face. He looked cosy. Harry smiled softly and leaned against the doorframe.

“Up you get, sleepy head.”

Louis huffed, cracking an eye open. Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis groaned as he threw the duvet off of himself and stretched.

Harry’s eyes widened. A giggle bubbled in his throat as Louis looked down and gasped, covering the noticeable bulge in his pyjama bottoms with his hands.

“Shit,” Louis said, embarrassed and laughing. “Oh my God.”

“Wow, you  _ really  _ liked that bed.” Harry laughed. “When I asked you last night to throw me a bone, this isn’t really what I had in mind.”

“Shut up!” Louis giggled. “I swear this doesn’t happen, like, ever.”

“Yeah, well,” Harry said, still grinning. “Don’t let it go to waste. You enjoy it. But don’t take too long, breakfast is getting cold.”

With one last pointed glance down to Louis’ hand-covered crotch, Harry left the room, laughing as he made sure he pulled the door shut behind him.

He headed downstairs and into the dining room. When Louis joined him less than ten minutes later, jumper on and sleeves pulled over his hands, he couldn’t help grinning at him.

“Sleep well?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Louis was the picture of nonchalance aside from the fact the tips of his ears were red. He covered his face and started to tremble. Uncontrollable giggles spilled from him and Harry started laughing, too. Gwen served breakfast and Harry avoided making eye contact with her until his hysterical laughter had died down.

“Thank you,” Harry said to her. “I’m sorry.”

Gwen just smiled and retreated to the kitchen. Louis was recovering, clutching his ribs and breathing carefully.

“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I’m really embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. Dicks are stupid, especially at our age. They don’t get hard when you want them to and right when you least expect it… BAM! Boner in my guest room.”

“Stop it.” Louis raised an eyebrow sassily. “And it was a boner  _ and _ a wank, thank you.”

“There’s a good lad.”

-

**Harry Styles turns 60 - twelve celebrities he’s been linked to in pictures**

**\---**

Harry wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate his birthday. Gemma had been on at him all year to have a party but he was having none of it. Instead, he headed to hers for dinner with their mum, Gemma’s husband, Tim, and their adult children, Matthew and Susanne. Matthew had baked a huge, elaborate, beautiful cake, which Harry very much appreciated.

“Thank you! God, it’s gorgeous.”

“Happy birthday, uncle Harry.” Matthew embraced him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I know you said you didn’t want presents, but-”

“Matthew!”

_ “But _ I found a t-shirt in a charity shop that I thought you’d appreciate.”

Harry narrowed his eyes and took the gift bag that Matthew was holding out to him. He reached inside and pulled the t-shirt out.

“Ha!” Harry cackled. Staring back at him was a distorted orange picture of Ed. It was a t-shirt from his very first arena tour. “This is fantastic! I absolutely need to be papped in this. Thank you.”

It was a lovely dinner, full of giggles and jokes, and Harry knew this was all he needed as a birthday celebration. His mum giggled her way through the evening and Harry knew that every moment he spent with her was precious. 

“Remember when we were kids?” Gemma asked Harry when they were sitting on the sofa watching TV, Anne fast asleep in the armchair and Matthew and Susanne on their way home. “And we’d wake up at 5am on our birthdays?”

“Yeah!” Harry laughed. “And I’d always wake you up on mine.”

“Ugh,” Gemma scoffed and rolled her eyes. “A cold winter’s morning, being dragged out of bed when it was still dark by my bratty little brother.”

Harry giggled softly. “Well, Mum always took it in good humour. Always gave me cake for my breakfast.”

“That’s true! Yeah.” Gemma shook her head with a grin. “I never let the kids do that, although they always asked. I think Mum told them she used to let us.”

A lot of Harry’s adult life was a complete blur. He lived it fast and loose and the drugs did him no favours, but he remembered a surprising amount of his childhood in vivid detail. He remembered working in the bakery when he was fifteen, not long before his singing career started. He remembered his first day of secondary school, his uniform too big for him and his palms sweating from nerves. He remembered catching Gemma crying in her room because she’d had her first heartbreak.

Things had been so simple back then, and in some ways, they felt simple again now. He was healthy for his age, and he had a good family surrounding him. He could do not a day’s more work in his life and still have enough to live lavishly. 

He only really suffered with one problem, these days. When he went home and the day wound down, he was alone. In fact, he was  _ lonely. _ He wasn’t really bothered by the fact that he wasn’t getting laid, or that he would struggle to get it up anyway. He was bothered by the fact he had no one to share things with. He often ate meals with Gwen, of course, but at the end of the day she was his employee, and technically he was paying her to socialise with him.

Sad.

When he arrived home, he tried to remind himself how fortunate he was to be alive and well, considering the way he lived in the past. And he was grateful for it, he was. He thought about Ed, who was not only alone, but still struggling every day with his alcoholism. He’d had a liver transplant and was on multiple medications to deal with the long-term effects. Really, Harry had dodged a bullet to have very few long-term effects from his drug abuse.

Harry slipped into bed and quickly fell asleep, ending his 60th birthday desperately trying to look on the bright side.

-

Harry was wandering down Camden high street, hair under a hat, hands in his pockets. He hardly ever got bothered in Camden. As long as he stayed low-key, he could go weeks without being recognised. 

He was just out for a walk, that was all. And if he happened to walk past the only used bookshop in the area that he could recall, well, that wasn’t anybody’s business. He had no idea about Louis’ employees or anything, wasn’t sure if Louis would even be there. When he walked into the bookshop, he just knew it wasn’t Louis’. The vibe didn’t feel like him, or something.

He walked straight back out and rolled his eyes at himself as he pulled his phone out.

_ ‘There is one bookshop on Camden high street and it ain’t yours. Did you tell a fib, Mr Tomlinson?’ _

_ ‘Shit, are you even Tomlinson anymore?’ _

His phone buzzed with a reply almost immediately.

_ ‘I’m down Parkway lad! If you hit pizza express you’ve gone too far. And yes, still Tomlinson :)’ _

Harry pocketed his phone immediately and headed down towards Camden Town station. He crossed over and turned right to head down Parkway, looking around at all the shops. He knew them all well enough, but he was looking for something he clearly had never noticed before.

Then he spotted it. Wedged between a sushi place and a beauty salon was an inconspicuous little bookshop entitled  _ Parkway Books. _ Harry smiled to himself and slipped into the shop.

Louis’ fingers were in his hair, glasses perched on his nose as he held a book in his other hand. He looked up when the door opened and broke into a smile.

“Hi!”

Harry smiled and looked around. The shop was small but seemed to go quite far back and there were shelves full of books everywhere he looked. There seemed to be far too many books for the space.

“You have… a lot of books.”

Louis chuckled. “Still wanna buy them all?”

“Hmm,” Harry mused. “I’ve always wanted to build a library in my house.”

Louis bookmarked his page and placed his book under the counter. He pushed his glasses up to the top of his head and hopped down from his stool.

“It’d take me far too long to add up your total.” Louis rubbed Harry’s back in greeting. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad, thanks. Um, I might be doing another album.”

“That’s awesome!”

“I mean, I’m just the artist. They’ll all sort it out without me.”

Louis laughed and shrugged. “I guess. Want a cup of tea?”

“That’d be great.”

“Just keep an eye out here for me.” Louis raised his eyebrows. “Don’t nick any money from the till. Or put any money into it, for that matter.”

Harry giggled as he rounded the counter and sat down on the stool. He watched as people hurried past, not even giving the little bookshop a second glance.

If only they knew who was in there looking out at them. Harry grinned to himself at the thought.

He looked around at Louis’ set up. He had a small laptop just out of sight under the till, and various shop bits and bobs, like carrier bags and small pricing labels. Harry pulled out the book that Louis had been reading.

“Nineteen eighty-four. Nice,” Harry murmured. He flipped through the book and saw that Louis was about a quarter of the way through. “I need to read more.”

There was a rush of cold air as the door opened and Harry’s eyes darted up. A woman of about fifty was looking tentatively around and she glanced at Harry before her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped.

“Oh, my God!” The woman gasped and giggled slightly. “You’re Harry Styles.”

“I suppose I am!”

“What are you doing working in a bookshop? Don’t tell me you’ve retired!”

“Oh, well. I’ve been semi-retired for a decade, love.” He smiled. “I’m just visiting a friend. This is his shop.”

She didn’t take her eyes off of Harry, who watched her amusedly. She picked up a random book from the shelf and placed it on the counter.

“This, please.”

Harry stared at the till, uncomprehending. By some miracle, Louis emerged from the back at this moment, a tea in each hand and a smirk growing on his face when he saw Harry’s expression.

“Need some help?”

“I’m not that good with this new technology,” Harry said with a grin.

Louis smiled to the woman and rolled his eyes. “Bloody old people.”

He tapped the screen a few times and charged the woman three pounds. Harry watched closely, trying to remember what to do. He knew it was probably in vain.

“Um, Harry?” The woman held the book out. “Will you sign this for me?”

“Well, I’m not…” Harry squinted at the cover of the book. “I’m not E. H. Young, but sure.”

He scribbled a quick note and signature inside the cover and the woman gushed out her thanks then left Harry and Louis in silence.

“Made a friend, then?” Louis said after a second.

Harry laughed quietly as he slipped off the stool. He leaned on the counter and chewed the inside of his cheek as a plan started to form in his head. 

“Hey,” Louis said, knocking Harry back to reality. “I think somewhere in here I have a copy of ‘Harry Styles: The Unauthorised Biography’.”

“Ha!” Harry snorted. “You  _ think? _ Don’t act like you didn’t read it.”

“Well, it might’ve been sold when I wasn’t here.” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “I started to read it, but as soon as it mentioned the ‘scores of women’ you fucked throughout your career, I had to put it down.”

“Jealous?”

Louis scoffed. “The inaccuracies just made me question the professional integrity of the author, that’s all.”

“Of an unauthorised biography.” 

“Well, there wasn’t a single mention of you coming out, it was a total het fest. I’m just not on board for that kind of lazy writing.”

Harry giggled and shook his head. “Well, they don’t really know the first thing about me, do they?”

“No. They don’t.”

-

Liam’s head slumped and he started to snore.

“Right, okay,” Harry whispered, sighing to himself. There was just something about Sundays. Liam always promptly fell asleep straight after lunch, but  _ only _ on a Sunday. It didn’t matter if he was mid-conversation, he’d conk out and Harry would be left to talk to himself.

He opened his laptop and checked his email. Liam had sent him an email this morning with some gossip website links. He clicked a couple, skimming pointless articles about himself before he read through a fairly scathing article about Ed being past it and stating that he should retire.

Ed’s latest album had just this week been knocked off of the number one spot after thirteen weeks. 

Harry quickly sent off a text to Ed, telling him it was time to retire, and then opened his text thread with Louis. They hadn’t exchange very many texts, and the ones they had were fairly clinical. Harry felt the urge to text him, but he resisted. He had nothing to say. He was too old for texting  _ just because. _

Harry didn’t have many friends, certainly not ones that he could trust. Liam and Ed had been around since his career first started, but aside from that, he didn’t really have anyone. Ed was often out on tour and Liam was his manager and tended to talk business more than Harry would like. It felt lovely for Harry to make a new friend. A new  _ old _ friend. Louis had also proved that he was trustworthy every day that passed and he didn’t sell his story or anything like that. Louis had seen Harry at his best, his worst, and his ugliest, and Harry could be completely himself around him. It was a breath of fresh air. 

Harry felt like he owed Louis a lot, which was why he wanted to help him out. Louis wouldn’t take any money from Harry, so he would just have to come up with another way to help out. Harry may have been past it, but he still had the world in the palm of his hand.

He sighed and looked at Liam, who was snoring away. He’d have a sore neck when he woke up, slumped like that.

“Liam?” he whispered. “Liam.”

Liam let out a snort in response. Harry sighed again and picked his phone up. He held it above the rug and dropped it with a loud, muffled thud.

Liam jerked awake and blinked sleepily at Harry.

“Well, I’m glad you’re up.” Harry smiled innocently. “I need you do to me a favour.”

“What you need?” Liam croaked.

“I need you to make a phone call for me.”

-

“Morning!” Harry said as he walked through the door of the bookshop, carrying two coffees. “I brought provisions.”

“Wow.” Louis sighed with a smile. “It’s like you knew I was absolutely shattered.”

Harry placed the coffees down and rounded the counter to kiss Louis on the cheek in greeting. 

“Having trouble sleeping?”

“I fall asleep fine, but I just wake up constantly. I’m not sure if I’m waking up to have a wee or if I go just because I’m up, but it’s driving me crazy. And it’s not even every night.”

“That’s easy, Lou.” Harry smiled as he pushed a coffee towards him. “I bet you’re drinking tea before bed.”

“I’m not  _ stupid.” _ Louis rolled his eyes. “I’ve tried not drinking before bed.”

“Hm, try stopping a bit earlier.” Harry raised his eyebrows when Louis looked at him, hesitant and a bit sassy. “Trust me. Give it a try.”

“Fine.” Louis shrugged. “So, what’s going on with you?”

“Oh, not much.” Harry pouted as he picked up a book from a stack on the counter and flicked through it. “How’s Emily?”

“Aw, she’s alright. She’s frustrated with work, but that’s a rite of passage, being a teacher.” Louis grinned. “I miss her a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve moved closer to her instead of back over here.”

“Aw, don’t say that.”

Louis shrugged and folded his arms. “She was travelling all around the country when I left, anyway, so I’m talking shit.”

“I know she’s important to you, but she’s an adult. She doesn’t want her father following her around everywhere.”

“Oi, shut up!” Louis grinned. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m always right.” Harry looked at Louis and they both laughed. “Anyway, I have to get off. I came in to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight? I’m so busy this week and tonight’s my only free night.”

“Becoming a regular thing this, ain’t it?” Louis remarked. “Inviting me round.”

“Well, I could use the company.”

Louis smiled. “Me too. I’ll be there. Let me know a time.”

“Great. I’ll be home all evening, so pop round whenever you fancy.” Harry fixed his hair. “Right, I’m off. See you later.”

“Thanks for the coffee!”

Harry made his way outside slowly, stopping for a moment to check his phone before walking in the direction of Boots to pick up his prescription. He expertly ignored the man directly in front of him, walking backwards and snapping photos of Harry.

-

Louis came round and point blank refused to drink any alcohol after last time. They ate a lovely salmon dinner cooked by Harry and, as Harry loaded the dishwasher, Louis leaned against the counter and handed him pots and pans and dishes to load it with.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“You know back when we were young? And you could never really tell me about the stuff that went on, like, around you and stuff?”

Harry switched the dishwasher on and narrowed his eyes at Louis suspiciously.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, the only thing you  _ really _ told me was that nothing was going on between you and Zayn Malik.”

Harry smirked and rolled his eyes. He grabbed his glass of wine from the counter and tilted his head towards the living room.

“Come on, then,” he said with a sigh. “Grab your little glass of lemonade.”

Louis grinned and grabbed his glass, followed Harry out into the living room, and they sat at either end of the sofa, facing each other.

“Go on, then. What do you want to know? I’ll answer if I can.”

Louis smiled before shrugging.  _ “Did _ anything ever happen between you and Zayn Malik? I know at the time you said it hadn’t, but a lot of time has passed, and-”

Harry chuckled. “No. Well… The thing is, I went to a lot of industry parties and a lot of the time I was pissed, or high as fuck. So, I’m going to say I probably snogged him.”

“Ah!” Louis said, look of wicked delight on his face. “So something  _ did _ happen!”

“Louis, honestly. I was out of it at most of these parties and there were so many celebrities there. I probably at one time or another snogged most of them.”

“Oh, Harry.” Louis giggled.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah. Sure.”

Harry looked down into his wine glass. “Did  _ you _ ever sleep with Zayn Malik?”

“Did I…? What?” Louis scoffed. “No. Of course I didn’t. Why would I have?”

Harry looked up, avoiding eye contact with Louis. He shrugged. “That fucker had a habit of stealing my groupies.”

Louis looked as confused as ever. “Talk me through it, love.”

“Well, one time, I was sleeping with this guy, Stephen. He disappeared eventually, as everybody did. And then six months later I did a festival with Zayn and I saw him snogging Stephen’s face off backstage! And I know there were others who were sleeping with him at the same time that they were sleeping with me, too. Even fucking  _ Liam _ had sex with him!”

“No way!.” Louis shrugged sympathetically. “I never even met him.”

“Were you sleeping with any of the… the others?”

“The others?” Louis frowned, confused again. “No? I slept with, um… Joe. But, like.. You were there.”

“I meant any of the other… singers and stuff. Like, celebrities.”

“Oh! No.” Louis reassured him. “The only people I slept with while I was sleeping with you were randoms I found in clubs. I wouldn’t even know how to find other celebrities.”

“You found me.”

Louis smirked. “Well. You put yourself on a plate, lad.”

“Oi!” Harry laughed. “Alright, any more questions?”

“Um… oh. I always wondered what happened to Joe.”

Harry felt himself blush as if he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He sighed loudly. There was no point lying, or even skating around the truth.

“Okay.” Harry inhaled and then sighed again. “This is a bit embarrassing, actually.”

“Oh?” Louis asked innocent, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Ugh. Alright, so. Remember our threesome?”

“As well as I can.”

“I remember I walked in and you two were already at it. God, it lit a fire in me. But it wasn’t until afterwards when Joe started fucking you that I realised.” Harry grinned sheepishly. “I was jealous.”

_ “Jealous?” _

“Yup. I just wanted to rip him away from you, have you all to myself. It took me by surprise, if I’m quite honest. I hated watching someone else get you off, and that’s why I took matters into my own hands.” Harry smirked. “Literally.”

“Wow. You didn’t, like, kill him off or anything?”

Harry cackled loudly. “I hope you’re joking! I just told him it wasn’t working out. He was no longer required.”

“Yeah? How’d he take it?”

Harry smiled. “Oh. Well, I could tell from his expression he probably knew why I was doing it. I think he took it okay. He always was easy going, you know. He was a good lad.”

“You’ve got a great memory, you know. I mean, for an elderly ex-drug addict. I mean, you said you didn’t remember much.”

“Excuse me?” Harry said, grinning. “Did you just call me elderly?”

Louis shrugged with an awful grin on his face. “Well…”

“Stop it.” Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t really remember a lot of stuff at all. But some things just stick in your head.”

Louis sighed thoughtfully. “Yeah.”

“Any more questions, then?”

“Um…” Louis let out a little laugh. “What’s with Ed?”

“Sheeran?” Harry asked, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“That one orgy of yours I came to, he was just sitting in the corner, watching.”

“I don’t really have an explanation for Ed in general.” Harry grinned and shrugged. “When he heard about my parties he wanted in, but he always just sat and watched, never joined in. He just loved watching everything and anything.”

“Did you not find that a bit weird?”

“Lou.” Harry laughed. He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “Everything that happened at those parties was fucking weird.”

“Yeah? What’s the weirdest thing you did?”

Harry laughed again. “God, you’re going to town with these questions.”

Louis smiled and looked down at his glass of lemonade. “I’m sorry if I’m invading. You don’t have to answer anything.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Harry stopped to think. He did some pretty wild stuff before he met Louis and during the time they were sleeping together. But he was the worst in the period following Louis’ departure. Now, remembering those things was a different matter. “God, I can’t think.”

“That crazy, huh?” 

“Just wait a sec. Well, there was this time I thought it would be cool to be sucked off on the ledge at the top of a building.”

“Like…  _ on the ledge?” _

“I swear I nearly fell off when I came. Luckily the guy had a good grip on me. And there was another time a bunch of us got together and decided to try out a circle fuck.”

Louis cocked an eyebrow. “Is that like… loads of guys fucking each other in a circle?”

“Yeah! But it didn’t really work. The logistics weren’t good, you know, angles and such. I think we needed a few more guys.”

“I’m guessing it was the big idea of someone who watched too much porn.”

Harry laughed. “Yeah, probably. Anything else?”

Louis took a drink of lemonade, shrugged and winked at Harry. “I think I’m done, for now.”

“For now, yeah?” Harry grinned. “Alright. What do you think about watching a film?”

They headed into the cinema room with some popcorn and sat next to each other in the 12-seater space. Harry had furnished it with leather recliners, so he put his feet up. They talked quietly at the beginning of the film, but Harry fell asleep towards the end and Louis gently shook him awake.

“I think somebody needs to go to bed.”

“Ugh,” Harry groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I always fall asleep during films. It’s a problem.”

“How much money did you spend on this cinema?”

“I don’t pay attention to that stuff.” Harry stretched his arms out and yawned. “Bit old for a cinema now, I suppose.”

“Aw, I bet the kids love it when they come round.”

“True.”

“Come on. I’m gonna head off. Walk me out?”

Harry rubbed his eyes as he followed Louis out of the cinema room and up the stairs to the ground floor. Louis pushed his feet into his old trainers and slipped his coat on.

“So, what are you doing this week? You mentioned you were really busy.”

“Oh, I’ve got meetings and costume fittings and all that stuff for this new film I’m doing.”

Louis paused with his scarf half-wrapped around his neck. “You’re doing another film?”

“Yup! It’s a fantasy film. I’ve got a fairly big part. I couldn’t tell you what it was actually about though? Lots of CGI. Liam read it and told me it was good so I just… believed him.”

Louis laughed. “It’s nice to have a best friend you can trust to that extent.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, smile wide. “It is.”

“Hey.” Louis smiled. “We can watch it in your cinema when it comes out. You can fall asleep in front of your own film.”

Harry chuckled and walked him out to his car. As he waved him off, he sighed. He hated watching Louis leave, if he was honest. He enjoyed his company a lot. In fact, he enjoyed company, period. He watched Louis’ car retreat and disappear, then he headed back inside, closed the door, and the house felt bigger and more lonely than ever.

-

_ ‘Pop into the shop when you get a chance. L’ _

Harry frowned at his phone. Would he be able to find any time? His schedule was jam-packed but maybe there was a window.

“Liam?” 

Liam rolled his eyes and picked up his sandwich, standing from his chair and walking over to Harry, where he was sitting eating his own sandwich while getting a foot massage.

“Yes?”

“Do I have a window in the next couple of days? An hour or two?”

Liam shook his head. He pulled his phone out and brought up Harry’s schedule. He handed the phone to him. 

Crap. Liam was right. There was no wiggle room at all. 

“Wait!” Harry said. “This conference call tomorrow morning. I can do that from home, right?”

“I suppose. I’ll have to be there too, though.”

“Fine. I’ll eat during it and…” He glanced at Liam. “Um, run my errand during this half hour you’ve allocated for my lunch.”

“Eating during your conference call isn’t very professional.”

“Like I care,” Harry said airily. “We’re past all that now, aren’t we? I  _ have _ just turned sixty. I make these people a lot of money. I can do what I like.”

The rest of the day passed by in a whirlwind. Harry collapsed into bed at 1am and at 8am, Liam woke up him, dragged him out of bed, and made him eat breakfast.

“Why did you get me up?” Harry grumbled. “The call isn’t for an hour. Bloody slave driver. I’m an old man! I need my kip!”

“Oh, shut up,” Liam said softly. “I’m not having you on that conference call with that… with that… beehive.”

“What?” Harry replied, confused. “Are you talking about my hair? Do you mean bird’s nest?”

“Whatever. You look like shit in the mornings, okay?”

They continued to bicker all the way through breakfast while Harry found a decent-looking jumper to wear. Harry combed his hair and managed to pat it down to look at least vaguely presentable as Liam went on a rant about grey hair. At just after nine, the conference call commenced and Harry began a very boring three hours, not offering much input as there was a lot of discussion about things like schedules, which Harry never handled himself.

He flat out left the room at eleven to make himself some lunch. He just settled on some hot buttered toast, bringing some for Liam too, who looked at him like he’d lost the plot.

“Just eat it, Liam,” Harry said. “Nobody cares.”

“Shh!”

Harry rolled his eyes. He crunched on his toast and dwelled on the fact he wouldn’t have time to take a shower before he visited Louis. Never mind. He didn’t smell. He could cover his hair with a hat. He should probably make sure his clothes were clean. Ish.

When the conference call ended, Harry stripped all his clothes off with Liam still in the room.

“Stay here, then, and I’ll be back by the end of my lunch break.”

“Do you have to get naked in front of me?”

“Nothing you’ve not seen before.” Harry shrugged as he pulled on some pants and jeans. “Anyway, I don’t have time to wait for you to hobble out of my room, wrinkly.”

Liam shook his head and left the room. Harry quickly finished getting ready, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He made his way into Camden, reaching Louis’ little shop within ten minutes. He was making good time.

“Hey,” he said casually as he strolled through the door, as if he hadn’t bent over backwards to be here, as if he hadn’t hurried here, worried about his bloody schedule.

“Oh! There he is!” Louis scoffed, folding his arms and cocking an eyebrow. “You’re in big trouble, mate.”

“Me?” Harry frowned. “What did I do?”

“Don’t give me that!” Louis shook his head, eyes throwing daggers at Harry. “Do you think I don’t know that you called the paps on yourself?”

_ Shit. _

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry replied lightly, approaching the counter and walking around it towards Louis. 

Louis held his hand up to stop him, wedding ring catching the light and blinding Harry for a split second. He walked right past Harry to the door and locked it before turning around and shaking his head.

“You are  _ unbelievable. _ What part of ‘I don’t want your help’ did you not understand? I said no, and you did it anyway.”

“No, Louis. You said you didn’t want any  _ financial _ help. This was a great way for me to help you out without having to give you anything. Did it work?”

“How else do you think I found out?” Louis rolled his eyes. “Yes. Happy? I was swamped the first few days. That doesn’t make it okay.”

Harry sighed and sagged his shoulders. “Louis. Look. I care about you a lot. You were so good to me when we were younger; you were such a positive thing in my life. I just want to give back. I want to help you. I know you probably think it’s tacky, but do you have to be so pig-headed?”

“Pig-headed?”

“Yes, Louis. Pig-headed. You might lose your business. You used your late husband’s life insurance to start this place up, and you’re willing to lose it just because you’re too stubborn to let me help you? There’s so many ways I can help without giving you a handout, I just wish you’d fucking let me.”

Louis folded his arms again and scoffed softly. “You didn’t need to bring Ethan up. That was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t. I’m trying to get you to comprehend your own situation, Lou. Don’t try and guilt your way out of it.” Harry cleared his throat. “We’re not kids anymore. We’re old men.”

“Also uncalled for.”

“This isn’t me giving you a Rolex because you’re a good fuck.” Harry looked at Louis’ wrist and cracked a small smile. “Which, I’d like to remind you, you’re still wearing.”

“Whatever.”

“Stop being so stroppy,” Harry said in amusement. “Look, we can talk about this. We can discuss ways to do it that you’re comfortable with, but I think it’s really stupid to refuse my help just to protect your pride.”

Louis sighed, all the tension releasing from his body. He raised his eyebrows, shaking his head as he unlocked the door.

“I don’t want any handouts. And I don’t want to resort to anything cheap. Think of something subtle.”

Louis headed back around behind the counter and Harry tentatively approached him with his arms out. Louis rolled his eyes as he accepted the hug.

“You’re a dickhead, do you know that?” Louis whispered softly.

“Yeah.” Harry grinned into his neck. “But you love me.”

They pulled apart and Louis immediately busied himself on his laptop. Harry gave his apologies and headed back home, racking his brains for what he could do next.

-

“Hiya, love!” Louis waved avidly at his phone screen.

_ “Hi, Dad! It’s so good to see your face. I’ve had the worst day.” _

“Aw, I’m sorry darling. You wanna talk about it?”

_ “Just dumb school stuff. It doesn’t matter. How are you? And… where are you?” _

“Just hanging out at Harry’s. He’s cooking lunch, then we’re gonna watch some films in his cinema room.” Louis turned his head to smile at Harry, who was half-watching Louis as he cooked.

_ “Okay… and you two are still ‘just friends’, are you?” _

“Em, I’d like to take this opportunity to let you know that Harry can hear you.”

Harry laughed and walked over, grabbing Louis’ face roughly and planting a kiss on his cheek. Louis yelped and screwed his face up.

“See?” Harry grinned.

_ “Is that supposed to convince me?!” _

“Emily.” Harry smiled sweetly. “Did you not see the look of disgust on your father’s face? Did he really look like someone who was being kissed by his bae?”

“Harry,” Louis said, exasperated. “No. Don’t say bae. God, you’re so old and uncool.”

_ “Sorry, Harry. He’s right. No one’s said bae since I was a baby.” _

“Since you were a bae-by.” Harry turned to grin stupidly at Louis. “Eh?”

“Oh, God. Can you please just go and finish making lunch?”

Harry poked his tongue out at Louis before looking at the screen. “Bye, Emily. Was lovely to speak to you briefly, but I’m being sent away.”

_ “Bye!” _ Emily laughed as Harry retreated.  _ “Dad.” _

“Em?”

_ “Can we talk in private? No offence, Harry!” _

“None taken!” Harry called from the kitchen, grinning as Louis took his phone and left the room. Harry switched off the hob and turned away to fetch two bowls from the cupboard, humming quietly to himself.

“I’m starving,” Louis announced as he walked back in the room and pocketed his phone. “Is it ready?”

“Yup, just dishing up.” Harry glanced over at Louis. “That was quick.”

Louis sighed, approaching Harry and leaning on the worktop. “You get to a certain age where roles switch and your kids start parenting you. She just gave me a talking to. Be careful, don’t get hurt, all that crap.”

Harry raised his eyebrows as he dished out the stir fry between the bowls. “So, she still doesn’t believe you.”

“I don’t think it’s that. I just think she’s being overcautious.”

“Aw,” Harry said with a grin. “She’s looking after her precious dad’s heart.”

“Yes. She’s protecting me from the big, bad rock star.”

“Hm,” Harry grunted in amusement.  _ “That _ ship’s sailed.”

He carried the bowls over to the table and they sat opposite each other, a small grin playing on Louis’ lips. Harry narrowed his eyes, curious about Louis’ expression. He watched as Louis speared a piece of chicken on his fork.

“Had any ideas, then?” Louis asked. “Shop wise?”

“I’ve been thinking about holding an event or something.”

“Harry.” Louis sighed. “My tiny shop can’t hold events. And if you’re gonna help out, you need to think of something that will bring a steady flow of customers, not one big influx.”

“Alright, alright.” Harry chewed on a mouthful of food thoughtfully. “Signed copies of Harry Styles: The Unauthorised Biography?”

Louis smirked. “I won’t let you endorse that crap.”

“Seriously, though. Signing some stuff and telling people it’s here would be a good way, no? Like some old CDs I have lying around that aren’t available anymore.”

“I’m a bookshop, Haz.”

“Some bookshops used to sell CDs, Louis. It’s not that weird.”

“Hm.” Louis shrugged relenting. “Alright. I’ll think about that one.”

“Or I could release a book! Sign copies exclusively for your shop.”

_ “Used _ bookshop, Harry,” Louis said with a grin. “I had an idea myself, actually.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, impressed. “Yeah?”

“If you’re good with it of course,” Louis said. “You could, every now and then, post a picture of yourself or of something else on Instagram, with the shop in the background, or inside the shop, or in the direct area. Do you know what I mean?”

“Huh. Like, implying that I’m here without explicitly making it obvious?”

Louis shrugged. “Yeah. Thought it’d be more classy than the pap pics.”

Harry stuck his tongue out. “Whatever. Yeah, okay. I think it could work.”

-

Harry pushed his glasses up his nose and self-consciously patted his hair.

“It’s too windy to do this right now.”

“Aw.” Louis smirked. “Worried about your curls?”

“Yes!”

“It looks cool. Will you just pose? You know how to do that, at least.”

Harry leaned his elbow on the door frame just by his head and crossed his ankles. Louis stood at the kerb and snapped a couple of photos.

“Perfect. Um, how about a photo inside? You sitting on a pile of books?”

Harry snorted in amusement, walking inside and holding the door for Louis. “You’ve found your calling.”

Louis just rolled his eyes and handed Harry the phone to show him the photos. Harry frowned.

“I take it back. Louis, you didn’t even get the shop name in the shots.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be very subtle, would it?” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “They’ll put two and two together,  _ and  _ they’ll be proud of themselves for it.”

“I like how you think I’ve actually still got a fanbase.”

“Harry, after you got yourself papped, people came from far and wide to buy a book just because you’d stepped foot in here.”

Harry smiled smugly. “Yeah, true.”

Louis started to pile up some books, so Harry grabbed his coffee from the counter and took a swig. Louis seemed agile for his age. Not that he was doing acrobatics or anything, but Harry would be complaining like hell if he bent down to stack books on the floor like Louis was doing. Harry took a swig of his coffee and hummed.

“Hey, you know what you should get? A coffee machine.”

“Alright, calm down. This isn’t Waterstones.”

“The smell of coffee draws people in. You could sell it cheap, it only costs, like, 10p per cup or something, so you’d make a good profit. Or, if you weren’t keen on making money from the coffee instead of books, give a cup away for free with every purchase. And just up your prices by 10p per book.”

Louis looked unconvinced. “Then I wouldn’t make any additional profit.”

“Unless someone bought two books,” Harry said, growing more enthusiastic. “Then you’ve gained 10p. And what about the person who buys five books but doesn’t want a coffee? 50p. And what about the person who is lured in by the promise of free coffee? That’s profit from a book sale you wouldn’t have had otherwise.”

Louis stared at him incredulously. “Wow. You’ve got it all worked out.”

“I’m a businessman, Louis.”

“So I see. Okay, but I can’t afford the investment on a coffee machine, even if it’s only a hundred quid.”

“Well, I-” Harry smiled at Louis placatingly. “I promise this is true… I have a filter coffee machine at home I don’t use. I used it for a few weeks until I went round my friend’s place and he showed me his Nespresso machine. There are  _ so many  _ capsules available!”

“What about tea drinkers?”

“So, keep a kettle and tea bags next to the coffee machine.”

Louis rolled his eyes with a smile. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

Harry nodded, pleased. He sat carefully on the stack of books Louis had prepared and looked up at him. “So, what’s the caption gonna be?”

Louis pouted in thought. “Something about the season? Or turning sixty?”

“How about I sit here and read a book? It’ll give a nice old man aesthetic.”

“Ha! Shut up.” Louis handed him a hardback book. 

Harry took the sleeve off of it and held the blank-covered, inconspicuous book up to his face. He used his free hand to prop his chin up, elbow on his knee. “How’s this?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

Louis snapped a few photos before handing the phone to Harry for him to look. 

“Oh, nice! Can you send them all to me? I think I’ll upload the book one, then upload the one outside a little later on.”

Harry handed the phone back and Louis looked at Harry for a few seconds. “Thank you for this.”

“No problem. I like other people benefiting from my fame and money and all that.” Harry shrugged. “And you should, especially.”

“Come on. I didn’t do anything.”

Harry’s phone vibrated in his pocket as Louis’ messages came through. “You had more of an effect on me than you’ll ever know, love.” 

The door opened and Louis turned his attention to serving the customer. Harry picked one of the few photos that Louis had taken of him with the book, uploading it to his Instagram and captioning it,  _ ‘Thanks for the birthday messages last week. You’re all lovely. Getting old now.’ _

“I do have that title, but it’s in storage. If you pop back in a couple of days, I’ll fetch it for you. Can I take your name?”

Harry’s photo was already at seven thousand likes. Gemma and Ed had liked it, as had Liam. Harry hadn’t told Liam about Louis yet. The customer left and Harry stood, with difficulty, from the stack of books.

“Do you have a database of all of your books?”

“Yup. And when I sell a book, I scan it and it takes it off.”

“Wow. That’s quite comprehensive for a little used bookshop.”

“Well, I can’t bear disorganisation. And it’s much easier to sell books if you know what stock you’ve got. Otherwise the ones I have in storage would just rot.”

“You’ve got storage space too?”

Louis grinned. “By storage, I mean my flat. When Emily stayed, I had to clear a path to the bed in the spare room. Boxes everywhere. I just hope my flat never catches fire, because the whole place is kindling.”

“Bloody hell.” Harry laughed. “Well, I’m very impressed.”

“I have a website too, where people can search and reserve books to pick them up. I don’t get a lot of traffic, though.” Louis looked at Harry and pointed sternly when he went to open his mouth. “Don’t you dare post the link.”

Harry smirked, shrugging.

-

Harry yawned as he sat in front the TV. He was falling asleep, but first things first, he needed to upload the second photo.

It was a nice photo. The natural lighting was very kind to Harry, and his choice of thicker framed glasses helped hide his crow’s feet. Harry wasn’t overly vain these days, but hanging out with Louis was niggling at his insecurities. In their youth, Louis had been compact, sexy, indecent. Nowadays he was handsome, refined, mature, and Harry felt as used and tattered as the books in Louis’ shop.

Harry whacked a filter on the picture for good measure - making sure, of course, the shop front was still recognisable - and mused over the caption. 

_ ‘Sixty. And you said I’d never get old.’ _

-

The two of them decided to have dinner at Harry’s once a week, normally on a Tuesday but subject to change if somebody’s schedule called for it. That was usually Harry, although Louis had to work late one Tuesday when one of his bookshelves collapsed. He absolutely refused Harry’s assistance, of course.

After a long meeting about his upcoming album one Tuesday, Harry was absolutely shattered. He got home at 6pm and fell promptly asleep on the sofa, waking up at just before seven when Gwen sent Louis through.

“Wakey, wakey, Styles!”

Harry rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. He sighed. He was supposed to make dinner and have it ready by the time Louis arrived.

“Ugh. Sorry, Lou. I passed out as soon as I sat down. Shall we go out for dinner instead?”

Louis folded his arms, smirking down at Harry. “Alright. Let me take you somewhere.”

“You can’t afford to!”

“Excuse me, I don’t want you to pay for my meals. I won’t be a kept man. I’ll take you somewhere cheap, no worries.”

Louis took Harry straight down to McDonald’s. Harry found it altogether very amusing, relishing in the feeling of being amongst regular people. 

“‘The common folk’, you mean?” Louis asked, amused. “Honestly, Harry. You should integrate more.”

Harry adjusted his beanie, making sure all his curls were tucked away. “I didn’t say anything about common folk! Don’t put words in my mouth. All my other friends are celebrities so I can’t come to places like this with them, can I? Imagine I turn up to a McDonald’s with Ed?”

“What about Liam?”

“Would Batman be able to fly under the radar with Robin by his side?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “What are you on about?”

“I’m just trying to say that I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. I’d love to be able to live like a normal person. I don’t want you to think I’m one of those famous people who doesn’t know how to function in real society.”

“Harry, you’re really famous and you’re always going to be really famous. You are sixty years old and you are a household name.”

“I know!” Harry whined. “And?”

“I’m just saying. You’ll never be normal. Face it.”

“You really think anybody is going to care about me when I’m eighty?”

Louis smiled and nudged Harry. “Of course they will. You mean a lot to a lot of people. And not just our generation. Your music will live far longer than you do.”

Harry wasn’t sure if he felt good about that or not. When he was younger, he always assumed his lifestyle would catch up to him and he would die young. Now that he was on the straight and narrow, body remarkably unscathed from his antics, he no longer expected to drop dead at any minute. For him, it made the fear of dying a lot worse. Not that he was exactly leaving a lot of people behind.

“You’re thinking about dying now aren’t you?” Louis frowned and reached over to squeeze Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugged. “We’re at that age though, aren’t we? It starts to creep into the back of your mind.”

“I’m sorry,” Louis said again. “Is there something I can do to make you feel young again?”

Harry laughed lightly. “I doubt it. Although… You know what we should do?”

“What?”

-

“I thought you were off drugs for good?”

Harry snorted. “Weed doesn’t count.” He glanced at Louis. “Does it?”

“Well, are you addicted?”

“No. I don’t really smoke it much anymore.”

“Well, fair enough, then. Everything in moderation.”

Harry lit the spliff, inhaled, and sighed. “Besides, I don’t like doing it by myself. There are some things I can’t do with Gwen.”

Louis took the spliff as Harry offered it. “Do you just keep some around for a rainy day?”

Harry grinned, chewing his bottom lip. “Honestly? Sometimes I bake with it. Just a little bit. Not enough to get  _ high _ as such, but I get a sore hip sometimes, so it helps with the pain when it’s bad.”

“Oh, my God.” Louis giggled. “You bloody stoner.”

“Shut up!”

Harry felt his body start to relax. He slumped into the squishy cushions of the sofa and sighed. He should book a massage, honestly. He was sixty, now. He deserved to feel relaxed.

“Hey.” Louis nudged him. “Still got that house out in LA?”

Harry frowned. “What house?”

“The one I came to. All I remember is a pool and a really cool shower.”

“Oh.” Harry shook his head. “Nope. Got rid of it not long after you left. I don’t even have a place in LA anymore. I mean, I own places that I rent out, but I don’t have my own home.”

“How come?” Louis asked. “Weren’t you living out there?”

“Yeah. I left the UK completely for a good while.” He sighed. “I came back because my mum got ill, so I moved back to be nearer to her. When she got sick, I really realised how important family was and it didn’t really matter career-wise where I was living, you know? I was only seeing the grandkids - um, that is, Gemma’s grandkids - over the summer. So, I wanted to be closer to them, too.”

“Your mum, is she-”

“Oh, she’s alive and kicking.” Harry let out a little laugh to himself. “She lives with Gemma now. We’re all down here in London.”

“Oh. Good.” Louis nodded. “So, in a way, we both came back for similar reasons, then.”

“Suppose so.” Harry turned to look at Louis. “Hey. Can I ask you something?”

“Mmhmm.” Louis kicked his shoes off and slid down to lay flat on the plush, grey corner sofa. Harry did the same and their feet met in the corner. 

“You told me you didn’t tell your husband about everything that happened between us. Was it because you were embarrassed?”

Louis turned his head to look at him with a pained expression. “No, no. Not at all. Please don’t think that. It’s just… alright, look. I made no secret of my promiscuity to either Craig or Ethan. Do you remember that one time I got carried away and we had unprotected sex? Well, the next morning I headed to the clinic and I saw Craig after. I told him straight up, ‘I was irresponsible and needed to be tested’. So he knew right off the bat that I was having casual sex.”

“Okay… So was it me you were-”

“No, no. Wait.” Louis held his head and frowned, confused. “I just didn’t want it to be a thing. You were, like, the most famous singer in the world. You were  _ everywhere. _ I didn’t want our history to haunt me and my relationships forever. I wanted to be able to watch you on TV, for example, without there being baggage. You know?”

Harry’s head was a bit foggy. “Wow.”

“I wanted to keep it a secret, just for me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah.” Harry smiled and nudged Louis’ foot with his toe. “I get it now.”

“I thought about you all the time,” Louis confessed quietly. “And that was private to me.”

Harry’s heart swelled. He rolled off of his side of the sofa and approached Louis, trying his best to lay down on the sofa next to him to give him a cuddle. He finally managed to stay put for about three seconds before he rolled backwards and fell straight onto the floor with a thud.

“Ahh, fuck!” Harry cried out. “I’m too old to be stoned, man.”

Louis flipped over onto his front and stared down at Harry with wide eyes.

“Jesus, are you alright? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

Harry snorted and started to giggle uncontrollably. “I’m not fuckin’ eighty-nine, Louis! I only fell two foot!”

Louis started to giggle too, and he rolled himself off the sofa, plopping on top of Harry who cried out again before he rolled off him. He laid next to Harry and sighed.

“I’m so glad you have this fluffy rug here.” Louis grinned. “I’d have hated it if we’d fallen on the hardwood floor.”

“I’d probably have cracked something.”

Louis buried his face in Harry’s shoulder and continued to giggle. “Oh, gosh. We’re ridiculous.”

“I’m sleepy.” Harry sighed. “Can I sleep here?”

“You’ll get terrible backache, mister. No. Come on. Let’s get up.”

Louis carefully pulled himself to his feet, Harry wincing as Louis’ bones clicked and cracked. He held his hand out for Harry and helped him up.

“You wanna stay?” Harry asked, vaguely realising he was probably standing a bit close. “You can’t drive home stoned. Stay.”

Louis agreed and Harry took his hand and they headed upstairs.

“I once watched this documentary on how they make cocaine,” Harry hazily told Louis. “They use, like, cement and petrol and caustic soda, and shit.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was doing really well with my recovery at that point and I was kind of like… never again.”

“I’m so glad.”

Harry grinned to Louis as they arrived at the spare room. “Um, the toothbrush you used last time is still in there. The clothes you wore last time are in there, too. Washed and dried and folded.”

“Expecting me again, were you?”

“Yeah!” Harry beamed.

Louis, in a sudden, tender move, slipped his hand around the back of Harry’s neck and kissed him softly on the cheek. Harry smiled and squeezed his hand.

“Night, Lou.”

“Goodnight.”

-

Harry knocked on the door, grinning to himself.

“Lou? Louis, breakfast is ready.” He let out a quiet laugh. “I’d come in, but I’m afraid of what I might see.”

The door suddenly opened, surprising Harry who stumbled backwards. Louis smirked, shaking his head. His dark grey hair was sticking up in every direction and his glasses barely disguised his sleep-heavy eyes. Harry’s smirk melted into a soft smile.

“Look!” Louis said and gestured to his crotch. “I’m perfectly in control of my body this morning.”

Harry took his word for it. They headed downstairs and ate a quiet breakfast together. Harry had been continuing the subtle push of the bookshop, often making an effort to have photos with fans in the street on Parkway. He also found himself there more often than necessary. It just felt so good to him to have a friend, a simple,  _ normal _ friend. He wanted to be around Louis all the time.

“How’s the shop?”

Louis nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve definitely seen sales go up. The kid I employ to help out, George, is gonna sort out the coffee machine for me today.”

“Oh, yay!”

“I’ve got a good feeling. I think it might just work.” Louis reached across the table and ran the back of his finger over Harry’s knuckles where they clutched his mug. “Thank you, Harry. For arguing back and insisting on helping.”

He couldn’t help it. Harry had forgotten a lot of shit over the years, but he would never forget the way Louis held him as he cried bitterly, and he’d never forget the way Louis told him he was worth something and deserved to be treated with kindness. Harry didn’t feel like he could ever repay Louis for the way he had looked after him. Louis probably didn’t realise, but he’d had a profound effect on Harry’s confidence and self-respect. He reckoned he would probably do just about anything for Louis.

“You’re welcome.” 

Louis smiled, before downing the rest of his tea. “Right. I’d best be off. Pop by when you can and see how the coffee machine is going down.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

Harry saw Louis out and promised to come and visit the shop later in the week. For now, he jumped in the shower and got ready to head over to Liam’s.

-

**Rumour mill: Harry Styles to tour?**

**\---**

“I’m too old,” Harry whined.

“Harry, that’s not true. You’d just need to get fit. But you’d rock it, and we’re not talking a forty-date thing, just-”

“What if my voice isn’t up to it?”

“Your voice is fine. You know full well it is.” Liam sighed. “I’m talking, like, three days, Wembley Stadium. Market it as your final concerts and it’ll sell out instantly.”

Harry huffed, scratching his arm. “Do I even have a choice?”

“It’s not like that, mate.” Liam narrowed his eyes. “I know you want to do it. I know what this is really about.”

“I don’t want to box myself in like that, and I also don’t want to be that guy who says it’s his last concert then does a concert a few years later.”

“We can word it a certain way, it’ll be fine. You’ll still perform at your charity concerts and all that.”

“I’m just…” Scared. Harry was scared. It was daunting, the thought of getting back up there again. “Alright. Let me think about it.”

“Okay.” Liam looked at him. “Can I ask you something? As your best friend?”

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Go on.”

Liam tilted his head and fixed him with the ghost of a smirk. “Where do you keep running off to? And Gwen tells me you’ve been having a bit more company these days.”

“Fuck,” Harry muttered. “That bloody snitch. I’m sacking her. I hope you’re happy with yourself. You’ve lost her her job, now.”

“Harry.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Okay. Cast your mind back to when I was a mere child of nineteen, and you were my assistant.”

Liam frowned in confusion. “Um, okay.”

“Do you remember Louis? A guy I met back when-”

“Do I remember Louis?” Liam scoffed. “The lad you were fucking for years before he left and you had a complete breakdown?  _ That  _ Louis?”

Harry folded his arms grumpily. “That’s neither here nor there. It was a long time ago. Anyway, I bumped into him a couple of months ago and we’ve been hanging out a lot.”

“Picked up where you left off?”

“No. No,” Harry said with a laugh. “We’re just friends. You know I’m not interested in romance anymore.”

“You were never very interested in  _ romance,  _ Harry.”

“That’s not true, Liam. You know that.”

Liam stared at him for a few seconds before finally shrugging. “Alright, well. I hope he doesn’t run off again.”

“No, no. He’s very settled here. Things are very different than they were back then. We’re in our sixties, for God’s sake. It’s just really nice to have a friend who isn’t a celebrity or who doesn’t work for me.”

Liam nodded. “Fair.”

“Aw.” Harry grinned. “Don’t worry, Li. You’re still my best friend.”

“Good.” Liam grinned right back at him.

“In all seriousness, I owe you my life. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

Liam’s face softened, but he frowned. “You wouldn’t have got into that state if it wasn’t for Louis.”

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Liam. He fell in love. Can’t be angry at him for that.”

Liam sighed. He turned his head to look out into Harry’s garden, and Harry followed his eyes. Harry’s cat, Stevie, was trotting across the grass towards her cat flap. She stopped just short of the cat flap to lick her foot.

“I’m not going to tell you to be careful or anything because you’re an adult. But…”

“Liam, he’s a sixty-two year old bookshop owner ex-teacher. He’s hardly a big bad maneater.”

-

Harry walked into the shop and was immediately accosted by a small group of women who were in there. He chatted to them for a while and had photos with them. When they finally left, he sighed and grinned at Louis.

“How’s it going?”

“I think people are just coming in hoping to see you. We had a guy in here earlier who hung around for nearly three hours. When I got in, George was starting to get a bit worried.”

“Ha! Bless him. If only he had come just a bit later.” Harry nodded towards the coffee machine and winked. “Make me a coffee, love.”

_ “Please,”  _ Louis prompted. “And you have to make a purchase.”

Harry scoffed and put his hand in his pocket. He slammed a £20 note on the counter, and Louis rolled his eyes, pushing the note towards Harry. Harry pushed it back towards him.

“I’d like to purchase a signed vintage Harry Styles CD, please.”

“We’ll have to sell them for more than £20, Harry.”

“A-ha!” Harry cheered triumphantly. “Are you saying you’ll sell my CDs?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Fine. But I don’t want to advertise them. And I don’t want them to be too expensive. I want them to bring people here, it’s not about the money from the CD.”

“Fine. How’s the coffee going?”

“It’s good, I think. Only about half the people that come in want one. Sales have gone up, so I’m making money off the extra 10p I put on my prices.”

Harry nodded, smirking. “Good.”

“Alright, don’t look so smug.”

“I am a businessman, you know. I’m a very successful artist.”

“Yes, I know. Thank you for reminding me.” Louis nudged Harry out of the way and grabbed a few books to shelve. He walked towards the back of the shop and Harry followed. “I’d completely forgotten you were one of the most recognisable faces in the country. The world, maybe.”

“Absolutely not,” Harry replied. “Ed has a more recognisable face. Or that kid that keeps getting in trouble. The one that got arrested last week.”

“Oh, I think I heard something about that. I heard they’re calling him ‘the new Harry Styles’.”

“Seriously?” Harry scoffed. “He can’t even sing. Ed did a concert with him. I popped in to visit and heard his soundcheck and he was awful.”

“And you’re better than him?”

“At my worst I was better than him.”

Louis placed the last book on the shelf and led Harry back to the front. “Well, people like you come along once in a lifetime.”

Harry smirked. “That’s sweet.”

Louis let out a little laugh as he slipped behind the counter and started to pour Harry a cup of coffee. “Well, that’s me.”

“Hey.” Harry leaned on the counter and fiddled with the ring on his left middle finger. “Instead of dinner on Tuesday, how’d you fancy going to the theatre? My friend from this film I’m doing is in a play.”

“Yeah, that sounds great. But how about dinner afterwards? I’ll get George to open on Wednesday, so I can stay out late.”

“Sure.”

-

The car pulled up outside Louis’ place, and Harry looked up at the building they’d pulled up in front of. Louis had mentioned he had a two-bedroom flat in Holloway but it seemed nicer from the outside than Harry had expected. When Louis emerged, Harry cracked a small smile. 

“Wow,” he remarked as Louis slid onto the back seat next to him. “You look great.”

Louis adjusted the collar of his suit jacket. “Oh, thanks. I didn’t know if this was too smart. People don’t dress up for the theatre anymore, do they? Will I look like an old man?”

“No, you look nice. Now, if you were wearing a tie, I would’ve told you to take it off. Anyway, I’m wearing practically the same thing.” Harry pointed to his suit jacket, hung on the headrest in front of him. “Although… I think you should just…”

Harry reached over and undid the third button on Louis’ shirt, the last one he had fastened. Louis watched with mild amusement on his face.

“Steady on,” he said lightly.

“That button’s the difference between old man and sexy old man.”

“Hey! You said I didn’t look like an old man.” Louis pouted. “You lied.”

“No, no. Bad phrasing. It’s the difference between… dad, and sexy dad.”

“Never say ‘sexy dad’ about me in front of Emily, please.”

Harry scoffed. “If that offends her, she should hear some of the things I used to call you back in our 20s.”

“Harry!” Louis cried out in surprise, laughing slightly. “Can we just… not?”

Harry giggled lightly, watching out of the window as they drove through Camden. He still couldn’t get over it. He had more or less always lived in the borough of Camden during his time in London. It had been his home for a long time, and for Louis to move back and land in this very same borough… it was almost like serendipity.

Harry suddenly got the urge to take Louis’ hand, but he thought better of it.

“So,” he said instead. “Where do you want to go for dinner afterwards?”

“Not sure. Let’s just go with the flow. See where the night takes us.”

Liam had arranged for the two of them to use a private suite before the show and in the interval, and a box to watch the show from. Louis found it all very unnecessary.

“What, so you can’t sit among regular folk?”

“It was Liam who booked it! Not me. I would have happily sat in the audience. Anyway, I want to treat you.”

Louis rolled his eyes at Harry as their host showed them into their private suite. There was a big, brown leather sofa and two chairs, and a table full of drinks and snacks. The host left them alone and Harry walked straight over to the table and popped open a bottle of champagne.

“You do enough for me. It’s a constant struggle with you, isn’t it?”

“What?” Harry asked with a laugh.

“To get you to stop throwing money at me.”

“Look,” Harry said with a sigh. “That’s not what this is. I like to live a comfortable life. That’s it. Not extravagant, just comfortable. I like to think that I earned it.”

Louis frowned as Harry brought two glasses of champagne over to the sofa and sat down next to Louis. Louis nodded.

“You have. Yeah.”

“So?” Harry shrugged. “I want to spend time with you and have a nice time. I’m not ‘throwing money at you’, as you put it. I understand you don’t want me to pay for everything. But there’s no point making things difficult for yourself by paying for dinner, for example, when it would make no difference to my life if I paid for it.”

Louis sighed. “I just don’t want anything in this friendship to be one-sided.”

“Alright.” Harry nodded. “Well, how about we alternate our Tuesday dinners? Next week, I’ll come round to yours and you can cook.”

“God! I’m not very good at cooking. And my flat is-”

“I’m trying to come up with a solution here!” Harry cried out, laughing. “I don’t care if it’s an average dinner squashed into a tiny flat with boxes of books to sit on instead of chairs.”

“Really?” Louis smiled softly. “When was the last time you were inside the home of a real person?”

“A real person? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Someone who isn’t rich!”

“Do you wanna hear a story?” Harry asked, checking his watch to make sure he had time before the show started. “I know that now I’m a sad, single old man, but that wasn’t always the case. I haven’t been in a ton of relationships, but I have been in a few. Twenty years ago, I think it was, I was seeing this guy. I met him in Burger King, of all places, up in Birmingham. He was serving behind the counter and he literally walked out in the middle of his shift to come back to my hotel. I felt like he never left. We were seeing each other for six months and after the first month, I practically lived at his. He lived in this dingy little one-bed place above a chicken shop in a horrible part of the city, but  _ God _ I loved it there.”

“Wow.”

“There was actually a time when I ran away.” Harry giggled to himself at the memory. “I felt like I just wanted to give it all up. Not be famous anymore. Liam didn’t know about Logan, so he had no idea where to look for me. I felt bad after three days, but I didn’t half scare the shit out of Liam.”

“So, what happened to Logan?”

Harry shrugged. “Just. It didn’t work out. I think my depression freaked him out a bit, to be honest.”

“Oh.” 

A bar bell sounded in the distance and Harry stood up to top up their glasses before they were taken to their seats. 

“I don’t really think about it anymore, but I’ll never forget that six months with Logan Thompson. Living in that tiny flat was a really humbling experience.”

“I’m sorry you’ve not had much luck with dating.”

Harry shrugged. “I’ve never done very well all on my own, but then again, I’m such a mess. I can’t expect someone else to put up with it. It’s hard enough putting up with it myself.”

Their host came and escorted them to the royal box. Harry had to admit, as much as he liked to think of himself as connected to the people, he hated sitting among people in an audience. People rustling sweet papers, people whispering to each other, people getting up to go to the toilet every five minutes. Here, it was just Harry and Louis. 

Back in the day, they would most definitely fail to get through the performance without someone making someone come. Nowadays, Harry couldn’t even remember when he last came.

Harry found the play a little boring. His friend, Mark, was good, but otherwise he just couldn’t focus. It was far more entertaining turning his head to watch people in the audience, or watching Louis.

Louis was either really into the play or he was doing a great job of faking it. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he listened to the dialogue, occasionally sipping his glass of champagne until he had drained his glass. He put it down on the floor by the side of his chair and Harry got the strange urge to refill it. He had left the bottle in the suite.

The interval finally rolled around and as soon as their host left them in the suite alone, Harry groaned as loudly as he could.

“Are you enjoying it?” Harry asked Louis.

“It’s okay. I’m having to really concentrate to keep up with what’s going on.”

Harry blew a raspberry through his lips. “It’s so boring!”

Louis smirked, amused. “Are you saying you want to leave? I don’t mind.”

“No, no.” Harry paused for a second to contemplate it, but quickly quashed the idea. “I can’t. I have to be an adult and stay. For Mark.”

“Alright. You’d better ask that girl for another bottle of champagne.”

Harry took the stopper off of the first bottle and drained it into their glasses. Harry gulped down half of it at once and Louis giggled.

“It’s  _ that  _ bad?”

“I spent the majority of the first act staring at the back of your head.”

A smirk played on Louis’ lips, but he just laughed instead. Harry placed his glass on the floor and swiveled in his seat, laying his head down in Louis’ lap. He felt Louis freeze for a second before relaxing.

“Lou?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think about him every day? Like every single day?”

“Who?” Louis asked quietly. “Ethan?”

“Yeah.”

Louis sighed. “Yeah. But not, like, in a sad way as such. Sometimes, something will happen and I’ll wish he was here so I could tell him. Or I’ll see something on TV and think, ‘oh, Ethan would’ve loved that’. Just everyday stuff really. I don’t get sad on a daily basis. Just every now and then.”

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, you know. Life is so unfair.”

“Thank you. I know, but you have to look at the positives or it’ll eat you alive. I have a wonderful daughter and I see Ethan in her every day. We had practically thirty years together. I’ll always be grateful that we found each other, you know? A heart attack can’t erase the years of memories.”

“You’re a wonderful person, you know. You’re so strong.”

“I don’t feel strong some days.” Louis sighed, absently slipping his fingers into Harry’s thin curls. “But I get through. I just have to remember all the things I have to live for. Getting to see my extended family often really helps with that.”

Harry closed his eyes. Louis’ fingers teased his curls and stroked over his scalp as he spoke, soft and fond. Harry loved that they could be like this. Harry never felt like he was overstepping when he was tactile with Louis, and Louis never made him feel like he was, either.

There was a knock on the door and the host walked in.

“Two minutes until act two.”

“Um… would you mind if we stayed here for a bit longer? That wouldn’t cause you any problems? And we can head to the box if we want to?”

“Sure. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Would you kindly bring us another bottle of champagne, please?”

She nodded and left the room. Louis sighed.

“This is nice.”

“Yeah.” Harry looked up at Louis. “Sorry if you don’t like talking about Ethan.”

“Oh, I don’t mind. In fact, it’s nice to talk about him sometimes. Just… please don’t ask me about when he got ill. But everything else, I don’t mind at all.”

Harry chewed his bottom lip. He’d had something on his mind for a while, had been trying to find the right opportunity to voice it. Whether this was it, he didn’t know, but he found a way in and he took it.

“Can I ask you something? About Craig?”

“Craig?” Louis asked in surprise. “Um, okay.”

“Back in the day, you could’ve had any lad you wanted. Like, men fell at your feet. What made Craig the one who finally took you off the market?”

“Um, well… I’m not sure that was to do with Craig, to be honest. I think it was more that I was getting to the point where I was ready to settle down a bit, and Craig was just there. Right place, right time, sort of thing. I mean, I obviously didn’t think that at the time.”

_ I was there,  _ Harry thought to himself. “No.”

“But I suppose if you want to think about fate and all that, you would have to believe Craig had to come into my life to get me over to Australia to meet Ethan.”

“Can I tell you something? But don’t laugh at me.”

“Hey, why would I laugh at you?”

There was a soft knock on the door and the host brought a bottle of champagne in. She placed it on the table, retreating without a word.

“Okay, so, look.” Harry ran his palms over his thighs. They were a little sweaty. “I know it would probably have been a terrible idea, but… when you left me, I’d been thinking about asking you out. You know, do it right.”

“Are you serious?” Louis asked quietly before letting out a little laugh.

“Louis!” Harry abruptly sat up and kept his back to Louis, self-conscious. “You weren’t supposed to laugh.”

“Hey, come here.” Louis grabbed Harry’s shoulders and pulled him back down to his lap. Harry went easily. “I’m sorry. I’m laughing because…”

Louis trailed off and Harry wanted to scream. 

“Well?” he asked instead.

“Um…” Louis sighed and looked like he was trying to choose his words carefully. Harry’s heart was beating anxiously in his chest. “It’s just that… by the time I met Craig, I was starting to realise I was developing feelings for you and I was trying to nip it in the bud. It would’ve been a bad idea, I agree with you. You were in no position at that time to be in a relationship. That said, if you’d have asked, I would’ve probably said yes.”

The words hung in the air. Harry wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or what. The idea of wasted opportunity niggled at him, but in all honesty, it probably wouldn’t have worked out and then things might have been sour between them. They could’ve never seen each other ever again.

“Probably worked out for the best, really,” he said quietly.

“I reckon so.”

Not long later, they headed into the royal box to watch the rest of the show. They were both a bit distracted and when the show finished, they giggled together over the fact they’d even bothered to go back in.

“We should’ve just gone straight to dinner,” Louis said, slurring slightly. They’d managed to get through half of the second bottle of champagne and Louis was a bit pissed. “Talking’s more fun.”

Harry giggled. “You need food in you.”

Harry’s driver ushered them into the car, and they sat at the kerb pondering what to have.

“Indian?”

“Ooh, no. I’ll have trouble digesting anything spicy at this late hour.”

Harry pouted in thought. “Fish and chips?”

“How about pizza? Like, somewhere nice, not Pizza Hut.”

“Sure. Kane, can you drive us to that little place in Hampstead I love? I’ll give them a ring. They’d normally be closing in ten minutes but they’ll stay open for me.”

He turned to look at Louis, who he already knew would be rolling his eyes. 

-

“Thanks again for staying open late, Gino.”

“Anything for my best customer!”

“You tell that wife of yours I want that tiramisu cake recipe, or I’ll never step foot in here again!”

Gino laughed and patted Harry on the back. Harry said his goodbyes, leaving the restaurant and holding the door for Louis.

“Do you work your charm on absolutely everyone you come across?” Louis asked.

“It’s just my nature! I can’t help it.” Harry nudged Louis. “It’s late. You staying at mine?”

“No, no. I should go home.”

“Oh. Alright. Well, come on. We’ll drop you home.”

Kane pulled up in the car and Harry and Louis climbed into the back. Harry felt like something had shifted between them today, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. He watched Louis as he buckled his seatbelt, tucked his hands between his thighs and looked out the window. Every now and then, Harry could see glimpses of the young, carefree Louis he used to know, in the way his mouth twitched or fixed his hair. It would throw Harry right back into an unsettling feeling of being wild and insatiable. When Louis turned away from the window and promptly fell asleep, the ghost of young Louis was gone and Harry turned his body to watch him. 

Louis had been through a lot. He had packed up his entire life and moved to the other side of the world, only to be cheated on. He had then fallen in love with a man in a bad marriage, and became a widower far too young. Despite that, Louis seemed far more together, far less jaded, than Harry. Life had made things difficult for Louis, but Harry’s problems had been mostly self-inflicted. Harry reached out and took Louis’ hand, which was now resting on his leg. He just wanted the physical contact. He needed it.

Louis jerked awake, looking first at Harry and then at their hands. Harry nearly pulled his hand away but instead he smiled and turned to look out of the window.

“Nearly there,” Harry said.

Louis groaned sleepily. “I’m too old to have so much fun at night.”

Harry giggled and turned his head to look at Louis again. “Tonight was great.”

“Yeah.” Louis paused to yawn. “It was. I’m really happy to have found a friend, to be honest. All my friends are up in Manchester or Donny.”

Harry laid his head on his headrest. “Me too.”

Louis slid his hand out of Harry’s as they pulled up outside his building. “See you soon.”

“Um, I’m about to get kinda busy with the film. I’ll pop by the shop if I get time, but if not I’ll definitely be free for dinner next Tuesday.”

“Alright.” Louis reached over and squeezed Harry’s hand. “Thanks for tonight.”

“Thanks for coming.”

-

Harry arrived home and just managed to get upstairs before he collapsed face first onto his bed.

Who knew green screen work could be so exhausting?

Then again, any kind of prolonged physical activity and Harry was out for the count. He had been on set for fourteen hours and genuinely wasn’t sure how he was going to get off his bed in order to brush his teeth and get undressed.

His phone started to vibrate in his pocket and he groaned as loudly as he could manage. He reached down to pull it out and didn’t even look at the display before pressing answer then speakerphone, and laying the phone on the bed next to his face.

“What?”

_ “Well, good evening to you, too.” _

“Sorry, Lou. Hi.”

_ “What’s up, love?” _

“I’m so tired that I can barely move. Moving my lips now to talk to you is almost too much effort.”

Louis laughed and Harry whined. 

_ “Aww, sorry love. Is it all going well?” _

Harry sighed. “It’s great, yeah. It’s a lot of fun, actually. It’s nice to be so busy. And once I’m done, I’ll be recording my album.”

_ “That’s awesome! Lots of fun times ahead.” _

“For sure.” Harry smiled to himself. “How are you? How’s the shop?”

_ “Mm, okay. The constant coffee smell is great. You were right about that.” _

“Lou! I’m right about everything.”

_ “If you say so. Still on for Tuesday?” _

“I told you. I’ll make sure I’m free. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_ “Alright, well. Don’t get too excited. I’m a shit cook. Let me know when you know what time you’ll be able to get here.” _

“Can’t wait.”

_ - _

Climbing out of the car and approaching Louis’ door was almost more than Harry could handle, but at least he hadn’t driven himself here. He had taken a car directly from set and all he wanted to do was lay down and fall asleep. But he had promised Louis, and anyway, it had been a whole week since Harry had seen him.

Far too long.

“God, you look absolutely knackered.”

“Oh! Thanks!” Harry smiled sarcastically as Louis stood aside to let him in. “Just point me towards a sofa please.”

Louis led him down a narrow corridor and into his living room. It was small, with a squishy looking sofa against one wall and a TV on the opposite wall. Bookcases flanked the TV and there really were boxes and boxes of books  _ everywhere. _

“Sorry about the mess,” Louis said cheerfully. “Fancy a drink? Tea? Wine?”

“Ooh, I’d love a glass of white. Anything’s fine. Thanks.”

Harry plopped himself down on the sofa. He sunk right down into it and sighed with relief. He looked around. It wasn’t messy in here as such, just cluttered. It was very clean and things were in their rightful places, it was just… there were so many books. They were organised, the books seeming to be grouped together in boxes by letter. Some boxes were overflowing a bit.

“To be honest…” Louis sighed as he walked in the room and handed Harry a glass of white wine. “I haven’t bought any new books in ages. I’ve had a few people donating books, too, but I really don’t have room.”

“You should do a stall somewhere. Get George to do a shift on a Sunday morning and just do a car boot sale or something.” Harry paused, and Louis was just looking down at his own beer bottle. “Sorry, I just...”

“No, no. I think it could be a good idea.” Louis frowned in thought. “I could get, like, a cheap banner or something to advertise the shop while I’m at it. Or leaflets to put in the books.”

“Ah! I like the way you think.” Harry smirked. “And if you  _ really _ want people to flock to your stall…”

“You’re not allowed to come!” Louis laughed.

Louis had cooked spaghetti and meatballs, which they ate sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. It was nice, and domestic, and  _ normal. _

“This is so good, Louis,” Harry said, before shovelling more spaghetti into his mouth.

“Thanks. I had to cook something that I know I can just about pull off.”

Harry grinned at him and rolled his eyes. “I want beans on toast next time.”

“I can do that! And really well!” Louis laughed. “In fact, I-”

Louis’ phone started ringing on the arm of the sofa. He hummed and speared a meatball, popping it into his mouth before grabbing his phone. He answered and held it up to his face.

“Hi, love!”

_ “Hi, Dad! Can you talk?” _

“Sure. Just having dinner with Harry.”

“Hi, Emily!” Harry called.

_ “Hi! So, you let Harry come round.” _

“Shh!” Louis glanced at Harry before looking back at the screen. “Yes. I thought it would be good for the rock star to slum it.”

Harry swatted at his arm. “Hey!”

_ “It’s alright, Harry. Hey, at least if he annoys you, there’s plenty of books to throw at his head.” _

“Did you want something?” Louis asked, grinning.

_ “Oh.”  _ Emily cleared her throat.  _ “Yes. Um… well, I have some news.” _

Louis cocked an eyebrow sassily. Harry grinned to himself at seeing Louis in true Dad mode. He seemed to be expecting the worst. What was the worst? Pregnant? Engaged? Running off to join a cult?

_ “Don’t get mad.” _

Louis was all ready to get mad. “Come on, out with it.”

_ “I have decided I’m going to move.” _

Louis visibly relaxed. “Oh. Alright! Again?”

Emily smiled placatingly.  _ “Um, to London.” _

Harry could tell this was the last thing Louis had expected. His eyes were wide and his jaw was practically on the floor. 

_ “Dad?” _

“Um…” Louis let out a stifled laugh. “What- why?”

_ “Well, I’m restless here,”  _ Emily whined. _ “The job’s not giving me the satisfaction it used to, and I was thinking of changing schools, but I don’t think it’d do me any good.” _

“You know you can’t use your teaching qualifications over here.”

_ “I know. I just… I want to be with you, Dad. I hate being so far away. And I understand why you moved back, I do, and I don’t blame you for it. But I want to be with you. I want to come round for Sunday lunch and get drunk together and talk about the old days.” _

“Oh, darling.” Louis sighed. “I don’t want you to turn your whole world upside down just because you’re feeling a little down.”

_ “I’m not feeling down, Dad. I’ve been thinking about this all year, to be honest. I was thinking about it when I was over for Christmas, and it feels right.” _

“I just don’t want you to come over then decide it’s not for you.”

_ “Well, it’s not your decision. It’s mine, and I’ve decided.” _

Harry couldn’t help but grin widely. Trust Louis to raise such a strong-willed daughter. Harry knew that Louis only had Emily’s best interests at heart, but he could also tell that Louis was trying not to get excited, just in case it didn’t work out. 

“Well, alright,” Louis said, resigned. “So, when are you thinking of coming over?”

_ “My flight is in less than a month. I’ll email you the details.” _

“A month?!” Louis’ eyes widened again. “That’s so soon.”

Emily smiled broadly.  _ “Can I stay with you until I find my own place?” _

Louis sighed. “Of course you can. As long as you don’t mind books for a pillow and books for a floor.”

_ “God, I can’t wait!” _

Louis said his goodbyes to her not long after, and when they hung up he pressed his palms against his cheeks and turned to Harry.

“I can’t bloody believe it.”

Harry grinned. “You can be excited now, Lou. She can’t see you.”

Louis clenched his eyes shut and suddenly, he was crying. Harry was rather taken aback, but he put their plates on a box and wrapped his arms around Louis, who continued to cry quietly. Harry felt him shake his head and laugh slightly.

“I’m not gonna lie, Harry. This is practically a dream come true.”

“That’s so great. I’m so happy for you, love.”

Louis sat up and wiped his eyes, grinning widely.

-

Harry had Sunday off, so he went round to Louis’ to help him try and organise some of the books. They managed to get a good few boxes out of the flat and into the shop, and there probably wasn’t room for even one more book on the shelves. Word had got round that Harry was in the shop so, by closing time, the shop was bustling with people. Louis ended up closing an hour late and, once the doors were locked, Harry and Louis laid on the floor between two rows of shelves.

“I am exhausted.”

Harry scoffed softly. “Now you know how I’ve felt the last couple of weeks.”

“I don’t know how you’ve done it, honestly.” Louis punctuated with a yawn. “When do you finish?”

“Wednesday’s my last day for a bit. In a few weeks I have to head out to LA for a couple of days, and then I think I’m done.”

“Exciting.”

Harry shrugged noncommittally. “It’s a lot of fun, but I can’t wait to wake up naturally and be able to be naked for an entire day.”

Louis snorted. “It’s the little things, I suppose.”

“Yep.” Harry grunted and turned onto his side to face Louis. He hesitated before laying his head on Louis’ chest. “Ugh, I’m too old to lay on the floor.”

“Oh, we’ll get up in a sec. Give me a few moments to work up the courage to stand up.”

He wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulder and Harry smiled, closing his eyes. Louis’ easy affection gave Harry exactly what he craved in a companion, if he was honest. 

“I’m so glad we found our way back to each other,” Harry admitted.

“Aw.” Louis squeezed Harry tighter. “Me, too.”

“Who would’ve thought?” Harry said, giggling softly. “If you’d have told me back when you left that we’d reunite when we were sixty and we’d be just good mates… God. I’d have laughed in your face.”

“Crazy, innit?” Louis moved his hand up to gently tease Harry’s curls. “Hey. Thank you for giving up your Sunday off for me.”

“Oh, no worries. I had a lovely time. There’s just something about this shop that I love. Being here… I dunno. It feels like it settles me a bit.”

“I’m glad,” Louis said quietly. “Hey. You wanna come back to mine for a drink?”

-

On the morning of Emily’s arrival, Louis woke up in Harry’s spare room and headed straight off to the airport. Harry sat at home in his underwear, feeling grumpy and ridiculous. He wished he could go to the airport, too, which was stupid because it was a family thing and what did it have to do with Harry?

He felt left out, and it was only just occurring to him that Emily moving to London might mean he would see Louis less. He tried not to let it get to him, tried not to be selfish. Louis was over the moon happy and that was all that mattered.

Liam came round to discuss the benefit concert they were planning for the charity. Harry pulled on a t-shirt and sat curled up on the sofa while Liam sat on the floor with his laptop on the coffee table.

“So far we’ve got Ed, Zayn Malik, Bebe Rexha, and Niall Horan all signed on.” Liam looked at Harry, who was smirking. “Stop it.”

“Sorry.”

“I wish you’d stop all this. It was, like, thirty years ago.”

“But you always get  _ so awkward _ when you’re around Zayn. It’s my favourite thing ever!”

“Fuck off.” Liam sighed. “We’re still waiting to hear back from a few people. I’m still working on getting Steve Aoki to come out of retirement for it.”

“Oh, he’ll definitely do it.” Harry grinned at Liam. “We should probably look into getting some young people to perform, too.”

“We’ve asked a few. Some can’t do it due to scheduling conflicts, but I think anyone who’s available would bend over backwards to do it for you.”

Harry rolled his eyes and pretended to flip his hair. Liam ignored him, furrowing his brow as he stared at his laptop.

“I dunno how you can sit on the floor like that, man. It’d take me all day to get up.”

“Well, I’m extremely fit for my age,” Liam replied. “My doctor said I have the body of a forty-year-old.”

“Good for you.”

“Now, we need to discuss Wembley Stadium.”

Harry whined loudly,  _ petulantly, _ and picked up a cushion to smother his face with. “No.”

“You’ve already said yes, you dick.”

“But I’m too old.”

“If Steve can cake people at the age of seventy-six, you can perform three concerts.”

Harry pouted. “Michael Jackson died while preparing for his concerts, you know.”

“Get over yourself,” Liam deadpanned. “First of all, your doctor is not going to kill you. Secondly, he was preparing for fifty dates, you’re looking at three. Don’t insult his memory by comparing yourself to him.”

“Ouch.”

“He died from a combination of drugs in his system. Like, shit loads of medication. The only drugs running through your system are your blood pressure medication and Viagra.”

“Shut up!” Harry growled. 

Liam smiled condescendingly. “You don’t have to be so defensive.”

“My dick is tired, okay? He worked very, very hard when we were younger. Anyway, Ed has it worse than me.”

“That’s because he was a raging alcoholic.” Liam rolled his eyes. “Look, we’ve gone off track here a bit. Now, do you think you’d rather do three days in a row, or maybe have one day on, one day off?”

“Yeah, you had better give me a rest day after each show.”

They discussed schedules and opening acts and Harry even rambled on for half an hour about merchandise. Before Harry knew it, it was time for lunch and he sent Liam into the kitchen to make the sandwiches as he checked his phone.

He had received a selfie from Louis and Emily. He sighed, looking at Louis’ expression. He was absolutely ecstatic, which made Harry smile. When Liam came back in, he cocked an eyebrow as he handed Harry his sandwich.

“What are you smiling at, then?”

“Louis picked his daughter up from the airport this morning. She’s just moved here from Australia.”

“Wow.” Liam kept his eyes on Harry as he made his way to an armchair. “You gonna meet her? What will Louis introduce you as, hm?”

“I’ve already met her. So have you. Remember at the beginning of the year when we had a woman visiting from Australia who wanted to see how things worked at the charity?”

“Oh yeah! That was her?”

“Yup. She told me her dad was picking her up, and would I mind meeting him because he’s a big fan. Little did she know.”

Liam snorted in amusement.

-

Harry jerked awake when voices trailed into the conservatory.

“This place is amazing!” a hushed Australian voice said. 

Harry rubbed his eyes. He had fallen asleep on the sofa. How long had he been asleep? He sat up and looked through to the living room.

“Hi!” Louis called out and waved. “Sorry to just drop by, but Gwen said it was alright to come through.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, love.” Harry smiled sleepily at Emily. “Hiya! Good flight?”

“No. Have you ever flown halfway across the world? Ugh.”

“Of course he has, darling, a million times,” Louis reminded her. “Not in economy class, though.”

Harry laughed as Emily nudged Louis and shushed him. “It’s alright. He’s got a very valid point. I would’ve loved to upgrade your flight for you, but your dad doesn’t let me do things like that.”

Emily smirked. “He’s a stubborn bastard.”

“Emily!” Louis scolded. “What have I told you about your language?”

“Give me a break, Dad. I’m twenty-eight.”

“That’s you told.” Harry grinned. “Come on, you two. Don’t just stand there. Come in, take a seat.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Emily said politely.

“Still jet lagged?”

“It’s been two days, I absolutely am.”

“It’s because she just sleeps whenever she’s tired.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t listen to  _ any  _ of my advice.”

The three of them had dinner together and, not long later, Emily fell asleep in an armchair in the conservatory. Harry and Louis moved into the living room to sit together on the sofa and chat.

“Harry, I promise we’re still gonna have our Tuesday night dinners. Just us.”

“I don’t mind Emily crashing every now and then. When we’re at yours, she’s gonna be there, anyway.”

“Yeah, true.” Louis sighed, his fingers finding their way into Harry’s hair, as usual. “She wants to help out with the shop a bit.”

“Does she have a plan? If she can’t use her teaching qualifications over here?”

“Not sure. I don’t think she cares. She won’t not work for long, she has to stay busy. I think she might be asking you soon if there’s any volunteering she can do at the charity.”

Harry leaned into Louis’ touch and sighed. “We’ll find something for her, no problem.”

“Don’t go doing either of us any favours. I want her to get opportunities on her own merit.”

“Oh, change the record, Lou,” Harry said lightly.

“Um-” Emily cleared her throat from the doorway, a sleepy, soft smirk on her face. “Harry, can I use your bathroom?”

Louis leapt to his feet. “I’ll show you. Then we should get off home.”

Harry wondered if Emily would give Louis a hard time. The easy, comfortable way they were interacting probably looked pretty incriminating. Young people couldn’t understand, though, how it felt to just need the physical contact. Emily’s questioning of the nature of their relationship was probably something that was here to stay.

“Thanks for having us,” Louis said, walking into the room and sitting down to pull his trainers on. “Sorry we kind of barged in. I texted you, but…”

“It’s no problem. I was asleep. Wasn’t exactly busy. You’re always welcome here, you know. That extends to Emily, too.”

“Harry, thank you.” Louis reached his hand out and slipped it onto Harry’s waist. He ran his thumb over Harry’s thin t-shirt for a second before moving in for a hug. Louis laid his head on Harry’s chest and Harry felt a bit self conscious about the way his heart was beating. “I’ll miss you when you go to LA.”

“Aw, hey. I’ll only be gone a few days. I won’t even miss a Tuesday.”

“Really?”

“Like I’d miss a Tuesday if I could help it.”

Emily, of course, walked in on them embracing. Luckily for Harry, he didn’t have to face the consequences as they left not long later. Harry saw them off, promising to visit the shop at the weekend.

-

Harry had his good days and his bad days. Most days were good. A few were bad. Occasionally, one would hit him like a ton of bricks and render him completely useless.

Liam had cancelled a few meetings for him and taken a couple by himself. He forced Harry to eat lunch before leaving him to lay in his dark bedroom, curled up in bed. He cried on and off, getting out of bed to wee and getting straight back in.

It didn’t happen to him very often, not anymore. There was no predicting when it would hit and there was no logical reason for it.

He just felt fucking sad.

Liam - he assumed it was Liam - knocked gingerly at the door.

“Harry?” Liam called hesitantly. “Can I come in?”

“Mm.”

Harry’s back was to the door and he didn’t turn over to face Liam. He knew Liam understood.

“Harry, you have a visitor.” Liam cleared his throat. “Louis’ downstairs.”

Harry flipped over and frowned in confusion. “Louis?”

“Yes. He said he was passing and thought he’d drop in.”

“He’s on his own?” Harry asked, and Liam nodded. Harry hesitated before replying. “Alright. He can come up, if he wants.”

Liam disappeared and Harry turned back over. He had been very, very close to having Liam send Louis away. He didn’t want Louis to see him like this.

Then again, Louis had seen him in some of his darkest days. What was one more?

There was a soft knock at the door and Louis walked in. Harry heard him sigh, before feeling the bed dip, and suddenly Louis was pressed against his back.

“Hi,” Louis whispered against the shell of his ear. “This okay?”

“Yes,” Harry croaked out. He grabbed Louis’ arm and cradled it to his chest as fresh tears began to fall. “Thank you.”

“It’s like deja vu, this,” Louis murmured into his ear.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry.” Louis pressed a gentle kiss behind Harry’s ear. “Um… do you want me to take my top off? Does the skin on skin thing still-”

“If you’re comfortable. Only if you’re comfortable.”

Louis moved back for a few seconds to remove his t-shirt and, as he laid back down behind Harry, Harry realised he himself had a t-shirt on.

“Oh…” Harry struggled to lift his heavy body from the bed.

“Let me.” Louis slipped his hands beneath Harry’s t-shirt. Harry felt himself flinch at the contact as Louis rucked it up as far as it would go. With a bit of wriggling, they managed to get it off and Louis tossed it aside before pressing his body to Harry’s back.

“Oh.” Harry sighed in relief. “Louis, thank you.”

Louis’ steady breathing in Harry’s ear helped to steady his own. He clutched at Louis’ arm like a lifeline, and it was likely going numb but Louis was patient, staying silent and calm until Harry turned over to face him. 

“You remembered.”

“Yeah.” Louis smiled softly. “It’s a good little tip, that. Did you know it’s a good way to bond with a baby? It’s something I’d remembered when all my sisters and my brother were born, and it’s something I did a lot with Emily.”

Harry entwined their fingers and gazed down at their hands. For no palpable reason, tears started to fall again.

Louis hushed him quietly, wiping away his tears with his free hand. Harry blinked rapidly, whispering desperate apologies over and over until Louis pressed his lips against Harry’s, effectively silencing him.

Everything about Harry stilled. He sighed through his nose as Louis brought his hand up to cradle Harry’s cheek, lips still pressed together softly. Harry couldn’t think, not about implications, or the magnitude of this moment, or anything. He was down, and Louis remembered how to look after him, and that concept sat in his mind, still and comforting.

“Do you need anything, my love?” Louis whispered after pulling away ever so slightly. “Some water? A nap?”

“Actually…”

“Anything. Except coke.”

Harry giggled softly. “No, no. Could you just… there’s an air con remote on the table on your side. Can you turn it on?”

“Of course.”

Louis did as he was asked and, as the room started to cool down, Harry felt himself drifting off. He could feel Louis’ presence, his warmth, his hands touching his skin. Harry knew Louis would never cure one of his depressive episodes, but this one was a damn sight easier to get through now that he had tailor-made comfort from one of the only people in the world he cared about.

When he woke, he was laying on his back and Louis was asleep, head burrowed into Harry’s armpit. Harry managed a small smile, before realising Louis’ hand was resting low on his stomach and then he realised something else.

He was half-hard.

His palms immediately started to sweat. This hadn’t happened to him in years and years. Firstly, he needed to move Louis’ hand away. It was dangerously close to his crotch. Secondly, he needed to get rid of the thing.

When Louis had woken up hard in Harry’s spare room, Harry had told him it would be a shame to waste it. Harry didn’t see things that way this time.

He placed his hand on top of Louis’, carefully slipping out of bed and making sure nothing touched anything. He sighed with relief when he made it to his feet, trotting quickly into his ensuite before Louis woke up.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Bodies were stupid. Harry couldn’t get hard at even the best of times without chemical help, but here he was, in the middle of a depressive episode, and his dick had decided to wake. Harry rolled his eyes as he ruffled his hair, trying to ignore it. He faffed in the bathroom until it had gone down, and when he returned to his bedroom Louis was awake and rubbing his eyes. 

“Are you alright?” he asked Harry.

Harry sighed. “Yeah.”

His heart still felt heavy and his limbs slow, but he didn’t feel like crying anymore and he felt a tickle of optimism that he’d be fairly okay once tomorrow rolled around. 

“Good,” Louis said with a smile.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Please don’t be sorry.” Louis sighed as Harry slipped back into bed next to him. “You know I care about you, and it’s an honour to look after you whenever I can. You do a lot for me, it’s wonderful to be able to repay you, at least in a small way.”

“A small way?” Harry laughed incredulously. “You take something very hard and make it as easy as it can be for me. This means the world to me, Louis.”

Louis smiled softly and stroked Harry’s hot cheek with the back of his finger. “And it means the world to me that you trust me enough to let me in.”

Harry smiled, closing his eyes and leaning into Louis’ touch. 

“Thank you for being my friend,” Harry whispered.

Louis leaned in and pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek. “You’re so, so welcome. Can I make you a cup of tea?”

“That’d be lovely,” Harry murmured as he opened his eyes.

Louis smiled and slipped out of bed. He pulled his t-shirt on and left the room.

Harry bunched up his duvet and cuddled it to his chest. He wasn’t sure if Louis was intending to make the tea and bring it up or he thought Harry would come downstairs. Harry would have liked, in theory, to get out of bed and go downstairs to join Louis, but leaving the sanctuary of his bedroom seemed a bit daunting, so he clutched at his duvet tighter and closed his eyes.

Five minutes later, Louis returned with two cups of tea and handed one to Harry.

“Liam was asking about you.”

“Oh,” Harry said. “Still here, then?”

“Yeah. He’s just worried about you.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “He knows the drill. He’s seen enough of my episodes.”

“I think Liam will probably worry about you until the day he dies.” Louis shrugged with a smile. “Do you need me to stay the night?”

“Ah, no. I’ll be alright.” Harry sipped at his tea. “Thanks for this.”

“You’re welcome. If it’s okay, I’ll get going after my tea. Will you promise me you’ll eat some dinner? Liam said something about Gwen cooking your favourite.”

Harry gave a weak smile. “Wonderful. Yeah, I’ll eat something. Promise.”

Harry finished his tea and pulled himself out of bed. He pulled on a cosy jumper and saw Louis out.

“Thanks again.”

Louis pulled him into a hug. “Call me anytime you need me, okay? I mean it.”

“You’re very lovely.”

Louis left and Harry headed off to find Liam, which felt a bit like facing the music. He found him in the kitchen, where Gwen was cooking and singing, and suddenly everything started to feel alright. Normal.

“Liam!” Gwen scolded. “You’re cutting the onions too thickly!”

Harry let out a light laugh, and knew he would be okay.

-

Over the next few days, Harry started to feel more like himself and, by the time it was Tuesday, it was easy enough to get out of bed in the morning and get on with life.

Of course, Tuesdays were Harry’s favourite day of the week. He would be heading around to Louis’ tonight for dinner with him and Emily. His morning had been full of meetings, but after a working lunch he was free, so he spent the afternoon in the bookshop.

Louis wasn’t there. He was off at a used book fair - apparently he was addicted - and Emily was holding the fort.

“That George kid is on holiday, so I thought I’d at least earn my keep a bit.” Emily rolled her eyes and sipped at a coffee. “Dad keeps trying to pay me.”

“I reckon he’d really spoil you if he could afford to.”

“He spoils me enough with love and attention.”

Harry smirked. “That’s really sweet. He’s over the moon to have you here, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. He tried so hard to talk me out of coming, though.”

“He just cares about you. And I think it would crush him if you came all the way over here and then left him again.”

Emily sighed and picked at her nails. “I know.”

“Don’t hurt your poor old dad.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same thing to you.”

Harry just smiled softly. “Please. All I do is try to look after him and he won’t let me.”

“Hm.”

“Emily,” Harry said, his smile cocking into a grin. “We’re not lying to you, you know. We really aren’t a couple. Nothing’s going on.”

“I won’t be mad, or anything. I think it would be great for him to meet someone.”

“Well he’s met a friend.”

Emily narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to speak when the door opened.

“Hey!” Louis said. “You looking for me?”

Harry just shrugged. “I hear you’ve been off buying books.”

Louis turned and glared at Emily, who grinned and shrugged. “Snitch.”

The three of them chatted for the next hour until it was time to close. Harry and Emily paired up to pick on Louis a bit and by the time they got to Louis’ flat, Harry was giggling so much his sides hurt.

“Harry?” Emily said, giggling slightly, too. “Tell me an old story about my dad.”

Harry giggles bubbled away and he and Louis exchanged glances. Harry let out a short laugh.

“Um… God. Okay. Let’s see.” Harry glanced at Louis again. “There was this one time… um…”

“Why don’t you tell her how we met the first time.”

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay…” Harry took a deep breath. “It’s a bit hazy. I can’t remember when it was, but I was young. Nineteen I think? Your dear father snuck backstage.”

“Dad!” Emily said with a slight laugh. Louis just shrugged.

“I remember,” Harry continued. “I asked Liam to get me some Skittles. Louis overheard and brought some Skittles to my dressing room.”

“You said, ‘have I got to pick out the fuckin’ orange ones myself?’”

“No way, did I?” Harry giggled. “Anyway, I thought he was fit, so I invited him to the afterparty.”

“And then?”

Louis laughed. “Em, you don’t need any more details.”

Emily narrowed her eyes. “Why do you two always act so weird?”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, inspecting his nails.  

“Emily, did me and your dad never teach you to mind your own business once in awhile?”

“Dad, come on. The truth can’t be any worse than what I’m thinking.”

Harry grimaced. “I promise you, it can.”

“Alright, look. Emily, you’re an adult.” Louis shrugged. “Here it is: I was a groupie. Alright?”

Harry winced and the words hung in the air awkwardly. Emily snorted in an undignified manner and Harry hid his face in his hands. 

“You wanted the truth,” Louis said in a sing-song voice.

“Louis, you didn’t need to tell her the sordid details about your sex life.”

“Ew, no!” Emily cried out. “Please don’t go into detail.”

Louis sighed. “We never dated. It was just sex. All cards are on the table, now. Okay?”

Some teeny tiny part of Harry hurt from that, which was stupid. It  _ was _ just sex, but Louis had always meant more to Harry than that. It wasn’t right to let Emily think they dated, but it didn’t seem right to let her think they didn’t mean anything to each other.

“Well,” Emily said. “I think it’s lovely that you’re friends now.”

Harry looked up at Louis, who was grinning at him softly. Louis’ tongue darted out to lick his lips as he looked away, and Harry’s eyes lingered on them.

Harry hadn’t dwelled on the fact that Louis had kissed him last week. He knew what it was, and it hadn’t felt even slightly romantic or erotic. It just felt like home and comfort. And that was true about Louis in general, for Harry.

Harry suddenly realised that Emily and Louis had moved on from the conversation. He quickly nodded as if he had been listening.

“Fajitas, Dad? I remain sceptical.”

Louis laughed loudly. “The bloody cheek. I make great fajitas.”

“I love you. But you make great nothing.”

“Excuse me?” Louis scoffed. “I made you. You’re great.”

“Dad, we’re not blood related.”

“I co-parented you, therefore I raised you and made you into the person you are today.”

Emily rolled her eyes, looking at Harry and she shook her head. 

“Okay, well, why don’t you help me with the fajitas? The world would never forgive me if I killed Harry Styles.”

-

**Steve Aoki to come out of retirement for Harry Styles charity concert**

**\---**

“You need to finalise the setlist for the benefit.”

Harry sighed, uncrossing his ankles and crossing them again the other way round. He frowned in concentration as he overtook Liam in Mario Kart.

“What was wrong with the list we already came up with?”

“You complained, more than once, that Sign Of The Times was on it because you don’t think you can reach the notes anymore.”

“Oh.” Harry groaned. “I just don’t think I can get away with not singing it, you know?”

“That’s probably true.”

“Leave it on. We’ll work something out.”

“Okay, well, don’t get mad at me when you go into rehearsals and remember you have to sing it.”

“Shut your mouth,” Harry said fondly. “You’ll never catch me up, by the way. I’m about to lap you.”

Liam growled. “Oh, man! I’m shit at Mario Kart!”

They fell silent as Harry slaughtered Liam at Mario Kart, and threw the controller down on the sofa triumphantly. 

“Oh, I forgot to mention.” Liam said, taking a swig of his beer and pointedly ignoring Harry’s gloating. “The charity’s photographer has handed her notice in. She has to leave in, like, a week. We won’t be able to replace her in time for the concert.”

“Ugh, great.”

“So I guess we find someone freelance, unless you have any friends who need a gig?”

“Yeah, I’ll ask around.”

“Cool.”

Harry let a smirk slowly spread across his face. “So, are you looking forward to it?”

“To what?” Liam asked. “The concert?”

“Yeah. Just, like… hanging around backstage, and stuff…”

Liam rolled his eyes and sighed. “When will you  _ ever _ let it go?!”

“Did you speak to Zayn yourself when you got him to sign up for the concert?”

“You know I didn’t.”

Harry giggled to himself. “You gonna suck his dick, Li?”

“Harry!” Liam scolded. “Of course not. I’m married.”

“You gonna go home and reminisce tonight? Go to bed and think about your time with Zayn?”

“Harry, I will hit you if you carry on.”

Harry covered his mouth and giggled again.

-

Spring was starting to rear its head, but the encroaching warmth wasn’t enough for Harry. When he stepped off the plane from LA, the cooler temperature slapped him round the face and he immediately felt grumpy. Luckily, he’d taken a pill and slept for the entire flight. It was approaching midday and Harry had to swing by the label’s office before heading home. 

“Do you have songs written you want for the album?” Liam asked as they left the office.

“A few, I guess. Yeah.”

“Good. Okay.”

Harry sighed, looking out the window as Liam drove him home. “Liam?”

“Hm?”

“I think I want this to be my last album.”

“You’re contracted to two more.”

“So? Can’t the last one be another greatest hits? Chuck on some live tracks and a new track that I can record with this album?”

Liam shrugged and sighed. “Alright, well. If that’s what you want, I’ll chat to them.”

“Thanks.” Harry glanced at Liam briefly. “I’m gonna go and pop by Louis’ shop.”

“Of course you are.”

“Oi! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Harry. Just that I’m not surprised. You’ve been away, after all. Why so defensive?”

“Shut up,” Harry grumbled.

They arrived at Harry’s and Liam hung around to do some work in Harry’s office. Harry jumped into the shower to freshen up a bit and then he headed out to the bookshop.

Emily was alone again. Harry loved Emily - of course he did, she was basically an extension of Louis - but she always gave him a knowing smirk when he walked into the shop and it made this poor old man uncomfortable.

“Hello.” Emily grinned. “I had a journalist in here earlier.”

Harry froze and widened his eyes. “What did they say?”

“She wanted to know why you’re spending so much time here. And guess what?”

Harry frowned. “God, what?”

“She recognised me from that time I got papped with you in January.”

“No way! God, I didn’t even think about that.” Harry smiled sheepishly as he pushed his glasses up to the top of his head. “Sorry you’re getting caught up in the craziness of my life.”

“Oh, it’s okay. But how do I explain to anyone I might go on a date with that I am in fact  _ not _ dating a rock star twice my age?”

“Let them think it happened!” Harry laughed, turning his head as the door opened behind him. “That’d really get their attention.”

“Harry, that’s gross,” Emily said.

“What’s gross?” Louis said, shutting the door and approaching Harry.

“Your friend, Harry, just told me to pretend I’ve slept with him to get the attention of men.”

“Em!” Harry laughed in surprise. “That’s not what I said. Don’t get me in trouble.”

Louis frowned at Harry disapprovingly. “Harry, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“That’s not… okay, I’m sorry. But that isn’t what I said.”

Emily chuckled to herself as Louis shook his head. Harry pouted, pulling his phone out and devoting his attention to it.

“Hey,” he said. “Lou, that pic you took of me hit two million likes.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot up. “Which one?”

Harry turned his phone towards Louis to show him the photo he’d taken of Harry sitting on the stack of books. He turned to show Emily.

“Oh, nice photo, Dad.”

“You should see some of the photos Emily took when she was travelling, Harry. Oh, she’s a wonderful photographer.”

“I point and I press a button.”

“No!” Louis protested. “It’s an instinct.”

“You’re a photographer?” Harry raised his eyebrows. “I’d love to see some of your shots sometime.”

“Well, she’s got an online portfolio,” Louis said. “Show Harry on my laptop, Em.”

Emily glared at her father before turning to the laptop and tapping away. Harry made his way around the counter to look over her shoulder.

“So, um…” Emily clicked into a photo album. “As I said, it’s just point and shoot stuff.”

“Oh… these are great.” Harry pulled his glasses back onto his face. “You must have a pretty good camera.”

She shrugged. “Dad got it for me.”

“Because you love taking photos,” Louis pointed out.

“You really love it?” Harry asked Emily. “Your dad’s right. You have a great instinct.”

Emily shrugged noncommittally. “Yeah, I like it.”

“Right.” Harry glanced at Louis and then back at Emily. “How would you fancy a gig?”

Emily narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m doing a charity concert and we need a photographer. I was-”

“Um, Harry?” Louis said, roughly grabbing Harry’s arm and starting to pull him away. “A word?”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Emily who looked unsurprised and mildly embarrassed. Louis pulled him all the way to the back, through to the tiny kitchenette that Louis used to use to make the tea. Harry leaned against the small counter, folded his arms and waited.

“Don’t do that,” Louis said.

“Do what?”

“You know I don’t want you doing us any favours. Just get a professional photographer.”

Harry sighed. He brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes under his glasses before he pushed them back to atop his head.

“Louis, unclench. I’m asking her to do a job she has the skill to do. I was just gonna give the gig to one of my friends anyway, and Emily is interested in the charity as it is. I’d love her to work with us, not only because she wants to and I’d like to do that for her, but also because we’re always grateful for volunteers with enthusiasm. It’s not like I’m trying to give her any opportunities she doesn’t deserve, Louis. Come on.”

Louis shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Okay. You’re right.”

“I wish you’d stop assuming the worst of me,” Harry said with a grin. “I do listen to you, you know. I know you don’t want unearned handouts from me, and I try very hard to help you in any way that you feel comfortable.”

“I’m sorry.” Louis stepped forward and placed a hand on Harry’s hip. “You’ve been great, I know.”

“Hm.” Harry grinned as Louis took another step and wrapped his arms softly around Harry. “I  _ am  _ wonderful. Don’t forget it.”

Louis tutted as he pulled away, pressing his palm to Harry’s chest and shoving him gently. They made their way back to the front of the shop where Emily was tapping away at the laptop, pointedly ignoring them both.

“Anyway,” Harry continued as if nothing had happened. “The gig’s yours if you want it. It’s nothing too complicated. Just a bit of… you know… pointing and shooting.”

-

Liam wasn’t happy. He exasperatedly explained to Harry that he had expected him to ask someone who actually had professional experience, but Harry had long since lost the ability to care what Liam thought of his decisions.

Liam changed his mind once he had met Emily again and seen her work. Harry had been filming some bits and pieces for the build up to the concert and the concert itself, and when he was taking a break to wolf down a sandwich, Liam and Emily walked in chatting at a mile a minute.

“I mean, I get what you’re saying, but I just feel like Oreos make your mouth look dirty unless you wash them away.”

Liam scoffed. “Why would you be eating Oreos without a glass of milk?”

“That’s besides the point. A custard cream is far superior.”

“Emily?” Harry asked with a smirk. “Do you argue with everybody?”

“We’re not arguing,” she replied. “Just discussing.”

“Come sit.” Harry patted the chair next to him. Emily sat down and Liam grabbed a packaged sandwich from the table to Harry’s left. “I have some mildly good news, and some mildly bad news.”

“Oh?”

“Well, the good news is, that journalist doesn’t seem to have written anything about you.”

“Alright, good.”

“But.” Harry sighed. “There’s a Blind Gossip item about it.”

Emily frowned, and Harry pulled it up on his phone to show her.

_ His fans have been wondering why this A-List rocker has constantly been seen at this innocuous location recently. It’s not exactly his style. It’s probably the pretty girl working there who is a third of his age.  _

_ “They’ve been dating for a few months, even getting papped together. Things are starting to get serious though, and he hangs around her like a bad smell!” a source tells us. _

“Ugh!” Emily said with a slight laugh. “Gross. No offence.”

“A third of my age!” Harry said, outraged. “That puts me at over eighty!”

“You’re the famous one, Harry. They know how old you are. Calm down.”

“You’re only saying that because if they know I’m sixty, that puts you at twenty.”

Emily started laughing and shrugged. “No, no. Obviously they’re just being sensationalist.”

“I mean, yeah. Obviously.”

Emily smirked. “Little do they know the truth. It’s not me you’re sleeping with.”

Liam glanced over and Harry widened his eyes. 

“Emily, how many times?” Harry sighed. “We’re just friends.”

“Aw, don’t get upset. I’m only teasing.”

Harry looked at Liam pointedly at Emily’s admission before turning back to look at her. His eyes fell on the window sill behind her, where a spider was crawling along towards her hair.

“Uh, Em?”

“Hm?”

“Are you scared of spiders?”

Emily turned to follow Harry’s gaze over her shoulder. She glanced disinterestedly at the daddy longlegs spider and turned back to Harry, smirking.

“Are you serious?” She let out a chuckle which reminded Harry of Louis. “You do remember I grew up in Australia?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Alright, you two.” Liam finally walked over. “Enough flirting.”

“Liam,” Harry said in warning. “Watch it, or redundancy might come knocking.”

“Do you know how much you’d have to pay me if you made me redundant? I’ve worked for you for forty years.”

“Alright, well maybe I’ll just sack you.”

“Cool, okay. You do that. If you’ve finished your lunch, can we get on with some work?”

Emily hung around until Harry was finished, and then he drove her home. It was the perfect excuse to spend more time with her - Harry felt a bit like he was living fatherhood vicariously through Louis - but also an excuse to invite himself inside to see Louis.

“Ah, back in one piece.”

Harry grinned stupidly. “You don’t trust me with your daughter?”

“Don’t rock stars throw things out of windows?”

“Are you… saying you think I’d throw Emily out of a window?”

“Dad?” Emily asked, rolling her eyes. “What’s for dinner?”

Louis invited Harry to stay for dinner and the three of them squashed together on the sofa, Emily insisting on being in the middle. Harry loved her, but he hadn’t been alone with Louis in ages, despite Louis’ insistence that they would still have some Tuesday nights with just the two of them.

Of course, today was Friday, so he probably didn’t have cause to complain.

After dinner, Harry reluctantly slipped on his boots to go home and Louis walked him out to his car.

“Hey. Thanks for being so good to Emily. With the job and just… in general. It means a lot to me, especially since she doesn’t really know anyone over here.”

“It’s not a problem. She’s… well, she’s wonderful, but she keeps you on your toes, doesn’t she?”

Louis smiled softly. “Ah, that she does.”

“I’ve said it before, but she really reminds me of you sometimes.”

“That’s lovely to hear. When she was young I was terrified that she’d bond with Ethan and not me. Like she’d somehow instinctively know I wasn’t related. Of course, that didn’t happen. She was my Daddy’s girl until she hit thirteen, and then she became wildly independent.”

“I’m not surprised.”

Louis stared out onto the street thoughtfully. A small, soft smile crept onto his face. “I’m so, so happy she’s here, Haz.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile. He took a step closer to Louis and slid an arm around his waist, squeezing his fingers into Louis’ side through his jumper.

“I know you are.” Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ clothed shoulder. 

“I’m happy you’re here, too,” Louis whispered. “I don’t know why you both came back to me at the same time, but I’m very, very thankful.”

Harry pulled him close and they stayed like that for a few minutes before Harry eventually sighed and let go of him.

“I really need to go. See you Tuesday?”

“Yes!” Louis nodded. “It’s your turn to cook. Just the two of us?”

“Yeah. Just the two of us.”

-

Tuesday came and, as hard as Harry tried, nothing would lift his mood. He was rather annoyed it had hit him on a Tuesday, of all days. He continued to try and bring himself up, listening to some music as he cooked. He spent the whole day making the dinner, and that kept him from crawling back into bed to hide away from the world, at least.

When Louis arrived, Harry forced a smile and poured him a glass of wine.

“God, the whole house smells great. What are we having?”

“We’re having a really posh beef stew. I made some bread, too.”

“You  _ made _ the bread? And stew?”

“I had some down time today, so…”

Louis looked impressed as he slipped his trainers off by the back door and shucked his coat off, draping it over a stool at the kitchen island. Harry could feel him watching, so he stopped for a second to turn to Louis and greet him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said and held his arms out. 

“You okay?” Louis asked as they embraced.

Harry heaved an almighty sigh. He wouldn’t lie to Louis. He couldn’t. He nuzzled into Louis’ neck and inhaled his natural smell, still unchanged after forty years.

“To be honest… I’m having a bit of a down day.”

“Ah.” Louis sighed, too. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

Harry pulled away, his eyes a little watery. He smiled. “Thanks, Lou. You being here is enough for now.”

Louis did what he could to help Harry finish preparing the dinner. He was already feeling a tiny bit better. He knew that if Louis was here, he had to hold it together somewhat, and knowing that made it a little easier. 

“I’ve got a confession,” Louis said as they sat down to eat. “I’m not normally a big fan of stew. However… this smells incredible.”

Harry gave him a small smile, feeling pleased. “Well, it’s probably not the kind of stew you’ve had. To be honest, posh stew isn’t real stew, is it?”

Louis laughed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s normally the crappy bits of the meat, just loads of leftover stuff. I never liked it as a kid, but now I make it myself and I can tweak it…”

Harry trailed off as Louis took his first bite. Louis stared at the table for the first few seconds before slowly looking up and making eye contact with Harry.

“Alright. It’s fucking wicked.”

Harry nodded smugly. They didn’t talk much over dinner, except for Louis praising Harry’s bread and looking like he was about to cry from it. After they had eaten, they headed on through to Harry’s game room, which would have been dusty as anything if Gwen didn’t dutifully clean it on a weekly basis.

“I never come in here,” Harry said as he picked up a pool cue. “I don’t have enough friends, really. Liam never wants to play and he’s basically the only one who comes round, apart from you.”

“Should’ve told me sooner. I could’ve been kicking your arse at pool. Or table tennis. Or… what the heck’s that thing over there?”

Harry smirked and walked over to the big, square, black table. He flipped a switch and it powered on, revealing that the top of the table was actually a screen.

“It’s a giant electronic Monopoly board. You can switch between versions, too. There’s the kids one, the American one, even the Australian one.”

“That is… insane.” Louis’ eyes were wide as he shook his head. “Ethan loved Monopoly, you know. He was so good at it, and I couldn’t bear losing to him. We’ve got to show Emily next time she’s round.”

“Alright.” Harry switched the table off and returned to the pool table.

“I can’t believe you don’t have any arcade games in here.”

Harry thumped the end of his cue on the floor. “I’m sixty.”

“So? I’m sixty-two and I would definitely have put some arcade games in here.”

“Just pick up your cue. You reckon you’re gonna kick my arse, then?”

“Definitely.”

“You  _ are _ sixty-two, though. Are you sure you’ll be able to bend over the table enough?”

Louis paused, tilting his head and smirking at Harry. “I may not be as bendy as I used to be, Mr. Styles, but I’m pretty fit for my age.”

“Yes, I can see that.” Harry bit his lip to keep from smiling. “You wanna break?”

Louis kept eye contact, smirk still on his lips as he rounded the table. Harry stepped away from the table as Louis leaned down over it, probably further than was necessary, and lined his cue up with the cue ball.

“Stop looking at my bum, naughty boy.”

Harry’s cheeks flushed as his eyes darted away from Louis’ bum. “I wasn’t. Obviously.”

Louis let out a squeak of a laugh as he hit the ball. Harry watched as Louis pocketed two striped balls and a solid. As they took turns, Harry tried to concentrate, but his brain insisted on flashing back to last time he was having an off day and Louis had kissed him. 

They were in their sixties. He didn’t need to overthink things. He knew it was just a gesture of friendship and was indicative of the bond they had, but he couldn’t help but feel like he wanted Louis to kiss him again.

He did, of course, draw the line at exaggerating his mood to replicate last time’s situation. He couldn’t be dishonest to Louis like that.

“How are you beating me?” Louis whined.

“Because I’m better than you?” Harry pulled a face as if it was obvious. “Come  _ on. _ It’s your turn.”

Louis grumbled under his breath and trotted around the table a couple of times. He finally leaned into the table, standing on the ball of his left foot and bending over as best he could. Harry’s eyes habitually moved back down to his bum. For a sixty-two year old, it was a fine sight. As peachy as a man half his age. The rear of a mature adonis. An arse that could-

“Distracted?” Louis asked innocently.

Harry sighed, trying to stifle a smirk as he lined up for his next shot.

Ten minutes later, Louis was pouting. 

“I didn’t know you were such a sore loser, Lou.”

“I’m not!” Louis weakly protested. “Are we having dessert?”

“I think as a forfeit you should feed me my dessert.”

Louis paused for a second. “What’s for dessert?”

“Cheesecake.”

They sat together on the sofa, Harry smirking unashamedly as Louis fed him forkfuls of cheesecake. It was delicious, if Harry said so himself.

“If this had been forty years ago…” Louis paused, biting his lip as he pushed another forkful into Harry’s mouth. “This would definitely have quickly descended into sex.”

Harry smiled. “I’m not sure how you could utilise cheesecake in sex, to be honest.”

“Oh, we would’ve found a way.”

Harry laughed because it was true. After dessert, they curled up together on the sofa. Louis held Harry close, and Harry’s heart swelled from the gesture. Louis flicked through the channels but Harry soon drifted off.

He woke up half an hour later with Louis’ stroking through his hair softly.

“You’re tired.”

“Depression is tiring,” Harry mumbled. “Sorry. You get off, I’m gonna head to bed.”

Louis made no effort to move, instead laying his cheek on the top of Harry’s head.

“I’ll stay, if you want me to.”

Harry touched Louis on the first place he could reach from where he was sitting, and that happened to be his thigh. “You don’t have to. But that’s very sweet.”

“Mm,” Louis said softly. “I’m just using you as an excuse to have another go on that orthopedic mattress.”

Harry sat up and turned to grin at him. “I think that’s reasonable.”

Louis took Harry’s hand and led him upstairs to his room. Harry unceremoniously stripped down to his underwear and climbed into bed.

“Right, I’ll head down the hall. Unless you wanted me to stay with you.”

Harry blinked up at him and slowly smiled. “Yes, please.”

“Alright.” Louis nodded towards the bathroom. “Well, go and brush your teeth. I’m gonna go down the hall and brush mine, and I’ll be back.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

When Louis came back, Harry was back in bed and, when Louis slipped into bed behind him, Harry flipped over and blew minty-fresh breath in his face.

“Good lad.” Louis nodded. “Skin on skin?”

“I don’t deserve you,” Harry said, sighing as he turned to offer Louis his back. Louis shuffled in close, pressing himself against Harry’s back.

“You absolutely do,” Louis murmured.

-

Harry woke early. He slid out of bed carefully, tucking Louis in and heading to the bathroom. They had gone to bed fairly early. Who knows if Louis had even been tired?

Bless him. Harry watched Louis sleep as he pulled on some joggers and a t-shirt. He tore himself away and headed downstairs to have a tiny bit of breakfast to tide him over until Louis woke up.

The whole house was quiet. Gwen didn’t live onsite, but she lived ten minutes away and arrived promptly at 8am every morning. That was well over an hour away. The sun had not long risen and the kitchen was bathed in a strange, orange light. Harry yawned quietly as he popped a slice of bread into the toaster and made himself a cup of coffee.

Harry was a little tired, but being down here, alone in the quiet of the early morning… it felt like he was in on a secret. It was a rare occasion that Harry Styles relished the feeling of being alone, but this morning it didn’t feel so bad. Of course, he wasn’t completely alone. Louis was asleep in his bed upstairs.

He powered on his laptop, pushing his glasses onto his face before he logged into his emails. He sipped at his coffee, starting slightly when the toaster popped up. He worked his way through his inbox, as boring as it was, and the next thing he knew he was snorting awake and Louis was stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

“What ya doing?” Louis smirked. “You know you have like, six bedrooms in this place. And you fall asleep in a kitchen chair?”

“Gimme a break, I’m old.” Harry stretched his arms above his head, yawning. “Sit down, love. Let me make you some breakfast.”

“No, no. You stay there. Let me get you another cup of coffee.”

Harry groaned pathetically. “You’re the guest.”

“I’m such a regular guest I might as well live here.” Louis walked to the counter and put two slices of bread in the toaster. “I’d love to make you a big breakfast, but… you know my reputation as a cook.”

Harry smiled. “Are you going to work today?”

“Suppose so, why?”

“Oh.” Harry shrugged. “Was just thinking maybe we could have some brunch later.”

“I texted Em last night, asked her to open up. George is in later. I can take the whole day off.”

“Well, I have some things to do in the afternoon, but let’s take it easy until then.”

“Deal.”

Louis busied himself with buttering his toast and choosing an apricot jam from Harry’s ridiculous collection of jams. He poured them both a coffee and sat at the table opposite Harry. Harry closed his laptop and folded his arms.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. 

Louis gave him a smile before he started to chomp on his toast. Harry watched him. His eyes still seemed heavy with sleep. The crinkles that used to appear by his eyes when he laughed were permanent nowadays, indicative of a life lived in glee. Harry’s wrinkles probably spoke of his anguish and struggles. Louis looked up and gave him another smile.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

Harry took a deep breath and gave a small shrug. “Yeah, I’m okay. Not bad.”

“That’s great.”

Louis had always been beautiful. Whether he was twenty-one and riding Harry’s cock or he was sixty-two and shelving books in his shop, Harry was full of admiration for Louis’ beauty, outside and in. Louis deserved the whole world. Harry had always known it.

He heard Gwen come in and quietly slip upstairs.

“Louis?” Harry cleared his throat, eyes darting down to the table when Louis looked at him. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“You know how I told you that when you left, I’d been considering asking you out?”

“Yeah.”

Harry took a deep breath. “Okay, well. Here’s the thing. Before you left… when we were still seeing each other… I was really starting to care about you. I felt like I was being really obvious, but maybe I wasn’t. Anyway… it was really uncommon for me to get attached that way. I didn’t know what I was doing or what was happening. All I knew was that you were my favourite and soon enough, I just didn’t really want to sleep with anyone else. 

“When you left, I just… it was such a blow for me. Now, I really don’t wanna make you feel bad, it was a long time ago. I’m alright. It’s just… I was finally starting to get better, you know, with the addiction and stuff - that was down to you - and I was pulling myself together and trying to find the courage to change what we had to something more special. You know?”

Harry paused, and Louis was frowning painfully down into his cup of coffee. Harry’s heart gave a jolt. He had no intention of hurting Louis but he didn’t feel right keeping the full extent of his feelings from him.

“I guess I just became far too dependent on you. When Liam told me you weren’t coming back, I…” Harry sighed. “I didn’t take it too well.”

“Harry.” Louis sighed. “Please.”

“I’m sorry. I want you to know the full truth, what I’ve been through.”

Louis looked crestfallen, still staring down at the cup clutched between his hands. He nodded slowly.

“I didn’t know how to cope with losing you, Louis. I tried so, so hard to stay on the wagon, but I had to escape and there was only one way I knew how. And the worst part was, I knew how much I was letting you down by getting high, but I didn’t care. You’d left me for a real relationship, which was something you were entirely right to do, but I felt left behind and like you’d abandoned me. I didn’t blame you, as such, but I was so hurt and I just didn’t know how to cope.”

Louis looked like he was ready to burst into tears. Instead, he stood to his feet and rounded the table, hugging Harry tightly from behind. Harry was the one getting choked up, now.

“I cared about nothing and nobody, Louis. I didn’t care if I lived or died. You’d saved my life once, but without you there I didn’t know how I’d ever get out of my rut. You heard about all my troubles. You said yourself you worried all the time that you’d read about my death. I was fucking everyone, taking everything, and if it wasn’t for Liam fighting tooth and nail to keep me alive, then… well, I wouldn’t be.”

“Liam’s been a really good friend to you.”

“He’s the absolute best. I don’t deserve him, really.”

Tears started to silently fall down Harry’s cheeks. He hated reliving that era, but Louis had to know. It was important to Harry that Louis knew the full extent of his feelings.

“I think I might have been in love with you.”

Harry felt Louis stiffen around his shoulders before pulling away. Harry was in distress for half a second before Louis was in front of him and dropping to his knees. Louis took Harry’s hands in his own and gazed up at him with shimmering eyes.

“Darling, you know I had feelings for you, too. I was struggling with it, which is probably why I fell for Craig so easily.” Louis dropped his forehead to Harry’s hands. “God, what a mess.”

“It’s okay,” Harry said softly, pulling a hand free to stroke over Louis’ hair. “It’s all in the past. I just wanted you to know how I felt about you. Back then.”

“I was…” Louis was muffled, but Harry could tell his voice was wavering. His hand felt damp. “I was the reason you went off the rails.”

“No you weren’t.  _ I  _ was the reason. Don’t blame yourself.”

Louis looked up at him and, wrinkles and grey hair be damned, he looked as young as anything. In fact, it could’ve been twenty-one year old Louis on his knees gazing up at Harry. Except it wasn’t, and Harry was worried about Louis’ knees.

“Come on,” Harry said quietly. “Get up. Let’s go and hug it out. A cuddle on the sofa?”

Harry’s tears dried, but Louis continued to cry for a while. Harry dutifully wiped away his tears as they held each other. 

“You know, I can’t even remember the last time I cried before we reunited.”

“You blaming me?” Harry asked lightly.

“Yeah!” Louis laughed wetly. 

Harry grinned, holding Louis tight. Louis sighed, leaning up to press a sweet kiss on Harry’s lips before smiling shyly and slipping out of his grasp.

Louis disappeared upstairs and Harry sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He glanced at the clock and was startled to see it was coming up to 11am.

He lifted himself off the sofa and headed into the kitchen to get started on brunch. Gwen was in there, cleaning up. 

“Hi, Gwen.”

“Is everything okay?” she asked quietly. “Would you like me to come back later?”

“You’re alright, love. It’s a bit delicate around here, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? The rest of the cleaning will wait.”

“I skipped the pool yesterday. Can I clean down there before I go?”

Harry laughed fondly. “If you insist. But you know I hardly use it.”

“Your doctor told you to swim more, Harry.”

“Oi, okay. I know. Last time I tell you anything.”

“Not true, Mr. Styles.” Gwen smirked. “I’ll clean the pool, then I’ll go home. Thank you.”

Gwen disappeared off and Harry sat in silence. He started to wonder if Louis would be coming back downstairs any time soon, but he knew he needed to give him space. Five minutes of sitting at the kitchen table staring into space later, Harry heard Louis padding down the stairs.

“Hey. Sorry.” Louis smiled sheepishly and Harry stood up. “I just had to… I dunno.”

“Come here.” Harry stood to embrace him and sighed. “The past is… it’s a mess. But we’re friends now, yeah? Great friends. I’m alive, I’m clean. That’s what matters. I wanted you to know how I’d felt, but that doesn’t change anything for us in the present.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Louis mumbled into Harry’s chest. “But I get your point. Were you about to start brunch?”

Louis pulled away and Harry nodded. 

-

Harry felt rather blue for the rest of the day. Looking back on the hardest time of his life was so incredibly difficult, but the way Louis had reacted had made it even harder. Harry went about his business, Louis firmly on his mind. How different would things have turned out if Louis had never left?

He knew there was no way to know, and that it didn’t matter. But he couldn’t help but wonder, ‘what if?’.

The benefit concert was coming near, so Harry threw himself into preparing for that. He started to rehearse for his own set - he got in a vocal coach, just in case - and he got stuck in to the event preparation with everybody at the charity. He, Liam, and Emily went into the venue for a site visit and Emily was completely taken aback at the size of Twickenham stadium.

“Oh… my God.”

“Come on.” Liam nudged her. “I’ll show you where you’ll taking photos from.”

Emily followed Liam off towards the stage and Harry strolled slowly off after them. He looked around and sighed. It had been far too long since he had been on stage, let alone a stadium. He looked all the way to the top and could see what looked like a maintenance guy fixing a seat. He looked a hundred miles away.

Harry turned his attention back to Emily and Liam. Emily had her camera with her and she took a few shots of the stage, turning and taking one of Liam, turning to face Harry and taking what had to be a pretty crappy shot.

“I’m not a zoo animal!” Harry shouted over to her. “I need my privacy!”

Emily laughed, the sound echoing around the wide open space of the floor. Harry picked up his pace and, as he got closer, Emily folded her arms.

“You gave up your privacy when you chose to spend your every waking moment with my dad.”

“Ooh!” Liam laughed.

“We see each other once a week!” Harry protested. “Maybe sometimes twice. Three, tops.”

“I’m just gonna go find someone who can take us on stage,” Liam said. “Be right back.”

They watched Liam walk away and once he was far enough away, Emily turned to Harry.

“I love Liam. He’s such a cool guy.”

“As opposed to me?” Harry said, mock-offended. “I made him who he is.”

“How long have you two worked together?”

“Over forty years, now.” Harry leaned against a barrier and looked up at the clear, blue sky. “He was my assistant, back when I knew your dad. When I went off the rails things got a bit complicated with my management situation, so Liam stepped in and when I came out the other end, Liam was my manager. He’s never really told me what happened or how he did it. I signed whatever he told me to sign. I trust him with my life.”

“That’s lovely.”

“I know I can trust him with my life because he’s saved it more than once.” Harry turned to look at Emily, squinting in the sunlight. “Your dad saved me, too, once upon a time.”

Emily swallowed and discreetly took a deep breath. “Do you love him?”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I do. Of course I do.”

“Have you told him?”

“It’s not like  _ that,  _ Em. I’m not gonna be your new daddy, or anything.”

“Oh, my God!” Emily laughed, embarrassed. “Don’t ever say that again.”

Harry chuckled. “Well, look. We’re not love’s young dream or anything. I know you think we’re fucking-”

“Ugh, Stop!”

“But we’re not. Louis means a lot to me and that’s as far as it goes. That’s as far as it needs to go. I know as a young person it’s probably hard to understand, but when you’re old, your priorities shift.”

“Are you happy?” Emily asked.

Harry regarded her. As basic as the question was, he wouldn’t usually answer it. But… it was Emily. He would never tell her that he loved her as well as her dad. He adored the wonderful woman she was, raised and shaped by Louis himself. 

“I’m pleased with the way I came out the other side of my troubles. I’m pleased with where my career is sitting right now. And I’m very happy to have found your dad again.”

He was fully aware he hadn’t answered the question, and the way Emily frowned at him, he knew she had noticed.

“Guys!” Liam called from the side of the stage. “This way!”

They had a nose around on the stage and Liam spoke to Emily about coming in to photograph rehearsals. Harry looked out to the stadium and got an unfamiliar tickle of nerves. The stadium really was huge. He made a silent prayer that he wouldn’t fuck up.

-

“Harry fuckin’ Styles!”

“Niall, mate.” Harry embraced Niall, sighing. “How’re you doing? God, it’s been so long.”

“You’re looking well. I’m great!” Niall picked up his guitar and clutched it to his chest like a teddy bear. “My daughter’s just given birth, so I’ve been a bit distracted.”

“Congratulations, Grandad! What’s this now? Your… third?”

Niall cackled. “My seventh! God it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“How many kids do you have, again?”

“Six. They’ll all be here on Sunday, except for Hannah.”

“What a huge family.” Harry smiled lovingly. “Christmas must be mad at your house.”

“There’s a lot of names to remember.”

Harry laughed loudly. “Yeah, I can imagine. Oh, look! There’s Ed.”

People started pouring in and everything became a bit manic. The younger stars chatted to Harry as the older ones went a bit wild, talking over each other and laughing and reminiscing. Steve Aoki hit Ed in the shins with his walking stick and Bebe Rexha laughed so hard that her assistant had to hurry over with her inhaler.

“They’re troublemakers,” Harry told young Laura Slade. “You’ll be like that when you get to our age, I promise.”

Laura nodded, staring at him with wide eyes. “Harry, did you know my mum played drums in a band, and they opened for you in 2018?”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “No! I had no idea. So, you’re from a musical family?”

“Yeah! You know, my younger brother told me you would try and chat me up.”

“Your brother would do well to remember that he shouldn’t believe everything he reads.”

“That’s what I said. I mean, after what the media have printed about me, you’d think he’d know that already.”

Harry frowned. “Oh, yeah. Didn’t they say that you were hooked on meth? You’re, what? Twenty-one?”

“Twenty-three in a month. I barely even know what meth  _ is.” _

Harry cackled loudly. “Laura, love, please believe me when I say you don’t need to know. Stay the fuck away from drugs, and if I ever find out you’re taking them, I’ll personally find you and stage an intervention.”

“Yes, Mr. Styles,” Laura said with a smile.

He was only half-joking. If Harry could help prevent even one young person in the industry turning to drugs, he would bend over backwards to do it. Harry hadn’t even had it that bad, if he was honest. There were far worse drugs to mess around with. Looking at Laura, Harry couldn’t bear the thought of it.

He heard the noise of a camera shutter clicking and he looked up to see Emily taking photos. He grinned and put his arm around Laura’s shoulders.

“Now, this young woman taking pictures of us is a real fine example to look up to. She was, until recently, a teacher in Australia. She fancied a change, so she moved to the other side of the world, and now she’s here taking photos of us.”

“That’s very brave,” Laura said.

“My dad is here, so,” Emily explained.

Once everybody stopped chatting, rehearsals got underway and Harry was extremely pleased with how great everybody was sounding. The show was coming together nicely, even if Zayn Malik did turn up  _ just _ in time for his slot and not a second earlier.

Harry very pointedly hung around - forcing Liam to wait with him - for Zayn coming off stage. Zayn nearly fell over his own feet when he came face to face with Liam.

“Oh. Hi.”

Liam glanced at Harry, looking rather murderous. “Hi, Zayn. Long time.”

“You’re looking good,” Zayn said to Liam politely.

“I look old. You don’t.” Liam sighed. “Excuse me.”

Liam disappeared and Harry realised suddenly that he was left alone with Zayn.

“So,” Harry said, clearing his throat. “Still sleeping with my old groupies?”

“I couldn’t help but notice you’re not married,” Zayn remarked. “So, you probably need them more than I do.”

“You know who  _ is _ married? Liam.”

“I know. We’re in touch.”

“You- you’re what?”

Zayn smirked. “He invited me to the wedding, actually, but I was in the middle of my sold out stadium tour. God, it’s good to see him again. I haven’t seen him in, like… three years. Yeah. Long time.”

Harry nodded before turning on his heel and making off after Liam. He found him near the exit, just finishing up a phone call.

“What the fuck.”

Liam frowned. “You okay?”

“You didn’t tell me you were in contact with Zayn.”

“Oh.” Liam sighed. “Look, it’s not a big deal. When Alex and I broke up for a bit before the wedding, Zayn and I hooked up… No big deal, Alex knows all about it… and, I dunno. We just kinda kept in contact.”

“I cannot  _ believe _ you didn’t tell me. And you invited him to the wedding? Isn’t that a bit gross?”

“As I said, Alex knew. Zayn came round and the two of them made peace. It sounds weird, but they’re friends, now.”

“It’s your life.” Harry sighed. “I can’t believe you kept things from me, though.”

“Mm, well. The relentless teasing swayed me.”

Harry pouted.

-

**Zayn Malik and Harry Styles reunite backstage at gig**

**\---**

“...And he didn’t even tell me!”

“Aw. I’m sorry.” Louis smiled sympathetically. “Maybe he just wanted to have something for himself.”

“Alright, alright,” Harry said impatiently. “You with your bloody logic.”

“Sorry.” Louis grinned. “Hey, did Em tell you she’s found a place of her own?”

“No!”

“She’s just working in Asda for now until she works out what she wants to do. She’s moving into a flat down the road next week.”

“Are you sad?”

Louis shrugged with a slight grin on his face. “Ah. It is what it is. She’s nearby and that’s the important thing.”

“Yeah.”

Harry shifted on the sofa. He was tired and achy from a day on his feet, but good company and a glass of wine were doing wonders for him. He also felt stroppy with Liam, but he knew that would only last a couple of days. At his age, there was no point holding grudges for very long at all.

“How did Emily do today, then?”

“Oh. She’s wonderful. She’s great at photographing people, actually. Capturing the natural moments and all that. She’ll do a fine job on the night.”

Louis sighed with a smile, shaking his head. “I cannot wait. It’s been such a long time since I’ve watched you perform.”

“Oh, yeah? You’re looking forward to that?”

“Absolutely.”

Louis headed home shortly after, wanting to enjoy his last few days with Emily. Harry went to bed, but he couldn’t sleep. He headed down to the kitchen and opened his medication drawer.

He could take a sleeping pill, although he tried to avoid them. He had such a variety of pills at his disposal and he was glad his nearest and dearest trusted him enough to allow it. He rummaged through, looking for some herbal tablets when his fingers brushed a box he had almost forgot was in here.

He opened the box and pulled out the blister pack of little blue pills. There were two missing. The first one he had taken just to see what would happen. The second one he had taken because he read that it helps aid jet lag recovery. He hadn’t been impressed with the results, but he had got a good wank out of it.

He sighed, licked his lips and pushed a pill out of its blister pack, letting it drop to the counter. He poured himself half a mug of water and took the pill before he could think about it.

He put the mug back on the draining board and sighed. The kitchen was dead quiet, the odd gentle snore coming from the cat sleeping in her cubbyhole the only sound. Harry wiggled his toes in his slippers, looking at the clock. 11.45.

He grabbed his laptop from the office and headed up to his room. He got into bed and pulled a long-forgotten bottle of lube from underneath his old socks in his bottom drawer.

He felt a bit silly. Wasn’t he too old for all this? Harry had had enough orgasms to last two lifetimes. He almost felt like he didn’t deserve them anymore. 

Which was stupid. And as for being too old, he was fully aware that all his friends still enjoyed healthy and fulfilling sex lives. 

Despite liking to pretend to himself that sex and orgasms were in the past, he opened his laptop and headed straight for his porn folder. When he was younger, he would wank over his own homemade videos that he had filmed with various guys. For years, he had wished that he’d made a video with Louis.

Harry frowned as he searched for a video to watch. He opened a couple, closing out of them if the guys weren’t to his taste, or there were three of them. He really should clean out this folder. He settled on an amateur clip of two men in the throes of passion and he wrapped his hand around his dick. 

He swallowed as his eyes fixated on the way one man slid in and out of the other. He had to admit, he fucking missed sex, as much as he liked to pretend he didn’t. Meeting someone at the age of sixty was far too much work, and shagging groupies was definitely no longer his thing. 

He started to stiffen in his hand. Stroking over himself, he bit his bottom lip and watched the video. He upped the volume with his free hand and revelled in the always-familiar sounds of sex. The grunting and moaning went straight to his cock, rock solid now, and he sped up his movements. 

Harry welcomed arousal like the old friend it was. Shooting through his veins like a drug, the wonderful feeling left him breathless and he didn’t know why he didn’t let himself wank more often.  _ There’s no shame in taking Viagra, _ he told himself.

He pinched his own nipple with the fingers of his left hand, crying out softly and feeling a surge inside of him. The video on his laptop ended and he fumbled with it, closing the lid and dropping it to the floor. He coated his palms in lube, rubbing them together quickly before resuming his task, groaning loudly as the wetness made his touch feel even better. He closed his eyes and the first image that popped into his head was the memory of Louis leaning over the pool table.

Shit.

_ No shame, _ he repeated to himself. His hips shifted as he licked over his lips and explored his mind for more. Louis laying in Harry’s spare bed, dick hard as a rock. The thought that Louis had wanked in that bed. A very vague memory of Louis sucking him off that was probably half imagination. Louis in his underwear, in Harry’s bed, pressed close to him, like he was only recently.

It was the best feeling in the world, this. Harry cried out loudly, just because he could. He bucked his hips, roughly tugging at his cock, and then he was coming, imaging Louis with his eyes fluttered closed and his forehead shimmering with sweat. Harry spurted his load onto his lower stomach and an image flashed behind his eyelids of a much younger Louis, face covered in Harry’s come.

Harry stilled, and stayed that way until he caught his breath. When he opened his eyes, his room felt eerily silent. He swallowed, releasing his grip and tip toeing into his ensuite to clean up. Afterwards, he climbed into bed and fell straight to sleep.

-

Harry woke in the morning and felt a bit weird. In the minutes that followed his waking, he slowly remembered last night’s activity. How was he supposed to look Louis in the eye? Or  _ Emily? _

He reminded himself, with a slight blush, that he had done far,  _ far _ dirtier things to Louis in the past. 

A few hours later, he was back at Twickenham. The concert was tomorrow and the stadium was vacant today so they could continue to rehearse and organise. Harry had demanded special merchandise be made for the event, including t-shirts with all the artists names on the back. He took a look at the range, before stealing a t-shirt for himself. 

“Everything’s looking great,” he told Liam excitedly. “This is gonna be so good.”

“I reckon so.” Liam nodded. “Is Louis coming?”

“Of course he is.”

“And the afterparty?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, and I want cars ready to take everybody home from the party. I don’t want it charged to the event. Use my personal Addison Lee account for that. Have a few waiting outside, I don’t want anyone to have to wait for them to arrive.”

“Alright, I’ll get someone on that.”

Harry left Liam backstage and headed out into the stadium. He sat in a seat on the floor to watch the rehearsals. Ed had been a bit rusty yesterday, but he absolutely killed it today, and Steve, despite being a ripe old seventy-six, brought so much energy that Harry was tired just watching him. Bebe performed a song with him before doing her own set, followed by Zayn who still looked great up on stage. Laura Slade was incredible. Harry had never seen her live but he was so glad they had managed to get her to do this concert. She was in the midst of becoming one of the biggest stars of the moment, and Harry smiled fondly, remembering what that felt like. He tried not to worry for her too much.

The day itself finally came and adrenaline took over Harry. He was at the stadium early and was active right up until the show started. He hadn’t seen Louis, had barely seen Emily. Louis had, however, texted him a photo of his view.

Liam brought Harry a cup of tea and a sandwich, and Harry was so grateful he could have kissed him.

“I’m gettin’ nervous,” he told Liam through a mouthful of ham sandwich. “I don’t know why I’m eating.”

“You’re eating because you’ve not eaten for nearly twelve hours.”

“I’ve been busy,” Harry protested before remembering something. “Oh, I need to upload that photo we took earlier.”

“Are you sure you should put it up without telling Louis first?”

“Why? You think he’d be annoyed?”

“I thought he used to get annoyed when you tried to promote his business.”

“Yeah, but we agreed that it was okay as long as it was subtle. You don’t think it’s subtle?”

“It’s fine.”

“Good.”

Harry uploaded the photo to his Instagram, captioning it,  _ The day is finally here! Getting ready to go on stage, _ along with a link to donate. It was a photo he had got Liam to take of him earlier, sitting backstage on a folding chair, sunglasses on his face and a t-shirt he had printed specially, emblazoned with a cute book logo with the words  _ Parkway Books _ across his chest.

“I mean…” Harry looked down at the t-shirt which he was still wearing. “I like it. I reckon he’ll think it’s cute.”

He ran off after his sandwich to change into his suit. Once he stepped onto the stage, he was firmly in the zone. He gave a quick speech about the charity and why they were having the benefit concert, before he thanked all the acts that had performed thus far. When he was about to launch into his first song, he looked out at the crowd. He spotted Louis, and knew he would be alright.

-

“Do you see?” Liam giggled elatedly. “You  _ nailed _ Sign of the Times!”

“I was a split second away from cracking.”

“Nah!” Liam breathed wine-laden breath onto Harry’s face. “Bit more work and you’ll be per-fect.”

“Go and find Alex.”

“Alex is fine.”

“Go!”

Liam rolled his eyes and set off in pursuit of his spouse. Harry turned to look for Louis, who he spotted in the middle of the dance floor jumping up and down to the music. That wasn’t what he had expected to see.

Harry pushed his way over and slipped in front of Louis.

“Hey!” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders. “God, you were great. Always so sexy on stage.”

“Um… where’s Emily?”

Louis pouted. “Embarrassed by her dad. Probably gone home.”

“I have not gone home,” Emily said from behind Harry. She handed Louis a bottle. “I just thought you should drink some water, Father.”

Louis shrugged, downing half the bottle in one. “Fair.”

Harry grinned. “You having fun, then?”

“Yes!”

“I  _ am  _ going home now,” Emily stated. “I’m so sorry, Harry. I have to work in the morning.”

“It’s alright, love.” Harry embraced her. “Thank you so much for your wonderful work.”

“Thank you for this opportunity, Harry. I’m so grateful.”

“You’re very welcome. See you soon.”

Harry tried, out of politeness, not to listen to Emily saying goodbye to Louis. He failed, and overheard her telling him she would see him at home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he replied. “Don’t wait up, not sure when I’ll be back.”

Harry smirked, waving Emily off. 

“Looking to pull?” Harry asked Louis. “Hey, have you reacquainted with Ed?”

“Of course I’m not looking to bloody pull! And no. Although I tell you it was fucking weird watching Ed perform. Last time I saw him, he was watching me- um, never mind.”

“Alright. Well, you wanna dance? And you can stay at mine, if you want. If you don’t wanna risk your daughter seeing you in a drunken state.”

“I don’t know  _ what _ you mean,” Louis protested. 

“Hm. If you come to mine, you can throw up in the privacy of your own ensuite.”

“How drunk do you think I am?” Louis laughed. “I’m not planning on drinking much more.”

Harry felt like an old man, but he danced anyway, he and Louis moving at about half the speed of the others on the dance floor. Harry tired pretty quickly and they left the dance floor to get a drink.

“God,” Louis said as they found a booth to slide into. “This is like deja vu.”

“What do you mean?”

“Back in the day we used to end up at after parties together all the time. Right about now… you’d head to the toilets, snort a line, then come back and drag me home.”

Harry laughed. “Well, the parallels! Because I’m gonna drink this Coke, then I’m gonna drag you home because I am knackered.”

“Well,” Louis said with a smile. “I much prefer it this way.”

-

Harry couldn’t stop giggling as they got out of the Addison Lee and approached his front door. He fumbled with his keys, turning to Louis for his help.

“You daft thing,” Louis said fondly. “I don’t know which key it is.”

“The pink one.”

Louis tried it and cried out in victory as the door swung open. They got inside, closed the door, and Harry immediately burst into song.

“Wherever I go!” he sang loudly. “You bring me home!”

Louis joined in. “Sweet creature! When I run out…”

Harry giggled as Louis trailed off. He took his keys from Louis, throwing them, aiming and missing the hall table.

“Shit. Ah, well. You want a drink?”

“No, no. We’ve… both had enough. Coffee?”

“Fine.”

They headed into the kitchen and Harry busied himself with making the coffee. He felt Louis press against him from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“If I didn’t tell you earlier? I can’t remember.” He let out a soft laugh. “I’m really proud of you. That show was absolutely incredible.”

“Lou, that’s lovely.” Harry placed his hands on Louis’ arms wrapped around his middle. “Your support is just wonderful. I don’t know what I ever did without it.”

Louis hummed, and Harry turned around in Louis’ hold to face him.

“You know…” Harry placed his arms on Louis’ shoulders. “I really don’t know how I coped without you in my life all these years.”

“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t left? What would’ve happened with us?”

“All the time. But I think if we’d dated, it would’ve turned bad.”

“But what if we’d never dated?”

Harry sighed and shrugged. “If it wasn’t Craig, it would’ve been somebody else.”

“Suppose so.” Louis ran the back of his finger over Harry’s cheek. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips, barely pulling away before sighing. “Sorry.”

Harry pressed forward to kiss him back, hands moving to the back of Louis’ head. Harry felt like his body was going into panic mode. His mind was full of noise and his blood pressure was probably spiking to dangerous levels, but he was kissing his Louis.  _ Properly _ kissing him, this time. He revelled in the feeling of being caged against the counter by Louis’ body.

Louis finally pulled away, grabbing onto Harry’s hips and biting his lip, looking like he was trying to stifle a grin.

“Um…” Harry shook his head to clear it. “Coffee.”

They didn’t talk about it. They sat opposite each other at the kitchen table and spoke quietly of the concert and Emily’s photos and the bookshop. Harry had sobered up pretty quickly and the coffee wasn’t to blame.

They headed upstairs hand in hand and, when they got to Louis’ room, Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s mouth and went inside with a whispered goodnight.

-

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Harry’s head was pounding. It didn’t take much for him to suffer a hangover these days, so he gulped down some water and a couple of painkillers, offering Louis the same.

“No, thanks. I’m alright, actually. Just tired.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Not really. Just kept waking up.”

Harry had known he would be tired today, so he had told Liam to schedule him the day off. Louis was due into work later, but for now, George had opened up the shop whilst Louis sat at Harry’s kitchen table with his forehead in his hands.

“I’m too old for this.”

Harry laughed. “Same. I’m gonna be useless today. It’ll take all my courage to even leave the house.”

“Come keep me company at the shop? Even if you sit behind the desk wrapped in a duvet?”

“Haha! That’s a great idea, actually.” Harry frowned for a second as a memory came back to him. “Oh shit! I have something to show you.”

Harry pulled his phone out and logged onto Instagram. The photo already had seven hundred thousand likes. Harry smiled to himself as he pushed his phone across the table, turning it to show Louis.

“I uploaded this yesterday. I meant to show you, but…”

Louis blinked at the screen, pulling his glasses from his collar and slipping them on.

“Um…” He frowned. “Harry, is that a custom made t-shirt?”

“Yeah,” Harry said in a whisper. “I just thought it would be a fun way to advertise. Anyway, I love a good bit of merchandise. It felt good to wear it. Clothing emblazoned with the name of your shop.”

Louis blinked up at him. “Thank you.”

“Liam thought you’d be mad that I didn’t tell you.”

“Oh, no. I think it’s lovely.”

Harry sighed in relief. He knew his instinct had been right. He knew Louis.

“So, here’s the plan, I reckon. Come to the shop and hang out with me a bit. We order pizza for dinner. We contemplate our lives and why we feel the need to torture ourselves with hangovers.”

“Sounds good.”

After breakfast, they both returned to their rooms to take showers. When Harry returned downstairs, Gwen was there tidying up the breakfast things.

“Hello, you.” He kissed a smiling Gwen on the cheek. “How’s things?”

“He’s here again? It’s not even Tuesday.”

“Gwendolyn, are you judging me?” Harry grinned. 

“No, no. No. He is a nice man.”

“I agree.”

Harry heard the sound of Louis walking across the landing and then thudding down the stairs. He joined Harry in the kitchen, saying hello to Gwen before taking Harry’s hand and leading him through to the living room.

“Um…” Louis pushed his fingers into the hair at the back of Harry’s neck and leaned in. He hesitated before kissing him, slow and firm before pulling away and smiling, almost shyly. “Is this… like, can this be a thing?”

“What? Us kissing?” Harry grinned softly and took a deep breath to try and ease the tension from his thumping heart. “It absolutely can.”

“Mm, good.” Louis kissed him again before sighing. “We should go.”

Harry popped upstairs and found a ridiculously large hoodie to pull on. He looked down and realised his first name was embroidered in white on the left side. He was wearing his own merchandise. Oh well.

Harry pulled on a beanie and the two of them walked to the shop in relative silence. Harry found himself wishing he had brought his sunglasses. The spring sun was shining stubbornly through breaks in the clouds and Harry had to squint against it. Louis’ full, dark grey hair ruffled in the slight breeze. Louis frowned, smoothing it down with his fingers. 

“I miss my soft, brown hair,” Louis whined. “I only went grey after Ethan died, you know.”

Harry turned to look at him, unimpressed. “Your hair is still a million times better than mine. How do you think I feel? I used to have such lush, dark, long hair. Now I have this awful wispy stuff.  _ And _ my hair is verging on silver.”

“I love your hair,” Louis replied. “It’s lovely and soft.”

Harry absently scratched the back of his head, under his hat. “Thanks.”

They arrived at the shop and Harry popped in the back for a wee whilst George and Louis did their handover. When he came back out into the shop, Louis had made them both a coffee and was frowning at his laptop.

“George gone already?”

“Yeah, said his needed to visit his nan.”

Harry sighed. “If only I had kids and grandkids to be a burden to.”

Louis laughed and shook his head. “Well, at least you have Gemma’s family. You can be a burden to them.”

“I could tell them I put them in the will and imply they need to keep me sweet in order to get their hands on my fortune.”

Louis laughed again and tutted. Harry sighed, looking out to the street. The sun had disappeared, and everything looked dull as dark clouds rolled in overhead. It looked decidedly like rain.

Harry curled up on the floor below Louis’ chair and sipped his coffee. His hoodie was so big that he was able to pull it over his knees, and so that was how he sat as Louis served the occasional customer, clueless to the celebrity curled up on the floor. Harry made his way through some emails on his phone, eventually getting bored and throwing his phone under the desk.

“I think I’m gonna go and get some chocolate.”

“Oh, are you hungry? We can order that pizza, if you like.”

“Just fancy a bit of chocolate. But we can order when I get back.”

“Alright.”

“Want anything?” Harry asked. “Any chocolate? Sweets? Whiskey?”

Louis cackled. “Imagine if we got pissed whilst manning the shop. No, Harry. I’m a professional.”

Harry hummed with a grin, standing to his feet with a hand from Louis and heading out of the shop.

-

They polished off a large pizza from Domino’s between them and Harry clutched at his stomach.

“Ugh, I’m so full. I feel sick.”

“Me too. Any of that chocolate left?”

Harry giggled and shoved Louis good-naturedly. “I’m going to wash my hands.”

While Harry was in the back, he spotted a thick blanket on top of a few boxes of books, and he grabbed it and took it back out to the shop with him.

“Can I use this?”

“Sure. Cold?”

“Just wanna get more cosy. I hope you appreciate me leaving my house today. I wouldn’t do it for anybody else.”

Louis smiled as Harry shook the blanket out and wrapped it around his shoulders. He sat on the stool next to Louis.

“I do appreciate it.” Louis turned his body towards Harry. “Um, can we talk? About last night?”

“Oh.” Harry cleared his throat. “Okay.”

“Look, we’re too old to play games and all that. So I think we should talk about it, get it out in the open. Because misunderstandings… well, they suck.”

Harry grinned softly. “They do, true.”

“Um, so… Look, I really like the relationship we have. We’re- I feel like we’re close friends. Yeah?”

“Mm.” Harry nodded.

“Yeah. I’m not exactly looking for a romance, you know? And I get the feeling you’re the same.” Louis paused and Harry nodded. “But you mean a lot to me, and I love that we can get affectionate and cuddle and stuff. Sometimes, I just want a bit more. Do you know what I mean?”

Harry spread his palms on the counter, staring down at them. He chewed on his bottom lip.

“Louis, when I’m having a bad day and I can’t get out of bed, there’s a reason that you’re the one I need with me.” Harry glanced up at Louis but quickly looked back at his own hands. “You know exactly what I need in the moment and I’m so grateful for that. You kissed me in those situations because you knew it would make me feel better. What I’m saying is, I know what you mean.”

“Right. I love being affectionate with you and I know that if I’m feeling down, I can turn to you for comfort. Our relationship might seem weird to other people, but we don’t need to fit in with anybody’s rules. We’re too long in the tooth for all that.”

“Agreed. Just… we need some rules, like no kissing in front of Emily.” Harry betrayed a small grin. “We’d never hear the end of it if she knew.”

“Absolutely. Young people can’t understand the needs of us old people.”

Harry giggled and tilted his head. He sighed. “I’m so glad we’re grown up enough to talk about this and save ourselves months and months of overthinking.”

Louis nodded importantly. “I’ve learned  _ something _ in my sixty-two years.”

Harry swallowed, smiling. “I have to tell you something.”

“Oh?”

“Before Emily rats me out. We were just chatting, and she asked me if I loved you. I said yes immediately before realising she’d take it the wrong way.”

Louis face looked impossibly soft as he smiled. “Yeah? How’d you get out of that one?”

“I made a joke, saying I didn’t mean it in  _ that _ way and that I wasn’t about to become her new daddy. It distracted her nicely.”

“Ooh, you’re smart.” Louis grinned. “I love you, too. You’re incredibly special to me.”

“Well,” Harry said with a sigh. “I’m glad we got all that out in the open.”

Louis nodded in agreement. He glanced outside of the shop before pressing a quick kiss to Harry’s lips.

“Yeah. Glad we got it all sorted.”

-

On Tuesday, Louis came round to Harry’s for dinner and afterwards they headed into the conservatory to finish their wine. They cuddled close on the sofa and Harry took great delight in kissing Louis, cradling his cheeks as Louis’ fingers entwined in Harry’s hair. Harry tentatively pressed the tip of his tongue against Louis’ lips and they parted, allowing Harry to lazily lick inside. 

Harry felt the detached ghost of arousal dancing around him. Forty years earlier, practically a lifetime ago, he would be touching Louis by now. Sliding his hand up his leg, or down his torso. Maybe he would have even straddled him by now.

But, now, the urge just wasn’t there. If Harry was to have sex with anyone, he would probably want it to be Louis. As it stood, though, neither of them were particularly bothered. No, Harry was happy enough to reacquaint himself with Louis’ mouth, with Louis’ kiss. It felt like he had returned to a familiar place and it felt really good.

Louis pulled away, moving back in to press a few more kisses to Harry’s mouth before he grabbed his wine and took a sip.

“So, did the concert raise a lot of money for your charity?”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis. “Yeah. Hang on. Let me get the latest email up.”

Harry fiddled with his phone, looking for the email. Louis shifted in his seat to lean back against the arm of the sofa, and Harry felt disappointed at the loss of the warmth.

“Okay. So far, we’ve raised nearly eight million pounds.”

“Fucking hell,” Louis whispered in awe. “That’s incredible.”

“The whole thing was recorded, too, so we’re thinking of releasing an album.”

“That’s a great idea.”

As much as Harry wanted Louis to stay over - he  _ always _ wanted Louis to stay over - Louis headed home fairly early and Harry treated himself to an early night. 

-

Harry had a busy week. He and Gemma took their mother on a day trip to the seaside, and both Harry and his mum fell asleep on the way home as Gemma drove. The sea air had wiped him out and he came to just as they turned off the motorway. Fifteen minutes later Gemma dropped him off at home and, as he opened his front door, a sort of sadness fell over him.

The house felt big, cold. Empty. He sighed, heading into the kitchen to make a hot chocolate and ponder the situation. He was so, so lonely in this big old house and he was coming to the end of his tether with it.

He wondered if he should just move his mother in. He could move his office upstairs and give her a ground floor bedroom. He resolved to give it some serious thought as he finished making his drink and headed upstairs. He turned to head towards his room, but he hesitated, turning the other way instead and heading to Louis’ room.

It wasn’t the spare room, anymore. It was Louis’ room. Harry walked in and saw some bits and pieces of clothing folded and draped on the chair. Harry couldn’t have been more certain that Gwen had picked them up off the floor. The bed was made and the pillows fluffed, but Harry could just make out a slight indentation on the left pillow. 

He placed his hot chocolate on the bedside table and headed into the ensuite, tiptoeing carefully as if he might get caught. There was a slightly used bottle of shampoo on the shower tray that Harry recognised as one of the ones he had stocked the cupboard with. 

He walked back out into the bedroom and, feeling a bit silly, he took all his clothes off and slipped into the bed. He sighed, laying his head on the pillow and breathing in, pretending to himself that he wasn’t inhaling the comforting scent of Louis. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled.

_ “Hello?” _

“Hey,” Harry said with a sigh. “You okay?”

_ “Not bad, love,” _ Louis replied.  _ “You alright?” _

“Good, thanks.”

_ “How was the seaside? Did your mum love it?” _

“She did! She had some fish and chips and ate an ice cream on the beach. She doesn’t get out that much, so I think she was quite pleased to go somewhere.”

_ “Aw, that’s lovely.” _

“Good day?”

_ “It was okay. Had Emily in the shop for a bit, then I went round to her new flat. I swear, it’s bigger than mine.” _

Harry chuckled quietly. “Well, if business keeps booming, you’ll be able to move in a more comfortable place.”

Louis hummed.  _ “Well, she’s nice and settled.” _

“That’s great. I’ve got a meeting about the album tomorrow in the morning, but I was thinking of coming by the shop afterwards.”

_ “Oh.”  _ Louis cleared his throat.  _ “That’s good, actually. I have something to talk to you about.” _

“Alright, well I’ll definitely pop round then. I’ll let you get back to your evening; I just wanted to say hi.”

_ “I’m glad you did. See you tomorrow.” _

“Bye.”

Harry hung up and sighed. He wouldn’t sleep in here and he had to return downstairs to take his medication at any rate, but he stayed in Louis’ bed to drink his hot chocolate and revel in the atmosphere of Louis all around him.

-

The meeting went well and it put Harry in a decidedly good mood. He was about to start recording what might be his last ever album, which he was super excited about. He would then have to perform three concerts at Wembley Stadium, which… he wasn’t so excited about, but he was starting to find confidence in himself that he was capable of doing it.

His hair stylist came round to his house to give him a trim and tell him off for not using his caffeine shampoo.

“It doesn’t work,” Harry complained.

“It bloody does.”

“It smells weird.”

“Why do you have to be difficult all the time?”

Harry grinned. Giving his staff a hard time was something that he loved to do. He wound them up to the point of irritation before bringing them back from the edge with his winning charm. 

“Aww, Sal. I’m not difficult, I’m just particular. You do such a wonderful job, I know I should listen to you more. I promise I will. I’ll definitely use the shampoo.”

Sally couldn’t help but grin. “Alright, you’d better.”

He negotiated his next appointment with her and they left the house at the same time. Sally got into her car and Harry strolled off down the street in the direction of Camden Town.

“Hi!” Louis smiled when Harry walked through the door. “Haircut?”

“Very observant.”

“Well, aside from the length, it looks very neat. I know  _ you _ didn’t style it.”

“Oh!” Harry laughed in mild surprise. “Thanks very much.”

Louis grinned as Harry rounded the counter and gave his hand a quick squeeze. He perched himself on the second stool.

“So?” Harry asked. “What did you wanna talk about?”

“Ah.” Louis closed his laptop and glanced at the door. He turned to look at Harry. “Bit of bad news.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “You’re… are you okay?”

Louis sighed, rolling his eyes and nodding slightly. “It’s not me. Nothing like that. It’s just… alright, well. You’ve done some amazing things and helped out a lot, but… I still don’t think this shop is gonna survive much longer.”

Harry’s heart plummeted. “Seriously?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for the past month, trying to find a way, discussing it with Emily.” Louis looked up at Harry. “I’d like to talk to you about a possible solution.”

“Oh. Um, okay. You know I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Alright, well… I want you to think about this properly before you give me an answer. I told you before that I didn’t want financial help from you, that I wouldn’t take a hand out. But… I was wondering how you’d feel about buying half of the business.”

Harry eyebrows shot up. “Oh, uh. Wow.”

“This is a serious decision to make, I know. Please think it through first.”

“You really wanna go into business with me?”

“Well, Harry, you’ve done a brilliant job of being a businessman the past forty years. I think you’d be a fantastic person to go into business with.”

“I’d absolutely love to, Lou.” Harry smiled. “But I’ll talk with my lawyer. I’ll give her your contact details and she’ll sort it all out for me.”

Louis smirked. “Princess.”

“Watch it,” Harry said with a grin. “Do you feel sad at the idea of selling?”

Louis shook his head. “No, not at all. I’m sure we’ll disagree on a lot of things, but I trust you not to be too unreasonable.”

“Ah, I’m happy to be a fairly silent partner. This is your business and I’m not interested in telling you what to do or anything.”

Louis smiled softly. “Well, thank you.”

“I’m really glad you decided to take some help from me.”

Louis levelled him with a deeply unimpressed look. “I’m not taking help from you, Harry. I’m selling you something that you’ll hopefully profit from.”

“You’re right.” Harry looked down. “Sorry.”

Louis was so ridiculously funny about Harry thinking he was taking help. Harry didn’t care. He knew Louis wasn’t friends with him for his own gain. Louis had made that pretty clear. However, Harry was thrilled he would be able to help Louis out. He had some ideas on how to boost the shop a bit, but he didn’t exactly want to stand on Louis’ toes. Any profit he himself would get from the shop was pocket change to him. 

“I know I said I’m happy to be a silent partner…”

“Oh, that didn’t take long!” Louis said lightly.

“But does this mean if I’ve got ideas you  _ have  _ to listen to me?”

“It means we can discuss any ideas you have. And you already know I’m going to say no to anything tacky. Like, no, you can’t perform a concert in here.”

“Are you joking? That would be carnage.”

“Well, I look forward to hearing your ideas, but let’s not jump the gun. Your lawyer will probably tell you not to waste your money.”

“Well, she’s here to advise, not tell me what to do.”

Conversation drifted away to other subjects. Louis told Harry of a somewhat unpleasant check-up at his GP, and Harry told Louis about his album meeting. They talked about Emily, Louis telling Harry that she was struggling to adjust to having a less mentally taxing job.

“I told her to work the change out without the till but she rolled her eyes at me and said nobody pays in cash at the supermarket.”

“She’s right,” Harry said gently.

Louis threw him a dirty look. “It was just an idea. Anyway, she’s thinking of maybe taking a bookkeeping course. Then she can keep the books for this place.”

“Who does it now?”

“I do.”

“Well, could you afford to take her on?”

“Maybe.” Louis pouted in thought. “It wouldn’t be a very big job for her. She could do it alongside another job.”

“Mm,” Harry hummed with a shrug. “Well, see what happens. She might end up really loving working in Asda.”

Louis let out a soft laugh, light and melodic. “Yeah, that’s… not going to happen.”

-

Tuesday evening came, and Harry was not with Louis.

He pouted his way through a business dinner, stuffing his face while Liam did all the talking, as usual. Harry wasn’t exactly one to let other people make his decisions for him, but Liam knew him well enough to talk on his behalf.

“If we market this as the final Harry Styles album, it’ll sell.”

“It’ll sell anyway,” Liam said flatly. “You know that. And Harry isn’t prepared to announce it as his last album when he’s not sure it  _ will _ be his last. Harry has, however, agreed to selling the Wembley shows as his last concerts.”

“How are we feeling on the possibility of additional shows if they sell out quick enough?”

Liam glanced at Harry. “I think, tentatively, we’re saying we’ll go to five at the most.”

Harry held his hand up to gesture to their waiter, who came hurrying over.

“Hiya, can I get more feta for my salad? I forgot to ration it and I’ve eaten it all.”

Liam snorted into his glass of wine before composing himself. “Also, Mr. Styles likes to overrun when he performs, so he’ll need to start a bit earlier so he has leeway with curfew.”

“I need a really, really long catwalk,” Harry butted in. “Can I get a little shuttle train to get to the end, though? Or one of those motorised scooters?”

“Harry-”

“I’m joking. About the scooter. Not about the catwalk.”

Harry insisted on having dessert and, when they had finally finished, a car dropped him and Liam at Harry’s. 

“Thanks for letting me stay.”

“No probs. I know Alex will kill you if you come home banging and crashing and waking up the whole house. You want another drink?”

Liam paused. “Yeah, go on. A beer would be great.”

Harry fetched a beer for each of them and they headed into the conservatory. The moon glinted over everything, casting the whole room in a pale light. There was something slightly eerie about it. Liam threw himself down in the armchair and Harry stretched his legs out on the sofa. He wasn’t used to having the sofa all to himself.

“What do you think, then?” Liam asked before sipping at his beer. “Do you really want a catwalk?”

“Yeah, it’s much better for connecting with the fans. I  _ always _ have a catwalk.”

“Alright, it’s fine. I just wasn’t sure if you’d…”

“I can walk, Liam. I can even run. How old do you think I am? I know I’m not as fit as you, but come on.”

“Sorry! Sorry.”

“So.” Harry pursed his lips to hide a sly grin. “I’m gonna buy half of Louis’ bookshop.”

Liam paused with his beer bottle halfway to his lips. “Oh yeah?”

“Yup.”

“Alright.” Liam shrugged. “It’s your money.”

“I’m not a sucker. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“You know it’s not. Because I know you’re not a sucker.”

Harry smirked. “I’ve done enough sucking for one lifetime, right?”

They finished their beers and after Harry took his medication, they headed upstairs.

“Night, Haz. Should I use the room at the end?”

Harry’s heart jolted a bit. “No, no. That’s, um… That’s Louis’ room. Why don’t you use the back bedroom on the next floor? The garden looks gorgeous in the morning.”

“Louis has a room?”

“Shut up. He stays a lot, okay? He drinks when he comes over.” Harry rolled his eyes and told himself to sound less defensive. “He’s got his stuff in there, so... Just- go to bed.”

-

Harry was lost in breakfast preparation and humming to himself.

“Good morning.”

Harry turned away from the frying pan, looking over his shoulder. He grinned stupidly when Louis walked into the kitchen.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Well, you mentioned you were gonna have a lazy morning then stop by the shop.” Louis shrugged. “Emily forced me to take a day off, so…”

“Oh.”

“Um, I hope it’s okay for me to just turn up like this. You can tell me not to.”

Harry loved that Louis felt he could  _ just turn up.  _ It was very familiar of him. “You are always welcome here. What do you think I’d be doing? Having a sex party?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Louis replied in a sing-song voice.

“Oi!” Harry giggled. “Just for that, you’re not getting any bacon.”

“Aww,” Louis complained, strolling over to Harry and putting an arm around his waist. “Really?”

“Hmm.” Harry turned off the hob and turned towards Louis. “I’ll think about it.”

“I like it cooked a bit more than that,” Louis said, nodding towards the pan.

“Go and sit down. Now.” Harry playfully nudged Louis away. “I’ll bring it over.”

Louis did as he was told, and Harry turned the hob back on to crisp up the bacon a bit, as per Louis’ request. He brought the plate of bacon to the table, along with a loaf of bread to accompany the cutlery and condiments he had laid there before Louis arrived. 

“I really don’t want to inflict myself on your life. If you’ve got stuff to do, I can go after-”

Harry smiled softly. “Louis, you know I’m always thrilled to have your company.”

Louis nodded, looking relieved. He smiled, running his hand through his hair. Harry watched the movement, as he always did, and something caught his eye.

Or, rather… the something that usually caught his eye was no longer there.

“What’s happened to your wedding ring?” Harry asked without thinking. 

“Oh.” Louis looked down as he buttered two slices of bread. “Um, well… I’ve been doing some thinking and I just kind of felt like, by wearing it, I was clinging onto Ethan. Holding him too close, in a way? I felt like it was preventing me from moving on. Not in a romantic way, as such, but just… into independent life.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I talked to Emily first. I didn’t want her to feel hurt by it, but… she told me it was definitely time I did it.”

“I hope this doesn’t sound patronising, but I’m proud of you. I can’t imagine it was a very easy thing to do.”

Louis smiled sadly. “No. It wasn’t. It was like closure, in a way. Which… as daunting as that was,  _ is _ a good thing, all in all.”

Harry nodded and smiled. They both returned to the task of making themselves bacon sandwiches, eating in silence. Harry tried not to revisit in his mind the anguish that Louis had been through. Losing his husband too young. Having his daughter move away. Being alone, halfway across the world from his entire family. 

Harry reckoned coming back to England had been the best thing for Louis, but it was probably the best thing to happen to Harry, too.

They headed into the living room to watch some crap TV while they drank a cup of tea. Louis swung his socked feet up, laying them on Harry’s lap. Harry suddenly blushed as a random, fuzzy memory of Louis’ toes curling popped into his head. He laid his hands gently and purposefully in his lap, on top of Louis’ shins.

“Do you ever get random memories popping into your head, Lou? Something you didn’t even know you remembered?”

Louis turned to look at him, tilting his head to lay it on the back of the sofa. “Yeah. Why? What did you just remember?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Come on!” Louis teased softly. “Was it me? Was it a sex thing?”

“Shut up,” Harry murmured with a grin. “You wanna know a weird memory I have of you?”

“Definitely.”

“We were in LA. I can’t remember why, now.”

“Ah, that would be because you flew me in when you were bored and lonely.”

A small smile crept onto Harry’s face. “Hm. Sounds about right. Anyway, I had this wicked shower. It had these ambient lights and the outside wall was glass. Do you remember?”

“Yeah.” Louis looked down and grinned. “And I remember being in there with you.”

“Oh, you do? You probably have a better recollection of it than me. I remember we were just… kissing. We kissed for ages and ages until I eventually gave you a hand job I think it was?” Harry sighed. “That time in LA was when I knew I was in a bit too deep.”

Louis blinked, the corner of his mouth turning up. “Yeah? Me too, I think.”

“Huh.” Harry pouted and nodded. “But I also remember you made a bitchy comment to me afterwards.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah.” Harry smirked wryly. It was something like, ‘do you take all your groupies out to dinner?’.”

Louis squeezed his lips shut, stifling a grin. “Oops.”

“Oh, it hurt.” Harry shook his head and smiled, despite himself. “It really hurt my feelings. I’d thought we were getting somewhere and then you just… shot me down.”

“I suppose I didn’t deal with my feelings very well.” Louis shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“Ah, I’m just teasing. Well, I mean… I was hurt. But, it is what it is. We were young. Foolish.”

Louis sat up, swung his legs off of Harry’s lap and shuffled in close. He took Harry’s hand in both of his own.

“There’s a lot of stuff that happened that we should just… forget about.”

“I’ve forgotten a lot of stuff,” Harry replied grumpily. “I don’t even get to enjoy most of our memories.”

“Harry,” Louis scolded softly. “Are you talking about touching yourself?”

“Look, I may be a sad, old man who can’t be bothered to have sex, but I still have needs.”

“Oh, my God.” Louis chuckled. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Sorry. I’m also too old to have a filter.”

“Well, now I feel weird about kissing you.”

“Oh!” Harry shook his head and frowned. “No, no, no.”

He moved in and kissed Louis, trying to make it feel not weird, which probably just made it feel weirder. Still, he held Louis’ face in his hand, feeling the warmth of Louis’ breath against his lips.

“What are you doing today?” Louis whispered, lips moving against Harry’s.

“Nothing. Hey,” Harry said. “I’ve been meaning to get back into swimming. My doctor is on my case about it. You wanna go down for a swim? I can run you home so you can get something to wear, or you can borrow something of mine.”

“That sounds great! Might as well just borrow something.” Louis pulled away and raised an eyebrow. “Although, I don’t know how you expect me to get into a pool with you, both of us semi naked, after you just told me that you wish you could wank over our memories.”

Harry stood to his feet and held his hand out to help Louis up. “Oh, don’t tell me you don’t.”

“This isn’t about me,” Louis replied, a picture of nonchalance as his ears turned red, giving him away somewhat. “Let’s go.”

They went to Harry’s room and Harry found Louis some trunks. He headed off into his own room to change and Harry stripped down. He looked at his reflection in his full length mirror and frowned.

He was too old to feel self-conscious, or so he thought. He used to have a firm body. Naturally pert pecs and and easily maintainable abs. Nowadays, he was soft and podgy, and generally out of shape. Louis had seen him topless recently, of course, but Harry just wasn’t looking forward to standing in front of Louis in his trunks.

Especially because, well. Louis’ body looked much the same as Harry remembered. When they met up in the hall and headed downstairs together, Harry couldn’t not look. Louis’ chest was flat and smooth, and he carried no extra weight but his hips were still soft, the blue swimming trunks gently clinging to his skin. As Harry had already observed several times, Louis’ arse was still round and pert and Louis very nearly caught him staring.

“Now, is this pool warm?”

“Um… no.” Harry grinned. “I can heat it, but it’ll take a while. There’s a bar down there though. We can have a drink while we wait.”

Louis scoffed. “Of course you have a bar down there. It’s barely midday, you know.”

“Like I care,” Harry said lightly.

He led Louis back downstairs, pulling open the door to the basement pool. As he walked down the stairs, Harry smiled to himself as the basement came into view. It was gorgeous, and he scolded himself mentally for leaving it so long between visits.

“So,” Harry said. “Over there is the bar. I’m gonna mix you up a special cocktail. There’s also a sauna over there. We can sit in there for a bit if you like. And on the other side of that glass wall over there is a little seating area with a TV.”

“You could spend your whole life down here,” Louis whispered in awe. “This is insane. I can’t believe you’ve never showed me this. You were holding out on me.”

Harry shrugged, walking over to the bar. He opened the hatch for the controls and switched the pool heater on. He fiddled with mood lighting until an ambient, warm orange glow filled the entire space.

“Rich people make me sick.”

Harry cackled in surprise. “Can we get mood lighting like this in the bookshop?”

“Don’t push it, you.” Louis walked over to the edge of the pool and poked his toe in. “Ugh. Yeah, that’s freezing.”

“Sit down and have a bloody drink.”

Harry mixed them both a cocktail which he called the ‘Styles Special’, but it was basically a strawberry martini. Louis had a point about it being early, so he didn’t make it very strong. The room was starting to warm up, but the pool wouldn’t be warm for a while. They took their drinks through to the seating area and each curled up on a soft, fancy chair. Harry wondered what he was thinking when he bought these stupid chairs. Still, they were comfortable.

“My doctor’s all like, ‘If you have a pool, why don’t you just go for a swim in the mornings?’ But it’s so boring waiting for it to warm up, and if I get in when it’s cold, my joints will hurt.”

“Why don’t you get Gwen to switch it on in the mornings when she gets here?”

“Hm, that’s a good idea.” Harry chewed the inside of his cheek. “Even Gwen gets stroppy at me for not using the pool. She still insists on giving down here a full clean twice a week, even if I’ve not used it.”

“I’m gonna make you swim more,” Louis said, nodding for emphasis. “Why does your doctor want to you swim? For fitness?”

“Yeah. That and I have a hip that gets a bit sore. He says swimming is a great way to exercise that won’t hurt the injury, and it’ll also help strengthen the hip.”

“Mm, true.” Louis sipped his drink. “I might have to start coming over to use it.”

“You should. I’d love it to get more use. Tell Emily, too. When Gemma’s family come over, they use it, but they’re rarely here these days. They loved it over Christmas. The kids would play in the garden then come in for a splash in the pool. In fact… let me show you something. Watch the pool.”

Harry headed out of the seating area and back behind the bar. He flipped a switch and grinned over to Louis as the water started to swell slightly and small waves rippled from one end of the pool to the other. Once he saw an expression of acknowledgement on Louis’ face, he switched it back off.

“How cool is that?” Harry said as he sat back in his chair. “The kids love it.”

“That really is impressive.”

Harry moved to a cupboard in the seating area and pulled out two huge towels. He led Louis back out, the humidity telling Harry the pool was nearly ready. Harry laid his towel on a lounger and Louis did the same. Harry sat at the edge of the pool and pushed his legs in.

“Alright, it’s warm here, but it might be cooler in the middle.”

“Oh, that sounds fine.” Louis trotted over and sat next to Harry. “It’s gonna feel cold at first either way, no?”

“I suppose.”

Louis pushed off the edge of the pool and slipped into the water, gasping quietly. He dunked his head under and flicked his hair back once he re-emerged.

“Get in, you.”

Harry reached back to grab their drinks and he put them at the edge of the pool before slipping into the water. Louis grinned before turning and swimming off, neatly cutting through the water.

Harry leaned back on the edge of the pool and paddled lazily, watching Louis. This pool was actually bigger than the one in the house he had in LA, much better for actual swimming versus lounging around. Louis went up and down several times before slowing and making his way back over to Harry.

“God,” Harry scoffed. “You’re fit for your age, Lou.”

“Ah, I’m not that fit. I just keep in shape.”

“I can see that,” Harry replied, placing his hand on his own slightly protruding belly. 

Louis caught the movement. Harry hadn’t intended for him to, but he had. Louis reached out to take Harry’s hand under the water.

“I’ve always marvelled at how well you’ve aged, you know,” Louis told him.

“Sure!” Harry said with a slight laugh. “I look like a sock. An old, forgotten sock.”

“That was a terrible comparison. I’m assuming you’re trying to say you look like wrinkled clothes, but socks don’t really wrinkle.”

“See, now you’re cleverer than me, too.”

“I don’t think knowing that socks don’t wrinkle is really cleverness.”

Louis slotted their fingers together under the water and Harry felt warm. It was probably from the pool heater.

“I wrote a song about you,” he suddenly blurted out.

Louis gave a wicked smirk. “Oh! Did you? For your new album?”

“Um. No.” Shit. Harry had to talk about it now. He hadn’t even finished one drink and already he couldn’t control his mouth. “Alright. First of all, you need to understand how the writing process works. You go into a room with a bunch of people, you might share something you wanna write about, it may or may not be personal. The final product might be a meshing of everybody’s ideas and stories, you know, interpretations and embellishments…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“So that’s what kind of happened with this song. I had you on my mind, and I really just wanted to write a simple song about how fond of you I was. Do you remember a song I had called Sweet Creature?”

Louis paused and just stared at Harry. “Yeah. We were singing it the other week, when we were drunk.”

“That song was the result of that. Some of it doesn’t tally, I know, but some of my real sentiments are in there. ‘You bring me home’ was one. There were some times I kind of just wanted to stay in LA. I felt like a failure and a disappointment to my family. I didn’t want to see them because I couldn’t bear the worry and pity on my mother’s face.” Harry swallowed. “So, sometimes you were the only thing that brought me home. And  _ sometimes… _ you were the only thing that brought me back from the edge, too.”

“I… I don’t know what to say, Harry.”

Harry stared down at the water, giving a small smile. “That’s okay.”

“I’m… honoured. Flattered. I’m just… It’s one of my very favourite songs of yours, you know.”

Harry finally looked up at him and he noticed a strange look in Louis’ eyes. He felt strange, himself. There was a muted urge to cry simmering inside of him somewhere. He smiled at Louis, who leaned in to kiss him. When Louis pulled away, he sighed.

“I’ve always adored your lyrics. You’re such a talented songwriter.”

Harry shrugged. “You know, I drew on the feelings I had for you quite often. It’s all I really knew.”

“What about now? When you write?”

“Ah. I’ve not really written much in years, especially recently. I’ve got a songwriting session in a couple of weeks, though. Need one or two songs for the album. So that will be interesting.”

Louis hummed and then ducked under the water again. He emerged, gasping.

“This water’s lovely, now.”

Harry grabbed his cocktail and drained his glass. “The cool water’s lovely in the summer. Not that it really gets that hot here.”

“In Australia, we had a neighbour down the end of the street who had a pool. Emily was obsessed with it. She spent so many summers down there. I had to go looking for her one Christmas day because she’d gone down there for a splash.”

Harry grinned softly. “What was she like as a kid?”

“Well, as I said before, she was a daddy’s girl. When she was younger, she’d follow me everywhere. If I went to the supermarket, she came. If I went to the dentist, she came. Once she became a teenager, that all changed. She was never a difficult child but an independent thirteen year old can be a challenge.”

“Was it hard when she didn’t need you anymore?”

“Insanely difficult. She went from being clingy as anything to not wanting to know in a matter of weeks. I felt like I’d lost her, honestly. It was a horrible feeling.” Louis shrugged. “Once I’d adjusted, stopped taking it personally, I thought it was great. She was always so clever and she did so well in all her exams.”

“No wonder she’s so bored working in Asda.”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes later, Louis got out of the pool and wrapped his towel all the way round himself. He sat on the lounger and watched as Harry half-heartedly did a few lengths before getting out and sitting next to Louis.

“Hey,” Harry said. “Emily’s independent, but you know she still needs her old dad.”

“Yeah,” Louis replied softly. “And hey, less of the old.”

-

Harry remembered, as he snapped a photo, when the whole world was in love with Ed Sheeran.

He used to be the cool, ginger dude who worked magic with his guitar and his loop pedal, the artist of everybody’s new favourite love song. The subject of nationwide, even worldwide obsession.

And this was why Harry was so amused by the sight in front of him. Ed had fallen asleep, mid-strum, guitar hanging from his body as he drooled over himself. His hair glistened in the light, what was once ginger now faded to an indescribable colour.

Harry sent the photo to a bunch of people: Liam, Niall Horan, Bebe Rexha, Louis. Harry chuckled to himself as he sipped at his Coke. There was never any alcohol drinking at Ed’s. Ed was sober and was never willing to trust himself.

Harry put his glass down on the table and the thud made Ed jerk awake.

“Good morning, popstar.”

“Hm?” Ed grumbled. “What happened?”

“You fell asleep in the middle of playing me a song you wrote.”

“Which song?”

“I don’t know, you barely started. You wanted me to put it on my album. You were selling me a product, and you fell asleep.”

Ed pouted, running a hand over his protruding belly. “Sorry, mate. I need a coffee.”

“Stay here, Princess, I’ll make us some.”

When Harry returned with coffee, Ed was asleep again. Harry sat down quietly, rolling his eyes and sipping from his own cup. One of Ed’s cats came trotting into the room and hopped up, trying with difficulty to sit on Ed’s lap alongside the guitar. 

Ed jerked awake once again and a split second later started to strum at his guitar. The cat dashed away.

“Can you just drink your coffee, Ed? I didn’t come round to watch you sleep.”

Ed sighed, pulling his guitar off and placing it carefully on the armchair. He picked up his coffee cup and started to gulp down the hot liquid.

“I think I need to see the doctor about this.”

“About falling asleep? It’s alright to nap. But you do kind of fall asleep suddenly.”

“The main thing is, I didn’t fall asleep in the middle of my set for your concert.”

“True,” Harry said with a slight laugh. “How did it feel? Performing again?”

“It was alright.”

“You know you could make a killing if you toured your last album.”

“Harry, I can do the odd charity performance, but there’s no way I can do a full show, let alone a tour. I think I would literally die.”

Harry took a breath and picked at his thumbnail. “Did you hear I’m doing some Wembley shows?”

“Yeah! Good for you, man.”

Harry nudged him. “Look, why don’t you open for me? I want to make these concerts as epic as possible and I’d really love you to be my support act.”

Ed looked taken aback. “Oh. Harry, that’s… I don’t know.”

“Just think about it?” Harry smiled encouragingly. Ed sitting at home doing nothing was a waste and besides, it would be good for him. “I’ll talk to Liam.”

“Alright,” Ed said. “I’ll think about it.”

-

Harry stood next to Louis in his cramped kitchen, watching as he stirred the bolognaise. 

“This smells great.”

“Thanks. Here.” Louis stuck a fork into the pot and speared a bit of meat. He blew on it and held it out to Harry. Harry took it between his teeth before chewing. “Good?”

“Mm.” Harry nodded. “Really good. Now I’m definitely hungry.”

“Why don’t you set the table for me?”

Harry did as he was told as Louis dished up dinner. Harry tucked in immediately, moaning in appreciation. Louis looked pleased.

“My secret ingredient is just… more garlic.”

“I can see that.” Harry grinned. “You’ll probably want to kiss after this, as well.”

Louis shrugged, stifling a grin. “Maybe.”

Harry ate his dinner in record time. He leaned back, cradling his stomach and sipping at his glass of red wine.

“How is it, living on your own again?”

Louis levelled him with a look. “It’s horrible. I was okay before Emily came to live with me, but it made me see what I was missing and now I’m just lonely all the time. I try not to be home too much, to be honest. I’m either at the shop, at yours, or at Emily’s. I hate this flat.” 

Harry chewed on his bottom lip. “Can I say something? I know you’re gonna get mad.”

“What?” Louis asked flatly.

“Well… okay, hear me out. I’ve been lonely, too,  _ so _ lonely, for years. Why don’t you just move in with me? You spend a lot of time at mine as it is. You’ve got your own room, for God’s sake.”

Louis didn’t look very impressed. “Are you being serious?”

“I could really do with the company, and it sounds like you could too. Come on, it makes perfect sense.”

“Harry, no. How many times do I have to tell you-”

“Louis.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Can you just… unclench? I’m not trying to do you a favour, here. I’m just asking you to consider something that will benefit the both of us. Look, if you don’t want to do it because you don’t want to spend more time with me, or because you don’t want to share any of your space, or you’re not comfortable in my home, then by all means, say no. But don’t say no because you think I’m doing it as a favour or because you think I’m trying to lavish you with my riches, or whatever else you might be bloody thinking. I’ll charge you rent, if that’s what you want.”

Louis sat back in his chair and folded his arms. “You’ll charge me something stupid like a tenner a month. We both know I can’t afford a sensible rent on your place. I can’t afford a sensible rent even if I lived in your garden shed.”

“Well,” Harry said in a condescending tone. “Then, why don’t you just let me charge you what you pay here? To cover any bills you might rack up, food you might eat, that kind of thing? Then I’m not ‘out of pocket’,” Harry paused to scoff, “and you don’t get any financial benefit from the move. All you get is a bigger living space and my company.”

Louis rolled his eyes and scoffed, but Harry knew him well enough by now to see that he was relenting.

“You would have to respect the way I feel, Harry. I wouldn’t want to feel like you were keeping me. At any point.”

“Okay, I get that. But you’d have to follow the house rules. You want something, you put it on the shopping list and either me or Gwen will pick it up. You can do the shopping if you want, but you have to take the card for the household account. Your rent will cover your groceries so, of course, you’re welcome to pick things up yourself, but the main household grocery shop has to be done through the account. My accountant needs us to do that for him to do his job properly.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“You can take your current room, no problem. Or if you’d prefer, you can take the whole top floor, and we can just share a kitchen. You could turn one of the bedrooms into a living room.”

“No, no. My current room is fine.”

Harry smirked. “Is that a yes?”

“I suppose.” Louis betrayed a smile. “Tentatively. We need to have an agreement drawn up. Since I’ll be paying rent, I want a contract. We can discuss our terms and come to an agreement on all this stuff.”

Harry’s face broke apart in a wide grin. “Louis, I’m ecstatic. I  _ so _ want to live with you. You’ll be nearer to work, too.”

Louis sighed. “Can you believe I’m sixty-two and I don’t own a home? I gambled everything I had on a bloody used bookshop. In this day and age! Of course, the house me and Ethan had in Australia wouldn’t have even paid for this horrible little flat.”

“Well, at least if you’re living with me, you don’t have to worry about how secure you are.”

“What if we get in a fight and fall out?”

Harry grinned softly. “Unlikely. But we’ll put all that in our little contract.”

“Don’t demean the contract!” Louis scolded, but a smile played on his lips. “Wait until we tell Emily. She’s gonna have a fucking field day.”

“You can tell her there’s a room for her whenever she wants to stay, too.”

As trying as Harry considered proud, stubborn Louis, it was one of Harry’s favourite things about him. Harry had been tentatively pondering the idea of Louis moving in for a while, but he always knew he would had a fight on his hands. Harry was guilty of one crime, and that was of attacking Louis with the idea when he felt particularly vulnerable.

Louis got his garlicky snog and Harry headed home. He wondered how Gwen would take the news, considering she already judged Harry and it would also mean she had an extra person to clear up after. 

“Thank goodness!” Gwen threw her arms up in praise. “Mr. Styles finally has a partner!”

“No, no,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. “You know it’s not like that. And please don’t say things like that around Louis. It doesn’t need to be awkward, okay?”

Gwen smirked. “Of course I won’t.”

“Good. And you’re not mad that I’m doubling your workload?”

“No.” Gwen looked at him, unimpressed. “My job is comprised mostly of cleaning rooms that you don’t use.”

“Oh.”

“Hey,” Gwen whispered conspiratorially. “Maybe you should think about downsizing.”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly. “This is my home, Gwendolyn.”

Gwen shrugged, walking off and muttering to herself.

-

**Ed Sheeran to open for Harry Styles at Wembley Stadium**

**\---**

The next month was busy. Harry’s lawyer focused on Harry’s investment in Louis’ business. Louis hired the cheapest solicitor he could find, who told Louis that Harry’s lawyer was swinging things heavily in his favour. The poor solicitor seemed confused when Louis was irritated by this.

“Mr. Tomlinson, this is a fantastic arrangement for you.”

“I want a deal that doesn’t benefit either party more than the other. I want it to be even and fair.”

Harry just reclined in his chair and laughed. His lawyer seemed as exasperated as Louis’ solicitor. Harry just let them fight it out, having already instructed his lawyer to make sure Louis gets a good deal and that they slightly overpay for half of the business.

“You’re a snake,” Louis had told Harry when their representation had left. 

Harry had just hissed at him. Once they had finally all come to an agreement, they forewent legal advice for the house stuff and Louis brought Emily with him to help him negotiate. Harry wasn’t taking it very seriously, which wound up Louis. 

“Eat your pizza,” Harry cooed. “It’s getting cold.”

“Shut up. I’m not happy with this shit about the shopping account paying for my toiletries and stuff. The way it sounds, Gwen will keep the cupboard stocked whether I like it or not. I thought I wasn’t supposed to benefit financially from this?”

“Okay, but Louis, there’s no need for  _ me _ to financially benefit from this. The extra costs to the household due to you living here will be more than covered by your rent, and-”

“That can’t be true. Heating that bloody pool must cost about the same as my rent.”

“That’s obviously not true. And anyway, it doesn’t count if it’s stuff I would use anyway.”

“You don’t use the pool,” Louis responded flatly.

“Look, all I’m saying is that if someone is going to benefit from this financially, it should be you. We’re not exactly talking about stupid amounts of money, you’ll just be a little more comfortable.”

“Dad,” Emily whispered. “Let it go. Pick your battles.”

“But-”

“Having a couple of hundred quid extra a month doesn’t make you a user or a gold digger,” Emily said with a roll of her eyes. “Your lotions and potions aren’t exactly going to bankrupt Harry.”

“Yeah,” Harry added.

“Okay, well, I want my own shelf on the fridge.”

Harry looked at Emily, unimpressed. She stifled a laugh.

“Um, okay,” Harry said. “I’ll make room for you. Or you can have your own fridge?”

Louis practically scowled. 

Once they had hashed out what felt like a billion silly things that Louis had concerns about, the three of them went up to Louis’ room. Louis had agreed to let Harry make any minor alterations that he might need to live in the room comfortably.

“I’d prefer a roller blind for the window,” Louis mused. “Maybe some colour for the walls?”

“Yeah, no problem. What about this hardwood floor? You like? Or would you prefer carpet?”

“It’s fine. I might need to get a couple of thicker rugs because my feet will cramp if I walk on a cold floor in the winter.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have underfloor heating.”

Louis blinked. “Of course you do.”

Louis insisted on showing Emily the pool before she left. She announced that next time she came over she would be bringing a swimsuit and, with that, she left to go home. Harry and Louis grabbed the leftover pizza from the kitchen and headed into the living room.

“God, I’m exhausted.” Harry sighed, throwing himself down on the sofa, wincing as his hip clicked. “You are one tough customer.”

“What can I say?” Louis bit into a slice of pizza and gave Harry a wink. “I want what I want.”

“You know, if you ever decide to completely abandon your pride, I’m happy to provide you with anything you need. I mean, I’d love to get you a decent car, for example, but you don’t even let me buy you pizza.”

Louis smiled softly. “Well, let’s start small, and eventually I might let you buy me a plane or something. We should have dinner on the night I move in. I’m talking three courses, really expensive wine, loads of candles. And we should both dress nicely.”

“Yeah?” Harry grinned. “That sounds lovely.”

“We can use that dining room of yours that I’ve never even been in. And you should get someone in to wait on us.”

-

Harry cleared his schedule, and he and Louis spent a day packing up and cleaning the flat. Harry took some boxes home with him and the next day they moved the rest of Louis’ things into Harry’s home. Harry and Louis’ home, now.

After a small lunch - they had their dinner to come that night, after all - Harry helped Louis unpack and then they collapsed on Louis’ bed.

“Moving house is horrible,” Harry complained.

“Yeah?” Louis replied. “Try moving here from Australia.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “Okay. Fair point.”

He turned his head as Louis rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his palm. 

“I’ve decided.”

“What have you decided?” Harry asked.

“I’m gonna… ‘unclench’, as you so beautifully put it. I promise I won’t fight you on every little financial matter or expense.”

“Good,” Harry said. “Because I’ve not had to worry about petty finance in a long time, and I wasn’t looking forward to starting.”

“You poor thing.” Louis grinned. “You’re still not allowed to take the piss. I will call you out if you do.”

“Alright. That seems fair.”

Louis reached in and cupped Harry’s cheek, gently stroking over his cheekbone.

“I reckon this is gonna be great. Living with you.”

“You sure you won’t find it difficult? Not being able to get away from me?”

“Why would I want to get away from you?” Louis frowned. “I’ve got my own space if I need to be alone. That’s enough.”

Harry smiled and Louis leaned down and kissed him. Warmth blossomed inside of Harry as Louis shuffled closer, pushing his fingers into Harry’s hair. Harry spread his hand on Louis’ back and slipped his tongue into his mouth. They kissed lazily, calmly, Harry running his hand up, and then down Louis’ back. He had accidentally rucked Louis’ jumper up, and his hand came into contact with hot skin at Louis’ waist. He squeezed his fingertips into Louis’ skin briefly before pulling away.

“I’m going to have a shower and get ready for our little date.”

Louis stayed on the bed, slipping his hand under his jumper and stroking over his stomach as Harry stood up, stretched, and waved as he walked towards the door.

“I’ll see you in an hour and a half.” Harry bowed dramatically. “Meet me in the dining room!”

-

“Thank you, John,” Harry whispered to the waiter he had found for tonight. John was actually Gwen’s husband, whose brother was a Michelin starred chef, and was making dinner. John smiled as he placed the jug of iced water on the table.

Harry sat down, fixing his pink, floral shirt. He glanced down at his chest, his swallow tattoos peeking out. He had second thoughts about how many buttons he had left undone. He buttoned up an additional one just as Louis appeared in the doorway.

Harry stood to his feet. Louis had dressed up, almost to the point of ridiculousness. He was wearing a tuxedo with impeccably polished shoes and meticulously neatened hair. Harry raised his eyebrows high and a small grin played on his lips.

“Wow. Don’t you clean up well?”

Louis smirked, approaching Harry and embracing him, kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m joking,” Harry continued. “You’re always gorgeous. Always have been.”

Louis accepted the compliment with another smirk and he took his place at the table opposite Harry.

“Nice dining room. Very large table.”

Harry shrugged, looking left to the other eight places at the table. “Big extended family, innit?”

Louis nodded. “Who’s cooking dinner?”

“Gwen’s brother in law.”

Louis looked curious just as John entered the room to pour the wine. Louis sat up straight, smiling politely, and thanking John as he left the room. He picked up his glass and took a sip.

“Hm.”

“No good?” Harry grinned.

“No, it’s alright.”

“Alright?” Harry scoffed. “That wine cost a hundred and sixty quid.”

“Mere pocket change,” Louis said lightly as John entered the room.

“Cantonese-style steamed oysters,” John announced, placing a plate in front of either of them. 

Louis continued to pretend to be posh throughout their starter, making Harry giggle constantly. By the time they had finished, Louis was on his second glass of wine and his cheeks were tinged pink.

“Slow down, Lou,” Harry said with a grin. “If you get too pissed you won’t sleep well. You want to have a peaceful first night here, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis replied, giggling slightly. “You’re right.”

He picked up his water glass, drinking it for emphasis. John came to clear their plates and five minutes later he returned with their main course.

“Tahchin.” John placed a plate in front of each of them and Louis thanked him, raising an eyebrow at Harry.

“It’s like a chicken and rice cake,” Harry told him. “Persian.”

Louis seemed to particularly enjoy the tahchin, moaning and groaning his way through the main course, falling uncharacteristically quiet.

“I need this recipe,” Louis said as he took his last few bites. 

“Louis, no offence,” Harry said with a giggle. “But you’re talking about a dish by a Michelin starred chef. I’m not sure if you could recreate it.”

“Michelin starred?” Louis asked with wide eyes. “Jesus.”

“You wanted a posh meal, didn’t you?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “God. Why did I agree to move in with you?”

“Because you love me?” Harry asked, baring his teeth in an inane grin.

Louis shook his head with a barely contained smile. “So, this meal has been pretty amazing so far. What’s for dessert?”

“How would I know?” Harry grinned.

Harry popped to the loo quickly, returning as Louis finished a third glass of wine. He smiled at Harry sheepishly.

“Well, it’s not as if I have to drive home, is it?”

“True. You working tomorrow?”

“I predicted a little bit of drinking, so Em is opening. She’s got a shift at one though, so I’ll head in for midday. What are you up to?”

“Popping by the charity for an appearance. I’ve got to sort of keep up the pretence to the public that I actively work there. In reality, a lot of professionals do their jobs much better than I could and everyone knows I spend most of my time sitting around a little Camden-based bookshop anyway.”

“And everyone knows that is because you’re dating my daughter who is a third of your age.”

Harry narrowed his eyes and smiled sarcastically. “Yes, of course.”

“Emily had this boyfriend, once,” Louis said. “She brought him over for Christmas a few years ago and we were watching this Top Of The Pops special about Christmas number ones, and you came on the screen. Emily smirked at me, of course, because to her I was just a big fan. She must not have told this lad though, because he scoffed and made a comment about how badly you had aged.”

Harry laughed, trying not to seem too offended. “Charming.”

“I tried to bite my tongue, but I went on the defensive a bit. I was always like that when it came to you.”

“Aww!” Harry grinned. “That’s sweet. Do you know what Emily said to me when I first met her?”

“No?”

“She said she wanted to tell me something embarrassing, which was that she grew up around my music because her dad was such a big fan.”

Louis laughed. “Yeah. I kept a lot from her and Ethan in that sense. They both just thought I was a fan. I feel a bit guilty, if I’m honest, that I never told Ethan the truth.”

“No need.”

“I suppose.”

“I think about it sometimes,” Harry said. “You. With Ethan and a little Em. Shushing them when I come on the TV.”

“Shut up,” Louis said, grinning as if embarrassed. “I’ll admit, I was fixated on you. I mean, how could I not be? I went through periods where I didn’t really follow what you were doing, but there were times when I’d watch everything you did, especially in that first decade. In the back of my mind, I was constantly worried about you. It was easier to pull back once you’d got better and pulled away from the spotlight for a bit. By the time Ethan died and I ended up coming back here, I read the odd thing here and there in the paper.”

“Oh, great!” Harry giggled softly.

“And when I had the opportunity to see you again, I just thought it would be nice.” Louis smiled down at the table. “I didn’t expect it to change everything.”

“What would you have done if I didn’t recognise you?”

“I don’t know!” Louis laughed. “I know what I said at the time, but it didn’t occur to me that you might not have been able to place me at all.”

“Good job I remembered.”

Louis hummed in amusement and sipped at his wine. John cleared his throat in the doorway to announce himself before walking over.

“Chocolate truffle chestnut torte.”

Harry’s mouth instantly watered. He had been looking forward to dessert for the entire meal. He picked up his fork, cutting a small chunk off and popping it into his mouth.

“Oh, Jesus,” he groaned. “It’s everything I dreamed it would be.”

Louis watched him curiously before taking a bite from his own plate. He mused for a second.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

“Not true,” Harry said in a sing-song voice before freezing as his fork hovered over his dessert. “Sorry. It’s the wine talking.”

Louis giggled quietly as he took a second bite of his torte.

After they had finished, John cleared their plates away and Harry and Louis headed into the kitchen to pay their compliments to the chef. 

“Thank you so much for coming and cooking this dinner for us, Jasper.” Harry shook his hand and clutched it in both of his. “It was truly an honour.”

“The honour is mine,” Jasper replied, cheeks rosy as he smiled back at Harry. “Thank you. I will put the leftovers in the fridge and leave reheating instructions.”

“No!” Harry said, outraged. “You and John should take some home for your families. Don’t worry about us.” Harry glanced at Louis and pouted. “Well, maybe leave us a slice each of the torte.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Jasper gushed. Louis said his thanks, too, before they made themselves scarce for Jasper to clear away his things.

They headed upstairs, into Harry’s room and out to the balcony. 

“Thank you so much for tonight,” Louis said quietly. “That was the best dinner I’ve had in a long, long time.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I can’t believe you hired a Michelin starred chef.” Louis shook his head in disbelief.

“He’s John’s brother. I mean, I could’ve employed a three starred chef, and a top notch waiter, but I thought I’d give it to Gwen’s family. The money means a lot to them. I pay Gwen quite a bit, but they’ve got three kids so they can always do with more. You know?”

“You’re so lovely,” Louis said. 

“Oh, well.” Harry sighed. “I try.”

Louis reached over and took his hand. “Hey. I’ve got an idea for how we can both get a decent night’s sleep, even though we’ve been drinking.”

Harry stifled the thoughts that came to his mind. “Oh?”

Louis smirked wickedly. “Still got some weed?”

And so they sat out on the balcony and shared a spliff before heading inside to watch a film down in the conservatory. The film couldn’t hold their attention, and so they kissed for a bit before tiptoeing into the now vacant kitchen and eating the leftover torte. They giggled as they headed back to the conservatory, Louis holding his stomach and complaining he felt sick.

“Was a lot of torte for you to handle in one night,” Harry said, giggling into the back of his hand. “Don’t throw up. Please.”

“Won’t.” Louis sighed and threw himself onto the sofa, spreading himself long and covering the entire thing. Harry rolled his eyes and lifted Louis’ legs so he could sit down, too. He dropped Louis’ legs to his lap. “You’re so pretty.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “You can’t call me pretty. That’s wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Wrong. I’m- I’m sixty-two. Too old for  _ pretty.” _

“You’re not!” Louis squeaked. “You’re sixty.  _ I’m  _ sixty-two.”

Harry giggled. “You’re right.”

“See. Not wrong.”

Harry frowned in confusion. Louis sat up and shuffled in close, throwing an arm around Harry’s shoulder and pushing his fingers into his hair. 

“You know what I think?”

“Hm?”

“I think you moved me in so you can kiss me all the time.”

“No,” Harry scoffed. “But it’s a great c- c- consequence.”

Louis seemed pleased with that. He moved in, pressing his mouth against Harry’s firmly and pushing at the back of his head. Harry’s mind was swimming, the pressure from both sides dizzying and he couldn’t focus.

Louis was kissing him slowly, as usual, sloppier if anything. It was all pleasantly familiar. Everything was the same as it always was, except for Louis’ hand on his knee. Louis’ hand, which was slowly creeping up the outside of Harry’s thigh. Harry found himself leaning into Louis’ space, somewhere in the back of his clouded mind pleading Louis’ hand to continue higher.

“Mm,” Louis hummed quietly, pulling away slightly. His hand was now stroking up and down on Harry’s thigh. “I’m gonna… fall asleep.”

“Am I that boring to kiss?”

“No. Fucking- no.” Louis kissed over Harry’s cheeks and jawline. “The opposite. But the food, and the wine, and the weed-”

“Yeah. I’m tired too.”

“Let’s go to bed.”

Louis stood and pulled Harry to his feet. They trudged sleepily up the stairs, Harry just going where he was led. Louis pulled him into his room and they stripped to their underwear, climbing into bed and Louis cuddled up behind Harry before the both of them fell asleep.

-

Harry was fucking tired. He had woken up at 3am after a couple of hours of restless sleep and returned to his own room. His mouth tasted like the bottom of a bin and every one of his joints was stiff.

He quietly padded downstairs, sleepily noting to himself that they were down to their last pint of milk, before realising Gwen had gone shopping. He was pondering whether to pour Louis a cup of tea when he heard shuffling in the doorway.

“Morning.”

Harry looked up and smiled. “Hey. Hungry?”

Louis sighed. “Yes, absolutely.”

“I’m too tired to cook. Do you want cereal? Toast? Fruit?”

“Toast would be lovely. Thanks.”

“I’ll put you some on.” Harry took two slices of bread from the pack and popped them in the toaster. “Sleep well?”

“Um…” Louis frowned. “Not great. Probably better than I was expecting, though.”

“Cool.” Harry yawned, abruptly cutting off when he heard Louis sigh with a moan.

“Harry, I’m  _ so  _ sorry for last night.”

Harry looked at Louis, wary. “About… taking me to your room?”

“No,” Louis said with a frown. “I overstepped the mark. We were kissing, and it was fine, because that’s what we agreed. But… then I touched you and I shouldn’t have, Haz. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Harry whispered. He approached Louis and ran his thumb over Louis’ forehead, trying to ease his tense expression. “Don’t frown. You’ll get lines.”

“It’s a bit late for that.”

“Oh, no, no. You don’t have frown lines, my love. You have laughter lines.” Harry smiled as he delicately ran his fingertip over Louis’ forehead. “These lines came from you raising your eyebrows in delighted surprise.”

“Yeah?” Louis whispered.

“And here,” Harry’s finger skated over the outside of Louis’ right eye. “From the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. Here, on your cheeks? When you grin widely, which I’ve never not seen you do at least once a day.”

“Alright,” Louis said with a grin and a roll of the eyes. “Enough odes to my face.”

“Lou, honestly. You don’t need to worry about last night. If I didn’t like you touching me, I would’ve batted you away. I’d really like you to relax in this house, you know? Not second guess everything you do. That includes being around me.” Harry grinned softly. “I’ll tell you if you do anything that makes me uncomfortable. I promise. And you’ll do the same with me, yeah?”

“Yeah?” Louis sighed in relief. “Thanks, Harry.”

Harry pinched his cheek and went back to making breakfast.

-

Within a month, Harry signed the partnership papers and he and Louis were officially in business together.

They celebrated with a glass of (very expensive) champagne and a few kisses. It was an exciting day. Harry’s first order of business was getting a newer, better coffee machine. His excuse was that it would be cheaper to run, but Louis wasn’t convinced.

Still, Louis kept to his word and let Harry get on with it. Harry made some other superficial changes in the shop - new, mahogany bookcases and a more comfortable chair for the counter - and Louis found himself with the money to pay off the debts the shop racked up and some to save for any incidentals that might come up. Not that Harry would let him pay for something like that, if he could help it.

Harry came home one day to find Louis curled up on the sofa under a blanket, smiling peacefully as he slept. It was a sight for sore eyes, especially after a long day in the studio. He had finally started to record his new album and it had been harder than he expected. His voice just wouldn’t do what he wanted it to do, and he felt very strained and stressed.

Louis stirred as Harry quietly sat in an armchair.

“Mm, hiya,” Louis rasped sleepily. “Good day?”

“No,” Harry said grumpily. “Sorry I woke you.”

“That’s okay. Oh, hey. Is it okay if Emily comes for dinner on Tuesday?”

Harry giggled softly. “Ah, Tuesdays. We should make it a weekly dinner date with her, I think. Keep up the tradition. Of course it’s okay.”

“Cool, cheers. She wants to give the pool a go, too.”

Louis sat up and Harry immediately moved to his side. His entire journey home he had been looking forward to a cuddle. 

“George said the shop was kind of busy, today,” Louis offered. “Maybe the news got out that you’re part owner.”

“Mm, maybe.” Harry kissed the top of Louis’ head. “You had any dinner?”

Harry threw together a half-arsed spaghetti bolognaise and they ate together quietly. Eating a meal with Louis felt different, now. It was calm, domestic. Having Louis round was always an event for Harry, but now Louis  _ lived  _ here. It was the norm.

Harry smiled to himself, and Louis caught him.

“Um,” Harry said nonchalantly. “What should we have for dinner on Tuesday, then? You’ll have to tell me what kind of thing Emily likes.”

“I’ll have a think. I feel bad that you always cook, you know. I’d love to help.”

“You can help. I can teach you stuff.”

They discussed possible dishes and desserts, and Harry told Louis about his day in the studio. 

“Got all your songs together, then?”

“Um, yeah. I think I’ve got most of them. I’ve pulled a few songs from my arse that I wrote a decade ago, too.”

“Nice!” Louis laughed. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

-

“I know how to peel potatoes, Harry. I’m not  _ that _ stupid.”

“No one said you were, you’re just cutting a bit too much away. Why don’t you use the potato peeler instead of a knife?”

“This is how I’m used to doing it.”

Harry smirked. “Alright, love, but at this rate the potatoes are gonna end up the size of peas.”

“Fine, sorry!” Louis sighed, frowning as he concentrated. “I think I’m gonna go to a book fair tomorrow. You sure you don’t mind me storing my books in the hall cupboard?”

“Overflow stock from  _ our _ bookshop?” Harry grinned. “No. I don’t mind at all.”

“Thanks.”

“I really think we ought to look into doing that car boot sale I mentioned a while back. Set up a stall with as many books as we can, take the laptop and put a sign up that says that people can ask us for specific titles. If we don’t have it with us, we could take it the next time, or people could pick it up from the shop.”

Louis raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Alright. We’ll look into it.”

“It’ll get our brand out there a bit, you know?”

“Yes. I know.”

“And I want to get the website fully functioning.”

“Haz, I am trying to cook my one and only daughter a gorgeous meal. Can we talk about this another time?”

Harry laughed, dipping his fingers into the bowl of potatoes and pulling one out.

“Louis, this potato is the size of my eyeball.”

“Maybe you should grow bigger eyeballs.”

“What?” Harry giggled as the doorbell rang. “Answer the door to your one and only daughter, then.”

Harry continued to giggle to himself as Louis trotted off. He put Louis’ potatoes on to boil and threw the peels into the food waste bin. 

“Hi, Harry.” 

“Hi, Em.”

“I brought a cherry pie.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, impressed. “That’s very nice. Your father never used to bring anything to dinner, you know.”

“Neither did you!” Louis protested.

“You would’ve shouted at me.” Harry pouted.

“This man,” Louis said, pointing at Harry. “Is extremely manipulative.”

“Excuse me? I-”

“Can you two stop?” Emily sighed. “It’s been a long day and you two stress me out when you… bicker, or whatever.”

Harry and Louis glanced at each other guiltily. 

“God, you really sound like a teacher.”

“Well, I’m not one anymore.” Emily sighed.

“Sorry, Em,” Harry said. “We were only messing.”

Emily had been to Harry’s before, of course, but Louis took her off on a proper tour while Harry concentrated on dinner. They reconvened once Harry started to dish up, and they sat in the dining room to eat.

“I only really use this room on special occasions,” Harry told Emily. “But I think Louis likes it for some reason.”

“Your kitchen table is kind of small.”

“I suppose.”

“Harry, this house is incredible. I love the game room. Dad tells me you have Australian Monopoly!”

“It’s got, like, every version. It’s got Lagos. Taipei.” Harry glanced at Louis. “It’s even got a Leeds edition.”

“No way!” Louis laughed.

“The basement is…” Emily exhaled loudly. “The pool is amazing. And a sauna?”

“Did you bring swim stuff with you?”

“Um… actually, I did.”

“Okay, well, after dinner we can go down and try it all out. Sound good?”

“We have to wait thirty minutes,” Louis pointed out. “I’m not having my daughter drowning in your pool just because she swam too soon after she ate.”

“That’s a myth, Lou. But we’ll have to wait for the pool to heat up, anyway. Let me go and turn it on now.”

When he returned, they finished their dinner and everybody went to get changed. Harry felt especially podgy on a full stomach, and so he slipped a t-shirt over his head. He felt a bit silly, really. When he got into the basement, Louis was behind the bar in his swim shorts, looking as trim as ever as he poured Emily a drink. Emily was in a swimsuit, hair tied back in a ponytail.

“God, you look like you’re about to swim in the Olympics.”

Emily turned around to look at Harry before laughing.

“Well, I’m quite a keen swimmer. And I’m not exactly a bikini kind of person.”

“Mm. Me neither.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he popped the top off of a beer and took a swig.

“Emily wants to give the sauna a go first.”

“Oh, sure,” Harry said. He headed behind the bar to the control panel and switched on the sauna. “It won’t take too long. I’m gonna get into the pool.”

“Don’t swim!” Louis called after him as he walked off.

Harry carefully slipped into the water, sighing in relief as the warmth encompassed him. He paddled gently and watched Louis and Emily. They drank and chattered, the echo of the basement too much for him to hear what they were saying. He closed his eyes, drifting off until he heard the gentle splash of somebody entering the water.

“Ooh, gosh, it’s warm in here.”

Harry opened his eyes and looked up at Louis cutting through the water towards him. “Yeah, it’s so nice.”

Louis came to a stop next to Harry and propped his elbow on the edge of the pool. Harry turned his body towards him.

“Thanks for dinner,” Louis said. “I love a good roast. Don’t tell any of my relatives, but that was probably even better than my mum’s.”

“Yeah?”

Louis glanced over to the sauna. Emily had disappeared into the room and the glass door was completely steamed up. Louis leaned in to kiss Harry.

“You’re getting a bit brave,” Harry said when Louis pulled away.

“She can’t see. I had to kiss you.”

Harry smiled. “Do you not feel guilty keeping it from her?”

“The fact that we kiss sometimes? Nah. I’m not sure she’d even want to know. Besides, she’d never understand.”

“Yeah.” Harry shrugged. “She’ll just start calling me Dad again, and I really don’t want that.”

Louis giggled as he leaned in to kiss Harry again. Harry pushed him away before Louis could slip his tongue into Harry’s mouth.

“Let’s not push our luck.”

Louis pulled a face at him before starting to paddle around the end of the pool. Emily emerged shortly after, splashing into the other end of the pool before swimming towards Harry and Louis. 

“Ugh, thank you, Harry.” Emily sighed. “I feel great.”

“You’re welcome to come over any time to use any of it. This is your dad’s house too, now.”

“Thank you.”

Emily swam a couple of lengths before letting Harry and Louis know she was going to head home.

“Oh, shall I see you out?” Louis made to get out.

“No, no. You guys stay here. No need for you to get out and get all cold.”

“Alright,” Louis said. “I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”

Emily said her goodbyes and with a sigh, Louis turned to Harry.

“She’s starting her bookkeeping course. Distance learning.”

“That’s so cool.”

“She’ll be working for us in no time. And she’ll be nicely prepared to take over the shop once I retire.” Louis looked at Harry and widened his eyes. “I mean, um. My half of it.”

Harry smirked. “Mm.”

Louis let go of the edge of the pool and let himself drift away slightly. Harry leaned back, both elbows propping him up and he looked up at the ceiling. He absently thought that it could do with a lick of paint.

“What’s Ed up to these days?” Louis asked.

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Not much. Songwriting. I’ve got a couple of songs I’m recording that are from him. He’s trying to stick to his guns and not tour his last album. He’s tempted by the money, but he doesn’t think he could handle it. He’s constantly afraid of breaking his sobriety.”

“Can’t be easy.”

Harry sighed. “Well, I know how he feels. I’m not that worried now, of course, but on my last tour I was terrified I was gonna somehow fall off the wagon. And there’s always people who want to get you addicted again. They come after you. I don’t think I let Liam leave my side at all for that tour.”

“And you’re not worried now?”

“No.” Harry shrugged. “I have no desire for it. Someone could wave a little bag of coke under my nose and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid.”

“I’m proud of you. It got scary sometimes, you know.”

“I know.” Harry nodded as Louis drifted closer. “I was scared, too. But a life of excess is behind me.”

“I don’t know. I think having a pool, and a sauna, and a game room - including a Monopoly table with every conceivable version preloaded - and six bedrooms when you live alone is pretty excessive.”

“I don’t live alone anymore, do I?”

“True.”

Louis placed his hands on the edge, either side of Harry. He leaned in and kissed him as he bobbed in the water, gently bumping into Harry. Harry pressed his hand to Louis’ back to help keep him steady and Louis slipped his tongue into Harry’s mouth.

Louis still tasted very slightly like beer, but Harry didn’t mind. Their tongues moved together languidly, casually, as was delightfully familiar to Harry. Louis’ tongue started to press firmer, his hands grabbing either side of Harry’s head. Harry was slightly taken aback as a glint of desperation showed through Louis’ actions. Louis felt eager, and Harry wasn’t put out in the slightest. In fact, he found it rather delicious, the way Louis was hotly licking into his mouth, his breath quick and laboured against his own face.

Louis hummed a quiet noise against Harry’s mouth and before he had time to dwell on it, Louis grew closer, bumping against Harry’s body and-

Something solid pressed against Harry’s hip.

Harry grabbed Louis’ shoulders, pushing him back just enough to break their kiss. Louis swallowed, panting as he looked at Harry.

“Um, Lou.” Harry cleared his throat. “You’ve, um… you’re…”

It dawned on Louis as Harry was stammering and he groaned loudly, letting himself drift away from Harry.

“Fuck, I- I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m gonna-”

“No.” Harry surged forward and grabbed Louis’ hips, pulling him back. “No. Don’t.”

Louis stared at Harry warily, his lips parting as if he was going to speak, but he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Harry said quietly. He pulled Louis in for a kiss, pecking at his mouth. “It’s okay.”

“Really?” Louis asked, slightly breathless as Harry continued to peck at his mouth.

“Yeah.” Harry squeezed Louis’ hips. “I’d probably be the same, if it wasn’t… broken.”

Louis frowned curiously but quickly recovered. He pressed closer to Harry and tentatively kissed him. The atmosphere had shifted and it was charged with something Harry couldn’t quite put his finger on. Louis rolled his hips against Harry’s experimentally and a moan bubbled out of Harry’s throat, catching him by surprise. 

“Louis?” Harry whispered.

Louis sighed, pulling his mouth away before moving out of Harry’s grasp.

“Fuck,” Louis said, retreating. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to- I’ll see you later.”

Before Harry managed to kick himself into gear and make his way out of the pool, Louis had wrapped a towel around himself and already disappeared up the stairs. 

Harry didn’t feel like swimming anymore. He sighed, his heart heavy as he climbed out of the pool. He felt in a strange sort of limbo as he towelled off, padded up the stairs, headed to his room. He showered, staring at the wall and trying to engage his confused mind.

He dressed in sweats and headed back downstairs to make himself a cup of tea. As he poured the boiled water into the teapot, a noise behind him made him spin around.

Louis was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, smiling shyly.

“Sorry, Haz.”

Harry smiled softly and tilted his head to gesture Louis over. “What exactly are you sorry about?”

“Me.” Louis sighed as he walked towards Harry, keeping a safe distance as he stopped by the kitchen table. “Crossing boundaries, again.”

“Louis.” Harry walked towards him, closing the space between them. “You need to stop apologising for everything.”

“I just worry that I’m going to ruin things between us.”

Harry reached out and took Louis’ hand. “I pulled you back to me, Lou. You have nothing to be sorry for. You weren’t crossing a boundary, you were testing it. That’s all.”

“Suppose.”

Harry grinned and slipped his hands around Louis’ waist. “Where would you be if you didn’t take risks with boundaries, hm? You wouldn’t have snuck backstage and met me.”

“True. That was a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” Harry pulled Louis close and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I tell you what, though. You’re not as bold as you used to be.”

Louis laughed softly. “You reckon?”

“You don’t need to be so cautious with me, my love.” Harry kissed him on the cheek. “What do you want?”

Louis closed his eyes as Harry kissed his mouth, warm and reassuring. Harry’s heart was beating out of his chest and he could barely comprehend the situation. Still he pulled Louis closer yet, and encouraged him as best he could with his lips and tongue. Louis pressed against him, inhaling sharply.

“I- I don’t know.”

“Are you attracted to me?” Harry asked.

Louis sighed and nodded. “Of course I am.”

Harry kissed him yet again, pressing so firmly against him that Louis took a step backwards. Harry moved his mouth to behind Louis’ ear, kissing the hot skin.

“You been thinking about me?”

Louis groaned and buried his face in Harry’s shoulder. “Harry.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Harry squeezed Louis’ waist and pushed him gently back against the wall. “I’ve thought about you, too.”

“Yeah?” Louis whispered as Harry kissed him softly on the neck. “What happened to just being friends and not wanting anything like that?”

“But it’s  _ you,”  _ Harry murmured against Louis’ skin. “It’s different when it’s a reality, presented in front of you.”

Louis slipped his fingers into the hair at the back of Harry’s neck and tugged slightly as he sighed. “What are you saying?”

Harry kissed him, pressing his hips against Louis’ and wishing his stupid broken dick could tell Louis exactly how he felt, what he wanted. He let out a quiet moan as he rutted his hips again.

“What do you want?” Harry said again with a whisper. “I can- I can take a pill, if you want...”

“That’s okay. Should we… go upstairs?”

Part of Harry felt like a teenager again, clutching at Louis’ hand and leading him up the stairs. On the other hand, the deep-set tiredness and anxiety reminded him of his true age. He felt too old to court and he hoped that Louis would make this easy. Louis felt to be unsure and hesitant so Harry wasn’t holding his breath.

Once they were in Harry’s room they kissed again, Harry trying to take the lead by slipping his hands under the hem of Louis’ t-shirt and running his fingers over his skin.

“Take it off,” Louis said quietly.

Harry pulled Louis’ t-shirt up and over his head. He threw it on the ground and stared at Louis’ bare torso, before walking over to his window and shutting the blinds.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked.

“Uh-” Harry started awkwardly as he turned around to face Louis. “My body’s not exactly what it used to be. I could use the help from the shadows.”

“Oh, stop it.” Louis approached and kissed him. “You’re gorgeous.”

“You sure I shouldn’t go and take a pill?”

“Well, I was hoping I could-” Louis sighed. “I wanna… be inside you.”

Harry choked on a breath. “Oh. Um. Okay.”

“That sound alright?”

Harry nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

Louis smiled and took a deep breath. He pulled Harry’s t-shirt up, discarding it and running his hands appreciatively over his chest. He slid them down and pushed his fingers into the back of Harry’s joggers and squeezed his fingertips into the flesh of Harry’s bum. Harry let out a broken moan as he dropped his forehead to Louis’ shoulder.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “It’s been a long time, Lou.”

“Me too, darling,” Louis whispered. “We’re in this together, alright?”

Harry nodded and slowly, Louis pushed Harry’s joggers down. They fell to the floor with a dull thud and Harry felt immediately self-conscious. If he wasn’t insecure enough about his weight or shape, he hated the fact his dick hung soft and flaccid whilst he could see the telltale bump in Louis’ own joggers.

“Hey.” Louis pulled him close and kissed him, hands skating over his body eagerly. He ran the pads of his thumbs over Harry’s nipples and Harry cried out. “You’re beautiful, and I’m gonna fuck you.”

Harry ran his sweaty palms down Louis’ body and pushed his joggers down. He stared at the foreign, yet distantly familiar dick, hard and ready, and Harry felt a surge of arousal bigger than he had felt in years.

He pulled Louis towards his bed, before he sat down and shuffled up to the headboard.

“Do you have any stuff?” Louis asked.

“Lube in my sock drawer, over there.” Harry pointed. “Um- shit. I don’t have condoms. Fuck, fuck. Sorry, Lou. I don’t exactly expect to…”

“Are you clean?”

“I haven’t had sex in like, four years or something. My doctor… he always insisted on regular tests…”

_ “Are you clean?” _ Louis said again.

“Yeah…”

“Me, too. If you believe me.”

“Yes, yes. Of course I do,” Harry said.

“Good.” Louis turned to rummage through Harry’s sock drawer and Harry gasped. Louis had a little tattoo on his left arse cheek and Harry reached out to run his thumb over it.

“Louis, this… is this a…” Harry paused and let out a disbelieving laugh. “Is this a fucking  _ penguin?” _

“Yeah.” Louis located the nicely concealed bottle of lube and turned to face Harry. “I got it once when I was really fucking drunk.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “And whose idea was a penguin?”

“Mine.”

“Do you not remember?” Harry asked. “Penguin?”

“What  _ are _ you talking about?” Louis asked, confused as he popped the cap of the lube.

“We used it as a safeword for years, Louis.”

Louis froze with the bottle of lube tilted and let out a cackle. “Oh my God. I must’ve had that somewhere in my mind when I got it.”

Harry kissed him. “Well, I love it, either way.”

Harry watched Louis as he giggled softly and drizzled lube onto his fingers. Harry felt awestruck. It was almost like he had been transported way, way back and it was overwhelming. Louis, sitting on a bed with a lube-coated hand, his lean chest rising and falling with every laboured breath… it was familiar to Harry in a way he had never expected.

“It is so very lovely to see you naked again,” Harry said as Louis shuffled into place.

“You too.” Louis smiled softly before pulling Harry’s legs apart, earning a yelp from him. “Sorry!”

“It’s alright,” Harry laughed breathlessly. “But I have to tell you I get a sore right hip. So don’t be too rough with me.”

Louis knelt between Harry’s legs and leaned down to kiss him. “Not what you used to say.”

Harry scoffed quietly. “That would be before you damaged my hip.”

Louis squawked in indignation. “I did not! Did I?”

“Dunno. Odds are that it’s your fault.”

Louis laughed and used his clean hand to push away the curls that were starting to stick to Harry’s sweaty forehead. Something stirred in Harry’s chest at the sweet gesture and he couldn’t help but smile. Louis slowly pushed the middle fingers of his other hand between Harry’s arse cheeks and stroked over his hole.

“Oh,” Harry moaned in surprise. “Christ.”

“That okay?”

“Uh, yes.”

Harry tried to force himself to relax. He hadn’t been fucked in a fairly long time and it was a bit of a surprise to the system. Louis pressed in further and Harry moaned pitifully against his hot, loving mouth. The arousal felt so new and intense that if Harry had been hard, he was sure he would come any minute. 

Louis was gentle and indulgent as he opened Harry up, stroking languidly and making sure Harry was alright. Harry was more than alright. He was on the top of the world, more than he had ever been before.

“Please,” Harry choked out once Louis had three fingers inside of him. “I’m ready.”

“You sure, darling?”

“Want you inside of me, so badly.”

Louis’ breath audibly hitched and he slowly pulled his fingers out of Harry. Harry was desperate by now, shaking as he tried to hold his legs apart without hurting his stupid hip.

Louis slicked up his cock and swallowed as he lined up with Harry’s hole. Harry took a deep breath, staring up at Louis. He winced as Louis’ tip breached his rim.

“Sorry,” Louis whispered.

“It’s okay. Keep going. But go slow?”

Louis frowned in concentration as he continued to push in. Harry clung onto his shoulders, taking deep breaths to relax himself. When Louis bottomed out, he asked Harry again if he was okay.

“Please move,” Harry said, strained. 

Harry had started to think he would never have sex again, and he had made his peace with it. He had convinced himself he didn’t need it, not at his age. But now, now he didn’t know how he had gone years without it.

“Fuck,” he whined as Louis started to move slowly. He ran his hands down Louis’ back to dig his fingers into the flesh of his arse, feeling it tense and relax as Louis moved in and out of him.

Harry looked up at Louis’ face. He wore an expression that Harry hadn’t seen on him in forty years. He leaned down to kiss Harry just as Harry gasped, before wincing.

“Fucking hip,” he muttered.

“Oh, darling,” Louis said, panting. “Shall we change position?”

“Uh… yeah.”

Louis carefully pulled out and laid on his side next to Harry.

“Spoon?”

Harry turned his back to Louis and shuffled backwards. Louis pushed back into him and Harry arched back.

Louis ground into Harry, slow and deep. He placed a hand on Harry’s stomach and Harry clung to it.

“Harry?” Louis whispered in his ear, panting.

“Mm?”

“I love you.”

Harry let out a strained whine as Louis thrust deeper.  _ “Oh, _ I love you too.”

Louis began to speed up, likely chasing his building orgasm. Harry groaned, the new pace deeply satisfying to him and, as he looked down at their clasped hands, he let out a squeak of delight.

“Lou. Lou!”

“You okay, baby?”

“Look,” he croaked with a slight laugh. “I’m half hard.”

“Oh!” Louis replied. “Looks great, darling.”

Harry arched his back and pushed against every thrust of Louis’ hips. Louis’ breath quickened, hitching in a way that was deeply familiar to Harry. He slammed back as hard as he could into Louis until he felt him pulsing, moaning loudly as he came inside Harry, gripping tightly onto his hand.

“Fuck,  _ fuck,”  _ Louis whined. “So sexy, Harry.”

Harry scoffed softly and brought Louis’ hand up to his lips. He kissed it all over until Louis started to giggle. Harry released him, and Louis slowly pulled out. Harry turned over to face him and kissed him. 

It was like nothing else. They had had sex probably a hundred times before, but this was different. They were older. They knew who they were. They both knew what this meant to one another. It was, by far, the most special time.

“What now?” Louis whispered.

“I’m… sleepy.”

Louis chuckled. “Alright. Do you want me to stay? I can go back to my own room…”

“No. Stay.”

-

Louis was nowhere to be found in the morning when Harry woke up, so he headed downstairs. The kitchen was spotless, Louis’ mug sitting in the cupboard where Harry had put it yesterday. He had to be in his room.

Harry made himself a cup of tea and curled up on the sofa in the conservatory. Fifteen minutes later, he heard a shuffling behind him. He turned to see Louis walking in, blanket wrapped around his shoulders and hair sticking up in all directions.

“Hey.” Louis threw himself down on the sofa next to Harry. He linked his arm in Harry’s and rested his head on his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah,” Louis rasped. “Sorry about earlier. Your room was so hot, I had to go back to mine for a bit.”

“Oh. That’s alright, love.”

“I was with you for most of the night. Promise.”

Harry kissed the top of Louis’ head before holding his mug out to him. “Want some tea?”

Louis finished Harry’s tea before heading into the kitchen to make them both some more tea and toast. He had discarded his blanket, so Harry wrapped it around himself.

“So,” Harry said, following him into the kitchen.

“So,” Louis repeated, switching the kettle on and turning to face Harry. “What now? Where do we go from here?”

“Well.” Harry sighed, sitting at the table. Louis sat down opposite him. “We could go back to before. Mates who snog.”

Louis giggled. “We could. Or… friends with benefits.”

“Ha!” Harry scoffed. “Wrinklies with benefits.”

“Shut up.” Louis laughed. “Or… we could…”

“Get married?”

“Shut up!” Louis said again, stupid grin on his face. “Call me crazy, but what about if we just… do what we want, and see how it goes?”

-

**Harry Styles looks as happy as ever as he grabs coffee in Camden**

**\---**

It wasn’t until Saturday night, when Harry returned from a charity dinner, that he felt Louis’ hands on him again.

“Well, don’t you look gorgeous,” Louis said as he slipped Harry’s suit jacket from his shoulders and hung it on the end of the banister. “Have fun?”

“No,” Harry scoffed, smiling to himself as Louis started to loosen his tie for him. “How was your day?”

Louis tried, and failed, to stifle a smile. “Oh, it was fine. Sorted out some of the books I have upstairs. Thought about you.”

“Oh did you?” Harry smirked. “That explains the fact that you started to undress me the moment I walked in the door.”

“Well. I think…” Louis unbuttoned Harry’s shirt with surprising speed and slipped his hands around his waist. “You have opened my floodgates.”

Harry threw his head back and cackled. “Oh, is that so?”

“I’ve been thinking about it  _ all _ day,” Louis said quietly. “Why don’t you, um, come into the kitchen?”

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Sure. Okay.”

Louis led Harry into the kitchen, grin plastered all over his face.

“So, I’ve been thinking.” Louis opened the medicine drawer, pulled out a blister pack and twirled it between his fingers. The little blue pills caught Harry’s eye and he began to smirk. 

“Well,” Harry said, folding his arms. “Someone seems eager to bottom.”

“Excuse me?!” Louis said, trying to sound outraged but a grin peeking through. “I used to let you fuck me  _ all the time.” _

“I know.” Harry dropped his arms and approached Louis. “And you loved it.”

“Mm.” Louis slipped his arms around Harry’s neck. “I loved everything with you. Everything.”

Harry leaned in to kiss him softly. “Everything?”

“And I’d do it all again. Although I don’t think I’m physically capable of some of it.”

Harry giggled. He shrugged and snatched the blister pack of pills from Louis’ hand.

“Will you get me a glass of water, love?”

Louis nodded eagerly as he hurried to the sink. He quickly handed Harry a mug of water and watched as Harry swallowed a little blue pill.

“Nice,” Louis said quietly as he rubbed his hands together in a gesture that excited Harry somewhat. “So, what now? Is it gonna just, like… pop up? Do I need to rub it?”

Harry cackled in surprise. “That’s not… It just enables me to get hard in the usual way.”

“Oh,” Louis said, tilting his head and staring at Harry’s crotch curiously.

“Alright, you don’t need to sound disappointed. What were you expecting, magic?”

“I- I don’t know. I didn’t know how Viagra works.” He stepped closer and began to unfasten Harry’s trousers. “I’d like to see.”

“Well, I suppose you’re going to.” Harry grabbed hold of Louis’ wrists just as he pulled open Harry’s trousers. “Let’s take this upstairs. I’d never forgive myself if Gwen came in, and anyway, this pill’s not gonna do anything just yet.”

Louis took Harry’s hand and led him towards the stairs. “There’s not really any room for spontaneity at our age, is there?”

“Nope.” Harry giggled softly. “But we did enough of all that in our youth.”

“That’s alright. I’m getting used to the slower pace of life.”

They reached the landing and Harry squeezed Louis’ hand. “Mine or yours?”

“Better use your room,” Louis mused. “I haven’t owned any lube in years.”

Harry pulled Louis towards his room, looking over his shoulder and cocking an eyebrow. “Years?”

“No! What use have I had for lube?”

“What about masturbation? You can’t have done less of that than me the past few years.”

“Well,” Louis said as he broke his hand away from Harry’s to close the door behind them. “It’s been awhile since it was enough of an event for me to use lube, to be honest.”

“I see. Interesting.” Harry took his shirt off and draped it on a chair. “You’d better come here, then.”

Louis walked over and placed his hands on Harry’s collarbones, slowly running them down his chest. Harry gasped as they caught on his nipples. 

“Is it stupid that I’m a bit nervous?” Harry asked quietly as he teased his fingers at the waistband of Louis’ joggers. “I know you’ll tell me it’s not stupid, but I know it is.”

“Oh, shut up,” Louis said soothingly. “Of course it’s not stupid. But you really don’t need to worry with me. You know that. We’re old men, it’s not gonna be perfect, but that’s alright.”

Harry hummed and pushed his fingers past Louis’ waistband. Louis inhaled sharply and grinned.

“So…” Harry said, licking his lips. “You gonna sit on your throne tonight, King Louis?”

Louis frowned in confusion for a couple of seconds before he realised what Harry was referencing. He started to giggle, dropping his head to Harry’s shoulder.

“Fuck, you were embarrassing when you were in your twenties.”

“Hey,” Harry complained. “At least I didn’t drunkenly get our safeword tattooed on my arse.”

Louis shook his head and thumbed over Harry’s nipple, making him gasp again. “Well, it’ll serve as a good reminder just in case you forget. You know, in your old age.”

“Watch your step, you.” Harry giggled and pushed his hand even further into Louis’ joggers and cupped. He could feel Louis starting to stiffen in his hand and he felt a slight stirring in his own cock. He pushed Louis’ joggers and underwear down and the clothing thudded softly as it hit the floor. 

“Do you really want me to ride you?” Louis asked as Harry pulled him close, their bodies bumping each other.

“I mean, I was joking. But… it would be incredible.”

“Hmm.” Louis pulled off his t-shirt. “You know what? I think I can handle that.”

Harry felt a definite twitch in his boxers and his face brightened. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis replied as he tugged Harry’s trousers down. “What, you don’t think I’m fit enough?”

“Oh, I think you’re very fit.”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Get on the bed.”

Harry did as he was told and he hurried to the bed, laying flat and wriggling around to get comfortable. Louis bent down to rid himself of his socks before climbing on the bed and straddling Harry.

Harry arched his hips into the contact. Not long ago, he had genuinely thought that his sex life was finished for good, and now he had the man who was probably the love of his life sitting on him, arse nestled against his half hard cock.

God, he was half hard. Louis rocked slightly and Harry felt the crack of Louis’ bum roll over his still-clothed cock and he groaned, arousal shooting through his body. 

“Mm, Lou,” Harry murmured, rubbing his hands on Louis’ thighs. Louis was half hard too, and Harry ran his thumb over the underside of Louis’ cock. “Can’t wait to be inside you, darling.”

Louis moaned in agreement and rocked again. “Fuck. It’s kicking in, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hips and kept him moving. “Need the lube.”

“I’ll get it.”

Louis climbed off of Harry and quickly rifled through Harry’s sock drawer. He dropped the lube to the bed and by the time he climbed back on, Harry had a palmful of lube and was rubbing his hands together. Louis looked at him curiously and swiped a finger across his palm.

“Bit excessive,” Louis remarked, taking his lubed fingertip and grazing it over Harry’s nipple.

“Fuck,” Harry muttered and wrapped a slick hand around Louis’ cock. “How’s this?”

Louis bit into his bottom lip and let out a strangled moan. “Ah, it’s good.”

Harry stared up at Louis as he twisted his fist over Louis’ cock, now fully hard in his grip. Louis rocked back and forth, indulging himself with a smile on his face.

“I need to open you up,” Harry said.

“Ugh, don’t stop,” Louis replied, bucking into Harry’s hand for emphasis. “Feels so fucking good.”

“You can’t come from a handjob.” Harry slowed his hand to a stop. “Not today.”

Louis let out a loud, petulant whine. “Harry!”

“Not  _ today,  _ Louis. Wait until I’m inside you.”

Louis looked almost angry, but then his face twisted and he looked like he may burst into tears. He finally relented. He rolled off of Harry and laid next to him, and Harry turned onto his side. He shuffled closer and kissed Louis before slipping his middle finger between Louis’ bum cheeks and pressing the tip against his hole.

“Ah, shit!” Louis cried out. “Be quick, Harry.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can. My arthritis…” Harry trailed off and pushed his fingertip firmer against Louis’ rim. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ mouth. “I love you.”

Louis threw an arm clumsily across Harry’s back and pulled him close. “I love you, too.”

They panted together as Harry fingered Louis open, wriggling closer and closer until their hard cocks knocked into each other over and over again, the thin barrier of Harry’s boxers between them. Louis grew impatient by the time Harry pushed a third finger in and started to try and tug Harry’s boxers off.

“I’m ready. Come on, I’m ready, Harry.”

“You sure?”

“Please.”

“Alright.” 

Harry slid his fingers out from Louis, wiped them on the sheet and flipped Louis onto his front. Something overtook him and he straddled Louis, quickly drizzling a little lube onto his cock and started to push into Louis. Louis whined quietly as Harry very swiftly bottomed out and pressed his body down onto his. 

“Fucking Christ,” Louis panted. “I forgot how big this thing is.”

“So did I.” Harry started to move his hips. “Is it okay? Does it hurt?”

“It… I… it’s alright. It feels great.”

“If I hurt you…” Harry started to move his hips with more intent, pulling back before slamming in again. “Tell me.”

“I’ll penguin.”

Harry let out a choked, surprised laugh, and his hips stuttered. He resumed his pace, but it wasn’t long until he started to feel twinges of pain in his hip and he pulled out of Louis and collapsed on the bed.

“Alright?” Louis panted. 

“Sorry, it hurts.”

“It’s okay, baby.” Louis swung a leg over Harry’s hips and sat back, Harry’s hard cock sitting against his arse. “It’s time for me to ascend my throne.”

“You’re right,” Harry said, weakly bucking his hips. “That  _ is _ embarrassing.”

“Hm.” Louis reached behind and held Harry’s cock in place. He lined it up with his hole and slowly pushed down onto it. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

“Think it’ll be okay like this.”

Louis started to move on Harry’s cock. He lifted himself up and slammed back down, and Harry admired his strength. Nothing had satisfied Harry like this in years, the way Louis bounced on his cock as if he was twenty years old again, the way his hole clenched around Harry. It was all as delicious as it had been all those years ago and Harry vowed to himself that he would try and do this until the day he physically could no longer.

Harry bit down on his bottom lip, so hard he wondered if it would bleed. He grabbed hold of Louis’ narrow hips, stretching both his thumbs inwards to stroke over the scarce hair around Louis’ cock, which was bouncing stiffly with every movement. Harry slid his right hand around and ran his fingertips over Louis’ hole, feeling himself slide in and out wetly. His own hips stuttered and he felt like he was about to lose his mind. 

His hip had started to hurt again, but he was so close. _ It would be worth it,  _ he told himself. When his orgasm started to build, he started to tremble and some crazy thought in the back of his mind told him that when it was his time to go, he would probably die fucking Louis.

As romantic as it was, it probably wouldn’t be pleasant for Louis, so Harry put those thoughts to the back of his mind and became hyper-focused on the matter in hand. Louis was bouncing harder than ever now, and Harry covered his face with his left hand and wrapped his right one around Louis’ cock. Louis let out an almighty, guttural moan and threw his head back. Harry suddenly cried out, his orgasm taking him by surprise as he throbbed inside of Louis, filling him up.

“Oh,  _ God. _ Shit, Harry.” Louis swallowed before clenching his eyes shut and rocking back and forth on Harry’s sensitive cock. “Perfect, you’re perfect. Need to come.”

Harry ignored a building pain in his wrist and twisted his fist as efficiently as he could. Louis furrowed his brow and bit his lip, grunting and moaning until he gasped, coming hotly over both of their stomachs. He slumped and held himself up with his palms on Harry’s chest as he caught his breath.

“Oh Harry. Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Harry’s eyes slipped closed before he could help it. His cock sat, softening and sensitive inside of Louis, and part of him wished he could stay there forever. Louis eventually climbed off of him, the warmth of his body disappearing and Harry’s cock flopped onto his hip. His hip that was screaming in pain. 

It was still worth it.

-

Harry woke to a gentle thumping sound and when he opened his eyes, Louis was frozen by the door and his phone was on the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Louis was dressed and looked freshly showered and styled. Harry rubbed his eyes, confused.

“What time is it? Are you up early?”

“It’s half nine, love. You’ve been asleep, like, over ten hours.”

“Oh.” Harry pulled himself up to a seating position. His hip protested, ached as he crossed his legs. “I think you wore me out completely, Lou.”

Louis just grinned as if he wasn’t sorry in the slightest. “Cup of tea?”

Louis returned a few minutes later with tea for the both of them and he slid back into bed next to Harry.

“Last night was incredible.”

Harry nodded in agreement. “It was lovely. Thank you.”

Louis scoffed. “Thank  _ you.” _

Harry’s mug of tea felt heavy in his hand. His wrist and fingers were stiff from their activities and Harry rolled his eyes. He really was getting old.

“What are you up to today, then?” he asked.

“Oh, this and that.” Louis kissed him on the shoulder. “Going to try to book a slot at a car boot sale.”

“Yes!” Harry laughed triumphantly. “Oh, will you please let me come? Please?”

Louis raised his eyebrows testily. “Harry. Alright, look. I’ll think about it.”

“It’s my business, too. You may be above cheap tactics, but I’m not.”

“Oh, shut up,” Louis replied lightly.

“You know we’ll sell a lot if I’m there, though, and we do have too many books.”

“Yeah. I know.” Louis sighed. “Alright, you can come.”

“Yay!”

As pathetic as Harry felt, he needed Louis’ assistance to get out of bed and he took a shower before Louis helped him downstairs. He set about making the dinner for that night, seeing as Louis refused to let him do any gardening or run any errands. 

“Will you be alright on your own?” Louis asked, concerned. “Should we be calling your doctor?”

“Louis,” Harry started impatiently. “You bounced on my dick last night. Relentlessly. I’m just a bit sore, love. I just need a bit of rest, I’ll be alright by tomorrow.”

Louis kissed him on the cheek and set off to do his bits and bobs and Harry turned his attention to chopping and dicing for the dinner. 

“Harry?”

Harry looked over his shoulder to see Gwen hovering in the kitchen doorway. Harry put his knife down and turned around.

“Hiya. You okay?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Harry raised his eyebrows and led Gwen into the conservatory. Harry sat on the sofa and Gwen sat in a chair, clutching her hands.

“What’s up, Gwen? Is everything okay?”

“It’s about Mister Louis.”

Harry widened his eyes in surprise. “Did something happen?”

“I’m afraid he…” Gwen sighed, trying to find her words. “I’m sorry, Harry. It’s just that it’s upset me a bit.”

“Gwen, what the hell happened?”

“He’s been cleaning his own bathroom!” Gwen suddenly blurted out. “I’m very sorry if he isn’t satisfied with my cleaning I do for him, but I have been working as I always have for you and you have never complained yourself, Sir, and-”

“Gwen!” Harry giggled, although he tried not to make Gwen feel laughed at. “I promise you, it’s not that.”

“If I’m cleaning in a way he doesn’t like…”

“Gwen, love. I  _ promise,  _ you do a wonderful job. I’m very happy with you working for me. But Louis has always cleaned his own bathroom. I think he’s just used to doing it.”

“Will you check with him?”

“Alright. I’ll ask him. But you have to accept, love, that he’s very stubborn and he may prefer to clean his own bathroom. It’s not a reflection on your work at all. I know that he doesn’t want his living here to be a burden, so he probably thinks he’s doing you a favour rather than trying to offend or criticise.”

“Okay.” Gwen exhaled heavily. “Thank you.”

“I value you immensely, Gwen.” Harry smiled fondly. “I’m very sorry this has been playing on your mind.”

“Thank you,” she said again. “I’m going to clean the pool, now.”

“I bet you’re glad to actually have a reason to clean down there nowadays.”

Gwen smiled and nodded before dashing off.

-

“Oh no!” Louis said, trying to stifle a giggle. “Poor Gwen.”

“She was really cut up about it.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow. God, I wouldn’t have thought cleaning my own bathroom would’ve upset her.”

“Well, she’s almost as stubborn as you.”

Louis rolled his eyes and smiled mockingly at Harry. He took another bite of lamb and sighed.

“This is so good, Harry.”

“Thanks. I’m a fan of slow roasting meat. It’s so tender, no?”

“Mhm.” Louis speared his last bit of meat and his last potato and popped them in his mouth, chewing and leaning back on his chair. “Yum.”

“Is Emily coming round on Tuesday?”

“Yeah.”

“What should I cook?” Harry wondered aloud. “Something fairly quick. I’ve got meetings all day.”

“Let me cook!” Louis suggested.

“Hm, you could. But I think your daughter deserves a better dinner than beans on toast.”

“Fuck off,” Louis replied. 

Later on, they settled in the living room to watch TV, but they became distracted with kisses and tender touches. It felt like they were trying to catch up on the years lost, but in reality Harry was never happier than when they were kissing.

“Haz?”

“Hm?” Harry asked. Louis grinned and straddled him. “Oh, darling. I really think I might snap in half if we get up to anything tonight.”

“Is my weight on you hurting?”

“No.”

Louis kissed him. “Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight?”

Harry gazed up at him. Not long ago, they had decided to just see where things went with each other. Now, though, Harry knew what he wanted.

“Move in.”

Louis tilted his head. “I already live here, remember?”

“Yeah, in another room. I want to wake up with you every single day. Have that room for your stuff, whatever. But I want to share a bed with you.”

A small smile emerged on Louis’ face. “Really? You know, it’s almost like you’re asking me to be your  _ boyfriend  _ or something.”

Harry shook his head and shrugged. “Louis, I obviously don’t have any interest in anybody else.”

Louis stroked over Harry’s cheek and gazed at his mouth. “How long do you want me here, Harry? Living here?”

“What?” Harry frowned in confusion. “For as long as you like. This is your home. For… forever, if that’s what you want.”

Louis betrayed a tiny smile. “Alright. In that case, I’d absolutely love to move in with you.”

“Great.”

“As a  _ lover.  _ A  _ boyfriend.  _ A partner.”

“Whatever.” Harry beamed stupidly. “Now, get off me. I’m an old, damaged man.”

-

Harry made himself scarce. Louis wanted to talk to Emily alone.

It didn’t stop Harry listening from the hallway, though.

“Here’s the thing…” Louis said carefully. “Obviously, me and Harry have been cohabiting. You know, we’ve known each other a long time. We’re old friends.”

“Who used to sleep together,” Emily pointed out.

“Anyway,” Louis said through gritted teeth. “As I was saying, mine and Harry’s friendship is dear to me, and since we reconnected it’s been developing. As you know, I’ve got my own room here, but, um… I want you to know that from now on, I’ll be sharing Harry’s room.”

Silence hung in the air, and Harry started to feel a bit awkward.

“So,” Emily spoke. “What you’re saying is that you’ve finally got your act together?”

“We never lied, Em. It’s a fairly recent development, I promise. It’s old people’s stuff, it’s all very complicated.”

“Dad, come on. Don’t talk to me like a child.”

“Sorry. Sorry, darling.” A pause. “I was just preempting the  _ I told you so.” _

“Oh, I won’t say it. I’m ecstatic for you, Dad. I’m so glad you’ve found someone to share the rest of your life with.”

The silence that followed told Harry that Louis felt the same way about the remark, the concept. Harry bit his lip, trying to control his smile somewhat. Louis appeared in the doorway and Harry jumped backwards, startled and knowing he looked guilty.

“Oh!” Louis squeaked. “Listening in, were we?”

“I’m Harry Styles. I can do whatever I want.”

Louis let out a laugh, bright and airy. “Don’t ever say that to me again!”

The three of them sat down for dinner and the atmosphere felt more settled and light than ever. As usual, he and Emily ganged up to lightly tease Louis, and Harry felt happier than he ever thought he could. Happier than he used to think he deserved. 

He caught Louis’ eye across the table when they were all laughing and he was so happy he felt like he could cry. This wasn’t what he had pictured through the years whenever he thought of having a family of his own, but he knew now that nothing could be more perfect for him.

“Harry? Hello?”

Harry looked up to see Louis smirking at him. “Hm?”

“What were you thinking about?” Louis asked with a sly grin.

Harry smiled weakly looking between Louis and Emily.

“About how much I love you. Both of you.”

He blinked back his happy tears as Louis started to lightly mock him, before Emily told her father off and they started to chatter over each other.

At the age of sixty, Harry finally had everything he needed. 


	4. Epilogue

**_Harry Styles looks cheerful with partner Louis Tomlinson on his 84th birthday as rumours about his declining health continue to run wild_ **

**_\---_ **

Louis hated hospitals, but as he grew older they were a day to day reality for him. They had been a particular presence for him in the past few months, but hopefully that was about to change.

“Still waiting, Dad?”

Louis looked up and smiled at Emily. “They said it would be any minute.”

Emily handed Louis a cup of tea and sat down next to him.

“This must be a relief for you.”

“It will be. Once we’re out of here.” Louis turned to look at Emily. “Thank you for giving up your day for this.”

“It’s my pleasure, Dad.”

Emily’s Australian accent had softened over the years, but she still maintained a twang that reminded Louis of his late husband. Ethan was a part of Louis that was deep in the past, but Louis saw him every day, living on in Emily. 

“Did you get that leak sorted at the shop?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, it’s in hand. Don’t get upset, but about a dozen books were ruined.”

Louis mouth twisted into a frown. “Oh, well. Can’t be helped.”

Louis sipped at his tea. He was tired. He would normally be heading off for a nap right about now. That, or he would have fallen asleep in front of the TV.

“Someone’s coming.”

Louis looked up as a nurse approached them. She had a pleasant, vacant expression. At least she didn’t look at her wit’s end.

“Mr. Tomlinson?”

“That’s me.”

She cocked her head down the hallway with a smile. Louis stood to his feet and raised his eyebrows in acknowledgment.

“Oh, there you are.”

Harry was being wheeled down the hallway towards him in a wheelchair. He was grinning stupidly.

“I need a gin and tonic!” Harry called down the hall to Louis. “There better be one at home waiting for me.”

The nurse turned to Louis. “He’s best off with no alcohol for about a week. I know he’ll be disappointed, but I’d rather he didn’t drink for a bit. Any problems, day or night, give us a call. You’ve got all the paperwork?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, smiling at Harry as he arrived next to him.

“Great.” The nurse nodded. “Ready to go home, Harry?”

Harry smirked up at her. “I’m very sad to be leaving you.”

The nurse rolled her eyes, trying to stifle a smile. She looked at Louis. “He’s been an absolute terror. We’re so glad to be getting rid of him. He’s been giving all of us hell.”

“I’ll bet.” Louis grinned down at Harry. “How’s the hip feeling, then?”

“Ooh, good as new.” Harry winked. “Get me out of here, Lou. The only music they play on this ward is hip-hop.”

Louis groaned and shook his head. Harry chuckled quietly to himself. The nurse talked Louis through some more bits and pieces as they headed out to the car, Harry lightly teasing the orderly who was pushing him. 

“Debra?” Harry turned to look at the nurse as they got to the kerb. “How long until I can have sex?”

“God,” Louis muttered. “Harry, do you really have to say these things in front of our daughter?”

Emily scoffed. “I’m used to it by now.”

“I’d say about eight weeks,” Debra said. “But use your common sense, Harry. Don’t go crazy.”

Louis cackled. “Mm, he wishes.”

Harry was helped into the car by the orderly and Louis thanked the nurse profusely.

“It was a pleasure, Mr. Tomlinson. He’s a right little charmer.”

“Mm, don’t I know it?” Louis laughed. “Thank you again, dear.”

Louis climbed into the back seat on the other side and reached over to take Harry’s hand as Emily started the car. 

“How are you feeling? You in pain? Tired?”

“Well, I’m up to my eyeballs in painkillers. So no, no pain, and yes, very tired.”

Louis brought Harry’s hand up to his lips and kissed it. “Alright. You want to have a nap when we get home?”

Harry sighed. “Yes. Lovely hospital, but I really need to sleep in my own bed.”

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand. “You know the nurse said you’re not allowed alcohol for a while?”

“Yes, I know. I was joking about the gin.” He looked at Louis. “Mostly.”

When they arrived home, Emily got Harry’s crutches out of the boot and Louis walked close by as Harry hobbled into the house. It was probably stupid to keep this house considering neither of them tended to go upstairs, but it was their home. The first and only home they had shared together, so they kept it. 

“Do you need the toilet before your nap?”

“No. Just bed please.” Harry winced as he pulled himself towards their room on his crutches. “I have to sleep on my back with, like, loads of pillows under and between my knees.”

“They’ve told me all about it.” 

“Louis? Will you lie with me? Just until I fall asleep?”

Louis smiled softly. “Yeah. But I was going to nap, too, so I can’t guarantee I won’t fall asleep next to you.”

“Just don’t try any funny business.” Harry grinned as he carefully lowered himself to his bed. Louis hurried to help. “It would be a lovely treat to sleep next to you.”

Louis felt the same. They had been sleeping in separate beds for a few years now. Between Harry tossing and turning due to hip pain and Louis needing to go for a wee every two hours, neither of them were getting decent sleep. They slept in a double bed each, four feet apart. On the rare occasion they had sex, they would usually end up falling asleep together in Harry’s bed afterwards and Louis would return to his own when he woke up for a wee.

“You need anything?” Louis asked as he removed his clothes, placing them carefully on his own bed.

“Will you stop fussing?”

Louis looked at him, unimpressed. “Emily will be back later. She’s gonna cook us dinner.”

“Oh. She’s a good girl.”

“She’s forty-eight. She’s not a girl.”

“Be quiet,” Harry said lightly. “Will you help me with these pillows?”

Louis arranged the pillows around Harry’s knees like the nurse had shown him before slipping into bed beside him and taking his hand.

“This is nice.”

“It’s a dream come true. Can we go to sleep?”

-

“I’m a bit uncomfortable.”

“Well, darling, you have to put up with being a bit uncomfortable, or your hip is going to dislocate, and then you’ll be  _ really  _ uncomfortable.”

“Shut up,” Harry mumbled grumpily. 

Louis smirked at Emily who shook her head, exasperated. “I’m getting fed up of the pair of you. I’m putting you both in a home.”

“Whatever.” Louis laughed. “I will  _ never _ let you put my boy in a home.”

They ate a simple dinner of chicken, potatoes, and salad. Louis felt so relieved to have Harry home. He had been gone a little under a week and it had been excruciating. Louis had visited him in hospital every day, but there was nothing like being in the comfort of their own home together. 

After dinner, Emily headed off home once she was satisfied that Harry and Louis were alright and didn’t need anything. Louis had a nurse on call just in case, but for now, they were alone.

“God,” Harry scoffed as he carefully lowered himself into an armchair with Louis’ assistance. “You know, I can’t  _ believe _ I had to get a hip replacement.”

“I can’t believe it finally happened after the years and years I’ve had to put up with you complaining about your hip.”

“I still blame you. It’s all that wild sex when we were twenty.”

“Alright, whatever. Who did all the booty calling, huh?”

“Okay, yeah.” Harry grinned cheekily. “It was me!”

“Poor Liam, having to handle all your affairs.”

“I know. Anyway, I suppose my hip did last a good while.” Harry stared at Louis until he made eye contact. “It’s been…. Eighty-four years…”

“Fucking hell,” Louis groaned. “I don’t know what’s worse. That joke, or the fact that I haven’t been expecting a Titanic joke since you turned eighty-four.”

Harry giggled, pleased with himself. “Hey, do you think I look younger than the old woman in the film?”

“Hard to say, love. I mean… she was seventeen years older than you.”

“The actress wasn’t,  _ obviously.” _

“I know, but they made her up to look like she was a hundred years old. So, yes, I think you look younger.”

“Hmm.”

“How old was the actress when the film was made?”

“I don’t know, love. Would you like me to look it up?”

“Yes,” Harry said.

Louis sighed, pulling his phone from his pocket. He squinted at the screen, trying to remember how to work the bloody thing. He longed for the long gone days of the iPhone 6. He couldn’t even remember what number they were on now. 

“Alright, um… oh. She was like, eighty-six!”

“Oh, cool. So she  _ was _ older than me.”

“Yup.” Louis nodded. “She died in 2010. She was one hundred years old.”

Harry pouted thoughtfully and Louis felt his heart jump with affection. His boy may have been in his twilight years, but Louis still found him gorgeous and it was hard for Louis to even think of spending his eighties any other way. 

“Lou?”

“Hm?”

“I was thinking, while I was in hospital.” Harry cleared his throat and winced as he tried to pull himself up straighter in his armchair. “We’re getting old. Like, really old.”

“That’s true, darling.”

Harry took a deep breath. “I think we should get married.”

Louis eyebrows shot up as far as they possibly could and he let out a little surprised laugh.

“Are you… are you joking?”

“No, I’m not  _ joking,” _ Harry replied. “I know it sounds mad at our age, but I think-”

Harry stopped abruptly and Louis raised his eyebrows again, waiting for him to finish his thought. Harry narrowed his eyes and stared off into space for a minute. Louis didn’t want to disrupt whatever he was thinking about.

“We’re not getting younger. I think it’ll be easier for us, when one of us dies, if we’re married. More practical.”

“Harry, I don’t want to talk about this. It’s all very morbid. We’re both healthy, neither of us are going to die any time soon.”

“Louis, I just had surgery. I could’ve died on the operating table, you know that. I saw it in your face every single day leading up to my operation.”

“Shut up, Harry,” Louis snapped.

“We’re fucking  _ old. _ I’m trying to be practical, here.”

Louis scoffed. “Why does it matter? It’s not as if I’m with you for your money.”

“Oh, my  _ God.”  _ Harry laughed humourlessly and rolled his eyes. “Really? I was  _ nearly _ convinced you were a gold digger!”

“Fuck off. Stop talking about dying. I won’t have it.”

“Maybe you just don’t want to marry me. You gonna run off with someone younger, Lou?”

“Damn, you caught me. I’m gonna run off with my young, energetic, seventy-five year old bit on the side.” Louis, with some difficulty, stood from the sofa. It had been a long time since he had been agile enough to storm out of an argument with Harry. “I’m not having this conversation.”

He walked out of the room as quickly as he could and locked himself in their bedroom. He managed to stay in there, annoyed and grumpy, for an entire fifteen minutes. He had thought about taking a nap, but he was too worried that Harry would need him to stay away too long.

Harry was asleep in his chair. Louis approached him and sighed. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against Harry’s forehead. Harry stirred, groaning softly before looking up at Louis.

“I love you,” Louis murmured. 

“Love you, too.” Harry sighed. “Marry me. For love, if you don’t care about the convenience.”

Louis carefully dropped to his knees so he could be a little closer to Harry’s face. He took his hand.

“I wish you wouldn’t talk about dying.”

“Darling, I know you’re scared.” Harry squeezed his hand. “And I won’t keep talking about it, but I’m just trying to think about the future and what’s best and easiest for everybody.”

“I’ve already had to go through losing a husband once.”

“Us staying unmarried won’t make it hurt any less if I go first.”

Louis winced. “Stop it. I know. I know that. I’m just telling you why I can’t fucking stand it when you talk about death.”

“I know, baby. I know. It’s okay. But please marry me.”

Louis sighed. “Alright, fine. I will.”

Harry yanked his hand from Louis’. “Tell me you want to.”

“What?”

“Don’t say ‘alright’ just to shut me up. Tell me you want to get married.”

Louis sighed and rolled his eyes. “Of course I do. I’ve loved you since-”

Harry smirked. “Since?”

Louis stood up stiffly as Harry watched him in amusement. “Alright. Have you never been in love with two people at the same time?”

“You know I’ve only ever loved you.”

“Well, it was complicated. My love for you was... on pause while I was married.”

“Complicated. Sure. Whatever.” Harry smirked. 

Louis swatted him on the arm. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I’m in love with you. Happy? We’re engaged. Text Em and tell her, will you? I’m going to get you an ice lolly.”

When Louis returned, Harry was tapping his phone against his palm.

“Well, what did she say?”

“I’m not going to  _ text _ her to tell her we’re getting married, you toad.”

Louis frowned. “Did you just call me a toad?”

“Let’s ring her.”

“Toad,” Louis scoffed quietly as Harry made the call. “Where did you learn that word?”

“Shut up, it’s ringing.”

_ “Hi, Harry,”  _ Emily said when she answered.  _ “Everything okay?” _

“Hi, darling,” Louis said as Harry switched the call to speakerphone. “Everything’s great. We just wanted to tell you something.”

_ “Oh?” _

“Um…” Harry cleared his throat. “This is gonna sound mad. But we’re getting married.”

_ “You’re… you’re what?” _

“We’re getting married,” Louis said. “Got anything to say about that?”

_ “Oh, Dad, stop it.” _ Emily sighed.  _ “Harry, was this your idea?” _

“Yes!” Harry replied. “Should I have asked your permission first?”

_ “I would’ve laughed in your face.” _

“Fair.”

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, Em,” Louis said. “We’ll discuss it then. Sound good?”

_ “Uh, yeah. Whatever. You two are so weird.” _

“Love you, too.”

Louis hung up the phone and Harry laughed as he unwrapped his ice lolly.

“She’ll love it,” Louis insisted. 

“We should employ her as our wedding planner,” Harry mused. “I want doves and beaches. And a horse and carriage!”

“Stop it. Hey.” Louis took Harry’s free hand. “Do you think it would be nice if I asked her to give me away?”

Harry smiled softly. “I think that would be wonderful.”

-

**_Harry Styles weds partner Louis Tomlinson in private ceremony_ **

**_\---_ **

“Em- Em… Emily!” Louis batted at her hands. “Emily Rose Tomlinson, will you stop fussing?”

Emily shot him a dirty look before sighing. “Your bow tie won’t sit straight.”

“Doesn’t matter. Nothing about how I look is going to be tidy, now, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Eighty-six year olds don’t exactly make the most handsome grooms.”

“Oh, stop it. You look dashing.” Emily cocked a smile. “Harry will fall off his crutches when he sees you.”

“Nuh-uh. He’s forgoing the crutches today.”

“He is? Oh, then he’s definitely gonna fall over.”

Louis smiled softly. “Don’t joke. You’ll be sorry if he does.”

There was a knock at the open door, and Emily and Louis both spun around.

“You two are ridiculous!” Harry laughed as he hobbled in on his crutches. “What’s this about me falling over?”

“Nothing,” Louis said quickly, looking Harry up and down. “Well, don’t you look lovely? Should’ve known you’d wear pink.”

Harry was wearing a black tuxedo with a pink shirt, white bow tie. He had flowers tied to his crutches and Louis couldn’t help but smile.

“Do I look sexier than I did at my first Grammy’s?”

“Far sexier, my love.”

Emily scoffed and left the room. Louis cackled loudly as he fondly watched Harry take a seat.

“Remember when we picked you up from the hospital and you asked the nurse when you could have sex? And Em just said she’s used to it?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied with a laugh. “I think she was putting on a brave face in front of the hospital staff.”

“I know.” Louis approached Harry and placed his arms on his shoulders, gently fingering his wispy hair. “I don’t think people like to think about people our age having sex.”

Harry smirked.  _ “I  _ like to think about people our age having sex.”

“I hope, by that, you mean us.”

“Of course.” Harry smiled up at him. “Speaking of which... are we gonna have a wild wedding night?”

“You haven’t recovered enough yet. You know that.”

“But it’s my wedding day!”

“You’re an eighty-four year old recovering from a hip replacement! Behave yourself, for once in your life.”

Harry pouted and looked up with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage. “Okay.”

“If you’re good…” Louis grinned. “I might treat you to a handjob.”

“Really?” Harry asked brightly. “I packed the Viagra.”

“Good lad.” Louis looked at his watch. “We’d better get going.”

Louis helped Harry up before pulling him into a gentle hug. Harry sighed contentedly and as they pulled away, he grabbed Louis’ wrist. He thumbed over the face of the Rolex.

“Something old?”

Louis smiled, looking down at the watch face. He felt Harry’s eyes watching him.

“Yeah.” Louis looked up and met Harry’s eyes. “I love you, Harry. So much.”

“Love you, too. Shall we go and get married?”

-

Louis felt himself welling up as Emily walked him down the aisle. He kissed her on the cheek just before he stepped next to Harry. Harry handed his crutches off to his niece, Susanne, and took Louis’ hand in his.

The room was packed full of family members. Louis’ siblings had countless children, grandchildren and even some great grandchildren between them. Louis almost never remembered most of their names without prompting. Harry’s family were there too, along with a few close friends. They had both been through a lot of loss in the past decade or so - it felt like they attended a funeral once a week - but those who were still around were in attendance to celebrate. It was a nice change of event for most of them.

Liam was next to Harry in his wheelchair, looking a bit like he could fall asleep at any moment. Still, he stayed awake long enough to hand over the rings and, after a brief exchange of vows, Harry and Louis kissed and they were married.

They had a short reception, since half the guests were due a nap by the time the ceremony ended, before a car came to pick them up for their honeymoon.

“Did you have to book such a flash car?” Louis gently chastised Harry. “You’re always so unnecessary with your spending.”

“Well, I’ve worked hard for that money and I need the extra space. I’ve just had an operation, Louis.”

“True. Alright,” Louis relented. 

He shook hands with the driver and informed him they would need to make a stop every hour so that Harry could stretch his legs. 

“I’d given up the idea of getting married, you know,” Harry mused as they set off. “Once I hit, like… fifty, I was like… that’s it. And once we got together, I didn’t think you wanted to remarry.”

“I didn’t.” Louis took Harry’s hand. “But, you know. It’s you, so…”

Harry grinned. “Sorry for bullying you into marrying me.”

“It’s okay. It was only gentle bullying.”

“I had grand plans for my honeymoon, though.” Harry stared out of the window, wistful smile on his face. “Hawaii, or somewhere. Barbados. Somewhere hot with blue, blue ocean.”

“Well, you never would’ve survived such a long plane journey. As in, you would’ve complained the whole way and I would’ve killed you.”

“Ha! It’s okay. As long as I’m with you, it’s the best honeymoon ever.”

-

**_Harry Styles shares emotional Instagram honeymoon snap with new husband Louis Tomlinson: ‘Fate was smiling down on me’_ **

_ The octogenarian rocker shared the snap from a Cornwall beach with a touching caption about new husband Louis Tomlinson. _

_ ‘Harrystyles: I don’t think I’d be here today if it wasn’t for this man. We met when I was 19. In my mid-20s, we lost touch. Fate was smiling down on me when we reunited just before I turned 60, and the past 25 years have been the happiest of my life. I gained a partner, a daughter, a new direction in life. Love you, Lou, for the rest of our days.’ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this, please [reblog the Tumblr post!](https://catfishau.tumblr.com/post/175675198621/lightning-strikes-twice-by)  
> There is a [little drabble here](https://catfishau.tumblr.com/post/181110794486/a-little-drabble-ive-been-meaning-to-write-ever) detailing the scene where Ethan takes Louis to Harry's concert if you wish to read it :)


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